I Never Told You... But I Always Loved You
when I saw you the first time my heart skipped a beat. I looked at you till you were out of sight. you were handsome and smart and who wouldn't fall for you.? i thought for the longest time standing there until I was brought out of my thoughts by my mum . she shook me and asked " what's wrong? what are you thinking in the middle of the road?" I nodded my head and went back with her, his photo in my mind from where no one could erase it even if he went miles away from me. I felt life was a bed of roses .
next day was my first day of the new year in school and tuitions started as usual.. . I sighed and thought "why tuitions ? why cant I study on my own?" had I not agreed for the tuitions , I thought, I would have missed an oppurtunity to know him. The tutor tought him too! I was elated. Till now I didn't know his name but with the teacher's arrival things changed. I was waiting for her to start talking about him but she kept me waiting till the end and did all the math and English as if this was her last day of teaching me..Oh yeah !. how could i forget she was a teacher who came to teach me and not talk about him. It was my my mom who started the topic " madam you teach the guy in the next building too,right?" and she replied "yes I do" and then she started showering praises in his name. I was happy to know about him. And suddenly my clumsy silly brain started working and I asked " when is his birthday?" she looked at me as if I was an alien. oh yes!! how could I expect her to know when his birthday was... she was just a teacher. and today's class was over.
The next day I saw him again .. I was too shy to go to him and tell "hi" . That's where the mistake lie , I guess. But at the end it didn't matter , you will see. I heard he was a class topper and a football champ . oh and he had a pet dog. He played with it in the evening and took him for rounds .
One day on a literal note I tried to befriend his dog. I said "aww soo cute." and there was his mum. I asked "aunty , what is the time?" she answered and I thought " they seem to be nice people" . I was so innocent..
I one day went to an old age home and to my surprise I saw him helping the elderly people there and also singing songs with them . As I tried to approach him , he went away. He sat on his bike and rode away. I started falling for him more than ever. He was a good guy. Better than what I thought him to be. Thus days went by and I looked at him from a distance . Always.
all this went on for 4 long years until I came to college. I was thrilled that he studied in the same college as mine. Always in his thoughts , I wondered what was happening to me. I would just see him and a smile would come on my lips. I saw him but would never approach him so as to start a conversation . I don't know why. Was I that shy to talk to a guy?. Or was it particularly him?
What type of a guy does a girl need.? A guy who is smart and handsome, educated and rich and importantly being helpful , kind hearted and well mannered.. I too liked him because he had all these qualities . I never knew when the like' began transforming into love' .
but that one day .. I understood that roses too have thorns . I was heartbroken. I sat still and numb for some time and it took me a long time to come back to normal. I had to act normal because no one was aware of my feelings for him. That day I saw a photo of him and his girlfriend on the social media.I was sad but I let him go. Away, away from my mind . I loved him enough to let him go.
I still see him sometimes but then move my thoughts and sight somewhere else and still think if things could change.. But then I thought why couldn't I talk to him in those 4 long years? why? This was the reason maybe , the other day had I gone to him and talked to him and befriended him, I wouldn't be able to hide my feelings. I would have been heart broken far more severly than if I hadn't .i was spared the severity.
I still think about him but I want him to be happy and I say it in my mind
I never told you ... but I always loved you...
P.S. guys, if you like it then please hit the like button and do comment. it means alot.
INDEX
PART 1 - ABOVE
PART 2 - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4268970?pn=4
PART 3 -https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4268970?pn=5
PART 4 - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4268970?pn=6
EPILOGUE - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4268970?pn=7
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