women vs dowry - Page 2

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

Why would I not take dowry if the girls father wishes to give out of his own will...?

There is a big difference between a father gifting or giving his daugher her Stridhan and a grooms family demanding dowry. Stridhan belongs to the girl always, while dowry more often than not, is used by the grooms family.

Originally posted by: raksha.l

You take it because it was offered, but your friend may feel the peer pressure and now he too will force his future in-laws to shell out that ransom

How are we going to stop it then???Just doing the lip service that Dowry deaths should not happen, isn't quite a solution for the problem... 😃

How many things in this world are put on hold due to peer pressure... nothing i would say .. why this?

More importantly why you want to stop it. In the grand scheme of things there will be aves and avenots.. but we are not going to turn the world in one direction or the other.. People seek wealthy wives, wealthy inlaws.. so on.. we cant put everyone in the same bucket...😊

Originally posted by: raksha.l

You take it because it was offered, but your friend may feel the peer pressure and now he too will force his future in-laws to shell out that ransom

How are we going to stop it then???Just doing the lip service that Dowry deaths should not happen, isn't quite a solution for the problem... 😃

Raksha, I dont agree that a father willingly gives "dowry".

In Hindus, there is a custom of Stridhan. In older days, the daughters share of the family property was given to her as Stridhan and therefore more often than not, she was not considered as a part of the HINDU UNDIVIDED FAMILY (a legal entity) for share of family property on the demise of the kartha (head of HUF).

Stridhan is her right and that is not dowry. Stridhan is her personal property and does not belong to the husbands estate. In fact, on her demise, she is entitled to distribute her stridhan as she thinks fit and that does not belong to the husbands family or his HUF.

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

how can the grooms parents cover the cost of the grooms upbringing otherwise and also the cost of taking care of additional person the Daughter in law...😉

Dowry by itself is not bad.. but harrassment in name of dowry is bad...😊

Yeah right, and girls parents dont spend anything on bringing up the girl or what. If a person cannot afford to take care of his wife then he should not marry, period.

In many states, even if the girls are well educated and earning well, it is expected to give some kilo of gold and cash in kind. I am not just stating this but know for a fact from a friend, which is really disgusting. In such a scenario, where the girl is educated and earning, there is no question of cost of taking care of the would be DIL or wife because she is earning (stating this cos you have mentioned that point), still they demand it. 🤢 Girl is not a commodity which can be sold and bought by cash or kind.

Dowry by itself is Very Bad.. but harrassment in name of dowry is Worst and Immoral..

Originally posted by: s.priya

There is a big difference between a father gifting or giving his daugher her Stridhan and a grooms family demanding dowry. Stridhan belongs to the girl always, while dowry more often than not, is used by the grooms family.

No there is no diffference... some parents give it with intent of stree-dhan... some dont and thats where the disparity is.. Whether u are the giver or taker its the evil in the mind which is hte problem not the actual custom....😊

Originally posted by: s.priya

Raksha, I dont agree that a father willingly gives "dowry".

In Hindus, there is a custom of Stridhan. In older days, the daughters share of the family property was given to her as Stridhan and therefore more often than not, she was not considered as a part of the HINDU UNDIVIDED FAMILY (a legal entity) for share of family property on the demise of the kartha (head of HUF).

Stridhan is her right and that is not dowry. Stridhan is her personal property and does not belong to the husbands estate. In fact, on her demise, she is entitled to distribute her stridhan as she thinks fit and that does not belong to the husbands family or his HUF.

Tahts way too outdated. Now the daughter lands at her fathers place with a lawyer.. for a share in the property...

😆

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

Whether u are the giver or taker its the evil in the mind which is hte problem not the actual custom....😊

Cant say about the rest of your posts, but completely agree with this one line. 😊

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

Tahts way too outdated. Now the daughter lands at her fathers place with a lawyer.. for a share in the property...

😆

I dont know if you did read the whole post. I said "IN OLDER DAYS" and I spoke of customs

And lets not go tarnishing the fair name of daughters, merely for the fault of some

Originally posted by: sweta01

Yeah right, and girls parents dont spend anything on bringing up the girl or what. If a person cannot afford to take care of his wife then he should not marry, period.

In many states, even if the girls are well educated and earning well, it is expected to give some kilo of gold and cash in kind. I am not just stating this but know for a fact from a friend, which is really disgusting. In such a scenario, where the girl is educated and earning, there is no question of cost of taking care of the would be DIL or wife because she is earning (stating this cos you have mentioned that point), still they demand it. 🤢 Girl is not a commodity which can be sold and bought by cash or kind.

Dowry by itself is Very Bad.. but harrassment in name of dowry is Worst and Immoral..

Still whats wrong in dowry or stree dhan.. or whatever you call it.. what is precisely wrong?

Originally posted by: s.priya

I dont know if you did read the whole post. I said "IN OLDER DAYS" and I spoke of customs

And lets not go tarnishing the fair name of daughters, merely for the fault of some

I think we have a generation of daughters who think ulta.. whats worng in askign for a fair share.. .why is that so "tarnishing"....?.. On one end when it comes to husband gals make hulla about whats right, the good the bad the ugly but when it comes to asking fair share of whats legally due to her its tarnhishing?!!!!! Veri bad veri bad.... indeed...

come on if and when I marry and if I have a daughter.. I would start driving a truck by night if required to ensure that I have enough dowry for her marriage...irrespective of the fact whether anybody is going to ask for it... if nobody asks it will go towards retirement funds...😆