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I would want every man, every woman especially young girls and boys to pay attention to what Sita said today. Growing up in nuclear families either with one kid or max two kids our generation has grown up with lot of independence. At our home maybe we didnt had to balance our roles as a daughter and a sister as they rarely contradict.
But that is not the case in a marriage. The boy is already a son and a brother and the girl a daughter, a sister. So when they become husband wife in addition to that roles like DIL, son-in-law, bhabi, devar, mausi, chachi, mami, Jeejaji etc gets added.
And at the centre of the matter is neither the boy knows the equation the girl shares with her parents and siblings, nor does the girl knows the equation he shares with his parents and siblings.
But by observing you can slowly understand how each relation stands and respect those relations also.
Ram was quick to understand Urmila cares for her sister deeply and admonished his brother for being angry with her and Sita understood Ram's attachment to Lakshman and admonished her sister for talking ill about him. It is for both the partners to ensure that their family members do not insult anyone from the spouse's family. If any incorrect behaviour is found, you have to ask your family member only to keep quiet, than create a ruckus on your brother didnt speak properly or your sister was speaking loudly. It is like correcting our side than pointing fingers at other side.
We need to understand that this simple finger pointing can lead to bigger fights. If Ram had informed Janak on his daughter was not talking properly to his brother or Sita had sent some dasi with a message to Ram that his brother was angry with her sister how will it look. Between most couples this is what happens. For small small things fights will erupt. And the family will chip in too. Her sister's fault, his brother's fault etc etc.. Once many family members step in things will go from couple's hand.
And if you see Sita first serves food to Lakshman. Reason if she wins his trust, she gets an ally in her new home. A loving, doting devar. So if she needs anything in her new home she can count on her devar, who already is willing to eat anything prepared by his bhabi.
Also treating him special Sita is showing Ram that she understands how special Lakshman is for him. And at every point just like Ram keeps his brother's safety paramount, as his bhabi she will be very much doting to him and never come between his and Ram's relation.
A woman with wisdom understands who is that person in her husband's side who is his favourite, who also has a good connect with all the family members. Instead of feeling insecure she will make that person her ally so that she gets help from that person to establish other relations. And if the relation is good in arguments devar will take bhabi's side over bhaiya's 😆😆
Many girls in their possessiveness and so called independence wanting husband only for them doesnt spend time in creating this ally and in the long run pays heavily for it.
Same with the man. A man who understands a woman knows that if he respects her family and her role in that family he had won her heart. She will walk extra mile for him. Many young men falter here in not respecting their wife's family creating unnecessary fiction.
These are simple things, our older generation knew. But over years it is this subtle qualities that are getting eroded leading to many divorces and unsatisfactory marriage lives.
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