*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4

Hi Friends,

The previous thread has crossed 150 pages.. So here we go with the next thread.

Lets together enjoy this journey of writings with Satish in this thread.

Link for the previous thread are below.. 

**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163)

*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! 

*From To Sathish* - Thread 3

Nithya

IF Tamil Section Dev. team Member

Thanks nithya.I wish all the forum members the very best.

Hi,
                   if one of the administrators could please message me their email,i can mail them my pics from my new film and i request them to post them here and share them with all our forum members.I confess shamefully that i after all these years still don't know how to post pics or other stuff but for my words and thoughts in alphabets.

Please do send your e-mail to my inbox.Thank you.

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/tamil-nadu/biopic-on-mgr-to-hit-theatres-in-april/article20158882.ece

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/biopic-of-m-g-ramachandran-goes-on-the-floors/articleshow/61602436.cms

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/entertainment/kollywood/111117/cm-palaniswami-kickstarts-shooting-of-biopic-on-mgr.html

https://m.dailyhunt.in/news/india/english/deccan+chronicle-epaper-deccanch/edappadi+k+palaniswami+kickstarts+shooting+of+biopic+on+mgr-newsid-76179666

  Jannal oram 109

In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing-Antonio Porchia

There comes many a time in everyone's life when we lose control over the situations that we are sometimes forced into or find ourselves in unexpectedly,over our emotions and then we say something which only aggravates the situation and soon there is no turning back.

But then our hero,Raman was not that kind of typical and cliched person and he would never be that person and he stood calmly leaning on the wall lost in his thoughts and priya saw her brother's advocate stand quietly with his hands folded across his chest.

She looked at him wondering what to say or ask and then asked the inevitable question " Mr.raman,what is jeeva doing here and how long have you known jeeva?

Raman thought for a second if he should evade the question with a watered down version of the truth or totally and blatantly lie his way out of the question and wait for jeeva to come out and then answer it.But again Raman was not an ordinary person and since priya was shreekanth's sister,he gave her the same respect and privilege as her brother and answered her honestly " I have known jeeva for a few months now and she came here to see me on her way to work and we kind of live very close by and are practically neighbours."

The way he said jeeva's name and the manner in which his eyes shone when he said her name,immediately alerted priya to the fact that both of them were together.Cursing her timing and her bad luck,she glanced at Raman and wondered what he must be thinking or going through and then spent some time giving thought to her brother and jeeva and to the times when they were together.

If priya expected Raman to ask any questions about the whole thing that had just happened,she was disappointed and though she had a lot of unanswered questions,she drowned it in her own soul and both waited in the corridor,he leaning in on one wall and she leaning on the other one.

Then raman looked at priya " If jeeva should come out,please tell her that i will wait in the canteen and please inform shreekanth too and tell him that i will drop in later and talk to him in more detail."

Stepping closer to priya " ma'am,please tell him not to worry about anything and that i will handle this matter."

Just as he turned to leave,priya stopped him " Raman,i don't know what to make out of it but i saw two tough looking man prowling our street and standing near our gate.What should i do about them?"

Raman smiled reassuringly " Ma'am,those are men that i have sent to watch over you and the house and they are very good and so please don't worry for you are now in safe hands."

Jeeva still holding kutty jeeva entered the room in which Bharat lay and entered the room in which her past life was laid in a bed and she saw him lying on his side,facing the opposite side.

Old and young looked at each other wondering whether to wake him up and just when they both decided to let him rest more,Bharat aka shreekanth turned slowly,groaning in pain from the broken jaw and his eyes fluttered open and they opened and filled with both the jeeva's standing there staring at him.

He looked at her and then turning away he smiled to himself and mumbled words that carried to both of them " God,why are you torturing me like this,by showing me the woman i love and miss so much and the only woman i have ever truly loved? please let me be in peace and not let me start seeing her even when i am awake for then i will soon be in the loony bin,behind bars and in a strait jacket and there will be nobody to look after my jeeva."

Shaking his head and at the same time finding it amusing that he was talking to himself ,bharat turned around and froze and shock and fear filled his face for he now clearly saw his daughter too in the arms of the woman he had once loved and still loved and slowly,realisation began to spread into his mind and his lips opened " Jeeva,jeeva is it really you here standing before me? But what are you doing here and that too with my daughter in your arms?"

The door opened and his sister priya walked in and taking her niece from jeeva's hands looked at her " Please,can you give me a few minutes with my brother" and jeeva nodded and with a moments lingering gaze on bharat's face,slowly walked out and lost in her thoughts,pain cutting her into a millions pieces and totally out of control,she walked out of the hospital and got into an auto rickshaw and left.

Raman stood watching her for he knew that is what she would do and had left her to do so for sometimes it is better for a person to be left alone for them to have time to gather their wits and emotions and face the world and breathe again normally.

Raman smiled and just a bare hint of sadness flickered on his lips and in his eyes and watching the auto leave taking his soul and life in it,he whispered " i love you jeeva.I will love you until my last breath leaves this body."



Why? Who? What? Questions,Questions and no answers.Why does life throw such googlies that are unplayable?
Why does life bring people  together again? what happens to the people who are around the two?
what is right and what is wrong and who decides the fate of all lives and guides our daily lives?



Edited by deepak_satish - 6 years ago

                                         Jannal oram 110

Life is such a complicated affair and sometimes one has to bang his head silly against the wall to make sense of it.Just when you think that life is sailing smoothly on calm seas,out of the blue comes a thunderstorm and tosses you up and down and in all directions,leaving you broken,beaten and defeated.Just when you think you have the greatest and strongest person next to you,guarding you,protecting you and a shoulder that you can always rely on,lean on,that shoulder steps away and everything that you believed in is gone with the wind.

But are you right or wrong and honestly what is right and what is wrong and who is the best judge of these kind of questions and what is the right decision for when it comes to us mortal humans,opinions and differences are a surety,a must and does the best win or the strongest and loudest win.

Raman stood in the entrance watching jeeva leave and then the advocate Raman rose and sighing heavily,his feet turned towards the elevator while his mind thought how in a manner of half an hour,life had thrown such a boomerang and getting into the elevator,raman looked up thinking if the boomerang had been flung a long time back and had just landed,delivering its blow.

Remembering his parents,Raman thought he would call and check on them after he finished talking to shreekanth and then wondered about his client and what his reaction would be when he learnt that he knew jeeva and really well and how it was going to figure in the case that he was going to handle.

Then raman remembered the oath he took as an advocate to uphold the law and also to protect and defend his client,breathed more easy and entered the room in which shreekanth was in and the family of three looked at him.

Priya looked at him with a surprise written large on her face for she had thought that raman might have left not wanting to see her brother and that would have been all right,given the circumstance and yet here he was in the room and among them and only then the greatness of the man struck her and she thought to herself " your parents have rightly named you raman for you are as great as that ancient hero" and then she greeted him and offered him a cup of coffee.

Kutty jeeva ran towards raman,who effortlessly picked her up and held her tenderly in his arms and the little girl gave him the large bar of chocolates that she had bought to gift him.

Raman looked at the chocolate " Baby,why are you offering me your share of chocolates? " and kutty jeeva smiled " Mr.raman,i brought these chocolates as a gift for you for taking care of my dad.So,please take it and make us all happy."

Raman thanked her and was about to call her by her name,but found it difficult to mouth the words ' Jeeva' and composing himself,gently patted kutty jeeva's cheek and said " Little one,it is my duty to look after your father and so you see i was just doing my duty.But i will take a piece of chocolate if you agree to eat the rest."

Kutty jeeva slowly opened the bar of chocolate and breaking a piece placed it in raman's mouth and he in turn broke off a small piece and placed it in her mouth and both chewed on the chocolate and then raman looked at priya who taking the hint,left the room taking her niece with her.

Both men looked at each other and smiled and Raman asked shreekanth how he was feeling and shreekanth mumbled that the pain was bad and that the local anesthisia was just about keeping the full horror at bay.

Raman raised a hand " shreekanth,i will do the talking so as to save you from the pain that you feel when you talk,so listen and answer briefly in the end."

Shreekanth nodded and raman continued " The case has now become a criminal one and i will be filing an fir in the police station whose jurisdiction covers the Chennai citi center and once that is done,i will see how i can retrieve the camera footage that was inside landmark where this incident took place.And after that i am planning to go meet your father-in-law and see what he has to say for himself and about the attack on his own son-in-law."

Shreekanth listened and then mumbled " perfect and no,i have nothing to add or answer for i know me and my daughter are in safe hands."

Raman smiled and nodded " okay,now that is done,it is time i left and got started on this case."

Raman extended his hand and shreekanth took it in a firm grip and looking at him,raman with care " shreekanth,call me at anytime if you need anything or think of something to add to this case.All the best."

Raman turned to leave but shreekanth still held his hand and raman looked at sheekanth " jeeva,jeeva was here and she was here to see you" and before he could say more,Raman raised his hand again " shreekanth,that is not important right now and what is important is the welfare of you and your daughter and this case.We will talk about other stuff and that of personal nature when time permits but right now let us put all our efforts in you and your family and see who we can win this case."

Shreekanth stared at the closing door that raman had exited and saw his sister and daughter enter the same way and priya looked at him and shreekanth's face lit up with happiness and a glow both his daughter and sister had not seen for a long time and he told them " I finally saw jeeva again.Imagine that,meeting jeeva here and she was here,standing here and holding my daughter.Wow!"

Priya looked at the floor and thought " god,what is this game you are playing and what is this new story that you have begun to write just when everything seemed to be going well and just when all of us had found our roles to play and now you are mixing and muddling with the story.It does not matter for in the end,there will be tears,pain and broken souls."

We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts even if they don't stay in our lives.

  Redemption 226

"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly. ? Patrick Overton

Prime minister Jagannath mishra knew everything about Rudran as a father would know everything about his only son and he knew everything about renuka,her parents and yet he knew next to nothing about Rudran and his connection to an ancient and alien race.

But having known Rudran for so long,he had learnt via many experiences of that when it come to matters regarding him,it was best to be prepared and also expect the unexpected.That is why,he did not react or ask renuka how she knew it was he that was calling from the capital of India.

" Renuka.Please accept my apologies for calling you at this late hour but i had to for Rudran has given standing instructions that you are the next of kin and nominee if things happened to go bad."

Renu smiled and it the tinkling of her laughter worried the Prime minister and then he heard her say " Sir,you don't have to sugar coat anything when it comes to my Rudy and as a matter of fact i am aware that he is badly injured but still alive and that you and your men are caring for him."

The Prime minister leaned back to take in an absorb the words and it immediately prompted him to ask her " I am sorry renuka,but i had told his team members that i would do the talking for i consider it my duty since it was me who sent him on this mission.And yet,someone has already spoken to you,breaking protocol and my orders.I am sorry for that breach and i will find out who that person was and warn him not to do so again.But if someone has done that,it means they care a lot about you and their leader rudran."

Renuka laughed even louder " sir,Nobody called me from delhi and i swear it and i assure you that no one will dare go against your orders."

The prime minister was totally lost and clueless " But Renuka,how is it possible that you know all this when i myself only got to know about the situation a few minutes ago.What is going on ma'am?"

Renuka whispered softly " sir,please watch over him although he does not need watching over and protect him for he is the very light itself and the guardian of all that is good and true in this world.I will fly out to delhi to see him and i hope you can arrange for me to see him and be with him while he recovers from his injuries."

Prime minister Jagannath mishra thought for a moment " Renuka,can you please delay your trip for a few days for there is another person who rudran asked for just before he collapsed and the person he asked for has been contacted and is on his way to india right now.I will call you tomorrow with more updates and i request you to please be patient until then."

Renuka slowly placed her right hand on her stomach and deep inside her womb,their son glowed and she spoke into the phone " Sir,there is nothing you can do to help him and only my presence will help bring him back and that is why i am asking your permission to be there with him."

Prime minister Jagannath mishra hesitated for he was out of his depth and from what Gen.veer had reported,rudran had a knife buried in his brain and which was absolutely fatal and yet he hung on breathing and still alive and all this was not only a big mystery but totally confusing.

Then the phone he held close to his ear became warm and he felt a strange glow fill his mind and a voice whispered and he heard it and obeyed it.

" Okay renuka,please fly out to delhi and i will see that you are picked up and safely transported to the hospital in our army base.I will have someone contact you tomorrow morning and co-ordinate with your plans.I am truly sorry for this situation and i am sure that it will turn out okay and that both of you will get married soon with me their to give my blessings."

Renu thanked him and then the call ended and she placed the handset back in its cradle using both her hands cradled her womb in which lay the light that would soon guide them and bring them out of the darkness that had fallen on their family.


Gen.veer and major.param looked at each other and then stared at Rudran who lay inside the ICU with the large knife sticking out of his skull.

Major.param looked at his boss " sir,what did dr.otto mean by saying that he did not want rudran to be attached to any of the equipment that is inside the ICU."

Gen.veer singh cursed softly and looked at major.param " what or how should i know what is going in that Mossad doctor's head when i don't know a damn thing as to what is happening in front of my eyes."

Angrily,he pointed to rudran through the thick glass " That man should be dead for it is not possible to survive such a serious injury.Okay let us forget that and let us think back and recollect that large leopard which was as big as a tiger and please tell me what is was doing walking with rudran if not shepherding him and guarding him while waiting to hand him over him safely to us."

Placing both his hands and then resting his forehead on the glass,Gen.veer singh banged his head against the glass and then turning to major.param " Come lets go to the canteen and see if a bottle of good rum is still available at this late hour."

The bottle was opened and a corporal who was assigned to serve both of them poured two large pegs of rum  into their glasses stepped away and stood at a discreet distance.

Gen.veer downed his drink and then poured another one and downed that too and the rum sat in his belly burning a flame and soon the spirits of the red alcohol spread all over and into his mind and into deeper matters.

Taking a deep breath,Gen.veer took out a cigar and biting off the tip,lit it up and blew a puff of fragrant smoke all over the canteen and major.param saw that the two large rounds had calmed his spirits and he took another sip from his drink.

Gen.veer singh looked at Major.param " Param,earlier you were all curious about that attack on prime minister a few years ago and you wanted to know how rudran knew about the attack and how he managed to kill nearly 30 highly trained terrorists single handedly.But do you know that he was shot nearly 10 to 12 times and he still managed to live and also managed to kill every single one of the terrorists."

Major.param's jaw opened wide,amazed at this new information from his boss " sir,what are you saying sir? rudy was shot several times.But then how was he able to carry on still take on the terrorists."

Gen.veer singh " lights and magic,my boy.Lights and magic.These were the very words that every soldier in his team used and yet no one knows how to describe it or explain it."

major.param shaking his head " lights sir,what lights? you mean flashlights or searchlights?"


Prime minister Jagannath mishra sat in his office lost in thoughts about rudran and also what renuka had told him and whispered " what did she mean when she said lights and that rudran is the one true light? god rudy,nothing is normal when it comes to you and your family."

Renuka looked at her dad,Kandaswamy mudaliyar " dad,can i borrow the jet for i will be flying out to delhi to see rudran tomorrow."

Kandaswamy nodded " renu,why should you ask permission to take what is yours and my son-in-laws.But please,can i come with you" and renu nodded " sure dad.maybe it is all for the good."

Deep in her womb,the prince who would one day be king,kicked and bloomed a glow and renu looked at her dad " i guess rudran's mum will be coming along too."



I am here.I have always been here.I am fire and i am water. I am hell and i am heaven and i will bring peace to you.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

                                        Jannal oram 111

"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity. Eleanor Roosevelt


Life and living it is by itself an arduous task and getting anywhere in it and that too with success is a real uphill battle.Now throw in love to go along with it and well things start to get real confusing and bad very soon.The fundamental thing that differentiates  man and woman is our very nature and that is determined by our hormones and our bodies
In the best case scenario,one of the partner allows the other in the relationship or marriage to take the dominant role and they go along happily and content.But in many case scenarios,trouble brews in paradise when both are alphas and feel the need to dominate and rarely do these couples last long.

In my brief time on earth,i have seen quite a few couples break up,break up badly,break up and then turn around and say that it was the best thing for both of them.Many who break up prefer to stay single for they don't want to lose their hard earned independence that they have regained.

I could wax and wane about this whole relationship topic but then that will take up the time i need to write this chapter and more over,each of us have a different tale to tell about our relationships and their highs and lows.



                                          Head or heart

Raman's lips were stuck in a state of a sad smile for try as hard as he could,he realised that there was just no reasoning with life and the twists and turns it took in each of its occupants lives.

His recollected the day before and how it had started with the wedding and meeting his old college colleague Vijaya bhaskar and how it had then progressed to him and jeeva in the car and how he had kissed her lips,breasts and how he had felt her and then his thoughts went to the night as they all stood together,one big happy family and then everything had changed and here he was just 12 hours later,driving back alone while jeeva had gone on to her office alone and shreekanth lay in the hospital bed alone,hurt and his heart raging with god knows what all emotions and memories on meeting jeeva again.

Lost in all the thoughts,Raman slowly turned the corner and was shocked and also pleasantly surprised to see Jeeva standing there in the shade of the small neem tree that was just near the gate.

Raman quickly parked his car along the compound wall and ran towards her " jeeva,are you all right? what are you doing here for i saw you get into the auto and leave?"

She looked at him,her eyes red and swollen and then nodded " I was going to the office and then turned the auto when it was halfway there and told him to bring me here."

Raman opened the gate and gently took her arm and led her into the house and made her sit down on the sofa and then went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water and while she drank it,he quickly made two cups of coffee and bringing it out placed it on the table.

The quiet of the house was filled only with his steady heartbeat and hers which raced at the speed of sound and both sat quietly looking at the steam that rose from the coffee cups and hovered and danced like crazy spirits and Raman thought to himself that it reflected their own spirits at that moment.

Raman broke the silence " shreekanth is going to be okay although he needs to go through a minor surgery for his broken jaw.It is going to be painful and he might not be able to talk for a few weeks.But he will recover perfectly and there is not going to be any permanent damage."

Jeeva looked at him and raman saw a strange new emotion,a new angry light in her eyes and yet her voice remained calm,steely calm " are you talking about shreekanth your client or about Bharat who i knew once,very long ago."

Raman smiled at this rather unwanted and sarcastic words of jeeva and not knowing how to handle her when she was in this mood,he preferred to stay quiet and hold his thoughts and words to himself.

But Jeeva seemed to think otherwise and picking up the cup that steamed coffee,she looked at him over the rim of the cup and raman saw her beautiful eyes through the steam and knew that it was not the jeeva he knew and loved who sat before him,but someone else and decided that he would stay calm and quiet for both their sakes and listen to her until she was spent and drained of her anger.

Jeeva continued to look at him " Don't you want to know about me and bharat? no questions,nothing raman.Are you going to play the role of a calm and collected person even at this moment?"

Raman shook his head " even at this moment.What is special about this moment jeeva? what has changed from yesterday or even today when you kissed my lips as were climbing the stairs and what,that was just an hour ago.So,what has changed and what is this moment about? you are still jeeva and i am still raman and i love you more than life itself and i am sure that you love me as much.Right sweetie."

Jeeva nodded and then calmly placing her cup on the table,she looked all over the house and then looked at raman " both our parents have gone to kanchipuram and i am sure they will not be back before evening."

Raman nodded " yes,and my dad said that there is a chance that they might also go to tirutani murugar temple which is not very far off and just about 60 kms away.So,yes they will came back pretty late."

If raman thought that the situation was getting better with jeeva making small talk,he was in for surprise for jeeva suddenly stood up and went and closed the front doors and then stood staring at him and he stared back and the house was in total silence,now cut off from even the distant traffic noises and bird calls.

Jeeva smiling beautifully walked towards him and came and stood before him and gently taking his hands placed them on her breasts " I want you to make love to me."


"Imagine you come upon a house painted brown. What color would you say the house was?"
"Why brown, of course."
"But what if I came upon it from the other side, and found it to be white?"
"That would be absurd. Who would paint a house two colors?"
He ignored my question. "You say it's brown, and I say it's white. Who's right?"
"We're both right."
"No," he said. "We're both wrong. The house isn't brown or white. It's both. You and I only see one side. But that doesn't mean the other side doesn't exist. To not see the whole is to not see the truth.
Megan Chance,

                                                       Jannal oram 112

Buddha's doctrine: Man suffers because of his craving to possess and keep forever things which are essentially impermanent... this frustration of the desire to possess is the immediate cause of suffering.


                                   
I have known for sometime now that the world is divided into two and that is male and female.forget religions,forget castes,forget class,money,haves and have nots for they are all material bound and so immaterial.But the division of male and female is real,clear and present and is the essence of mother nature's creation.Making these two and taking them and putting them together to love,hold,reproduce and create is surely a kind of joke,a cruel joke and i guess you readers will understand for in all your lives,there must have come a time when you spoke for example in french and your partner for example spoke in Russian.

Both of you speak,both of you say and then look at each other in frustration and yell,scream and ask loudly " what are you saying? what do you want from me?" and then walk away.

So man speaks in man tongue and a woman speaks in woman tongue and no wonder there is so much of contradictions,fights,troubles,divorces,suicides,murders in this world.And if you take into account the meek and weak who are powerless to express themselves in a marriage for their partner's voice drowns their cries and tears of fears.

So,here we are in a very important juncture and i stress on the word important for whether one realises it or not,the ancient and wise words of Thiruvalluvar holds fort today and will forever.

Theeyinal sutta punn aarume
aarathe,naavinaal sutta vadu

I guess all of you are pretty familiar with this kural and with tamil and yet i will be bold and impertinent enough to explain this gem of a thought and that which was written nearly 2,000 years ago.


The wounds and injuries caused by fire will heal in time.But the wounds caused by harsh words will never heal.


                                  Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus  


Raman looked at Jeeva and then slowly removed his hands that she held over her breasts and stepped back and shook his head " Sorry.I am really sorry but no,not now."

Jeeva felt something tear and break in her soul and her eyes flashed in anger and sorrow " why? why are you refusing me? you don't love me? you don't want me?"

Raman looked at her and jeeva saw the barest hint of sadness and confusion in his eyes as he calmly with a soft voice " Please jeeva,you know how much i love you and how much i desire you."

Jeeva stepped forward,close,real close and her breasts felt warm on his chest and now with tears in her eyes,she looked into his " Yes, i know how much you love me.So then,prove it to me by making love to me.It is what both of us wanted and so here i am before you,your girl,your soul asking you to take me and make me yours."

Raman took his time and then with a patient smile,he cupped jeeva's face " Baby,I am sorry but i am not in the mood right now and i know it will anger you for hearing me say this.But both of us are tired,confused and maybe we should step back and just talk and work this situation out."

Jeeva's voice thundered " I don't know about you but i am clear in my head and in my heart and i know that i want you and here i am,a woman asking her man,begging her man to make love to her."

Raman's irritation showed in his voice " I am sorry jeeva,but our love and our lives is not only about what you want or need but what we both need" and jeeva nodding " okay advocate,what is your need right now?"

Raman knew exactly how this was going to end and he knew that it was futile to try to back away and get away from the argument that was surely going to end in a fight and his only concern was that it would leave permanent damage on both their souls.Cracks usually widened and became chasms that put partners on the opposite sides creating a distance so vast that even communications could not reach and breach their walls.

If Raman thought he could somehow manage to diffuse the situation and make jeeva see reason,then he was sadly mistaken for she now shifted gears and forged ahead " Raman,in all our times together,there were many times when i kind of broached the subject of my past and the person who i had once loved and tried to tell you about the circumstances in which we broke up.But you said you were not interested in my past and that it should remain buried in the past and i felt my respect increase more for you for being so understanding but now looking back,i think that you said that because you did not care enough to know about my past and also did not give a damn as to who or what i was before i met you."

Raman nearly lost his cool and thought for a second that it would be better if he walked out of the house and gave her time to calm down but knew that he was just postponing the inevitable words and also felt that he needed to defend his decision that he had made and looking directly into her eyes " I am sorry that you feel that way but i stand by my words that i said then and please let me also make it abundantly clear as to why i said so."

Fingers clenched together,Raman sat down and still with his eyes on her " I guess most men would be curious about their lovers past as most women would be about their mans past.But we are neither and i knew from the beginning that your past love had given you a lot of pain and stress and i did not want you to remember that bitter times and hurt yourself you more.And please remember that all of us do what we have to do and i did what i felt was the decent and fair thing to do and also because i loved you so much and could not bear to see you sad even for a moment.Can you please understand that before you throw words out that you will regret later."

Jeeva looked at him " perfectly said.But did you give a thought to my mind and that i would have felt better once we had discussed everything and how relieved i would have been to have my conscience clear and burden free."

Raman stood up " Jeeva,why are we even discussing all this now.Nothing has changed and there is no power in this world that can change how i feel about you. I loved you since the moment i met you and i will love you until i die.So why are you forcing me to answer all these questions when you know you damn well how i feel about you."

Jeeva screamed at the top of her voice " Okay,so prove it to me by taking me to your bedroom and making love to me.You are taking the woman who you love and rightfully belongs to you and so why all this talk and hesitation."

Raman raised his voice and it was a voice that jeeva had never heard before and it was a voice filled not only with anger but sorrow " Because the woman who is before me is not the jeeva i love and respect so much.Because the jeeva here in this hall is rushing into a situation just because she has panicked and because her past has caught up with her and she does not know how to face it and respond to it.And that i find really sad and shameful."

jeeva stepped back as if she had been slapped by raman although she felt his words were more painful than a slap " Shameful,is that what you feel when here i stand before you totally lost,confused and emotionally vulnerable not knowing what has hit me and i lean on you,look up to you for help and you are brushing me away by saying that i am shameful."

She picked up her handbag and looked at him " raman,you are a bloody great lawyer but you are still a man and like all men have no clue as to what a woman wants or is thinking."

She began to walk and then stopping,slowly turned around and looked at him " Raman,like that great hero raman,who suspected his wife for the time spent in captivity,you just did the same thing but more worse and that is doubted my intentions and did not stop and think as to what great storms are raging in my already burdened soul.You judged me but i will not."

Raman stood watching the world outside as the doors lay open to his house and as his heart lay open,and watched jeeva walk out of the house and walk out of his life.

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

  Edited by deepak_satish - 6 years ago

  Jannal oram 113

Tears falling,falling
heart fluttering,fluttering
my love, departing


Raman stood as jeeva had left him and he stood for a few minutes in the light of the doorway and then his feet bereft of slippers or shoes walked and followed his heart and he came quickly hoping to catch jeeva before she went out of his sight.But it was too late for she had turned the corner and turned him into a piece of jelly.

Raman had never been in love before and so he had no clue as to what was happening to his mind and more importantly to his body.His throat felt parched and dry and his heart felt a strange sharp pain,his limbs felt heavy and weak and his eyes burnt with unshed tears.

He stood outside the gate staring at the street not knowing what to do or how to go handle this situation and he stood with his lips mumbling " Jeeva,what did i do wrong? I thought calmly and boldly for both of us and yet here i am and there you are,suddenly feeling lost and lonely and strangers."

In the neem tree,a few branches above,the mother crow noisily pushed food down the baby crow's pink mouth and squawking and cawing mother and baby crows looked down with their beady eyes twinkling and they looked down the world below.

The smaller baby crow,a miniature of its parent,shuffled closer and closer until their bodies touched each other and black and black merged and they sat as one.

The baby crow looked down and cooed gently to its mother " Amma,why is that man standing there staring wildly at the street ahead of him?"

The mother crow " his heart is broken child.And he is feeling for the first time the effect of a broken heart."

The baby crow was confused " but who broke his heart and why did they break it mother?"

The mother crow kept looking at raman who stood staring at the ground and at his bare feet " Love broke it my son and his love for that woman who ran out broke it and so he is hurting from it."

The baby crow " Amma,you are a woman and does that mean you will break my heart too?"

The mother crow cawed loudly and throwing its wing over its nearly adult son and hugging him closely " Never child.A mother very rarely hurts her child.But then son,there come other women into a mans life and they are all not like his mother and their love is totally another."

" What will happen  to him mother? How will he live with a broken heart?"

The mother crow turned and stared at raman down below " They mend themselves my child and they are healed again by the kisses and love of the one who broke it or someone else usually comes along with a better love and a better glue that will seal and heal the cracks and breaks of a hurting heart."

The november rain came swiftly,carried by dark rain clouds and they slowly let loose their burdens all over chennai and raman turned his face upward into the clouds and heavens above and whispered " what am i supposed to do now? Is this what love all about? is there no right and wrong in love and is there something called true and perfect love."

And as if laughing at this question thrown up at them,the clouds laughed loudly with thunder and roared their seemingly hidden answers.

The same rain caught Jeeva before she reached home and instead of running,she walked soaking herself as if she was trying to cleanse herself of the pain and hurt that she was feeling and her tears mingled with the rain and only then it struck her that she had goofed up and goofed up pretty badly.

She had only thought about herself and not about both of them and then she realised that what raman had said and had done was right but why had he not understood what she was going through and what she had needed at that point when they stood facing each other.




Have no fear in your heart
though you feel you've been broken and lost
there's a place where we will meet up again
there's a place that mends your hurt and takes you in
there are times faced alone
when you find all the holes in yourself
you don't have to walk the night on your own
I will say a prayer for you to lead you on
I will say a prayer for you when you have gone

Bird York - Have No Fear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB_pbLt7ijk

                                Jannal oram 114

In the morning when you wake up
I like to believe you are thinking of me

And when the sun comes through your window
I like to believe you've been dreaming of me

I know cause I'd spend half this morning
Thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in

I should know cause I'd spend all the whole day
Listening to your message I'm keeping and never deleting

When I saw you,Everyone knew
I liked the effect that you had on my eyes

But no one else heard,The weight of your words
Or felt the effect that they have on my mind



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM60hSMqIkI

The Fault in Our Stars I Birdy - Tee Shirt I Official Video

Raman felt the chill of the rain seep into his bones and slowly sink its icy claws into his heart and then a sliver of sun shone like a soliataire diamond and the light cut through the fog of sadness and pain and turning his face to the sun,he took a deep breath and told the sun 'Rome ne s'est pas faite en un jour ' meaning Rome wasn't Built in a Day' and he knew that he was telling himself and in a way telling both of them,although jeeva was not there to hear him say that.

The moment he understood and realised that things like fights,difference of opinions will happen and should happen,he also knew that when two good and kind people are involved,matters are usually settled and resolved in mutual satisfaction.

He decided that he would wait for a few hours before trying to reach out to jeeva and make things better and then quickly ran a mental checklist as to what he was going to do next.

He quickly ran into the house and the baby crow huddled next to its mother looked up " Mother,that poor man looked so sad and was crying like i do when you go away leaving me all alone searching for food and yet now he looks more happy and the rain has stopped and the sun is coming out once again."

The mother crow with a twinkle in its eye,softly pecked and nuzzled its baby " but when i come back with food and feed you,Don't you stop crying and beging to dance and jump all over the branches.That is the same way that man is reacting for what went away has come back to his soul even if that other person is not physically there next to him."

The baby crow totally lost " amma,it sounds so complicated and confusing.God,please dont make me a human in my next birth."

Both sat shaking their feathers and in the process shrugged off the water that had dropped on them through the leaves and branches of the neem tree.

Back in the house,raman quickly showered and changing into his advocate clothes,hurriedly made a call to his boss,Krishnaswamy iyer and informed him of the previous night attack on shreekanth and also told him that he was first going to the mount road police station to file an FIR and then most probably go see the minister himself and then take it from there.

Mr.krishnaswamy iyer took some time to think and then told raman " Ram,i stress that this is not an ordinary garden variety case and so please take all matters into account and also please protect yourself at all times."


Raman thanked his boss and then made a call to his dad and shaktivel answered immediately " Iyya,ram,is everything okay.How is your client doing?"

Raman told his dad that his client had been injured but it was nothing serious and that he would soon be discharged.But his dad was wise and told raman to be careful and not to take any risks without knowing what the depths were.

Raman got into his car and made his way towards Mylapore police station for chennai citi center fell under that stations jurisdiction and parking his car walked into the police station.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

The Lumineers - Sleep On The Floor

Edited by deepak_satish - 6 years ago