Marriage is not a relation to one person- Sita - Page 3

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Ramyalaxmi

@Ramyalaxmi

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

@Jaya: I agree but the blame putforth was by both men and women in my family. So finally equality played its role there. Its an art of life to balance all the relations. Edited by Ramyalaxmi - 8 years ago

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avalonhigh1234

@avalonhigh1234

Senior Member

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

A very relevant post for these times, Shruthi. I loved Sita's comment as I agree with it completely.I remember my mom telling me that till my new family came to know and understand me,I should follow 3 simple steps-stop,pause,react! And till our relationship took off not to discuss the snags with her or anyone else.I followed her advice and 18 yrs down the lane ,my bond with them is strong and beautiful.

The scene between Urmila and Lakshman was peppy,liked it.

Are they dragging their heels till the ME to move the story forward?

Savita

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

@savitha ME most probably will have the high voltage drama. I guess after the high octane drama last week CVs would have decided to give some light hearted episodes, setting stage for the next step.

I somehow feel Manthara will ask Kaikeyi to engineer marriage of Bharat and Mandavi as she has come to know Sita is an adopted daughter. She might think since Sita is adopted Raja Janak kept such a tough swayamvar so that someone will take her as the trophy. Manthara will take Sita doesn't have any power to bring strength to Ram . So in Bharat's interest it will be better to strike an alliance between Mandavi daughter of the king of Sangharsha and to ward of any suspicion the alliance will be proposed for the remaining 3 brothers.

I was wondering why it was not Urmila for Bharath, because in chronological order ideally it has to be Urmila for Bharath and Mandavi for Lakshman. But if the marriage is engineered based on power Mandavi for Bharath looks more plausible. Also Kaikeyi may be able to relate to pompous Chandrabagha than the simple Sunaina.

Edited by shruthiravi - 8 years ago

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deejagi

@deejagi

IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

@ Shruthi, it is not like the younger generation doesn't understand the meaning of Joint family there are so many parents who fear to give their daughter to a joint family for a simple reason that she will not be free to live her life as she pleases means she can't oversleep till noon, she can't have late night parties, she will have to inform her in laws whenever she has to go out etc. and most critical for them is that she may have to cook for more than 2 people and if they stay alone (only husband & wife), even if she doesn't cook it is ok as they can order something from outside or go out and eat. If my mother gives me this education, there is no guaranty that I will get used to joint family or if my brother over hears this advise from his mom to his sis, he is assured of what he needs to do after his marriage.

I am lucky to born in a joint family where I was not even aware of who my real father was (the love my uncles showered on me was so great that they never made me feel they are my uncles) till I was 5 years old and the other reason was that I used to call my uncle (my father's immediate brother) also as appa. My parents used to stay in Mysore while I used to stay with my grand parents and uncles, so I used to call my uncle as Appa and my father as Mysore Appa. Even after I learnt the meaning of biological father and uncle, the love and affection didn't change and so was their love for me and my sisters even after their marriage and their own kids were born. So I was so used to be with people that when the marriage talks started at home, all I wanted was a groom who has parents, brother and sisters ( acomplete joint family) and all my friends who heard this was shocked like as if they saw a ghost in me 😆😆 but that was the only demand I had placed in front of my father & brother in laws when they thought of groom search.

I am lucky enough to get a proposal from a joint family (as I wished) and the only request I put forth in front of my father in law was that I would like to work and they should not ask me to quit and later if I quit for some reason, they should not question on my decision. he was surprised but asked me only one question, will that tax me if I have to do house hold core and a job but he was happy with my open request and convinced my MIL that she should never trouble me with my work related time. You wont believe, but he had advised my hubby (his son) that he should not feel insecure or start doubting me as I will be working with male colleagues and that should not affect our marriage. If he (his son) is not that strong, then it is better he stopped the marriage as he doesn't want to hurt the feelings of a girl. Its not only me, we all the 5 DILs (my family consists of 5 sons and a daughter) are well taken care and are always supported by my in laws and the sons always complain that DILs are more important than their own sons. Now we live in different houses due to our jobs but the festivals are celebrated together like each festival will be celebrated in one house and other 4 families will join there and the crowd will be not less than 30 people per meal and sometimes, if the extended families also join means it will be anywhere around 50, but we enjoy that.

We respect the elders and adore the youngers, normally on my FILs birthday, we will make him feel proud (now he is 80) that he didn't falter in choosing DIL & SIL as we share a cordial relationship and this whole family (30 people) had attended my Nieces wedding (my biological sister's daughter and for them it is the 2nd generation relation) last summer for the whole 4 days and the moment the wedding date was fixed, they had started planning their holidays and their sarees and jewelry to be worn. So it is like a big fat family of 70 odd people and my friends joke at me saying we don't need outsiders or friends to celebrate any function as we are more than required people for any small functions. That is the bond of a joint family

Edited by deejagi - 8 years ago

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561110

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@savitha ME most probably will have the high voltage drama. I guess after the high octane drama last week CVs would have decided to give some light hearted episodes, setting stage for the next step.

I somehow feel Manthara will ask Kaikeyi to engineer marriage of Bharat and Mandavi as she has come to know Sita is an adopted daughter. She might think since Sita is adopted Raja Janak kept such a tough swayamvar so that someone will take her as the trophy. Manthara will take Sita doesn't have any power to bring strength to Ram . So in Bharat's interest it will be better to strike an alliance between Mandavi daughter of the king of Sangharsha and to ward of any suspicion the alliance will be proposed for the remaining 3 brothers.

I was wondering why it was not Urmila for Bharath, because in chronological order ideally it has to be Urmila for Bharath and Mandavi for Lakshman. But if the marriage is engineered based on power Mandavi for Bharath looks more plausible. Also Kaikeyi may be able to relate to pompous Chandrabagha than the simple Sunaina.

Shruti, I too had the same thing in my mind. How come Lakshman gets married to Urmila. Now I got the answer. This has to be Manthara's politics.

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avalonhigh1234

@avalonhigh1234

Senior Member

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Yes Shruthi

I also feel that Kaikeyi is the one who chooses Mandavi as she is the eldest daughter of a king and as such would prove to be an asset in furthering her own ambitions wrt Bharath. Actually Manthra makes me uncomfortable as you do find her kind of people in all walks of life and sooner or later in a weaker moment may just overcome our good sense.It is better to avoid that kind of company...😛

Savita

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

@jaya I admire you and maybe your practical knowledge comes from all the personal experience you had in your maayka and sasural both are joint families.

As I said I was born in joint family and is very much attached to all my uncles and aunts. And my husband's house is though not exactly a joint family is the one with 4 siblings. 3 sisters. So festival time is really gala in my husband's place. One thing I know is that coming to work in a properly managed joint family work is properly divided. In my marital home for all functions mostly all family members and extended family members will be there around 25-30 people and mostly my elder SIL will be in charge of kitchen. She perfectly distributes work knowing each person's strength. And on most occasions I am not given kitchen tasks. I will be either asked to handle all kids or take care of guests or to go shopping and arrange things. All my marital family members know cooking is not my forte, but I have many other strengths. So they all have always utilized my other strengths than harp on my lack of exceptional cooking skills.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

@savitha it is the person like Manthara who destroys the fabric of a family. Without understanding them people like Kaikeyi yield to them. And yes you have the family break down even before you understand it.

People like Manthara always harp on insecurities. If people are not emotionally strong it is easy to fall in their trap.

And we need to know that it is the respect given to people like her is the bane of current society.

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deejagi

@deejagi

IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@savitha ME most probably will have the high voltage drama. I guess after the high octane drama last week CVs would have decided to give some light hearted episodes, setting stage for the next step.

I somehow feel Manthara will ask Kaikeyi to engineer marriage of Bharat and Mandavi as she has come to know Sita is an adopted daughter. She might think since Sita is adopted Raja Janak kept such a tough swayamvar so that someone will take her as the trophy. Manthara will take Sita doesn't have any power to bring strength to Ram . So in Bharat's interest it will be better to strike an alliance between Mandavi daughter of the king of Sangharsha and to ward of any suspicion the alliance will be proposed for the remaining 3 brothers.

I was wondering why it was not Urmila for Bharath, because in chronological order ideally it has to be Urmila for Bharath and Mandavi for Lakshman. But if the marriage is engineered based on power Mandavi for Bharath looks more plausible. Also Kaikeyi may be able to relate to pompous Chandrabagha than the simple Sunaina.

Shruthi, I don't think Manthara may engineer plans to get Bharath married to Mandovi but she will fro sure convince Kaikeyi for Ram & Sita wedding by saying Sita has no royal background and hence it will help her to get Bharath installed on the throne (like people may question her rights to sit on the throne as queen). And about chronicalogy, Mandovi is elder to Urmila and Shruthkirthi and so it is on their birth order they will get married to the brothers. And about the other 3 pairs, I think Raja Janak might rise this request as he had been updated by his daughters (when they were kids) that they will get married to the same house so that they shall not part away from each other. Or that might be done by either shatanand or Mata Gargi or Yagnyavalk.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#30

@jaya actually I thought Urmila was elder to Mandavi. Ok let us see.

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