If these four walls could speak-SS Part 2 Page 2

Prologue

The feelings inside were bottled up and there was a huge weight inside the heart. It was a painful feeling where you feel as if your heart is going to stop at any time. It was a deserted feeling where you feel as if no one in the world can understand your pain. A feeling of loneliness and alienation swept over. They say we all need a shoulder to rely on when we are going through tough time but what do you do when you have no one to rely on? No one to share your pain with, no one to tell you that everything will be ok. You don't know if what you are doing is correct. You don't know if the feelings that you have are valid? Are they reciprocated? A release was needed. Someone was needed to hear the pain hear the suffering as it was too much for the heart to take on. You can carry all the burdens in your heart and put up a happy face to the world but there comes a time when you cannot carry the burden anymore. There comes a time when your heart tells you "enough is enough; I cannot bottle up these feelings anymore. I cannot bear this pain for you" What do you do then? Where do you go to? Who do you talk to?

The phone rang at Dr. Malhotra's office. "I would like to make an appointment to meet with Dr. Malhotra please" said the voice on the other line. They agreed upon a time. The receptionist asked for a name. "Raman Kumar Bhalla" said the voice on the other line. She asked if he had ever been to a therapist before and he said no. She asked for the reason. He responded "My whole world is crashing down and I cannot bear this pain anymore by myself. I need help. I need someone to save me".

aaah finally a story frm Raman's side...thank u for this sai...🤗

loved the prologue

u knw i just said somethin on Raman here

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/109538835


n here u r with this SS..wht a connection..🤗🤗🤗


continue soon

Res

Edited/

you know I had to come and edit here right now. Regardless of anything 😆

Thank you SS for this truly - for giving Raman a voice in all of this. Absolutely beautiful, his world is truly
Crashing and he needs someone to save him from himself.

Now I'm going to harass until I get more!

n this is wht i said for breakdown of Raman a few hours back today

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/109527006

Originally posted by: Nikki_Titli

Raman will breakdown...otherwise it will look unreal...he IS bottling up so many emotions since past few days n worst part he dnt hv anyone to share...though he only made situations for tht...bt thts the fact... Ishu had atleast Toshi... Raman-coz of his own actions,he dnt hv anyone..!! he wnt be able to think straight till he let his breakdown happen...n jis tarah se track is goin,i dnt think Raman will be able to handle it more...breakpoint has to come...n tht too soon..!!

Res :)

*** EDITED

Very good premise... and if YHM wasn't a daily soap... someone would have actually suggested that Raman go to therapy. If he cannot talk to Ishita, he should talk to an unbiased third-party who would be bound by confidentiality...

Tum kya Uz se inspire ho rahi ho Sai??? Ittusa update ??? chalo prologue hai isliye maaf kiya 😉😆

Author's note- I just wanted to say- This is different from my usual writing. I felt as if Raman's voice was lost during this track. Everyone has been finding faults with him but Raman's point of view has not been explored. Raman is not perfect at all and he is a flawed man which makes him human as we are all flawed. I believe Raman's actions in this track is the effect of all the pain he has endured in the past- being cheated on ,losing custody of his child, lack of emotional attachment to Ruhi. Raman has been through a lot and this is my attempt in exploring his past. Hope you guys like it 😃

Part 2

It was 4:30 on Monday and Raman had the appointment with therapist at 5:30. He brought Ruhi home from school. Ishita has not spoken a word to him since the picnic. He used to find her lectures annoying and used to wish that she would shut up but now every nerve in his body wishes that she would speak. He knew what he did was wrong but he felt as if he could not totally understand Ishita's hurt. She was the one that told him to be cordial with Shagun for Adi's sake and he is doing all this for Adi. He didn't know what to think of anymore. He was lost in his thoughts when Ruhi came up to him and asked him if he would help with her homework. He told her that he has an appointment with someone at 5:30 so he needs to leave. Toshiji asked who the appointment is with as her and Ishita assumed he was meeting with Shagun and hiding from them. Raman told Ruhi to go inside and told his mom that they don't have to know everything about his life and he is a grownup man and can do whatever he wants. Saying so he storms out of the house.

Raman walked in to Dr. Malhotra's office. The receptionist made him fill out some paper work and asked him to wait. Dr. Malhotra came out and asked Raman to come inside. She told Raman to have a seat on the sofa. She asks him for the basic information and proceeds to ask "What brings you into my office today, Raman?"

Raman: I was married to Shagun and we had two children. Our first son is Adiya and second child was our daughter Ruhi. After Ruhi was born Shagun left me for my boss Ashok. She also got custody of Adi by lying to the court that I hit Adi when we both know that he was the one that slipped through the stairs. Ashok and Shagun have both spoiled my son mind that he hates me and does not want to do anything with me. Ruhi grew up with my parents. I moved to Delhi 7 months ago and got stuck in a bitter custody fight over our daughter Ruhi. My daughter ended up developing a strong relationship with our neighbor Ishita. Ishita and I did not get along as we misunderstood everything and she went as far going on TV to talk bad about me which hurt my business and it also began a custody fight for my daughter. I was unable to develop an emotional relationship with my daughter as everything about her reminded me of Shagun. During this custody fight my father suggested that I marry Ishita to gain custody of Ruhi and I did so for my daughter. We ended up getting custody of Ruhi but me and Ishita do not have a wife-husband relationship. Over the period of time we both developed an emotional attachment where now I can say that we are friends.

I felt as if my life was perfect as it could be within the last 7 months as Ishita gave me a sense of peace that no one was able to give and everyone recognized a change in me and I welcomed that change. It finally felt as if I was getting over the past hurt and finally was given a chance to start a new chapter in life. felt like I was finally able to develop an emotional relationship with Ruhi and I felt like Ishita and I were at a better place than when we started. We started to rely on each other emotionally and I felt as if we developed a friendship

But as always it appears that life has other plans for me which prevents me from being happy. Amma's accident happened and things started going downhill. I always admired Amma and I wanted to catch the culprit who dared to hurt Amma. I was on a mission to catch the culprit. The whole world crashed on me when Shagun told me that she was the cause of the accident. Adi begged me to save Shagun and I promised him that I will save her. I ended up hiding it from Ishita and things have started spiraling downwards. I feel guilty for what I am doing but I don't know how to stop it.

I love Adi more than my life. Adi is my first born. My family says that I should forget about Adi since he is not your typical model child but how can you forget your son just because he has bad behavior? His behavior is not because he is intrinsically a bad person. His behavior is due to the environment that was raised on. How can the world expect me to not love my son? I do not like Adi because he is a male child. I love him because he is my blood and no matter what kind of person he is he is still my son. I agree that Adi needs discipline and he needs to be taught right from wrong but that is not his fault. He needs to be brought up in a loving home. I cannot stop loving my son just because he is mean to me or other people.

Dr. Malhotra: Why are you hiding this from Ishita, Raman? It appears that Ishita is a very understandable person. So don't you think she will be able to understand and help you?

Raman: I am hiding this from her because I do not know how her reaction will be. I have only known her for seven months. We have known each other well but I am scared as to how she will react. This is the same woman that went to the news channel to complain against me. I am scared. What if she does not understand my pain and Shagun ends up in jail? I understand that what Shagun did was wrong and I will never forgive her for it and I will make sure that she will suffer. But I am scared as to how Ishita will react because honestly I cannot blame her. This is her own mother that this happened to and if it happened to my mom I would not sleep until the culprit is put in Jail and if it were any other person that caused Amma's accident I would have. If I had custody of Adi I would not have blinked twice before I surrendered Shagun. This is a very complicated situation and Adi has been through a lot that I want to protect him from the hurt of losing his mother.

Dr. Malhotra: hmm.. well What we are now is a combination of past experiences. You can only continue towards the future with a clear mind when you have made peace with your past. It must not have been easy for you to be cheated upon. Tell me more about your marriage to Shagun and how the marriage ended.

Raman: Shagun and I met through our parents but we fell in love with each other. She was my first love and I felt as if she completed me. She became the love of my life and life of my love. I was always a happy person in my life thanks to my family and Shagun. My nickname was happy. We had Adi and our life was perfect. I started a job with Ashok Khanna and our family was a happy little family. Couple years after Adi's birth I noticed Shagun created distance from me. We did not share any level of intimacy-let it be physical or emotional. I noticed her increased closeness to Ashok Khanna. We had Ruhi in an effort to save our marriage but that was not successful. She told me that I was inadequate and could not please her in any way. She left me with a young baby in my arms for another man.

I felt like I was an inadequate loser after that happened. To make matters worse she took custody of Adi and the court told me that I cannot even be near Adi. I was losing control of my life and I was angry. I had no one to show my anger on. I didn't know who to be angry on. The woman that I loved the most left me for another man. It made me doubt myself. It made me doubt my manhood. It was painful and my way of dealing with that pain was to create anger. I fed into the anger because that was the only that comforted me. I was angry at the entire world.

The real pain was the fact that I had something that was mine to keep- my very own family- Shagun, Aditya and Ruhi and I was unable to hold a tight enough girp on and it escaped from me. Perhaps I was the one to blame? Did I marry the wrong woman? If I was a better husband would my kids have grown up in a normal house? Was I the one that wronged my kids? These are the demons I have faced these past years and still face to this day.

Dr. Malhotra: Have you been in a relationship after Shagun? A relationship where you were in love with that person?

Raman: No I haven't been in a relationship. I am scared to let someone in my life have that much control over me that they can hurt me all over again. I trained myself to not feel anything for anyone, as I do not want to give anyone the chance to hurt me again.

Dr. Malhotra: Raman people cheat for various reasons. Even though it is a very easy thing to do you should not blame yourself for the other person's actions. Shagun cheated on you. She made the decision to start a relationship with Ashok. That is not on you. You cannot assume that every woman will break your heart the way Shagun did. It is a worse feeling to be cheated upon and have you son taken away from you. But there comes a time to move on and that time is now. Your heart will always bear the burden of your memories with Shagun but you need to realize that people come in and out of your life for a reason and whether it's better or for worse you learn from it. Shagun was in your life for a reason- to give you two beautiful children. Appreciate your children and move away from Shagun. Don't let what Shagun did to you keep you away from your happiness. Human beings need love. We all need a companion. You have prevented yourself from feeling the emotion of love towards another woman because of what Shagun did to you. That is not correct. Do not let Shagun prevent you from having your happiness.

May be your happiness is with Ishita? You said that you feel a sense of calm in these seven months. May be that is what you are missing in your life? Our one hour is up but think about this before you next session. In the meanwhile stop feeling guilty and take responsibility for your actions. You decided to save Shagun because you want to make Adi happy so you need to take responsibility for your actions. Ishita is hurt but you need to own up to it. You cannot control how she feels and she cannot control how you feel. We will discuss more in your session and we will also dwell on your relationship with Adi and Ruhi.

outstanding update sai...only few of us understand this condition of Raman...n this SS hv come at right time..LOVED it...🤗🤗🤗🤗

Awesome.. Plz upd8 sooner :)

Res... I will unres the prologue and this one soon Sai


*** Hey Sai

Now we are talking!!!

I thought this one would be weepy. But the way Raman frankly told everything to the doctor was wonderful. He needs to talk. period.

This update will also serve as an update to new viewers (and is nostalgic for old ones)... your have described Raman and Ishita's relationship in his words!!! That was the best part of this update for me... Well done Sai... looking forward to the next one!!!

Updated my comments for prologue in page 1 and part 1 in page 2...