1. IDENTITY
Ravi's advise was good to listen but to apply it seemed impossible.
"LET GO. BE LIBERATED"
Sounded preachy.
"You aren't convinced. Isn't it?", he asked me.
" Am not"
"Try it once. You may understand what am telling you", he said as he dropped me home.
" Bye", I waved him goodbye.
I guess he was the only one who I had from my childhood.
I was too introvert to make any friends. He was too outgoing to not make any friends. We were poles apart.
Ravi knew that part of me that I always hid from others. His eyes were like the X-Ray which pierced deep and saw what they needed.
Being born and brought up in a middle class family always posed a challenge in terms of something called as "social status". I wondered if this was always the fate of a middle class person.
What was this class and who had made this term viral? God knows!
Unfortunately I was never into materials. I never liked the luxuries rather was never used to it. I suppose that was the primary reason that people found me weird.
I am ambitious but not greedy. A deep thought for a youngster like me I suppose. But being the youngest of the family had its own pros and cons.
I am very dependent on my family. My parents had me after fighting hell lot of complications.
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It was the winter of 1993 when a batch of doctors rushed to my mumma's rescue. They were 10 of them my grandmother recalled.
My mom was fond of eating banana with milk and the craving definitely cost us more than expected. Mumma's blood pressure had shot up and was rushed to the hospital in no time.
The place was different. It wasn't our hometown. My dad was transferred to a new place at intervals. Government job always had been like this.
New place, new surroundings and a new life.
I was successfully saved from the clutches of Satan. I was born premature. But my mumma was diagnosed with jaundice.
I was kept in a glass box for a month. I was too weak I guess. They had given me injections in the spine as my hands were too thin and weak to tolerate the high doses.
I weighed around 1.5 kgs. Well its nothing to be proud of as one one would say.
"Your brother was of 10 Rs and you were of Rs. 1 lacs.", my father would always say jokingly.
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I was always showered with special attention owing to the difficulties I had faced at the time of my birth.
My brother is too elder to me. Well its a difference of 9 years. We fight just like normal siblings do. We'll beat and hit each other. But my father never allowed my brother to hit me much.
" She's born weak. You be careful", he would always warn my brother.
I guess it was always a brownie point for me. But my mother never allowed me to be over smart in front of my brother. I would take advantage of the warnings given to him. But my mother always made it a point to take hold of me.
I was expectedly unpredictable everywhere. My moods were always to the extreme and the swings were so often that even my family found it difficult to cope with.
I stand true to this aspect even today. Unlike others am pretty unapologetic about it.
"Who cares?"
Is my first reaction.
And its true. We tend to mould ourselves the way our society wants. On the contrary no one really cares. In fact they cherish the fact that their opinion was given undue importance over everything.
~~~They'll first lure you. Then they'll praise you. And when you hold their hand, they'll lead you to the pit. When you fall they'll bury you deep."~~~ : LET GO
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