Chapter 4
The distance that she had just created between them, perished as she found herself in his arms, kissed by him and it was only because she had the support of the tree that she could at all stand, since she had seemingly lost all control of her limbs and reflexes. And Raman was as unable to hold his own. For he was so drawn in her, he never realized when it was her body, her lips that were the only things that kept him standing, in place.
His lips devoured hers over and over and when even that seemed to be not enough, they were creating a trail of fire as they slowly traced her jaw, her cheek, her neck as they found their path once again to her lips.
It never even occurred to her when her hands traveled up his shoulders and found their way around his neck, holding his head. Fingers in his hair she found herself reciprocating to him, his lips with as much ardor.
Nor did she realize when his hands found their way around her waist, holding her in as they lost themselves in the moment, in their passion for each other.
It was the sound of thunder and the need for air, which finally had them breaking apart.
They stood there gasping for air, still locked in each other' embrace, when it dawned on them what exactly had happened between them.
She immediately withdrew her hands and faced away from him, hands on her mouth - shame, embarrassment and humiliation coursing through her veins. And as if her own touch now reminded her of each place, where he touched set ablaze once again at the memory of the moment past.
Had he been capable of words at the moment he would have said something, anything to her but for the moment he was stunned speechless.
The passion with which they had kissed, was, is foreign to him.
Yes he was married before, even has kids and hence isn't an inexperienced virgin but this - this fire, this zeal was never in the kisses he shared with Shagun.
He always initiated their coupling and she, she just played her part and went to sleep.
He was so very much in love with her, he never picked up that the feelings weren't mutual or even falsely being reciprocated with the intensity he ought to have deserved or asked for.
She turned to him then slowly with her eyes closed. Summoning strength she could no longer recall she had, she raised her eyes to his and saw the look on his face reflecting the exact shock on hers -but also something more. Something she couldn't understand. Couldn't name. The emotion sending panic racing through her body.
Raman Bhalla was looking at her like a man drowning, who had found a dry land. A man who it seemed was looking at life again with hope and who hoped to have a life all at the same time.
If she could have gathered her wits at the moment, she would have called him out on his audacity, slapped him perhaps or just said a word but at the moment her mouth felt dry and her skin crawled.
When Raman held her again, the ferocious hold though replaced by a gentle one, the look in his eyes was more than enough to make up for what he lacked in his grip. He came close to her again, and while the fear in her eyes stopped him from capturing her lips again, he could not stop himself from staring at her as if he had found an oasis in the middle of a desert.
Suddenly she was scared of what he might do and so she did the only thing that came to her, the thing which she thinks she should have done much sooner - run.
His eyes followed her retreating form and a smile graced his lips even before he realized it was there. The moment he was aware of its presence, it rattled him so completely. As he found himself wondering,
What just happened here? I...I kissed Ishita?
Oh! God, how, why ... what, what would I tell her?
He was flabbergasted, it was just so unexpected - not just the kiss and its intensity, but the biggest surprise of all was, is, he... He initiated it, cannot find it in himself to regret it, not the least.
What is THAT supposed to mean? He asked himself.
Only to find himself embroiled in a battle he thought he would never be a part of again - one where his head and heart were against each other.
It means nothing, he thought.
It means something Raman, and you know it was the response from his heart.
What you kiss in the middle of the rain and suddenly its love in the air for you? His head snapped.
No, what is important is not the rain here or that there was a kiss, but WHOM it was with, and that it was there at all.
This is confusing.
It would not be but you are making it. Admit it Raman, Ishita... is special.
She is Ruhi' mother and nothing more, cannot be.
She is Ruhi' mother, but she is becoming so much more and you cannot hide from it.
All we do is fight. She annoys, lectures, and taunts always. We are nothing alike. She is an idli, dosa eating Madrasi, for heaven' sake!
She is an annoyance in only your opinion, your family adores her - you just said that. As for the lectures and taunts, she only says things you need to hear. Do you not see those taunts and lectures, have worked for you? They gave you the happiness you longed for always but could not ever have. You have found the bliss of your daughter' love, she made that possible. And please, Madrasi who eats idli, dosa - that's not even an excuse! A real reason, even you know that, so spare the buffoonery.
Gratitude, there is only gratitude for that, nothing more.
Then why did you kiss her? You do not do that out of gratitude. Not in the way, you did at least.
I was caught up in the moment, I am a man.
A man, who refused to look at any woman, even those who threw themselves at you in these past years but couldn't hold back tonight.
It was a mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment.
Or it was something that was anything but a mistake. Ishita affects you Raman Bhalla whether you like it or not.
Of course, she would in a moment like this, it is not as if I am blind, she is beautiful.
Beautiful - inside and out, beautiful enough to make the darkness around you diminish.
That's dumb, his mind retorted.
Then just look back at things, you stay happier now, you cannot wait to reach home. You try to be around your family as much as possible, people you avoided for so long.
I do that for Ruhi.
Yes, a part of you, which also knows Ruhi & Ishita are inseparable. You like being around her, even if to just annoy her. Tease her. She, she makes things go quiet and peaceful with her presence.
Yes, she fights all the time, that's peaceful.
You begin it, most of the time. You know that. And the fights may be there, but you feel peaceful Raman, and you cannot lie about that. Look at it how many days has it been since you last went to a bar to drown away your sorrows for the night.
I stopped drinking because I cannot be around Ruhi like that, I, I cannot be some stupid drunkard around my daughter.
Who exactly made you realize that though Raman Bhalla? Ishita did. Admit it Raman, you are falling for her.
I am not.
You are. I can prove it.
Prove it then.
Just one answer from you will suffice, how many days has it been since you last had Shagun on your mind, in any way at all? Its Ishita you constantly think about, you cannot ignore her. If you still do not believe me, say the words Raman, say them. If they are right, you will know it.
And what if, they are wrong?
You will know that too.
Raman closed his eyes and followed the advice his heart gave out and he took a deep breath and slowly uttered -" I ... am...falling... in love... with...her."
Uh, uh Raman no cheating, say it, say her name and say the words. His heart mildly scolded him.
He gave it another shot, said the words a little louder now, with her name.
"I...am ... falling in love with...Ishita."
When he liked the way, they sounded, the way saying the words made him feel. He spoke them again, this time even louder than the last.
"I am falling in love with Ishita."
And this time he looked at the sky, and laughed aloud yelling the words.
"I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH ISHITA."
And because he was drunk from the joy of it, he yelled it again.
He shook his head, smiled the biggest smile and thanked god for letting him be happy again.
He was falling in love with the crazy dentist who called herself a doctor, and that made him happy.
Raman Bhalla figured he has finally lost it and laughed even more.
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He finally opened his eyes and lowered his arms as he looked upon the path Ishita had taken minutes ago and oriented himself towards the direction of his home, and soon found his feet taking him towards his home, where she waited, Ishita, the car he had brought forgotten completely for the time being, in the joy of what he just found.
Unknown to him, a silent figure had stood watching them from afar under an umbrella. It was distant enough to be unseen and yet close enough to have heard his yell from across the distance.
Shagun who had suddenly seen them while driving through the road and decided to use the opportunity to mock her ex-husband and his new wife over the restaurant apology was shocked, when moments after her getting off from the car the couple had kissed, and she had stood dumbstruck at the open display of passion between them.
Her steps halted in her tracks as she took refuge behind a tree near her. She could not hear them, but she could see the zeal with which Raman kissed Ishita, which shocked her to no ends. And once Raman had yelled out his love to Ishita, it had seemed as if a thousand daggers had pierced her heart. It angered her beyond words- that Raman was finding someone who could replace her - it hadn't bothered her much when Ruhi took on Ishita as a mother, since she had hardly been with the girl and though she loved her in her own way, she could grant her daughter the happiness of a mother' love.
However, Raman, her ex-husband who was crazy about her, who despite the numerous attempts of his mother had declined to remarry, (which she knew all about) was moving on.
His marriage with Ishita was a charade she knew it, but she had not relied on the behenjidoctor being able to draw out the Raman who had withdrawn in a shell post her departure.
The Raman who idolizes the one he loves.
Even in his hatred, she had mattered to him, but if he moves on - she would cease to be of any importance in his life at all.
No it cannot be.
She had left Raman for greener pastures, since he could not provide for her enough.
But his constant anger had given her a perverse pleasure that since he couldn't have her now, Raman resorted to hating her to keep her alive in his heart and in his mind. She still was in his life.
If Raman found love in Ishita, it would be... It would be the biggest slap on her face.
She is living with Ashok a life of luxury now but the passion of their relationship has faded.
Not to mention he has not even married her. She fears he never will.
No, Raman cannot have it all.
Ruhi. Fame. Money. A marriage. A family. Love.
And so as Raman Bhalla found himself on his way to home again with a smile, his ex-wife Shagun stood seething in anger shrouded in shadows. Stricken with jealousy at the new found happiness of her ex-husband with his new wife.
Edited by EkPaheli - 11 years ago
CID
16