A person's basic nature never changes

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Posted: a month ago

This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think the writers are showing haphazard things in the last stretch of this season. 

Every thread ties back to things that have been shown periodically over this journey. 

The NB-Mini convo today was about this only. 

Babita overcame a lot of challenges and achieved many victories along the way in this journey of independence.....but time and time again, the one consistent thing she fell back to was - "Log kya kahenge"....or "Woh mere baare mein kya soch rahe honge?" .....so none of what she is doing now is out of character.....it's a more amplified side of the same fundamental strain running through her basic personality that she's never been able to overcome......good or bad, this is what drives her.....ki what will people think of her.....she needs to be good so that people think good of her....she needs to be strong to prove a point....she needs to be a wife to "fit in" to society.....she has a loving husband so now the whole world can see that she is no longer a divorcee or "outcast" in society.....she has to be a good mother or people will say she's a bad mother......I can list so many examples that prove this basic nature......after the Chef Vikas incident, she told NB she was happy her pic was published in the paper cuz she wanted to show Ashok how well she's doing without him......during the wedding track, one day she would take a bold stance of wanting to go back to the haveli before the wedding, and next day she would sit and cry about what the Khuranas must be thinking about her.  And she's always thrown tantrums when she feels backed into a corner.....she did it during the Poonam incident, she did it during the incident about returning the jewelery.....after the wedding, she didn't want Mini going to the Khuranas cuz she thought people would blame her for neglecting her kid.....she lashed out at Mini over Kammo insinuating that Mini is like Meeta....when she forgot Mini's birthday, she kept repeating "Log kya kahenge ki main buri maa hoon, apni beti ka birthday bhool gayi".....she kept pushing HS to be Mini's father cuz she wanted to prove a point to society ki look we are a perfect family.......and now, simply over instigation from Saroj, she is doing all manner of extreme things to "hold on" to her marriage...everything from all the poojas to the thought of having a baby with HS, all only occur to her cuz someone from society puts the thought in her head.....at every single point, what someone from society or outside has said to her has mattered more to her than her own family.....she has always given in to that line of thought.....like a devil whispering in her ear, this is her downfall every single time. 

As NB explained in the scene today.....society hai hi aisi cheez.....not everyone has the strength to overcome the riptide that tries to pull you under......Babita never exactly overcame this fully so it's not out of character to see her succumbing to it yet again.....her journey was inspiring but it didn't change her fundamental nature. There is no guarantee that the opportunity for independence can change a person's fundamental nature. 


Then there's HS ka nature.....he also stated facts today when he said it was easier for him to give gyaan to Babita when they didn't have a relationship....once love entered the equation, he felt restricted from being as frank with her.....this is HS ka achilees heel.....his love makes him more vulnerable and insecure about losing the people he loves so he starts holding back in order to preserve the status quo rather than thinking of the larger picture.  He has never claimed to be the ultimate hero with all the answers.....what I've always liked about him is his ability to acknowledge his shortcomings....he did the same today when Mini again told him he hasn't lived up to his own words.....this has happened many times before.....it has been easier for him to say something rather than apply it on himself when the time came.....a hero finds it easier to save the rest of the world rather than save himself. 


And then there's Mini.....fiesty and blunt....no holds barred. She has also always been like this, adamant about taking a stand and sticking to it, speaking her mind, come what may.....there are no grey areas for her about some things.....independence and identity especially. And so she's talking about the same things that she's always talked about with Babita....but this is a different version of Babita with the same fundamental traits....the previous Babita too was influenced by society but she didn't have a voice.....this one does.  So Mini doesn't know how to tackle her now....what do you do with a person who has found her voice but is applying it towards all the wrong reasons? 


The story is bringing all these threads together in this last week.....that is the sense I got today....the fundamental nature of all three characters was reiterated.....what brought them together and what pulls them apart. 

HS as always was impacted by Mini's words and tried to make a sacrifice of his own to help manage the situation.....but it all went for a toss with Babita exploding.  The very last scene of HS and Mini both trying to stop Babita from doing something hastily said everything about where this has culminated. This is not the first time Babita has done something in a hasty impulse....the difference this time is that there may not be a way out to pull back from the brink. 

Two things stayed with me after the epi.....

1) Mini's line to HS about the best husband preparing his wife for widowhood....she's gonna guilt trip over that one eventually.....a lesson to be learnt about blurting out sweeping statements casually.....you never know when they will come back to haunt you. Mini's sharp tongue will haunt her at some point. 

2) NB wishing ki Babita ki khushfehmi sach nikle......cuz if she turns out to be wrong, Babita is going to be the one left most hurt.....sadly that seems like an inevitability now.....Babita's inability to overcome the need to pander to society will be her ultimate downfall. 

Edited by AreYaar - a month ago
Posted: a month ago

Actually here the point is, that what was the point of this story? No matter how much reality do you stick to, there should be a certain graph of characters achieved through the course of a story. What's the point of narrating a tale to me and saying that see this is how they ended- where they'd begun. Then what's the damn point?

I know PB ain't a message board. But kuch toh socha hoga na story ke baare mein. Were they planning to show us how you can ruin your own life? This show was about a daughter giving her mother wings to fly, pushing her to live her own life. And this is how it ends up.

Image

It hurts now to see that people like Babita succumb to such issues in the course of their life, destroying their homes. Makes me afraid of life, reality and relationship issues.

One simple question to makers- what the heck have you achieved in these months and months of storytelling.

GODDAMN SICK.

Edited by Mannmohanaa - a month ago
Posted: a month ago

Originally posted by Mannmohanaa


Actually here the point is, that what was the point of this story? No matter how much reality do you stick to, there should be a certain graph of characters achieved through the course of a story. What's the point of narrating a tale to me and saying that see this is how they ended- where they'd begun. Then what's the damn point?

I know PB ain't a message board. But kuch toh socha hoga na story ke baare mein. Were they planning to show us how you can ruin your own life? This show was about a daughter giving her mother wings to fly, pushing her to live her own life. And this is how it ends up.

I don't know if it was just about reality or it was about showing the various paths that life can take......Babita's story is both inspiring as well as a cautionary tale. 

It's inspiring for the part where it showed her rising above her challenges and building her identity.....regardless of whatever her motivations were.....the fact that she did it is worth applauding and always will be....no one can take that away from hersmiley32

At the same time, there is a cautionary tale in her journey about how much society can corrode even a good person's nature, their life......Babita rose above a lot of things but she wasn't able to rise above society ki baatein.....and this is not far-fetched....some people are indeed unable to overcome this their entire lives and ultimately ruin their relationships because they allow outside influence to dictate their thoughts and choices.  It's easier said than done for many to be able to ignore logon ki baatein.....it gets to everyone in some way or the other. 

I'm not claiming to know exactly what the writers are thinking but to me, it looks like they wanted this story and journey to be about the pressures of society and how sometimes the victory is not as neat as one would like.....that inspiration in real life may not be as clear cut as we would like it to be.....there are many greys.  I don't know if they wanted to deliver a message or just give us some food for thought. 

Ofcourse none of the characters deserve a tragic ending after all this.....but I do feel the writers did lay the groundwork for this part of Babita's personality all along.......this "log kya kahenge" is not out of the blue......it has always brought her down. 

I just felt the NB-Mini convo today was quite nicely shown.....especially NB's dialogues. 

Posted: a month ago

Originally posted by AreYaar


This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think the writers are showing haphazard things in the last stretch of this season. 

Every thread ties back to things that have been shown periodically over this journey. 

The NB-Mini convo today was about this only. 

Babita overcame a lot of challenges and achieved many victories along the way in this journey of independence.....but time and time again, the one consistent thing she fell back to was - "Log kya kahenge"....or "Woh mere baare mein kya soch rahe honge?" .....so none of what she is doing now is out of character.....it's a more amplified side of the same fundamental strain running through her basic personality that she's never been able to overcome......good or bad, this is what drives her.....ki what will people think of her.....she needs to be good so that people think good of her....she needs to be strong to prove a point....she needs to be a wife to "fit in" to society.....she has a loving husband so now the whole world can see that she is no longer a divorcee or "outcast" in society.....she has to be a good mother or people will say she's a bad mother......I can list so many examples that prove this basic nature......after the Chef Vikas incident, she told NB she was happy her pic was published in the paper cuz she wanted to show Ashok how well she's doing without him......during the wedding track, one day she would take a bold stance of wanting to go back to the haveli before the wedding, and next day she would sit and cry about what the Khuranas must be thinking about her.  And she's always thrown tantrums when she feels backed into a corner.....she did it during the Poonam incident, she did it during the incident about returning the jewelery.....after the wedding, she didn't want Mini going to the Khuranas cuz she thought people would blame her for neglecting her kid.....she lashed out at Mini over Kammo insinuating that Mini is like Meeta....when she forgot Mini's birthday, she kept repeating "Log kya kahenge ki main buri maa hoon, apni beti ka birthday bhool gayi".....she kept pushing HS to be Mini's father cuz she wanted to prove a point to society ki look we are a perfect family.......and now, simply over instigation from Saroj, she is doing all manner of extreme things to "hold on" to her marriage...everything from all the poojas to the thought of having a baby with HS, all only occur to her cuz someone from society puts the thought in her head.....at every single point, what someone from society or outside has said to her has mattered more to her than her own family.....she has always given in to that line of thought.....like a devil whispering in her ear, this is her downfall every single time. 

As NB explained in the scene today.....society hai hi aisi cheez.....not everyone has the strength to overcome the riptide that tries to pull you under......Babita never exactly overcame this fully so it's not out of character to see her succumbing to it yet again.....her journey was inspiring but it didn't change her fundamental nature. There is no guarantee that the opportunity for independence can change a person's fundamental nature. 


Then there's HS ka nature.....he also stated facts today when he said it was easier for him to give gyaan to Babita when they didn't have a relationship....once love entered the equation, he felt restricted from being as frank with her.....this is HS ka achilees heel.....his love makes him more vulnerable and insecure about losing the people he loves so he starts holding back in order to preserve the status quo rather than thinking of the larger picture.  He has never claimed to be the ultimate hero with all the answers.....what I've always liked about him is his ability to acknowledge his shortcomings....he did the same today when Mini again told him he hasn't lived up to his own words.....this has happened many times before.....it has been easier for him to say something rather than apply it on himself when the time came.....a hero finds it easier to save the rest of the world rather than save himself. 


And then there's Mini.....fiesty and blunt....no holds barred. She has also always been like this, adamant about taking a stand and sticking to it, speaking her mind, come what may.....there are no grey areas for her about some things.....independence and identity especially. And so she's talking about the same things that she's always talked about with Babita....but this is a different version of Babita with the same fundamental traits....the previous Babita too was influenced by society but she didn't have a voice.....this one does.  So Mini doesn't know how to tackle her now....what do you do with a person who has found her voice but is applying it towards all the wrong reasons? 


The story is bringing all these threads together in this last week.....that is the sense I got today....the fundamental nature of all three characters was reiterated.....what brought them together and what pulls them apart. 

HS as always was impacted by Mini's words and tried to make a sacrifice of his own to help manage the situation.....but it all went for a toss with Babita exploding.  The very last scene of HS and Mini both trying to stop Babita from doing something hastily said everything about where this has culminated. This is not the first time Babita has done something in a hasty impulse....the difference this time is that there may not be a way out to pull back from the brink. 

Two things stayed with me after the epi.....

1) Mini's line to HS about the best husband preparing his wife for widowhood....she's gonna guilt trip over that one eventually.....a lesson to be learnt about blurting out sweeping statements casually.....you never know when they will come back to haunt you. Mini's sharp tongue will haunt her at some point. 

2) NB wishing ki Babita ki khushfehmi sach nikle......cuz if she turns out to be wrong, Babita is going to be the one left most hurt.....sadly that seems like an inevitability now.....Babita's inability to overcome the need to pander to society will be her ultimate downfall. 

Even i feel that all these traits in babita have been there from before. The examples you have given have showed that side of hers. But inspite of that she still cared for mini and her betterment. She still could see another point of view when explained. But right now she is all about this regressive, log kya kahenge stuff only. nothing else makes her up right now.

@ bold yes this version of babita has a voice. first her empowerment & now HS telling her that ghar me uski marji chaligi and all his ji hujiri have given a sense of entitlement that she can do anything. Its finally going to be her decision. She wants everyone to see only what her needs are. All the love that HS mini have given her to overcome her man ki gaanthe, she sees it as she is the one who has to be first attended to , her emotions come first. The earlier version of babita was meek and she could atleast do the right thing when someone forced her to. but this one cannot even if she is forced to. This version of babita wouldnt have walked out with mini. She would have stayed in the house saying mini to bachhi hai i wont spoil my married life and stay on and fight with ashok for his love like beeji wanted her to.

i think Babita HS will die together or there will be a less gap between their deaths. so babita widow banegi iske chances kam hai. yes but mini will be guilty or not being in touch for 5 years. Specially with HS that is if she has a major fallout with him before going. 

Regarding HS telling that he has some limits now that he has married babita is not true. Mini was right that it was he who could have made babita understand. Finances are something which have to be discussed between partners. He should have told her that he fell in love with the independent babita not this one. Also that he too with mini put so much effort in getting her independent so she is putting his efforts also to waste. He could have told her that minis education and all will need her earning also. Also the shop was bought at 10 L selling it at 2 L is a loss . He should have put his foot down saying he wont allow that. It would have been within his right to say all this. But no the way they are showing HS as helpless is beyond me. 

Posted: a month ago

I don't know or presume what the writers are thinking. But going by how this story is unfolding they might have thought to present PB as a slice of life kind of drama rather than the set-pattern TV shows we are used to.

There are mothers in real life who are reactionary and insular and self-absorbed like Babita is being depicted presently. Women who lose all their bearings once they taste freedom and all their hidden demons are exposed to the outside world. Women who are driven totally by their image in society and no price is too high to keep that image untarnished - even at the cost of sacrificing or mutilating the familial bonds that were closest to her. Women who become vindictive and vicious when they feel cornered or insecure.

There are also men who automatically take a submissive and deferential stance in a marriage for the sake of keeping peace and harmony at home. Men who might be otherwise righteous and free-spoken, taking the easy way out by keeping the contrary thoughts to themselves rather than rock the marital boat.

But, if PB creatives wanted it to be a realistic depiction of the seamier versions of humanity and their frailties, rather than portray the protagonists to have impeccable character and morals,  then they should have been more forthright in terming their show as such. It shouldn't have been given the tag-line of a woman gaining wings under the encouragement and support of her daughter. It seems like they have decided to change tracks mid course and that is why everyone who watched the show from beginning are upset. The words Babita used for Minnie that she is unhappy at her mom's happiness and she is trying to sabotage her marriage seems so far out from the left field that I am almost expecting the creators to come up with something like a brain tumor to explain her sudden shift to the dark side

Posted: a month ago

Originally posted by tantal


I don't know or presume what the writers are thinking. But going by how this story is unfolding they might have thought to present PB as a slice of life kind of drama rather than the set-pattern TV shows we are used to.

There are mothers in real life who are reactionary and insular and self-absorbed like Babita is being depicted presently. Women who lose all their bearings once they taste freedom and all their hidden demons are exposed to the outside world. Women who are driven totally by their image in society and no price is too high to keep that image untarnished - even at the cost of sacrificing or mutilating the familial bonds that were closest to her. Women who become vindictive and vicious when they feel cornered or insecure.

There are also men who automatically take a submissive and deferential stance in a marriage for the sake of keeping peace and harmony at home. Men who might be otherwise righteous and free-spoken, taking the easy way out by keeping the contrary thoughts to themselves rather than rock the marital boat.

But, if PB creatives wanted it to be a realistic depiction of the seamier versions of humanity and their frailties, rather than portray the protagonists to have impeccable character and morals,  then they should have been more forthright in terming their show as such. It shouldn't have been given the tag-line of a woman gaining wings under the encouragement and support of her daughter. It seems like they have decided to change tracks mid course and that is why everyone who watched the show from beginning are upset. The words Babita used for Minnie that she is unhappy at her mom's happiness and she is trying to sabotage her marriage seems so far out from the left field that I am almost expecting the creators to come up with something like a brain tumor to explain her sudden shift to the dark side

Yes such people exist even today and this is very common. Sadly CVs have shown both of them in babita & hanuman. babita ka i can understand because she has shown these traits. HS ke submissive traits i cant seem to accept. I am equally disappointed like mini to see if this is what he was all about.

And yes you have rightly said about babita loosing it when she tasted freedom. 

Posted: a month ago

Originally posted by AreYaar


This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think the writers are showing haphazard things in the last stretch of this season. 

Every thread ties back to things that have been shown periodically over this journey. 

The NB-Mini convo today was about this only. 

Babita overcame a lot of challenges and achieved many victories along the way in this journey of independence.....but time and time again, the one consistent thing she fell back to was - "Log kya kahenge"....or "Woh mere baare mein kya soch rahe honge?" .....so none of what she is doing now is out of character.....it's a more amplified side of the same fundamental strain running through her basic personality that she's never been able to overcome......good or bad, this is what drives her.....ki what will people think of her.....she needs to be good so that people think good of her....she needs to be strong to prove a point....she needs to be a wife to "fit in" to society.....she has a loving husband so now the whole world can see that she is no longer a divorcee or "outcast" in society.....she has to be a good mother or people will say she's a bad mother......I can list so many examples that prove this basic nature......after the Chef Vikas incident, she told NB she was happy her pic was published in the paper cuz she wanted to show Ashok how well she's doing without him......during the wedding track, one day she would take a bold stance of wanting to go back to the haveli before the wedding, and next day she would sit and cry about what the Khuranas must be thinking about her.  And she's always thrown tantrums when she feels backed into a corner.....she did it during the Poonam incident, she did it during the incident about returning the jewelery.....after the wedding, she didn't want Mini going to the Khuranas cuz she thought people would blame her for neglecting her kid.....she lashed out at Mini over Kammo insinuating that Mini is like Meeta....when she forgot Mini's birthday, she kept repeating "Log kya kahenge ki main buri maa hoon, apni beti ka birthday bhool gayi".....she kept pushing HS to be Mini's father cuz she wanted to prove a point to society ki look we are a perfect family.......and now, simply over instigation from Saroj, she is doing all manner of extreme things to "hold on" to her marriage...everything from all the poojas to the thought of having a baby with HS, all only occur to her cuz someone from society puts the thought in her head.....at every single point, what someone from society or outside has said to her has mattered more to her than her own family.....she has always given in to that line of thought.....like a devil whispering in her ear, this is her downfall every single time. 

As NB explained in the scene today.....society hai hi aisi cheez.....not everyone has the strength to overcome the riptide that tries to pull you under......Babita never exactly overcame this fully so it's not out of character to see her succumbing to it yet again.....her journey was inspiring but it didn't change her fundamental nature. There is no guarantee that the opportunity for independence can change a person's fundamental nature. 


Then there's HS ka nature.....he also stated facts today when he said it was easier for him to give gyaan to Babita when they didn't have a relationship....once love entered the equation, he felt restricted from being as frank with her.....this is HS ka achilees heel.....his love makes him more vulnerable and insecure about losing the people he loves so he starts holding back in order to preserve the status quo rather than thinking of the larger picture.  He has never claimed to be the ultimate hero with all the answers.....what I've always liked about him is his ability to acknowledge his shortcomings....he did the same today when Mini again told him he hasn't lived up to his own words.....this has happened many times before.....it has been easier for him to say something rather than apply it on himself when the time came.....a hero finds it easier to save the rest of the world rather than save himself. 


And then there's Mini.....fiesty and blunt....no holds barred. She has also always been like this, adamant about taking a stand and sticking to it, speaking her mind, come what may.....there are no grey areas for her about some things.....independence and identity especially. And so she's talking about the same things that she's always talked about with Babita....but this is a different version of Babita with the same fundamental traits....the previous Babita too was influenced by society but she didn't have a voice.....this one does.  So Mini doesn't know how to tackle her now....what do you do with a person who has found her voice but is applying it towards all the wrong reasons? 


The story is bringing all these threads together in this last week.....that is the sense I got today....the fundamental nature of all three characters was reiterated.....what brought them together and what pulls them apart. 

HS as always was impacted by Mini's words and tried to make a sacrifice of his own to help manage the situation.....but it all went for a toss with Babita exploding.  The very last scene of HS and Mini both trying to stop Babita from doing something hastily said everything about where this has culminated. This is not the first time Babita has done something in a hasty impulse....the difference this time is that there may not be a way out to pull back from the brink. 

Two things stayed with me after the epi.....

1) Mini's line to HS about the best husband preparing his wife for widowhood....she's gonna guilt trip over that one eventually.....a lesson to be learnt about blurting out sweeping statements casually.....you never know when they will come back to haunt you. Mini's sharp tongue will haunt her at some point. 

2) NB wishing ki Babita ki khushfehmi sach nikle......cuz if she turns out to be wrong, Babita is going to be the one left most hurt.....sadly that seems like an inevitability now.....Babita's inability to overcome the need to pander to society will be her ultimate downfall. 

@bold this line uttered by Mini is going to haunt her forever 

Posted: a month ago

Originally posted by tantal


 But, if PB creatives wanted it to be a realistic depiction of the seamier versions of humanity and their frailties, rather than portray the protagonists to have impeccable character and morals,  then they should have been more forthright in terming their show as such. It shouldn't have been given the tag-line of a woman gaining wings under the encouragement and support of her daughter. It seems like they have decided to change tracks mid course and that is why everyone who watched the show from beginning are upset. The words Babita used for Minnie that she is unhappy at her mom's happiness and she is trying to sabotage her marriage seems so far out from the left field that I am almost expecting the creators to come up with something like a brain tumor to explain her sudden shift to the dark side

Exactly. They should be honest about what they wanted to show. But then many of us would not have wasted time on this show where a woman started at zero, achieved something with help of people around her and got back to where she started. Initial hype around beti giving wings to mom was to lure viewers into watching  this show and it worked.

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