Eyes And Vision [Original SS] : Chapter 10 : Pg 53 - Page 6

Originally posted by: Favouriteofall

interesting intro Mahak!

OMG...daily updates 😃

continue soon with a longer update...plzzz

nd thnx for the pm 😊

Yup...daily updates... Longer? Yaar roz update kar rahi hoon..kuch toh taras khao...

I have added you in my sister's ID...so i will surely PM you :)

Originally posted by: -Ecstasy-

Will read it when I go online from PC..
Till then, a dreadful Reserve!

Originally posted by: -Kanky-

Hello, Mahak.

I am certain, the piece I just read does not qualify for a chapter. Hence, assuming, it was the preface, I will let out my two cents to you.

It has been really long that I read from you, by the way.

The protagonists deliver a Hindustani feeling, they converse like folks from UP and MP, simply etched. Simplicity always signifies something deep, and definitely dark and the way you punch a story out of such an idea is eventually going to help you grasp the attention of your reader.

You've made a really nice attempt.

Thanks for the PM.

Kankshita

I know...the update was really short. But then, i am updating everyday, so it counts for something...right?

Yup..i know...it's been very long.

Yup. They do belong to UP. As i said, typical Lucknow Nawabi Andaz.

This is a really deep story, so i thought that there was no use for using fancy-English. I wanted to give it a simple touch.

Thank you.

I have added you in my sister's ID...so i will surely PM you :)

Originally posted by: princez_94

Hmm.. Very different concept... But I'm really loving the start, and you describe everything ever so beautifully.. She has no eyes but a vision...And the best part you write in Urdu... Please add me to your PM list, I'm already loving you ss... Continue soon Mehak... :)

-Laiba

I am glad that you find it beautifully described...

Really? Thanks :)

Actually, whenever i am in deep thoughts...I always talk in this manner...so I thought that it would be fair, if I write a SS in this manner only :)

And i know that you are going to be a fair judge of character...i know this...after reading all your comments in Intikhaab ;)

I have added you in my sister's ID...so i will surely PM you :)

Originally posted by: mjhtnupurmayank

Wow...!!

Gud 1 haan...

Very unique...! I'm curious to know wats gonna happen further ...!

But... kafi chota update yaar... :/

N Pls add me to the pm list...!

DAILY updates...! Cool...!!! I wish u would say the same about Arrange Marriage though... *fingers crossed*... Arey forget daily even weekly is fine...!! or even fortnightly is okay...! wassay?? :P

Pooja

Hmm...This one surely is different. I just played on with different style. I decided to finally give it a simple shot.

I know..yeh bahut chota tha...par yaar. I am updating everyday...so it counts for something...right?

Whoa...why am i NOT surprised? 🤣 How come i almost knew that you would say this? 😲 Madam...main AM ke liye bhi keh doon...but would you be contented with such small updates? 😉

I have added you in my sister's ID...so i will surely PM you :)

She raised her eyebrows at me and said, "Aap kehke toh dekhiye...agar humne is aapki pareshani ka hal nahi dhoondha, toh hum apna naam badal denge."

The way she said it, just showed how enthusiastic she is. She is so innocent and brave. How could she be so nice to me...a stranger? Can I really share my problems with her?

"Par humein toh aapka naam pata hi nahi hai. Phir humein kaise pata chalega ki aapne apna naam badla hai ya nahi?"

"Hmm...yeh toh aapne pate ki baat ki. Vaise toh humein lagta hai ki aap baat ko palatne ki koshish kar rahe hain...lekin chaliye phir bhi. Aapko hum apna naam bata hi dete hain. Hum hain Pankhudi. Aur aap?"

What a beautiful name! Just like her name, she surely was all delicate looking. I couldn't help but smile at her. I decided to tease her.

"Humara naam jaankar aap kya karengi?"

"Gundo ko aapke khilaf supari denge!"

I was stunned for a moment, before she burst out laughing.

"Sach mein...aap bhi na. Aapko apni shakal dekhni chahiye. Kya bevkoof banaya humne aapko."

Even I burst out laughing at her. She got me there. But then I recalled some part of her sentence.

"Dekhni chahiye? Par aap toh dekh hi nahi sakti hain. Phir aapko kaise pata ki humne kaisi shakal banai?"

She was quiet for a moment and I thought that I have hurt her. I decided to ask for her forgiveness. She had brought me out of my glum mood today. How could I possibly hurt her like this? I am a jerk.

"Aapne sach kaha. Kabhi kabhi hum yeh bhool hi jaate hai ki hum dekh nahi sakte hain. Par use kya fark padta hai? Humare paas sirf aankhon ki hi toh kami hai...iska matlab yeh thodi na hai ki hum kalpana bhi nahi kar sakte hain!"

Wow! She surely had something in her. I felt some positive vibes in her. I felt as if everything was right. She felt no misery over her loss. She was someone to learn from. To break the silence, I continued where we left.

"Hamara naam jaanna hai na aapko?"

She immediately smiled. Her whole face lit up like hundreds of candles.

"Haan. Jaise aapne humara naam jaana...humein bhi aapka naam janna hai. Toh bataiye na...kya naam hai aapka?"

I could hear the utmost sincerity and a little bit of pleading in her voice. She is too innocent for her own good.

"Humara naam hai...Arth."

She looked taken aback for a moment. And I wondered what had gotten wrong.

"Kya hua? Aapko humara naam nahi pasand aaya?"

"Nahi aisa nahi hai...bas kuch yaadein judi hain is naam ke saath. Bas wahi yaadein yaad aa gayi. Is ek naam ne hamari zindagi mein rang bhare...aur phir unhi ko humhi se cheen liya."

The atmosphere at once went cold. The slowly falling rain drops started to chill me to the bone. I felt a little wave of shivering go through her body. I mentally cursed myself for not thinking about her.

amazing update Mahak!