Why queens did not attend weddings in Treta Yuga

RamKiSeeta thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Queens did not attend weddings in the treta yuga. This was not a ritual that just Ayodhya followed, but all of Aryavrat. SKR wrongly pointed this out as a difference in Ayodhya's customs. If Raja Janak had a son, Sunaina wouldn't have attended the wedding in the princess's kingdom.

The reason behind this custom is that the queens' main role in all the wedding festivities was to welcome the bride on her return home. They would take care of all the arrangements at their own home, and once they welcomed the bride, other post-wedding rituals would follow which they were in charge of.

The role of women in weddings was different. While a princess was still in her natal home, it was the duty of the mother of the bride to oversee all the wedding arrangements, and after the wedding, it was the role of the mother of the groom to take over. This symbolized the transition of a woman from maiden to wife.

Today, many MILs demand that the wedding should take place as per their wish, and they complain about this arrangement and that, but in the vedic times, the wedding was done as per the wish of the bride's side. The bride's mother chose all the arrangements, and the role of the groom's father was simply as a mute spectator. He would take the bride and groom home with him, but until he did, the bride's side was in charge of all the arrangements.

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sumedha93 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

Queens did not attend weddings in the treta yuga. This was not a ritual that just Ayodhya followed, but all of Aryavrat. SKR wrongly pointed this out as a difference in Ayodhya's customs. If Raja Janak had a son, Sunaina wouldn't have attended the wedding in the princess's kingdom.

The reason behind this custom is that the queens' main role in all the wedding festivities was to welcome the bride on her return home. They would take care of all the arrangements at their own home, and once they welcomed the bride, other post-wedding rituals would follow which they were in charge of.

The role of women in weddings was different. While a princess was still in her natal home, it was the duty of the mother of the bride to oversee all the wedding arrangements, and after the wedding, it was the role of the mother of the groom to take over. This symbolized the transition of a woman from maiden to wife.

Today, many MILs demand that the wedding should take place as per their wish, and they complain about this arrangement and that, but in the vedic times, the wedding was done as per the wish of the bride's side. The bride's mother chose all the arrangements, and the role of the groom's father was simply as a mute spectator. He would take the bride and groom home with him, but until he did, the bride's side was in charge of all the arrangements.


Rightly said. It was not only Treta Yug, I know many families where still the practice is followed and it wasn't only for queens or mother of the groom. No lady from family of groom used to go with Barat as they were supposed to make arrangements for the welcome of the newly wed.
Edited by sumedha93 - 9 years ago
radianteyes. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
This was a much needed info thanks for sharing di .
I was pestering my family with this question for some time even some areas of Bihar and UP still follow the tradition .
Frosty_Moon thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Thanks dear...
Most needed information you shared..
Even I was thinking why the rituals for women in both kingdoms poles apart...
Now cleared...
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
I know this custom exists in many communities. But in my community this change is taken care in the mandap itself. In my community the marriage happens at the bride's side. Bride wears a saree that is from her maayka. There are some rituals before Kanyadan and varmala and the girl and the boy stand face to face till Mangalsutra is tied. Till the varmala ceremony girl's parents will be in the mandap. Once varmala done, there is a ritual called gothra change where thread is tied around mandap with girl's side and boy's side all elders holding the ends. After this mangalsutra is tied and the girl is asked to stand in the left side of the groom. Then women from boy's side take over. The MIL puts a saree over the bride's head. We called it Muhurtha saree, followed by the groom's sisters gifting the bride with saree and the astha mangalya. Then MIL takes the bride to change the saree and the saptha pati and other rituals including grihapravesh happens in this saree from groom's side. So that saree change is the transition for the bride from her maayka to sasural.
So yes I understand the ritual, but for me since this happens in my community I feel a mother can get the chance to see her son's wedding and bless the couple along with taking care of arrangement also.
DilMereSuntaNhi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Thanks for making this post.
Really informative .
jayvenk thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Shruthi what u have described is very typical south Indian wedding amongst brahmins.
The gothra change is the actual muhurtham
Arshics thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
I recently attended a wedding where the grooms mother was not allowed to attend the wedding, infact it was considered ashubh if she would see any wedding ritual.
Of course, I found it rather amusing, as she and other women came with the baraat, and happily enjoyed themselves dancing all night to all Bollywood numbers, were given royal treatment being the sasural of the bride. None of us or them were aware of the reason why, just that it was a bad omen for the mother of the groom to see the wedding!

I am sure the reason must've been as you've described - to stay back to welcome the bride, but that was not the way it happened ! 😆
Nonie12345 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Interesting information
I wondering about this custom when I was seeing the show now my doubt got cleared
RamKiSeeta thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
@Shruthi,
Nowadays, this custom is not followed by 95% people. I actually haven't heard of communities today where groom's mother does not attend the wedding, but I guess some people still follow it.

Another reason this custom may have been prevalent in those times is that distances between kingdoms was large, and when women (particularly queens) travelled between kingdoms, they would not travel on foot or horses. They would travel in palanquins guarded by soldiers, so it would make travel between kingdoms a lot slower. Whereas Kings and princes traveled by horse (or chariot) so they reached places a lot faster. Women may not have attended sons' weddings since travel would take too long, but welcoming home the bride properly was the main reason they stayed back.

It wasn't an anti-woman issue that SKR writers are making it out to be. Not everything has to be shown as an anti-woman issue. Ayodhya wasn't that oppressive. It was like other kingdoms. Even Mithila was the same. It wasn't this super progressive 21st century kingdom that it's shown to be in the show.

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