Tomorrow - OS
Fateh didn’t know what he was going through. He knew what heartbreak was. He had felt it before, but this was different. He felt like he couldn’t take a full breath in. Something deep in his chest wasn’t allowing him to. Like his own body was punishing him for his sins. He wished he could have said that he was ignorant of Tejo’s feelings. Like he didn’t notice that she had fallen for him, but that was a lie. He saw the look in her eyes, this was what prompted him to run to Jasmin. He was a coward and he was now facing the consequences. He should never have lied to her, and he never should have cheated. Ever.
Fateh looked down at what he was wearing. Wedding attire and he was to be the groom, about to get married to Jasmin. He didn’t know how it got this far. One moment he was punching Gippy with all the pent-up rage inside him, and the next Tejo was bursting into tears after having found the love note to Jasmin in the bathroom. He could never forget the look in her eyes. It would haunt him till the day he died. The disappointment in her eyes he had seen before, but the betrayal and hatred he had never seen. It hit him full force in such a physical way, that he took a couple of steps backward.
“I love you”, she had told him after falling to her knees. She looked straight into his eyes. “I was going to tell you that today. That was going to be my surprise gift to you.” She began dry heaving and her hands clutched to her chest, trying to get herself to stop.
As Fateh took the scene before him that day, his mind, previously in a haze of Jasmin, began to replay everything he and Tejo went through. How strong she was. For him. Now he had broken her. That silent spirit that enveloped her had vanished, and the woman before him was just a shell filled with betrayal. He too had fallen to his knees at some point and was sobbing. He didn’t know how it happened or even when, but both Fateh and Tejo, six feet away from each other, were sobbing as they looked at each other. Tejo was filled with hurt and betrayal, Fateh filled with regret and shame. Fateh was so consumed with the pain in Tejo’s eyes that he almost didn’t catch what she said next.
“I will give you the gift you really want. I’ll talk to my parents about it, and then I’ll leave.” At that point, Fateh didn’t know what she meant. It was only days later, once she moved back to her parents' house, did he understand. She was going to get him married to Jasmin. From that time onwards, he kept trying to talk to her. To catch her eye. So that he could apologize. It didn’t take him long to figure out that Jasmin wasn’t for him. But his guilt and shame stopped him from asking for another chance. He knew he didn’t deserve it. And so after days of blur and being unable to sleep in his room as it had too many reminders of Tejo, his wedding day arrived, and he finally pulled Tejo aside.
“Is this what you want me to do Tejo? To marry your sister?” Fateh asked.
“Don’t you dare put this one me! This was you, all you. You cheated on me with my own sister. This is what you want.” Tejo replied with her fists clenched at her side.
“I know it’s my fault, and I’ve been telling you s-sorry for that every day. But I don’t want her. I know I figured it out too late, but I just wanted to let you know that I-I love you. I’m not asking for another ch-chance or anything. I’m asking you to tell me what to do. I’ll do anything you say, anything to lessen the p-pain.” Fateh begged as he fell to his knees. He didn’t want to look into her face anymore. He couldn’t take the hatred there.
“You don’t really love me Fateh. You’re just fooling yourself. You’ve been obsessed with Jasmin from day one. You only ‘moved on’ for a quick second in between because you were angry at her. Once you stopped, you ran right back into her arms. Right now you’re feeling guilty, that’s why you feel like you ‘love’ me. Soon, this guilt will be gone and you will fall right back into love with Jasmin.” Tejo said in one breath. Fateh wasn’t looking at her, but even with his eyes closed, he could imagine what her face looked like. It would always haunt him. Those fiery eyes burned with a vengeance and were squinted, looking at him in such a cynical fashion like she could see right through him. It would haunt him forever.
He couldn’t explain to her what she meant to him. How could he? In what words could he explain the intense feeling of gratitude, guilt, lust, and love he felt towards her? Even if he did find the perfect words to string along into perfect sentences, Tejo would never believe them. He had broken her trust in a disgustingly cruel way.
“First, I want you to give me a divorce. I’ll send in the papers from Canada. Second, marry Jasmin. I’ve had enough of both of you ruining other people's lives. Just get married and leave everyone else alone.” Tejo said and she punctuated each syllable clearly. Fateh didn’t want to do what she said. It pained him just to hear the words come out of her mouth. Yet, with his eyes still closed and with his shoulders hunched, he nodded. He would do what she asked. He heard her retreat out of the courtyard and into the fields. He knew this was what she would ask, even before he pulled her aside. He just needed to make sure.
Fateh kept walking. His thoughts traveled so much faster than his legs could, and before he even reached the mandap, he realized he would break his promise to Tejo. Once he looked up and saw Jasmin, in all her pink prettiness, completely unaware that her sister was leaving, his conviction doubled. Jasmin turned around and looked at him, she didn’t see him but he saw her. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before these last couple of days. The pure greed and selfishness in her eyes. She was always the main character, the protagonist. She thought of herself as Heer, and him as Ranjha.
Mere Heer na gabrati hai na gabrayi
With that, Fateh turned around and began to run. He heard his heart pump faster knowing where he was going. He felt his legs pound against the dirt, and his pristine clothes turn brown. And for the first time in a while, he felt like his legs were carrying him faster than his thoughts. His vision was blurry with tears that the wind carried. Still, he could see her. Tejo.
Shaadi mandap chod chad ke pas mere ayi
When he finally reached close enough to see the hints of brown in her dark hair, he wrapped his arms around her. He felt her freeze, and then relax in his arms. He would break his promise indeed. He would give her the divorce, of course, he would. He didn’t deserve her and he knew it in his heart. He felt it in every part of him as he brought her closer and rested his head on her shoulder. He was going to let her go. He knew that he was a mess, his tears flowing out and his clothes all dirty, but he needed this. He needed this hug goodbye. After all, he was going to break his promise to Tejo and not get married to Jasmin. This meant that she would hate him more, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make himself get married to her. Maybe this was selfish of him, or maybe it was just the end of a never-ending cycle of heartbreak. Either way, he let himself melt around Tejo one last time.
Aur ab toh janam janam keliye saath hai
Tejo had heard him coming even before she felt his arms around her. They were thick, muscular, and always felt like home. Until recently. Now they felt like a prison. He felt like a prison, and she needed to get out. She twisted in his arms to face him and push him away, but what she saw stopped her. There in front of her, Fateh Singh Virk looked like a man defeated. His eyes shined with grief, but as he looked at her, he stretched the corners of his mouth and tried to pull a smile. Without thinking, Tejo put her arms around Fateh and let out a sigh. At first, she thought it was because she felt bad for him. He did look like a beaten-down puppy. However, when she relaxed into his arms and inhaled, she knew it was for herself. This was her first love. Her first kiss. Her first heartbreak. Her relationship with Fateh was the result of naivety and innocence. So, as she hugged Fateh, she hugged that last remaining bit of innocence and love. She hugged him because that was what Yesterday Tejo would have done. That girl who believed Fateh was a good husband and a good man. She would never have been able to bear his tears. With one last squeeze, she said goodbye to Fateh and Yesterday Tejo, silently praying she would never have to see either again. As she pulled back, Fateh sank to the ground onto his knees. He could no longer carry himself up. The last image Tejo had of Fateh was a broken man on his knees. His face in his hands and his clothes all dirty.
Heer aur Ranjha
She slowly backed up, wanting to etch this memory into her head, and then turned around. Her heart pumped as her pace grew faster, as her arms turned into wings, and finally, she began to fly into Tomorrow, leaving Yesterday behind.
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Mangal Lakshmi
