New Member - Written a Poem..Need Feedback

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gohem123

@gohem123

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Hello Friends,

I have been a constant silent follower of this forum but i never understand how to open a new topic here without writing any story or poem...So here it is.. 😊

I have written a small poem..I don't understand the poetic style or language..So i need your feedback to improve myself...Hope you will all like it and appreciate it...

Do criticize and comment...

Everyone is busy, running here and there

Without knowing their dears and nears

Living in their self made cocoons

Lost in hustles of life...

No one cares, no one stares

Up they went through this tussle

Leaving the whispers of

Loved ones far behind...

Alone on deathbed

One realize

How much they lose

But wasn't it too late

As they have all gone into dark?

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gohem123

@gohem123

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

27 views no replies 😭 😭

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Strikhedonia

@Strikhedonia

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Awesome poem dear!👏👏👏

Start writing more!😃

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chinudolly

@chinudolly

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: gohem123
27 views no replies 😭 😭

sorry dear 4 late reply,

pls dont cry n dont get disheartened 😕

i just read ur poem , its really nice dear ,

since its ur first attempt , so according 2 that its great poem ,👏👏👏

⭐️ its so heart touching ,

and so true , every one is so busy that forget their lovedones and dont value d precious time of life ... they just waste it running here n there but when they lose life then they realize d importance of life n love but time has passed away and it cant be back again 😭

so true , and everyone should realize d imp of life and spread love n happiness everywhere 😊

Edited by chinudolly - 11 years ago