As for Minnie's comment about good husbands, we'll he can try to prepare Babita for widow hood but she has to want that too. I guess if she were to be widowed she would have to start building up again. I'm not sure how much pension she'd receive but it may not be enough for Minnie and her.
Even i feel that all these traits in babita have been there from before. The examples you have given have showed that side of hers. But inspite of that she still cared for mini and her betterment. She still could see another point of view when explained. But right now she is all about this regressive, log kya kahenge stuff only. nothing else makes her up right now.
@ bold yes this version of babita has a voice. first her empowerment & now HS telling her that ghar me uski marji chaligi and all his ji hujiri have given a sense of entitlement that she can do anything. Its finally going to be her decision. She wants everyone to see only what her needs are. All the love that HS mini have given her to overcome her man ki gaanthe, she sees it as she is the one who has to be first attended to , her emotions come first. The earlier version of babita was meek and she could atleast do the right thing when someone forced her to. but this one cannot even if she is forced to. This version of babita wouldnt have walked out with mini. She would have stayed in the house saying mini to bachhi hai i wont spoil my married life and stay on and fight with ashok for his love like beeji wanted her to.
Regarding HS telling that he has some limits now that he has married babita is not true. Mini was right that it was he who could have made babita understand. Finances are something which have to be discussed between partners. He should have told her that he fell in love with the independent babita not this one. Also that he too with mini put so much effort in getting her independent so she is putting his efforts also to waste. He could have told her that minis education and all will need her earning also. Also the shop was bought at 10 L selling it at 2 L is a loss . He should have put his foot down saying he wont allow that. It would have been within his right to say all this. But no the way they are showing HS as helpless is beyond me.
@bold: I agree with you about what this new version of Babita would have done if she was still living in Ashok's house.....the lesson she seems to have learnt from all this is to hold on harder to her marriage and husband.
The reason she is unable to think about Mini's betterment right now is because the choices have changed.....all her life she's otherwise spent thinking of Mini only....pati toh tha hi nahin saath mein. Ab pati mil gaya hai and she's struggling with how to hold on to him and she wants Mini to fit into a box neatly and not create any trouble for her.....she's trying to be "assertive" in her own way but she's going about it all the wrong way.
In trying to stand up for herself, she has started brushing away all other viewpoints......and it may not have been an issue so much if her stance wasn't incorrect.....but she sadly doesn't see it right now.....khushfehmi hai as NB said.
As for HS ki helplessness....I've sort of reconciled myself to this character trait of his now.....whatever Babita he fell in love with, he doesn't have it in him to really keep the empowerment going post marriage....he fears if he tries to explain things to her now, she will take it the wrong way and throw away their whole marriage over it.......his "her life, her wish" philosophy has ultimately culminated like this.....he doesn't view marriage as a partnership to that extent.....he views marriage as "keep your wife happy at any cost...let her do whatever she wants".
But, if PB creatives wanted it to be a realistic depiction of the seamier versions of humanity and their frailties, rather than portray the protagonists to have impeccable character and morals, then they should have been more forthright in terming their show as such. It shouldn't have been given the tag-line of a woman gaining wings under the encouragement and support of her daughter. It seems like they have decided to change tracks mid course and that is why everyone who watched the show from beginning are upset. The words Babita used for Minnie that she is unhappy at her mom's happiness and she is trying to sabotage her marriage seems so far out from the left field that I am almost expecting the creators to come up with something like a brain tumor to explain her sudden shift to the dark side
Well the tag line was about a daughter giving her mother wings. Which she did. The show never promised or guaranteed what Babita would do with those wings đ¤ˇââď¸ Lol
And the show has been pretty clear about this mix of traits in the characters since the early days. They never showed the characters as âimpeccableâ. I could always see that the characters had many shades to them and not one straightforward noble or perfection filled angle.
I can understand that people are upset about the lack of a happily ever after here. I myself am not exactly happy about this tragic end....but I also donât agree that these traits in Babita came out of nowhere.
Her telling Mini that she canât see her happy is not new. She does it all the time when sheâs throwing tantrums. Two days back she said to HS at KC that he doesnât love her cuz he made her drink the water before the fast ended đđ....even in way earlier epis, she used to say this gusse mein many times ki tu mujhe khush nahin dekh sakti....but they always ultimately brushed it off as Babita doing bakwaas in anger that she didnât mean.
Right now sheâs like a kid whose favorite toy is under threat so sheâs lashing out blindly. Sheâs always been childish. That also is not new. Itâs gotten amplified since she started getting obsessive about this marriage. She is more paranoid now because she finally has a good husband and she doesnât want anything to threaten it. She hasnât faced this situation before. Mini was the one always getting her out of trouble but this time she feels Mini doesnât understand cuz she doesnât understand marriage đ¤ˇââď¸....and the mom has taken a backseat to the panicked wife. Cuz sheâs always had the title of mom but she lost the title of wife once before.....so sheâs more insecure about it now.
Word to your write up. At last, it all seems to make sense what they are trying to show.
I think the fact that they are rushing through these things, rather than taking their own sweet time with the storytelling, is making everything seem haphazard but if you pay attention the message is there.
They can say they're not a message board but Naeem Bi pretty much spelled out what the writers are going for.
Sigh... I have seen people who end up like Babita in her current state, but so is life.
As for HS, we'll he was spot on with his explanation of his limitations. We may not like what he's doing but it was good to see that he was conscious about it. We saw similar situations with Imarti, where he let his love for her overpower his common sense by giving in to her demand of not going for surgery, and it hurt him in the long run. He also made a very good point that he could not say no if Babita decided to ask him to take care of finances.
Lastly, you can see that the trauma because of his mother still has him in a stranglehold, such that his no more tears policy is doing more harm than good. Sure he can scold Babita and temporarily make her understand, but what about the next time an issue comes up? Is this going to be a never-ending cycle? I hated seeing him all resigned, as did Minnie, and even though he has been a bit more passive than I'd like, I really felt for him when he said people couldn't be heroes in their own lives.
Yes, the story is actually very clear if you pay attention. There is such a backlash in this forum daily that it makes the epis sound terrible. But to me frankly, the scenes were good from a storytelling perspective. They are bringing threads together after quite a while. I was losing patience with Babita ka pati obsession and a passive HS, but finally itâs culminating towards the point the story wanted to make so I find these epis better now.
There was such a hue and cry about the surname argument too but when I finally saw the scene and the whole episode, I thought it was well presented from all angles....Mini stated a harsh truth when she pointed out that all families have good and bad people, so keeping a surname simply based on who you find good currently is not a consistent stance. I liked how HS confronted her about the Singh versus Khurana name and she pointed out that his family too has a dark past and people who did both good and bad things....he may not have liked hearing it but it was the truth....as he acknowledged later to Laale as well. That Mini is like Imarti in that she speaks the blunt truth, come what may. And he acknowledged the same to Mini later at the KC as well.
Which again brings us back to the point about HS being capable of self reflection and realizing his failings....itâs an admirable trait in him. Yes, we would like to see him being more assertive and rise up to more strength and courage but heâs always acknowledged that heâs not as courageous as Mini is....some things do hold him back.
About the finances....if this was a more honest marriage, he could have tried explaining it to Babita....but it isnât. This marriage is more old school...he is wary of the over sensitive nature of Babita and her tendency to misinterpret anything as her husband not caring for her or supporting her....so his hands are tied there....that is what he explained to Mini.
People get into marriage for various reasons....Love is just one part of it....not everyone can build an honest partnership out of it....that is what Mini is learning through this.
I hate that this story will end without HS resolving his parental issues. Arya might've helped him learn the other side of being a father and dispelled some of those mann ki gaanth. For his mother especially, nobody was ready to listen when he tried opening up and Arya hasn't grown so much to understand and help him...
Same as Minnie. She will never love anyone in a father's capacity like she could've HS. Nobody will hold a candle to him in her life. For all these jokes about Mini finding an HS and bringing him to the haveli to rent a room, well, don't girls look for traits of their fathers in their partners?
What sorry state of affairs.
Mini was ready to listen whenever he spoke about his Mom....but the writers never followed up on that angle sadly đ¤ˇââď¸
Arya is too little to expect this from her. Also, why the expectation that only a biological daughter would understand HS ki pain about his mother? đ Wouldnât Mini who shares the pain of seeing her mother going through trauma be the most apt person to share this with?
Arya could have helped him experience fatherhood otherwise but I disagree that he had no one to share his pain about his mother. Mini was right there....he chose never to open up about that after the wedding.
I donât doubt for a second that Mini will absolutely look for someone like HS as a partner in her life.....and it would be fitting. He is the only true father figure in her life that she loved with all her heart, so she will absolutely measure all men against him. Despite all this talk of him not living up to hero status for her, I think he will very much live on as the yardstick for all men in her life.
As for Minnie's comment about good husbands, we'll he can try to prepare Babita for widow hood but she has to want that too. I guess if she were to be widowed she would have to start building up again. I'm not sure how much pension she'd receive but it may not be enough for Minnie and her.
See everyone knows that Babita is unreasonable, which is why more is expected from others around her trying to take responsibility.....Mini feels helpless since Babita isnât listening to her anymore so sheâs turning to HS whoâs always been her partner in tackling Babita.
Babita isnât prepared for widowhood. HS doesnât have such a morbid view of life....he lives life trying to keep people happy in the moment....he didnât marry Babita to empower her...he married her for love and companionship....but Mini wants him to take over the reigns from her and keep empowering Babita.....sadly marriage is more complicated than that đ¤ˇââď¸....to have that kind of marriage, the people involved need to be more honest about why they got married.
Miniâs point essentially was that HS should always keep Babita prepared to be able to stand on her own two feet financially and mentally even if he isnât there.
Mini was ready to listen whenever he spoke about his Mom....but the writers never followed up on that angle sadly đ¤ˇââď¸
Arya is too little to expect this from her. Also, why the expectation that only a biological daughter would understand HS ki pain about his mother? đ Wouldnât Mini who shares the pain of seeing her mother going through trauma be the most apt person to share this with?
Arya could have helped him experience fatherhood otherwise but I disagree that he had no one to share his pain about his mother. Mini was right there....he chose never to open up about that after the wedding.
I donât doubt for a second that Mini will absolutely look for someone like HS as a partner in her life.....and it would be fitting. He is the only true father figure in her life that she loved with all her heart, so she will absolutely measure all men against him. Despite all this talk of him not living up to hero status for her, I think he will very much live on as the yardstick for all men in her life.
For me, Mini will always be HS' first daughter. Her saying that HS is from the Singh family which had a wife beater isn't something I can accept from Mini. She has always been a confidant and a pillar of strength for HS. HS has opened up and showed his vulnerability to Mini and I would always remember them this way.
I meant HS closed off that drawer to Babita and now with everything else going on with Mini, he won't be opening up to her either. There's just no time. Whether he closed up about his mother because he felt Mini doesn't consider him her father, or he let the insecurities of being rejected come in between or for whatever reason, it's a track the writers didn't explore which I would've loved to watch.
For the biological part, I mentioned Arya only for the father angle. Becoming a father to her (especially because it'll be from childhood, not as she's becoming an adult) would've help him look at the other side and how nurturing fathers can be, closing the door on a world of hurt hopefully. He's given up on Mini anyway, so I don't see it happening with her.
Also, for Imarti, Mini felt her essence. She truly accepted Imarti into her life just because she was/is a huge part of HS' life. I wonder how after watching all that we're supposed to accept Mini-HS only with the lens of step-father/daughter.
I agree with Mini looking for HS like qualities in men and him setting the benchmark. Moreover, she will always need someone like HS in her life.
For me, Mini will always be HS' first daughter. Her saying that HS is from the Singh family which had a wife beater isn't something I can accept from Mini. She has always been a confidant and a pillar of strength for HS. HS has opened up and showed his vulnerability to Mini and I would always remember them this way.
I donât see why though. Where was the lie in that? Did she insult HS as a person? No....she spoke the truth about the fact that his father was a wife beater. This is something HS has also mentioned many times. So how does her saying that mean she doesnât love or respect HS? đ¤ˇââď¸
She even clarified it right then that this statement was about a factual comparison, not to insult HS or his family. This is the blunt girl sheâs always been....maybe itâs uncomfortable to hear her speak truths about the Singh family but it doesnât change the facts.
See everyone knows that Babita is unreasonable, which is why more is expected from others around her trying to take responsibility.....Mini feels helpless since Babita isnât listening to her anymore so sheâs turning to HS whoâs always been her partner in tackling Babita.
Babita isnât prepared for widowhood. HS doesnât have such a morbid view of life....he lives life trying to keep people happy in the moment....he didnât marry Babita to empower her...he married her for love and companionship....but Mini wants him to take over the reigns from her and keep empowering Babita.....sadly marriage is more complicated than that đ¤ˇââď¸....to have that kind of marriage, the people involved need to be more honest about why they got married.
Miniâs point essentially was that HS should always keep Babita prepared to be able to stand on her own two feet financially and mentally even if he isnât there.
Neither of them is wrong but this marriage and its dynamics are just too complicated. I don't see HS ever getting the companionship at the level he would have wanted and I guess he has compromised on it. He can't spend his entire life pushing Babita either. It would get exhausting, so he will step back after a point, and I agree that he won't be thinking of leaving her widowed especially when they've just started their married life.
Minnie's concern is genuine, but as we know, one of the main reasons she wanted Hanita to get married, apart for Babita's happiness, is to be offloaded of the responsibility of her mother. HS is not exactly doing that 100% the way she may have expected but she's also not mature enough to understand the complications of marriage, or 'aurat-mard ka rishta' as HS calls it.
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