Valentine's(FEELINGS BEHIND A PSHYCH MIND) - Page 6

Originally posted by: mrmrfrevr

The Night before the Valentine's Day

Sadness and Anger when comes hand on hand it causes havoc destruction. It works without any logic and philosophy. Specially for whom who always longs for love, affection and care and always wants to keep his/her beloved one with him/her at any cost. He/she doesn't care what is right or what is wrong. The only thing he/she does care is to keep his/her beloved one with him/her by breaking every barriers and boundaries. He/she doesn't see how much he/she gets hurt by that act and he/she doesn't want to see how much his/her beloved one gets hurt by this act. Because in his/her view whatever he/she does is for his/her beloved one's sake, for his/her beloved one's own good.

Every time I want you'.

Every second I miss you,

Every minute I need you,

Every hour I care for you.

All I need to be with you.

My feelings and emotions are captured by you.

My state is now just like dead body,

Whose soul is in your fist.

If I die that is only for you.

And if I love that is only with you.

You are as powerful as God'..Princess'

Because my everything from now belongs to you.

"Hey buddy you should be a pathetic poet rather than a player." A teasing voice whispered in Neel's ear. He shockingly lifted his head and found nothing anywhere.

"Oh buddy'..I am your ego, I am always with you. And I make you what you are today-Neelabjo Mitra, the toughest player and a brilliant software engineer, with my motivation. You are capable enough to do anything and everything." His ego smiled.

"Yeah, but how can I get Apu back? Don't you listen what she say?" he asked in heavy and wet voice. And a scene flashed on his eyes again''.

"What? Champ are you mad?" after his confession of love Aparna got up pushing him back hardly. Her eyes had something which indicated that she was shocked and disturbed at a time by Neel's words. Her voice became heavy with anger and she yelled "what's wrong with you? I thought you are trying to say 'I love you' to your beloved ones."

"I said 'I love you' to my beloved ones Apu. You are the girl to whom I love the most. Is this too hard to understand for you Princess." He asked in deep, fascinating voice. "And whenever you get angry, you looks more beautiful." He smilingly complimented her.

"Listen Neel'..I guess you mistake'we are best friend right. I never saw you in that way." Aparna tried to explain him but stopped by him.

"Oh God! Why don't you understand? You said it so many times since our childhood that you love me, you really care for me and you trust me more than you. And the most importantly you understand me completely. So now say where I am wrong? If we give our relationship a name with our marriage how can I be wrong?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes I do love you, I really do care for you. And you will be with me forever as my bestest friend. I trust you more than me because I know every time whenever I need you, you unconditionally support me. But'.this is love but not that kind of love I want. I mean'." She paused for a breath. A long silence covered and made heavy the entire environment of the room.

"You mean what Apu?" finally the silence was broken by Neel's indifferent voice. His voice was too cold and emotionless to imagine. That made Aparna scared. She tried to console him by saying "ah Champ'I guess you are tired. Why don't you go and fresh yourself? Till then I will make some hot coffee for you." She gave a stern smile to leave that place. But she was again stopped by Neel.

"Aparna Sinhania, please tell me in your view what is love? And which kind of love do you expect from me?" he asked her so rudely that her tears came out from her eyes without her knowledge. But before she could say anything Neel continued with his, "do you remember you used to cook for me from our childhood. Your mother and my aunt used to taunt both of us and called us child husband-wife. Where I protested you stayed quiet reddening your face. I guess that is not that kind of love you want. Or often you crashed into my rooms, arranged and adjusted my every stuff as you wish after my forbid or you used to nurse me if I got hurt during my practices or matches that were you did to pass your spare time right'."

"No it's not like that" she pleaded but again stopped " Let me finished Aparna. Today I have to know what was that? When you used to discuss about your co-curricular activities with me, when you asked my help for your functions and I also agreed to do that what was that? Why you do so much care whenever you find my cell busy or off? Why you don't leave me alone? Why do you decorate this cottage for me? Why the hell you come into my life? To show your pity on this orphan boy??? Why?" he shouted at Aparna. Seeing him so enraged she became scared and tried to pacify him again, "Champ'.not at all. I didn't ever think to show you pity. I really love you from the core of my heart. I guess I will never be able to care, trust or respect anybody like this what I really have for you. You are my everything. You are my best friend."

"Yeah I am your best friend. Yes you are right. How dare I think to advance so far? I am an pathetic idiot." He threw his right fist on a glass table and it was broken creating lots of noise. And his fingers were cut and started bleeding vigorously. But he didn't care about that and left that room. In the meantime Aparna got a phone call which she couldn't ignore so she picked that up and moved to another room for talking.

After half an hour she came to the balcony where Neel was standing. The balcony was dark and silent so she put on the lights. Neel raised his hand to forbid her then she discovered that his right hand's fingers were still bleeding. She rushed into the room to bring the first-aid kit and returned as fast as she could. She started dressing to his wounds but he pushed her back and moved from there. "Sorry Aparna Sinhania, I am too tired to bear your nursing, you know that I feel no pain if I get wounded or hurt. So stop doing this. And go from here." He clearly and slowly said. "Champ you misjudge me. And you don't want to listen me" she complained.

"Okay" he looked straight at her eyes "then say what you want to." He asked her.

''Actually Neel I and '..Actually we are dating from last one month." She said shyly what made him more jealous. "He is so caring and gentle. He used to come at our institute to meet one of our professor and we both'.." she couldn't complete herself due to her shyness.

"Yeah'may be he is that one( he pointing his finger to a shadow) who stands near his BMW 7 series wearing Black suit, Right? So how long do you see each other?" he asked bitterly.

"Told you na we are seeing each other since one month'.he will propose me'he want to do it earlier but I stop him as you were not here with me'.." she replied seeing at the floor.

"Well I don't have such a big and generous heart where I can approve my Love to go with someone else so close this topic and leave from here at once." He said in coarse voice and he himself walked away from the balcony and entered to dinning-hall. At the corner of dinning and kitchen area there was a huge fridge. He opened that making a great noise to bring some ice cube out from there. He tried to pick an ice cube from the tray but the cubes were fixed in the tray tightly. So he picked a knife from the cutlery and dug it into the tray and finally a slab of ice came out. But due to this process his left hand too got wounded by that knife. Now his both hands were bleeding but he didn't care about that.

Aparna was following him through- out his way but as he moved very fast she couldn't match with him. So when she came to the dinning-hall she found him digging the ice-tray and his both hand were bleeding. She ran towards him at once and snatched the knife and ice-tray from him and applied the ice on his wounds. She was weeping silently but her Champ somehow found that. As he didn't bear to see her crying he said her politely, " Aparna''.I didn't understand you'.only love you blindly. I don't know what you exactly feel for me. But now I want to say something to you." He paused as she lifted her face at him. "I know whatever you have done is uncountable and I never pay back you. I don't know when you did all that stuffs for me whether that was your pity or your care,love etc. for me. But right now your concern makes me weak and compels me to think about you. But I need to calm down as I have an important match the day after tomorrow. I will move from here tonight. So it will be better if you leave this place now. And one more thing I don't believe to keep broken things with me. And after today I see no reason of your to stay with me. So leave me."

Aparna tried to say " but Neel'.can't we be friend?"

"No'after today not at all. Just go." He left the dinning- hall and entered into his bedroom and locked the door from there.

Originally posted by: mrmrfrevr

Some shady and grey thoughts

If people let the things go then maybe they couldn't achieve anything in their life. If a striker let the ball clear by the defender he couldn't score a single goal. If a business tycoon let the opportunity go and scare from the risk he couldn't be successful in his life'.everybody has to hold the thing strongly and don't let it go easily.

But in Neel's case there was little difference. Form his childhood he had neither his parents' care, affection and care nor his family's warm support. His aunt was his world. But beside his aunt there was only an emptiness which gave him lots of pain and sadness. When the other boys of his age enjoyed holidays and vacations with their parents he had no one to whom he could demand or cry for. Though his aunt always tried to give whatever he needed and wanted that was not sufficient for him. He had very strong feelings and emotions which was very rare for a boy of his age. Soon anger was added in his sadness and pain which made strong his feelings and emotions. As he grew up his strong feelings and emotions turned into his passion. And to whom and what he was passionate he left no stone unturned to do anything for them. And from his childhood Aparna was his only friend who truly cared for him and never judged him. She trusted him blindly so automatically she became the only special person in his life. She became his priority more than his aunt. So he couldn't let her go from his life. Whatever he was all credits went to his Love Aparna only.

awww

Within his mind his ego and super ego started fighting over the issue of gettin his Apu back. One side his super ego or conscience suggested him to let her go with whom she wanted. And his ego or head said a no to his conscience. And his poor heart this time desperately wanted to go with his head.

Neel's head: I want Apu at any cost. If she will be not mine I will not let her be with another one.

Neel's conscience: You don't want to see the truth. She doesn't love you.

Neel's head: Yeah'.she said I am just her friend. Sorry her best friend.

Neel's conscience: Neel you are angry and sad now. And these two are going to kill you if you let them to control you.

Neel's head: These two made me what I am today. Behind my every success may be as rugby player or footballer, may be as software engineer, or may be as being her admirer of her every act'

Neel's conscience: Neel you mistake. Whatever you are today is only because of your talent, intelligence and hard work. Not for your anger and sadness.

Neel's head: oh really do you disagree that whatever I am today is due to my passion. And my passion comes from my sadness and anger'that is my passion which lead me to not to let go anything. I have lost my family, my parents in my childhood. My aunt is everything but she herself told me to find a bride for me. And I know only Aparna who can keep me good. And she is the main reason of my every success till now. Actually she is my passion.

Neel' conscience: Listen you are not in your sense. Yes whatever you are today is because of your passion. And behind of your every step she always supported you. So you can call her your true friend but passion??

Neel's head: After knowing that she is my love yes I am passionate to get her in my life by anyhow. And now she is my passion. I will get her''I will get her by hook or by crook this time'.But I can't let her go. I will get her back. I will win her for me.

I wanna be with you...or not then I kill you.

I want everything otherwise nothing.

I only want you either or nothing.

You are mine...or else you are not yours.

Neel's conscience: Neel please try to understand she is not a mere game of your Rugby, Football or your Karate or Mixed Martial Arts match that you will win her. Or she is not a trophy or medal that you will capture. She is a human.

Neel's head: I know. And I will not do anything to harm her by anyway but I will make her mine''

Justice is done

Judgement is made.

She is satisfied ...

But nobody listen me...

Nobody ask me...

How am I?

May be I am a bad mad dog...

Who need to be shot down.'

But still only I have feelings what is the ultimate truth.

Dear either I will die for you or I will live only with you.

And for this I have no ruth.

Neel's conscience: Neel'.Neel'.what are you saying?''Neel, don't let your anger and sadness control you. Neel'N E E L'.

His conscience was buried under his head's decision and his heart supported him in this. He had completed his packing already and finally he set his journey. He got into his car. He had 3 rugby matches back to back and as captain he must have reached to the venue before other players' reached.

The musical note of his cell phone finally broke his sleep. Neel opened his eyes and found him lying on the couch. After his children had gone to sleep to the upstairs he slept on the couch pondering about his past. He picked the call and came to know that something emergency was happened. He needed to attend an early morning meeting at 7:00am with a CMD of some group of companies.

He looked at his wrist watch and found it was already 3:30 at morning. So he stood up and walked towards the bathroom.

She changed'.

"Don't know what I want from me? Don't know why I am so enraged? But on whom? People call me heartless, all brain emotion and feeling less robot in a human body. Human Body?? It's actually a dead body'..only it is alive because of rhythmic function of heart and brain and their co ordinations'otherwise my soul which gives life was killed long ago''"

"Ma'm your Coffee'..would you like to add some sugar??" her secretary asked.

"Are you new here?" she asked smilingly but that smile didn't reflect her pleasure to meet a new employee. It was full with disgust and anger.

"Yes Ma'm''actually I was'.." He was stopped as she had interrupted in between his explanation''"No.1 as you are my secretary you have to learn my likes and dislikes.

2. From now you have to be prepared with every information about my each project'..

3. Never dare to break my trust and I don't trust anyone.

4.I don't like coffee." She took a break''As her phone was rung. She picked the call, " Yes Aparna Sinhania speaking'.." she signed to leave her secretary.

Yes people change for their own good, for their beloved ones. Losers become achievers and fortune seekers gain their wealth. But whatever they do they do for their beloved ones'..

But in past 12years Aparna did nothing for her beloved one''whatever she had done in past 12 years only for her own self. And she didn't regret for that. She became the Chair Person and Managing Director of her father's Company- Sinhania Group of Companies'.She achieved a lot what one couldn't imagine. But still she was not fortified. She wanted something different from her own. And becoming CMD, being successful in her various project like- shipping, airlines, transports, automobiles, pharmacy, genetics etc. But apart from those she grew her interest in Software and hardware not because she was an engineer in software and hardware'because she figured that field could be used to serve her purpose. She had taken interest in security system which were mostly based on software and hardware function. The trade which once was disliked by her became her favourite???

She finished her conversation on phone and enquired to her Manager Ms. Dutt " How long?"

"Ma'm we will reach London in next 2 hours'" she answered.

She nodded and signaled her to leave. She peeped from the window of her private jet and saw only white, various shaped clouds which once were very much liked by her. But now nothing could attract her. She kept herself into a shell of steel. Her arrogance and anger were her shield and armour and her intelligence and talent were her weapons. She was on a mission. She was changed.

Originally posted by: mrmrfrevr

She changed'.

"Don't know what I want from me? Don't know why I am so enraged? But on whom? People call me heartless, all brain emotion and feeling less robot in a human body. Human Body?? It's actually a dead body'..only it is alive because of rhythmic function of heart and brain and their co ordinations'otherwise my soul which gives life was killed long ago''"

"Ma'm your Coffee'..would you like to add some sugar??" her secretary asked.

"Are you new here?" she asked smilingly but that smile didn't reflect her pleasure to meet a new employee. It was full with disgust and anger.

"Yes Ma'm''actually I was'.." He was stopped as she had interrupted in between his explanation''"No.1 as you are my secretary you have to learn my likes and dislikes.

2. From now you have to be prepared with every information about my each project'..

3. Never dare to break my trust and I don't trust anyone.

4.I don't like coffee." She took a break''As her phone was rung. She picked the call, " Yes Aparna Sinhania speaking'.." she signed to leave her secretary.

Yes people change for their own good, for their beloved ones. Losers become achievers and fortune seekers gain their wealth. But whatever they do they do for their beloved ones'..

But in past 12years Aparna did nothing for her beloved one''whatever she had done in past 12 years only for her own self. And she didn't regret for that. She became the Chair Person and Managing Director of her father's Company- Sinhania Group of Companies'.She achieved a lot what one couldn't imagine. But still she was not fortified. She wanted something different from her own. And becoming CMD, being successful in her various project like- shipping, airlines, transports, automobiles, pharmacy, genetics etc. But apart from those she grew her interest in Software and hardware not because she was an engineer in software and hardware'because she figured that field could be used to serve her purpose. She had taken interest in security system which were mostly based on software and hardware function. The trade which once was disliked by her became her favourite???

She finished her conversation on phone and enquired to her Manager Ms. Dutt " How long?"

"Ma'm we will reach London in next 2 hours'" she answered.

She nodded and signaled her to leave. She peeped from the window of her private jet and saw only white, various shaped clouds which once were very much liked by her. But now nothing could attract her. She kept herself into a shell of steel. Her arrogance and anger were her shield and armour and her intelligence and talent were her weapons. She was on a mission. She was changed.

Security Reasons-Can't deny

Neel was CEO of his company which had dual identity. Actually that was an intelligence agency'.operated by Inter pole-India Military and Police's intelligence department. They mainly worked on the matter which may create threat for the country and world as well'.they all worked for Govt. of India and Inter pole'.they handled various matters which are related to the interest of their countries and world. And they also co- ordinated with other Govt. and Private intelligence agencies. But currently they were working on Mafia threats. Actually these Mafia's played a useful and compact role in spreading terror in all over the world. This time they have targeted some well -known busy cities like London, New York, California, LA, Chicago, Boston, Washington, Glassgow , Madrid, Paris, New Delhi and Mumbai.

"Why these sons of bitch always target New Delhi and Mumbai?? What the hell do they gain by doing this??" Neel threw his paper weight at the glass door of his cabin. His behavior told how much he enraged. His one of colleague tried to calm him.

"Hey dude they have targeted my city Chicago too. They have also targeted Washington DC'." But he was interrupted as Neel angrily said, "I know Steve. But the fact is you guys are prosperous and advanced from us by many ways. You have well trained and fortified police system. But New Delhi is secured but what about the other area of Delhi. These bustards are choosing to hurt us by every way by targeting the innocent people in bus stations, hotels, restaurants, shopping malls, schools etc. We don't have enough force to protect everything."

He looked highly pissed off. Everyone from this Agency which was disguised as an MNC of Software knew him well. He was a great strategist, have great knowledge in Software and hardware of any kind of security system. He was also a skilled commando''.and from his agency he was the only person who had marine, air and ground commando training. And he had also a rare skill- he could easily read and penetrate his opponent's planning and strategies. He also led his brigade in many secret operations and retuned successfully. And he also proved his ability by putting his life danger every time. In short he was a charismatic leader and fierce warrior in everyway.

"But Neel right now we are going through serious problem." Finally Derek said. Neel looked at him cautiously. He explained, "First of all to stop this Mafias we have to capture their next consignment of diamonds by hook or by crook. And then we have to arrest the master mind of behind this within same time. Because if he leaves London we won't get him by anyway."

Neel shook his head. He knew the whole things. These Mafias who earn their money from smuggling and gambling invest their money in spreading terror in all over the world. They lend these money to the leaders of terrorist groups who spend them for buying arms and ammunition that's too from them. By that way they earn double even triple profit. Right now a famous Mafia group are smuggling a huge amount of uncut diamonds from the mine of Kimberley and Pritoria and Johanesburg. These diamonds will be polished and then will be shown as white deal in papers and will be sold in high price to some billionare or trillionare. The money will be then used in training of some militant who will later destroy the target cities. And in this mission someone is helping tis Mafia group in their smuggling. He is custom of London and he will show this entire consignment in white by changing the papers. But if he ordered to arrest him the master mind behind this entire smuggling plan will be alerted. And then he will simply change his plan by hiring another personale of London Custom. But this time he decided to not let it happen. So he stayed inactive till now.

"But Neel there is another problem" Dean talked in between. He looked at him quizzically. He replied," we show our agency as software and hardware company which offers every kind of assistance in security field. Specially in big MNC's data securing programme. And sometime we offer our men to their security team for short time. We ensure them about their product's safety." He paused and Neel took over " so what's the problem?" he angrily asked. " Do you suggest we should stop running of this dummy company?"

"No. But here is a problem." Dean repeated again.

"W H A T?" Neel shouted.

"Ahh''Neel actually a company takes too much interest to buy our company." He said.

Everyone got shocked by hearing this news as they were discussing some urgent matter. But this news just gave a shake to everyone.

Neel wondered and asked, " Why?? I guess apart from our pay from our respective Govt. and Inter-pole we also achieved a lot as a company. Our turn over is damn good. And we have no crisis of funds."

"Yes..but as you know this company was founded by Joint partnership with a civilian. And now our civilian partner decided to hand over this company to them. As they have offered him a good money." Dean sadly informed.

Everyone again got a 440vt shock. Neel threw his fist against the table and in the reflex the glass of the table's top was broken. His knuckle was bleeding badly. He cursed the company owner.

"A nd she is on her way." Dean again said.

Neel lifted his face and asked, "Who?"

"Ah..some Miss Sinhania of Sinhania Group of Companies. Ahh,,,,,yeah her name is Aparna Sinhania. She won 4^th time the best entrepreneur of the year in the row. She is a terrible combination of Beauty, Brain and Talent." Dean said.

Listening the very name Neel had a weird feeling. He couldn't able to talk further. Derek who noticed this sudden change took the charge and asked everyone to get back their work temporarily.

Neel looked at him and said, " Thanks." And left his cabin. Derek shouted from his behind, "Neel don't go anywhere Man. We have a meeting with her in next 30mins."

He just nodded and walked away. Derek could feel he had tears in his eyes. He sadly nodded his head and left his cabin too.