Is Abha really wrong?? - Page 4

Originally posted by: pRaTiBhA.1990

sweety....in india..there is a different case....i m an independent girl..bt still i want my parents 2 choose a husband 4 me..😳..i hav a very bad temper..bt stilll..i dnt want 2 hurt my parents feelings...if my parents are nt happy wid my marriage against their wish....i ll surely try 2 convince my parents

I do not judge the custom of other countries contrary I respect.
But one thing I learned life is too short to regret louse.
Our parents think they are making the right choice and in the end they end up ruining our lives (my perspective) They are human like me and they know committing errors are the views about my life I don't care

Originally posted by: Pattinson6

I do not judge the custom of other countries contrary I respect.
But one thing I learned life is too short to regret louse.
Our parents think they are making the right choice and in the end they end up ruining our lives (my perspective) They are human like me and they know committing errors are the views about my life I don't care

i agree wid u sweety..bt our thinkings r different....i'll marry a guy of my dad's choice....coz i trust him more than myself..n knws me btter than me...😆n marriage is nt only abt 2 people...its a union of 2 families...😃he he...

Originally posted by: pRaTiBhA.1990

i agree wid u sweety..bt our thinkings r different....i'll marry a guy of my dad's choice....coz i trust him more than myself..n knws me btter than me...😆n marriage is nt only abt 2 people...its a union of 2 families...😃he he...

u knw wat..marriage is my fav topic😉i ll give lots of lecture on dat🤣

g2go now..nyc chatting wid u..tc..😆😆

bye praty take care😉

Originally posted by: pragalbha

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">princess, Cynthia, GP00, Kornofuli - Thank you for responding 😊</font>

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<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Now getting to some of the points you made.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Cynthia: While technically Abha and Karan were married, Abha did not recognize the marriage till she was in the hospital. That was the turning point for her and from then on Karan became the most important person in her life. I do not agree that she thinks her family is more important than Karan. Nothing in Friday's episode makes me believe this..............if nothing else they came across absolutely and completely in love with each other.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">GP00: I understand what you are saying, I do......... but let me just say this.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Daadi was the one who first told Abha that both sides of the family had agreed for their wedding...............do you remember how elated she was when she was converying this to Karan? Then she reaches home and finds out that her Dad was never on board. She is shocked and disappointed and tells her dad that she needs his aashirvaad before she can move forward. Her father refuses and her mother convinces her that Thakur will come around.</font>

<div><font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">So Abha did make attempts to get her father's aashirvaad even then. I suspect Abha did not realize how low her father could go. You know sometimes when we want something so bad, we become real optimistic. Our mind plays games with us and weconvince ourselves that everythingis/will be positive. I could almost see Abha in thatstate of mind at that point before the wedding.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Coming to Jagmohan, Abha NEVER had a clue what Jagmohan was planning to do. In fact nobody knew...............that came as a complete shock to her and right at the time of the muhurat.That was too late in the game to do anything and I am sure that the fact that she wanted to get married to Karan prevented her from doing anything.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">I do not agree that the meaning of new life starts and ends with the suhaag raat. She HAS started a new life with Karan and that is why she is in the store room with him in the first place!</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">As you say they they looked blissful inspite of all that transpired just before which proves to me that she is in with this relationship with Karan, but obviously she needs some time.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">And mind you she did not say 'I want Aashirwaad from my father'..........she said 'I want acceptance from our families'.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">She wants acceptance from both sides not just her father........that clearly tells me she is not hung over her dad.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">I think shethoughtthat it was more important to become Karan's lifetime companionthan getting intimate with him on the day of the wedding and that is why she chose to marry him despite her dad's opposition.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Now shewants to wait for both families acceptance before consummating.........I don't agree with her completely here but I can understand where she is coming from.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">I do believe that she can work the kinks out even after starting the relationhip with Karan in every sense of the word. But that is whatWE think, not her.</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Maybe she is treating this as a penance? Because she and Karan both realized that their actions have hurt their families, they want to 'fix' things before they enjoy wedded life? Is that too much to ask? </font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">And from their perspective they seem to think that they will be able to set everything in order very soon. But we know otherwise...........😆</font>

<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Kornofuli: I agree that some of her actions before the wedding were getting on my nerves too but after she chose Karan above the stupidity of her father, I was willing to forgive her and look the other way 😃</font>

Totally agree with you ... this is what i was trying to say in the other topic abt this...but my english failed on that :)

Originally posted by: pragalbha

princess, Cynthia, GP00, Kornofuli - Thank you for responding 😊 Now getting to some of the points you made.

Cynthia: While technically Abha and Karan were married, Abha did not recognize the marriage till she was in the hospital. That was the turning point for her and from then on Karan became the most important person in her life. I do not agree that she thinks her family is more important than Karan. Nothing in Friday's episode makes me believe this..............if nothing else they came across absolutely and completely in love with each other.

GP00: I understand what you are saying, I do......... but let me just say this.

Daadi was the one who first told Abha that both sides of the family had agreed for their wedding...............do you remember how elated she was when she was conveying this to Karan?

Then she reaches home and finds out that her Dad was never on board. She is shocked and disappointed and tells her dad that she needs his aashirvaad before she can move forward. Her father refuses and her mother convinces her that Thakur will come around.

So Abha did make attempts to get her father's aashirvaad even then. I suspect Abha did not realize how low her father could go. You know sometimes when we want something so bad, we become real optimistic. Our mind plays games with us and we convince ourselves that everything is/will be positive. I could almost see Abha in that state of mind at that point before the wedding.

Coming to Jagmohan, Abha NEVER had a clue what Jagmohan was planning to do. In fact nobody knew...............that came as a complete shock to her and right at the time of the muhurat. That was too late in the game to do anything and I am sure that the fact that she wanted to marry Karan prevented her from doing anything.

I do not agree that the meaning of new life starts and ends with the suhaag raat. She HAS started a new life with Karan and that is why she is in the store room with him in the first place!

As you say they looked blissful inspite of all that transpired just before, which proves to me that she is in with this relationship with Karan, but obviously she needs some time.

And mind you she did not say 'I want Aashirwaad from my father'..........she said 'I want acceptance from our families'.

She wants acceptance from both sides not just her father........that clearly tells me she is not hung over her dad.

I think she thought that it was more important to become Karan's lifetime companion than getting intimate with him on the day of the wedding and that is why she chose to marry him despite her dad's opposition.

Now she wants to wait for both families acceptance before consummating.........I don't agree with her completely here but I can understand where she is coming from.

I do believe that she can work the kinks out even after starting the relationhip with Karan in every sense of the word. But that is what WE think, not her.

Maybe she is treating this as a penance? Because she and Karan both realized that their actions have hurt their families, they want to 'fix' things before they enjoy wedded life? Is that too much to ask?

And from their perspective they seem to think that they will be able to set everything in order very soon. But we know otherwise...........😆

Kornofuli: I agree that some of her actions before the wedding were getting on my nerves too but after she chose Karan over her father's stupidity, I was willing to forgive her and look the other way 😃

Originally posted by: cyrine

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<font color="#006600" size="3">I totally agree with you on this, she needs acceptance from their respective families and she is not totally wrong here, and then again the most importatnt thing for her and Karan was to get married and as a couple solve their familie problems and for that they dont need to be intimate with eachother and then we have think that this is a serial and the suhaagraat has NEVER EVER happende in the night of the wedding so I was not expecting anything I was ready for this.....</font>

Perhaps, this is where my break is. I cannot bring myself to accept that when I get married, my job is to bring the families together, to solve their problems...just like I don't need to solve world crises or my neighbors' problems when I get married. Marriage is a start of a new relationship--FIRST and FOREMOST for the two people, as they will have to live and support each other until one of them drops dead. They do have a SECONDARY responsibility to bring families together, solve great and small family problems but ONLY if the families can be reasoned with. Otherwise, it is a royal waste of time and life resources.

I think our different perspectives on marriage shapes our acceptance or not of Abha's actions, and these perspectives are shaped by how we are raised--not just by our parents, but by the culture and society, education, temperment, intellectual pursuits, among other things. Hence, I think we will always have a divide, which we are all respecting.

It has been said before that it is NOT suhaag raat per se that has created my and others' annoyance with Abha. It is that, as soon as the pandit is done, the first thing she thinks about is getting the families together for Diwali, of erasing animosity that has survived DECADES, by what???That is Abha's new pasttime. Her new goal in life. Being a good daughter in law, a good daughter??? What if one means not being the other? Look as much as we love our families, it's probably a good idea to accept the fact that much of your happiness or unhappiness will come from your spouse. And once you get married, you should start living and enjoying and thinking about each other and your future. Abha, unfortunately, cannot bring herself to think about her future with Karan until she gets the stamp of approval. So until the fathers kiss each other and become best buds, Abha will tell Karan, her wedded husband, to keep his hands off of her and not get close. I'm sorry, but this does not make sense...It just doesn't! I'm trying real hard, but it's escaping me. You may disagree, but she is HOLDING OFF part of her married life for approval.

Originally posted by: gp00

Perhaps, this is where my break is. I cannot bring myself to accept that when I get married, my job is to bring the families together, to solve their problems...just like I don't need to solve world crises or my neighbors' problems when I get married. Marriage is a start of a new relationship--FIRST and FOREMOST for the two people, as they will have to live and support each other until one of them drops dead. They do have a SECONDARY responsibility to bring families together, solve great and small family problems but ONLY if the families can be reasoned with. Otherwise, it is a royal waste of time and life resources.

I think our different perspectives on marriage shapes our acceptance or not of Abha's actions, and these perspectives are shaped by how we are raised--not just by our parents, but by the culture and society, education, temperment, intellectual pursuits, among other things. Hence, I think we will always have a divide, which we are all respecting.

It has been said before that it is NOT suhaag raat per se that has created my and others' annoyance with Abha. It is that, as soon as the pandit is done, the first thing she thinks about is getting the families together for Diwali, of erasing animosity that has survived DECADES, by what???That is Abha's new pasttime. Her new goal in life. Being a good daughter in law, a good daughter??? What if one means not being the other? Look as much as we love our families, it's probably a good idea to accept the fact that much of your happiness or unhappiness will come from your spouse. And once you get married, you should start living and enjoying and thinking about each other and your future. Abha, unfortunately, cannot bring herself to think about her future with Karan until she gets the stamp of approval. So until the fathers kiss each other and become best buds, Abha will tell Karan, her wedded husband, to keep his hands off of her and not get close. I'm sorry, but this does not make sense...It just doesn't! I'm trying real hard, but it's escaping me. You may disagree, but she is HOLDING OFF part of her married life for approval.

i am agree with u each and every word 👏 my only question to this idot girl where is her saatphere promises which she has been made ...😕........ patike har icha meri icha hogi.. hello...r u fulfill those promises? A BIG NO...i hate her day by day ..😡

Originally posted by: gp00

Perhaps, this is where my break is. I cannot bring myself to accept that when I get married, my job is to bring the families together, to solve their problems...just like I don't need to solve world crises or my neighbors' problems when I get married. Marriage is a start of a new relationship--FIRST and FOREMOST for the two people, as they will have to live and support each other until one of them drops dead. They do have a SECONDARY responsibility to bring families together, solve great and small family problems but ONLY if the families can be reasoned with. Otherwise, it is a royal waste of time and life resources.

I think our different perspectives on marriage shapes our acceptance or not of Abha's actions, and these perspectives are shaped by how we are raised--not just by our parents, but by the culture and society, education, temperment, intellectual pursuits, among other things. Hence, I think we will always have a divide, which we are all respecting.

It has been said before that it is NOT suhaag raat per se that has created my and others' annoyance with Abha. It is that, as soon as the pandit is done, the first thing she thinks about is getting the families together for Diwali, of erasing animosity that has survived DECADES, by what???That is Abha's new pasttime. Her new goal in life. Being a good daughter in law, a good daughter??? What if one means not being the other? Look as much as we love our families, it's probably a good idea to accept the fact that much of your happiness or unhappiness will come from your spouse. And once you get married, you should start living and enjoying and thinking about each other and your future. Abha, unfortunately, cannot bring herself to think about her future with Karan until she gets the stamp of approval. So until the fathers kiss each other and become best buds, Abha will tell Karan, her wedded husband, to keep his hands off of her and not get close. I'm sorry, but this does not make sense...It just doesn't! I'm trying real hard, but it's escaping me. You may disagree, but she is HOLDING OFF part of her married life for approval.[/B]

GP, Pragalbha, I agree with most of the points that you guys make - yes, family is important, yes uniting the families and making them accept Karan & Abha's union is important (as that is important to both of them). And yes not hurting your parents is important and rebuilding the relation with the parents is important. And, the marriage being a fest of humiliations and retaliations does not help one start a new life with happiness. Agreed with all that. But after all that mess, any person would want to take a breather and focus on enjoying the fruits of the hard achieved gains before embarking to solve the next crisis?

And my main point is that whether you consider traditional upbringing or non-traditional upbringing, once you are married, the relation between husband and wife is the most important relation for both the partners. And in my opinion SR is a basic part of marriage - like eating or sleeping, definitely not the only part but an important part. If that relation is not strong, nothing else makes sense. Now let's suppose Abha and Karan don't care for each other - what difference does it make whether the two fathers are at each other's throats or smoking the same hookah?

Letting the world or family come into the marriage is inviting disaster. SR does not have to be on the wedding day itself considering all that they had to go thru, but I still don't get Abha's point of waiting indefinitely. I don't understand why her main goal of uniting the families has to be brought into this part of their relationship. To me they are mutually exclusive - you can have both. Somebody needs to remind Abha ( more importantly the writers) that ABHA AIN'T JODHAA!

The most annoying part for me in this case is that Abha knows Karan is willing to go to any lengths for her but getting her to do anything for Karan requires thunderbolts to whip her into action - and that lasts only a few seconds!

Originally posted by: silcop

To me they are mutually exclusive - you can have both. Somebody needs to remind Abha ( more importantly the writers) that ABHA AIN'T JODHAA!

The most annoying part for me in this case is that Abha knows Karan is willing to go to any lengths for her but getting her to do anything for Karan requires thunderbolts to whip her into action - and that lasts only a few seconds!

Dear silcop,

It does not require thunderbolts...it requires that buffoon Thakur's approval! 😆

And, there is no way Akbar would have accepted a "no" anyway.....the real one, not the Hrithik one 😃