Posted:
Hii lovely forum mates !! 😊😊
I'm back with something weird this time, and again, it's not something that would easily go down your processing powers. It's a hate story that blooms after the love confession. So ya all see, it's the hatred-filled begininng and not the happy beginning between two lovers. The story will reveal slowly, as the chapters proceed.
For the first time, I'm writing in the first person and it's Kanak I've chosen to write as. I've never attempted it before so please bear with me. So here you go...
Chapter 1 :
"Since every end marks a new begininng, here I am. Me, the daughter of IPS Officer Sandhya Rathi and Chef Sooraj Rathi, Kanak. Why should I bother to mention Rathi or Toshniwal after the first name ? Just because I'm a lady who has to have an identity of existence, which is recognised only when she's got a freaking surname. Screw it. I disregard that very fact of a lady's existence in this biased world.
How different I used to be before ...those were the days when I was as carefree as is the feather that had just been detached from the bird's body. That one feather just goes with the flow, high up in the air, unknown to any of the hurricanes and tornadoes waiting right up in there, interrupting it's otherwise beautiful journey. That was me exactly. I was free to explore, free to choose, free to express. Even though my beloved Bhabho hated me, she never came in my way, she let me feel alive. She atleast made me feel that I live, not merely survive.
My clothing, my habits, my emotions, my choices, my life.. those were the only things that mattered the most to me. I used to possess a self identity. Someone who was naughty, fearful, emotional, carefree, almost crazy in life. Someone who chose the path of her life. Someone who stood up for herself, though not always maybe..."
Enough. I now feel sick of this too. I don't really know what should I do with all this practical crap that's loaded the recycle bin of my hectic life. I neither can delete it, nor can I keep it to myself for the rest of my life...ufff.
"Is this a life ? Is the result of your decision satisfying ? " I felt that the thing on the top floor of my head finally struggled itself back to work. But then asking questions was just the work that thing did, whenever I needed it the most. You see, it stops responding when the need arises. Instead, it starts shooting back a hell lot of questions.
Since I was already disarmed today, those questions successfully pierced through my inner self. Even though I had learnt self-control and emotional-control skills lately, none came to my rescue today. I couldn't help it, but a tear or two did speedily run down my cheek. AND. Those didn't go unnoticed by that one gaze I was trying to avoid.
It's definitely not happening today Kanak. You cannot.
"Kanak ?! " The sound came from the other corner of the room. It was a tone filled with...what ? Is he depressed ? Or is he like done with this, just like I am ? Just when I was trying to figure out the answers to my questions, I could hear my name again. I don't know why but I really don't remember how many times he took my name. Some sort of a real creep stuff held my mind and blocked it's normal processes, some of which include responding and reacting. The next moment I could fadely hear that sound approaching me...the sound become sharper by every inch of the approach. It wasn't too long when I pushed myself out of the trance, if it is called so. I could see the owner of the sound look at me.
'I HATE HIM' was the only statement my brainy loved to repeat on and on. "You do hate me." Uma finally said the truth that only belonged to me, myself and my soul. It was quite strange that he still possessed the ability to know the untold secrets of my heart's chambers. But then I wondered quite annoyingly, that how on earth did he still dare to trespass the now confined chambers of my heart. I blankly looked at him on realising that the truth he just blurted out had to be approved and acknowledged. I retaliated back, must be the right usage of words I guess, "Yes I hate you. I hate to admit it but yes, you've rightly pointed out the things stirring inside my mind, yet again. The sad part is, you only know and point out to me, you never try to understand those. Never. It's an Adharma obviously." I stared at him my brows narrowing with the anger and the hatred that my heart possessed. "Finally. You atleast accept that I know you inside and out. Okay, I agree that I don't understand you. But what about you Kanak ? You don't even care to look through my heart. Do you even know what's deep down in my heart ? Not at all. Because you're too self-obsessed and drowned in your own problems. I don't understand you, but you don't even know me, is the right statement. Get your facts right first, and then blame me." The man spoke what he wanted to and left the room, a hint of disgust clearly reflecting in his eyes.
Uma, Umashankar or whatever. How dare this man speak to me like this ?! He always has tonnes of lectures ready to be delivered. He is always ready with his kiddish self defence. He doesn't want anybody to have a different opinion ?!
Yes Brainy. It was my mistake to take the decision of returning to him after all that he did to me. My life ? It's not even MY life now. It belongs to that Operator of the Invisible Chains, those chains that hold me back from whatever I wish to do. These are my answers to your questions Brainy.
Uma, get ready to payback for your deeds. I know what I want now, REVENGE it is.
