A person's basic nature never changes - Page 3

Originally posted by: AreYaar

@bold: I agree with you about what this new version of Babita would have done if she was still living in Ashok's house.....the lesson she seems to have learnt from all this is to hold on harder to her marriage and husband. 

The reason she is unable to think about Mini's betterment right now is because the choices have changed.....all her life she's otherwise spent thinking of Mini only....pati toh tha hi nahin saath mein.  Ab pati mil gaya hai and she's struggling with how to hold on to him and she wants Mini to fit into a box neatly and not create any trouble for her.....she's trying to be "assertive" in her own way but she's going about it all the wrong way. 

In trying to stand up for herself, she has started brushing away all other viewpoints......and it may not have been an issue so much if her stance wasn't incorrect.....but she sadly doesn't see it right now.....khushfehmi hai as NB said.

As for HS ki helplessness....I've sort of reconciled myself to this character trait of his now.....whatever Babita he fell in love with, he doesn't have it in him to really keep the empowerment going post marriage....he fears if he tries to explain things to her now, she will take it the wrong way and throw away their whole marriage over it.......his "her life, her wish" philosophy has ultimately culminated like this.....he doesn't view marriage as a partnership to that extent.....he views marriage as "keep your wife happy at any cost...let her do whatever she wants". 

@bold this is it... I guess he doesn't want to keep fighting to get her to that level because he sees her limitations too. I remember writing sometime back that I didn't think Babita was at his level of maturity and that it would take a long time for her to get to the point where she could be his confidante and real partner. Well, I guess the writers are trying to show that she won't ever get there and that HS will have to accept it and live with it. 

It's a shame but I guess that's the compromise he's decided to make just so that he doesn't rock the boat and the two of them can live in peace. I don't know how long it'll be before he feels suffocated but I guess he will just stop having the same kind of zest for life, especially with Minnie leaving on bad terms. Having said that, when the baby is born it will give him a sense of purpose and dare I say a distraction from Babita. Sure, he will have a void in his heart but he might think it better than living all alone. What he had with Imarti was it... He won't get that again and I don't think he expects to. 

We can all this and that about Babita, but the fact is that they started to butcher Babita way back and its this that Paridth may have questioned RS and KK about, if you go back and see all the interviews that the trio have done, Paridth does look uncomfortable when She talks about how she is going backwards and no progress is shown but too much is shown of Mini. 

What I don't get is why destroy HS with the famous line and than he started to be by butchered and the only one not effected was Mini.

The whole show is a lie upto 200 episodes and the writers were either changed or lost the plot ad nothing makes sence anymore

The danger with season 2 is Arya a prop to make Bacheri Mini even greater now at the little girl's expense.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Minnie's concern is genuine, but as we know, one of the main reasons she wanted Hanita to get married, apart for Babita's happiness, is to be offloaded of the responsibility of her mother. HS is not exactly doing that 100% the way she may have expected but she's also not mature enough to understand the complications of marriage, or 'aurat-mard ka rishta' as HS calls it.

Instead of “offload” responsibility, I would use the term transitioning of responsibility. Babita was not a BURDEN that Mini wanted to offload on someone. She loves her mother and worries for her, knowing her nature. Even now she’s willing to push aside everything in her life to take care of her mother. 

All she had hoped for was HS taking up the responsibility in such a way that he helps Babita be the best version of herself and achieve her full potential....I wouldn’t call that offloading. 

What is hard for Mini to understand at this age is the complications of the man-woman dynamic post marriage and the fact that the adults don’t always live up to that level of honesty in approaching marriage. 

She thinks the marriage was an extension of Babita’s empowerment journey while in reality, this marriage was about retreating into the cocoon of marriage again rather than approaching marriage in an empowered way. 

Originally posted by: inlieu

Having said that, when the baby is born it will give him a sense of purpose and dare I say a distraction from Babita. Sure, he will have a void in his heart but he might think it better than living all alone. What he had with Imarti was it... He won't get that again and I don't think he expects to. 

Yes, the baby would be a welcome distraction for both him and Babita from having to deal with the failings in their marriage. lol I suppose many marriages end up surviving like this only. The baby helps avoid discussing marital issues....full focus turns on the child. 

I don’t think HS ever expected an Imarti like relationship with Babita....but sadly, Babita couldn’t even manage to find her own identity to give him that in this marriage. All he has is a shell of a woman whose strings are pulled by society. Khud ka heart and soul has been suppressed yet again. 

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Yes, the baby would be a welcome distraction for both him and Babita from having to deal with the failings in their marriage. lol I suppose many marriages end up surviving like this only. The baby helps avoid discussing marital issues....full focus turns on the child. 

I don’t think HS ever expected an Imarti like relationship with Babita....but sadly, Babita couldn’t even manage to find her own identity to give him that in this marriage. All he has is a shell of a woman whose strings are pulled by society. Khud ka heart and soul has been suppressed yet again. 

There's a reason why he said Imarti Imarti thi, and he knew this marriage would never be like the first one but I think he had expected Babita to at least be caring and sensitive if not strong on life's philosophy. I don't see any companionship and as you said, with all focus on the child they can while away the years and keep this superficial thing going. Correct, there are many marriages like this that go on for decades. 

She is a shell of a woman who is blinded by everything that he himself has fought against and wanted her to as well, but realizes that the pull of those strings is much stronger than the pull of his love and forward thinking. Your line @bold just breaks my heart all over again.

Originally posted by: inlieu

She is a shell of a woman who is blinded by everything that he himself has fought against and wanted her to as well, but realizes that the pull of those strings is much stronger than the pull of his love and forward thinking. Your line @bold just breaks my heart all over again.

Today's epi once again underscored the fact that she can't get over her past.....she never truly did. 

Some victims of trauma think they are finding catharsis in going over their past memories again and again......but after a point, it's just a vicious cycle. That's where Babes is now.....she is wallowing in her past baggage again and thinking that talking about it is just sharing her pain with a sympathetic ear like Saroj......she doesn't realize how self-defeating it is. 

I guess Babita was badly craving peer female companionship all this time.....Mini was like her friend but I guess what she actually always wanted was a JANAANI friend.....which she now seems to have found in Saroj as they sit and talk about typical housewife things.....pati, bacche, pooja, festival etc......this is why Saroj is able to influence her so easily and even manage to twist her mind into questioning her own daughter's motives. 

Aaj Saroj ne wohi bola that so many people in this forum have said about Mini....ki how dare she talk to her mom like that....beti hai, beti banke rahe....lol forgetting that Mini-Babita never shared a conventional relationship and it can't suddenly change per convenience because a few ppl want to now start putting limitations on how Mini can talk to the Mom she's mothered all her life.....jab convenient tha tab mothering achhi lagi.....ab mothering nahin chahiye toh question karo ki how can Mini try to be apni maa ki maa......lol 

Saroj has managed to find that sweet spot of doubt in Babita's mind ki Mini doesn't understand the value of marriage cuz she is just a kid who hasn't experienced marriage to know how it has to be prioritized.....now Saroj is building on that sense of doubt by adding other crap about how Mini is like Ashok, that is why she doesn't understand Babita's pain blah blah........Babita is literally experiencing a devil sitting on her shoulder even as her own mind does try to push back a bit as she told Saroj to stop talking crap about Mini......there was a moment there where Babita seemed to be coming back to her senses, remembering her shared journey with Mini and Mini's constant support for her....but it got brushed aside again....the devil won....the moment Mini told her to stop letting victimhood take over, Babita didn't like that....she feels comfortable in her victimhood....she finds catharsis there.....and that is why Mini trying to bring her out of it makes her resent Mini. 

Babita has a tendency to repeat back statements said to her.....like Kammo called Mini dusri Meeta so Babita said it to Mini in anger.....now Saroj has put the seed in her head that Mini is like Ashok so Babita will blurt this out in anger to Mini tomorrow likely over the letter burning bit. 

I LOVED HS today.....after MANY days his real personality shone through.....KHARI baatein sunaayi Babita ko for all nonsense she was talking.....and that scene made it pretty clear that their marriage can't survive long term at this rate.....she was picking fights with him out of ego simply to prove her point....and already accusing him of taking Mini's side....lol....the irony.....Babita has indeed made this an ego battle that she has to win.....which is why she's talking about haar/jeet from her own daughter.....sadly her mind is totally clouded right now and she won't see reason. 

Mini has also given up in exhaustion and reached the same stage as HS.....ki jo marzi karo Babes, as long as you are happy....I'll make peace with it. Babita has managed to finally exhaust her most tireless supporter. lol

I hope they finally air the letter scene tomorrow.....aur kitna drag karenge.....lol 

Re: the pull of outside strings being stronger than the pull of HS ka love and forward thinking......

Well, in some ways, HS ka love defeated his own forward thinking na.....his love made him hold back in the early days from communicating any forward thinking thought to her.....he never intended it to be that way, but as he said to Laala some days back, his love has ended up being a catalyst in Babita's downfall.....he thought his love would empower her, give her a sense of security and confidence again.....but Babita has managed to give it a different twist....instead of wanting to rise in love, she wants to drown in it......this he didn't foresee and now here we are. 

This is what happens when you rush into marriage without clarifying the dynamics of what you are getting into. He presumed that empowered Babita would continue on as she had before the marriage.....but she changed once she experienced a husband's love....it's like when you get a great thing unexpectedly, you get so carried away that you just want to cling to that only.....everything else fades away....you lose perspective. 

It's ironic that she accuses Mini of being obsessed with the shop like a toy when she herself is treating her husband like a toy she is possessive about. 

About preparing wife for widowhood was supposed to be some mic drop moment in Minnie’s head but in this scenario it was just her one track approach to things. In Babita’s case-

1. She has the Haveli

2. If HS died on the job she can get a job in police given to next of kin along with pension

3. She can always have kirayedaar for supplemental income.

4. HS knows Babita has cooking skills- she doesn’t have to have a full fledged catering business but can supply tiffin if it really comes to that

I just get annoyed with Minnie’s one track mind regarding PB business. She has associated everything in her mom’s life with it and she wouldn’t have her mom any other way- without PB business. All issues Minnie has with Babita post marriage were associated with the business. First, why she won’t pay attention to it, then why she just wants to be HS’s wife and now selling the business. If Minnie had actually listened to or observed her mother like she claims to she would have accepted Babita’s decision and should have helped her sell it off at a reasonable price. Babita may be trying to adjust to her married life but I didn’t see Minnie adjusting to the changes. She wants Babita and Hs to behave the same like they did before and doesn’t leave any chance to complain about that not being the case.
of all 3, It comes across that she definitely didn’t have a clue what she wants out of this marriage. Babita just wants to be good wife and HS a good husband who doesn’t want to give his wife any reason to complain and he and Babita are perfectly fine losing PB catering as that is not the source of their happiness. 

*Never mind.....people have to twist stuff here😆