Software Symphony 40 Eggs & Kathakali - Page 113

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Kala

I know of many families where the sisters get jealous of each other for what the parents gift each of them, at seemandham, prasavam and baby's Bday, many even fight over what their parents have left for them

after they pass on...

I know of many families where the brothers' wives and daughters(SILs) fight over who got what

Many Iyer families love their daughters more, many love their DILs, its a constant vishwa yudh only. Its very shocking to me how can siblings that grew up in the same house and shared the same room, same salwar kameez and kolhapuris, and earrings fight like dogs after marriage and kids

But its very very common

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Prat
He loves his family, he adores Vandu, hes not a crook, hes not a gambler he doesnt cheat on her, he doesnt have a roving eye, he is a committed sincere man, that struggles to make ends meet.
He cares for the Iyers (I know many will jump on me and say whats the big deal, Vandu cares for his parents etc) There are many Balas that make their wives care for their parents and NOT AT ALL appreciate their wife's parents visiting them even for a week.

He doesnt ask Vandu to "go get money from your parents, your mother is earning too, I want trade in stocks" (there are many Balas that do that if mother in law is working)

There are many Balas that got their wife's tubes tied after the first one, because they cannot afford a second one

Bala is not like that at all

He loves II
He admits to Vandu occasionally he is helpless in the case of his parents

He has to have some failings no?

Go ahead and hate him for what he fails at

Nisha what seems to be emerging is the contrast between him and the Dude...I am unable to see him adore Vandhu either from his action or words maybe i missed reading or noticing it...i am able to see the Dude adoring his II and every member of his family and circle adoring her simple ways even her lies and tantrums.
Nobody wants him to shun his Parents. It is Vandhu who is admirable in the way she cares for them and his Athai...it is admirable the way II treats the Tatha Paati...yet you pounce on her is so not done...
A friend used to say a working woman is a recurring income scheme for some Indian men...Even in the last  update...he knows an iyer girl cannot go make things so soon in the kitchen and asks her to go fetch something...he could have asked II...MCP that he is and compare that with the Dude's way of looking after II:)  It is not merely about money...it is about the attitudes and values...Bala appears a paper hero like Appa... Ranjan may be caught in a bizzare scandal and shunned by his own  yet i admire the man...there is no mean bone or selfishness...if he treats Sam and Akka alike it is because he has a big heart and i dont agree that he is over stepping...Iyers teach their girls to call maamanar maamiyar as Amma and Appa and we behave cordially to all our Pukkathu Manusha ...why cant we teach our sons to act the same too? Double standards

Originally posted by: dristi64

Common??? Seriously??

Seems like I've been living in a different world or a bubble.

Very honestly, I've seen siblings moving away from joint families to have their own space after marriage, which I think is very logical. 

But getting at each other over such petty things? Beyond my understanding.

I can never think of not sharing something with my brother.

And my sister's been married for a good 12 years now. 

Our equation hasn't changed one bit and BIL is a simple man.

Maybe I'm supposed to become the vamp after getting married😆

Nobody is mean or evil Dristi, I have an Aunt she has 4 girls, the first one got married obviously the family didnt have much money and the Iyer mentality (oh we have three more, lets not go over board on this one) 2nd 3rd and 4th went to college trade school etc and had Govt jobs

By then Uncle was close to retirement and had saved a bit too, the first was only a SSLC (12th) so she got a Draughtsman/lowest level architectural civil type job husband all others got hubbies that were clerks in Bank or in public sector

She threw a fit at every wedding, one she said "Amma my wedding kanjeevaram doesnt have enough zari so I cant wear it for number 2's wedding, number 3's wedding etc" and added on more expense for her parents

3rd sister's wedding she threw a fit saying the diamond earrings (Iyers do that) that the 3rd one got was really big

4th sister's wedding she was sulking the whole time.. I am told and went away even before the baraat left on the morning of the 3rd day

Different views. 

EnVee Anu posted she will no longer come over and just left, so when u asked hope all is well, I read that on the treadmill, I thought "No all is not well". Not sure what happened to the page... Maanvi HAD TO GO she wouldnt have

Anu left by choice, I dont see Shevane either I dont know what even happened...

It hurts me but I cant do a thing  about it

This is more than a story now, way more than a story... we talk about everything other than the story on most days

None of our lives are perfect by any definition😭 This is one place where we can JUST BE

But frequently get reminded, that this is afterall like the real world only😭

Originally posted by: dristi64

Common??? Seriously??

Seems like I've been living in a different world or a bubble.

Very honestly, I've seen siblings moving away from joint families to have their own space after marriage, which I think is very logical. 

But getting at each other over such petty things? Beyond my understanding.

I can never think of not sharing something with my brother.

And my sister's been married for a good 12 years now. 

Our equation hasn't changed one bit and BIL is a simple man.

Maybe I'm supposed to become the vamp after getting married😆

DRISHTI
There are folks who choose to be different...the whole discussion is i think about how we relate to folks based on changing value system i see a lot of younger people including many iyer boys becoming very different from the sterotyped APPA and Bala types...It is only because of the way the two treat II and the Dude we so adore and the Ranjan  a lot of us admire that gets us rant...It is about choices...i am sure we can choose to be a sam or a Manny  a II or an Akka...A Bala or a R& B...
Choose what you want to be

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

EnVee Anu posted she will no longer come over and just left, so when u asked hope all is well, I read that on the treadmill, I thought "No all is not well". Not sure what happened to the page... Maanvi HAD TO GO she wouldnt have

Anu left by choice, I dont see Shevane either I dont know what even happened...

It hurts me but I cant do a thing  about it

This is more than a story now, way more than a story... we talk about everything other than the story on most days

None of our lives are perfect by any definition😭 This is one place where we can JUST BE

But frequently get reminded, that this is afterall like the real world only😭

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

EnVee Anu posted she will no longer come over and just left, so when u asked hope all is well, I read that on the treadmill, I thought "No all is not well". Not sure what happened to the page... Maanvi HAD TO GO she wouldnt have

Anu left by choice, I dont see Shevane either I dont know what even happened...

It hurts me but I cant do a thing  about it

This is more than a story now, way more than a story... we talk about everything other than the story on most days

None of our lives are perfect by any definition😭 This is one place where we can JUST BE

But frequently get reminded, that this is afterall like the real world only😭

Nisha frankly for those who left is their choice. Am not judging anyone here. Not taking anybody's side. Nor do I want to create ruckus. 

Vidya
I refuse to believe ONLY Iyer boys are backwards, all of them are to a certain extent, some change many dont...
Also the case of him asking Vandu to get him something cold was a CLEAR case of cold war with II

I knew it would be misunderstood, he is not a misogynist by any definition. He wanted to let II know " I am uncomfortable asking you for stuff now"

He didnt necessarily want Vandu to get up, it was just a symbolic potshot at II