Is Abha really wrong??

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pragalbha

@pragalbha

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

People............I think we are just bashing Abha's character a bit too much!

I understand the frustration, I feel it too but I can also see the validation behind Abha's request.

Can you imagine getting married in a tension filled atmostphere a few hours ago and then the people closest to you showering you with the choicest of curses. You get to your new home and on every step people are insulting you, calling you names, resting allegations on you and literally treating you worse then a servant. What would that person's mental state be? I don't think it will be.............chuck all these people, I don't care what they say to me, what they say about me.........I don't care if I have to live in a store room, I don't care if the future looks really bleak, I am going to have some fun tonight, I am going to get physically intimate and forget all the problems...................I mean come on!

Physical intimay requires a certain amount of mental balance. With these many issues and tensions in her mind how can we expect her to behave like nothing has happened and everything is hunky -dory?

I know it is disappointing to see Karan and Abha staying away from each other but not all people are alike. While some will think the way to move forward is to start a new life, a new relationship, others need closure from the past before they can move forward and obviously Abha belongs to the second type.

Is that unfair to Karan? Sure, yes. But is Abha being sadistic? Definitely not.

Also from their conversations, Abha probably feels that between her and Karan they will be able to convince their families soon enough...........but I think that is the major faux pas. Abha has misunderstood completely the depth of hatred her dad shares with Jagmohan and vice versa. She is going to be very unpleasantly shocked to find out how difficult this task will be.

I just want us to think through Abha's psyche.

Edited by pragalbha - 15 years ago

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ReadLo

@ReadLo

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

I find it insensitive, but in a sadistic way.
I agree with your point of view.
I try to put myself in his place but I can not from what I see life differently.
One thing we know is that long Abha was already married but he had a public marriage so that "everybody" to recognize marriage.
But the priority of Abha is his father and his family and not Karan is on this point I do not agree.
But what you say is true😉

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gp00

@gp00

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: pragalbha
People............I think we are just bashing Abha's character a bit too much!
</div>
I understand the frustration, I feel it too but I can also see the validation behind Abha's request.

Can you imagine getting married in a tension filled atmostphere a few hours ago and then the people closest to you showering with the choicest of curses. You get to your new home and on every step people are insulting you, calling you names, resting allegations on you and literally treating you worse then a servant. What would that person's mental state be? I don't think it will be.............chuck all these people, I don't care what they say to me, what they say about me.........I don't care if I have to livein a store room, I don't care ifthe future looks really bleak, I am going to have some fun tonight, I am going to get physically intimate andforget all the problems...................I meancome on!

Physical intimay requires a certain amount of mental balance. With these many issues and tensions in her mind how can we expect her to behave like nothing has happened and everything is hunky -dory?

I know it is disappointing to see Karan and Abha staying away from each other but not all people are alike. While some will think the way to move forward is tostart a new life, a new relationship, others need closure from the past before they can move forward and obviously Abha belongs to the second type.

Is that unfair to Karan.? Sure, yes but is Abha being sadistic? Defnitely not.

Alsofrom their conversations,Abha probably feels that between her and Karan they will be able to convince their families soon enough...........but I think that isthe major faux pas. Abha has misunderstood completely the depth of hatred her dad shares with Jagmohan. She is going to be very unplesantly shocked to find out how difficult this task will be.

<div>

I just want us to think through Abha's psyche.

Hi Praghalba, What you say is definitely valid. You mention Abha is roughly traumatized by her wedding, though I question what she was expecting...that she was not mature enough for relations. I myself feel she is not mature enough for marriage. Because the people who insulted you at the wedding are the ones who insulted and opposed you before the wedding. Nothing new. Yet, she CHOSE her love for Karan and a marriage to Karan. So, quite frankly, I'm not sure what her problem is. Is she so traumatized by her wedding, that she forgot why she got married in the first place...to begin a new life with Karan as his wife...and then to work out the families' problems with each other? This is where, Praghalba, I am stuck and can't think past. Quite frankly, Abha looked happy even in the dusty room, because she was with Karan. Mind you, she almost got involved with Karan before, until that bed broke. I think perhaps I expected Abha to focus on having just wed Karan and being together...vs. thinking about her family. I think this expectation of mine is very, very reasonable. I mean, if she has such a problem with not having ashirvaad, then why did she marry, why did come to SB with Karan? Shouldn't she have waited to start her new life once she got her ashirvaad?
So my perspective is that Abha IS wrong....And remember, she didn't say she could not do it because she was upset at the families' conduct. She said she did not want to get close UNTIL the families made up. How does that make any sense? What kind of crazy condition is that? It's not like suhaag raat is a spectator sport, Abha! There is no family participation! She should have instead said to herself: Let us NOT get married UNTIL our families have resolved their problems. It's a stupid thing to put before Karan...the guy must have been flabbergasted....WHAT did I marry? 😡

Edited by gp00 - 15 years ago

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Kinu

@kinu17

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: gp00
Hi Praghalba, What you say is definitely valid. You mention Abha is roughly traumatized by her wedding, though I question what she was expecting...that she was not mature enough for relations. I myself feel she is not mature enough for marriage. Because the people who insulted you at the wedding are the ones who insulted and opposed you before the wedding. Nothing new. Yet, she CHOSE her love for Karan and a marriage to Karan. So, quite frankly, I'm not sure what her problem is. Is she so traumatized by her wedding, that she forgot why she got married in the first place...to begin a new life with Karan as his wife...and then to work out the families' problems with each other? This is where, Praghalba, I am stuck and can't think past. Quite frankly, Abha looked happy even in the dusty room, because she was with Karan. Mind you, she almost got involved with Karan before, until that bed broke. I think perhaps I expected Abha to focus on having just wed Karan and being together...vs. thinking about her family. I think this expectation of mine is very, very reasonable. I mean, if she has such a problem with not having ashirvaad, then why did she marry, why did come to SB with Karan? Shouldn't she have waited to start her new life once she got her ashirvaad?
So my perspective is that Abha IS wrong....And remember, she didn't say she could not do it because she was upset at the families' conduct. She said she did not want to get close UNTIL the families made up. How does that make any sense? What kind of crazy condition is that? It's not like suhaag raat is a spectator sport, Abha! There is no family participation! She should have instead said to herself: Let us NOT get married UNTIL our families have resolved their problems. It's a stupid thing to put before Karan...the guy must have been flabbergasted....WHAT did I marry? 😡

that stupid girl always wrong ...sometimes i wonder why do karan even love her😕? she sometimes prove that she is the daughter of nasty stubborn thakur... when she was use to be act like gungi b4 marrige i think she was ok bcoz she didnt talk.. first time she has spoken and has made karan live miserable on suhaag raat.and make me 😡 too, kaske thapper lagana chayiye😡 she is getting my nerves believe me guys ...bechara karan😭 she could have been asked something else not this stupid promise😡

Edited by kornofuli - 15 years ago

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pragalbha

@pragalbha

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

princess, Cynthia, GP00, Kornofuli - Thank you for responding 😊 Now getting to some of the points you made.

Cynthia: While technically Abha and Karan were married, Abha did not recognize the marriage till she was in the hospital. That was the turning point for her and from then on Karan became the most important person in her life. I do not agree that she thinks her family is more important than Karan. Nothing in Friday's episode makes me believe this..............if nothing else they came across absolutely and completely in love with each other.

GP00: I understand what you are saying, I do......... but let me just say this.

Daadi was the one who first told Abha that both sides of the family had agreed for their wedding...............do you remember how elated she was when she was conveying this to Karan?

Then she reaches home and finds out that her Dad was never on board. She is shocked and disappointed and tells her dad that she needs his aashirvaad before she can move forward. Her father refuses and her mother convinces her that Thakur will come around.

So Abha did make attempts to get her father's aashirvaad even then. I suspect Abha did not realize how low her father could go. You know sometimes when we want something so bad, we become real optimistic. Our mind plays games with us and we convince ourselves that everything is/will be positive. I could almost see Abha in that state of mind at that point before the wedding.

Coming to Jagmohan, Abha NEVER had a clue what Jagmohan was planning to do. In fact nobody knew...............that came as a complete shock to her and right at the time of the muhurat. That was too late in the game to do anything and I am sure that the fact that she wanted to marry Karan prevented her from doing anything.

I do not agree that the meaning of new life starts and ends with the suhaag raat. She HAS started a new life with Karan and that is why she is in the store room with him in the first place!

As you say they looked blissful inspite of all that transpired just before, which proves to me that she is in with this relationship with Karan, but obviously she needs some time.

And mind you she did not say 'I want Aashirwaad from my father'..........she said 'I want acceptance from our families'.

She wants acceptance from both sides not just her father........that clearly tells me she is not hung over her dad.

I think she thought that it was more important to become Karan's lifetime companion than getting intimate with him on the day of the wedding and that is why she chose to marry him despite her dad's opposition.

Now she wants to wait for both families acceptance before consummating.........I don't agree with her completely here but I can understand where she is coming from.

I do believe that she can work the kinks out even after starting the relationhip with Karan in every sense of the word. But that is what WE think, not her.

Maybe she is treating this as a penance? Because she and Karan both realized that their actions have hurt their families, they want to 'fix' things before they enjoy wedded life? Is that too much to ask?

And from their perspective they seem to think that they will be able to set everything in order very soon. But we know otherwise...........😆

Kornofuli: I agree that some of her actions before the wedding were getting on my nerves too but after she chose Karan over her father's stupidity, I was willing to forgive her and look the other way 😃

Edited by pragalbha - 15 years ago

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pratibha singh

@pratsy

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

i agree wid u guyz..abha is not wrong...she is jst behaving lyk a typical bahu..shez tryng 2 unite her family..😃her intentions r not wrong

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ReadLo

@ReadLo

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

pragalbha, I totally agree with you

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pratibha singh

@pratsy

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: Pattinson6
pragalbha, I totally agree with you

sweety..u wanna say pagal abha na..😉

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ReadLo

@ReadLo

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: pRaTiBhA.1990
sweety..u wanna say pagal abha na..😉

Yes this is true queen SwanAbha irritating, I would hate it but at the same time we must try to understand

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pratibha singh

@pratsy

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Pattinson6
Yes this is true queen SwanAbha irritating, I would hate it but at the same time we must try to understand

yaah..actully..i dnt think we shud hate her....she loves her husband..n physical intimacy is not so important..d best thing is dat she loved karan alot😆

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