Playing With Fire
"Man may have discovered fire, but women
discovered how to play with it."
Candace
Bushnell, Sex and the City
Holy
mother of god, the Madrasan really did outdo herself.
Had
he said she looked like his mom just sometime back? Shit! He ought to be more
careful.
This
was revenge - her revenge on him, he can so tell and for the love of
god, he cannot figure out what is stronger right now - the agony he feels or
the ecstasy.
Agony
because he cannot touch her, ecstasy because he knows it is all for him - only
him. She is his and his only. Only he can't have her - yeah there comes the
agony once again.
Agony
wins hands down. However, ecstasy is not giving up the war that easy. Not at all, why would it when it has her as
its ally and does it ever.
The
pink lips, that ravine hair and that smile are out to kill him tonight.
Yeah
he should definitely provoke her more; only he should be careful when to do it,
as right now the woman has him by the balls - literally and figuratively. Okay
only figuratively...as for literally... no, no, no Raman do not go there - not
now, not here.
Damn!
He
is infamous for his razor-sharp tongue, which never fails him, he relies on for
his comebacks that scald those who mess with him, but he prides himself for his
quick wit and impromptu thinking. His mind is his weapon and unfortunately, for
him - the very weapon is working against him now.
Oh,
boy is it ever!
The
moment she stepped in looking like a vision, he could not believe his eyes. Was
it really her- his wife? He knows she is a beautiful woman; it is not as if he
has been blind to the obvious fact, it did not take their marriage for him to
notice it. Not really, but marriage is working as a revelation to him all
right.
He
remembers that rainy night they were stranded on the road after he had rescued
her from some goons. She had been shivering from the cold and he had noticed it
and walked up to her to offer his coat. He could not hand it over to her nor
drape it around her - it did not seem appropriate then but he vividly recalls
the effect of that night, of her on him. When they had finally found a ride in
that auto he had allowed her to leave alone but they had later ended up
together. He recalls the phone call her then fianc made to her, her reply
confirming she was with him then. He had asked her why did she not lie and her
answer at the time - she never lies until need be had for a moment just pissed
him off - but he had found himself admiring her for a moment there, wondering
do women like her exist really? Women who do not lie and cheat. He had had no
idea they would be married one day then but she had impressed him there.
He
had not allowed himself to ponder much on the attraction he had felt for her
then or once when he was nursing her in her clinic.
Lately
though he is finding it hard to ignore the growing allure - the subtle fire
that he knew existed. That green dress had
been the first time she had him speechless- he had to admit she oozed oomph in
it though he had teased her later. The moments she drew near him while sewing
the button on his shirt next were a new brand of hell for him.
Post
Shagun he did not lose his libido completely but he never was more aware of it
than with her. The women he met since Shagun always seemed like her- shallow,
narcissistic, greedy, home wreckers, cheaters, liars, manipulators and
opportunists. They physically aroused him but mentally and emotionally
disgusted him beyond words.
He
had tried to visit an escort once too but he simply could not go through with
it. He had ended up sending the payment without even meeting her. He was not
been raised in the way- he cannot even imagine what would make women so
desperate or helpless enough that they would prostitute themselves. Alcohol
became his reprieve.
He
could damage himself but he cannot resort to sinking so low as to take
advantage of a woman who could be genuinely so needful she has no other options
left.
It
has been years since he has wanted a woman and now that he does - his wife
at that he cannot approach her. Damn Raman Bhalla you have to draw the short
stick always.
That
sneaky woman has slowly and steadily creeping up on him since. It was that blue
dress later. He remembers that night so intensely even now - she amazed him
that night with her beauty once again- she had looked stunning, downright
ravishing and he was so pissed because with each moment he had wanted her more.
They had been all alone too but of course, he could not benefit from it. The
only activity they could profusely partake in was fighting and that night even
that seemed to incite him more. Something about her ingenuousness coupled with
that temper of hers makes her so much desirable when she is all riled up. The
woman does not know how very badly he has to hold back sometimes when they are
at loggerheads - oh, the things he wishes he could do to her - they
could do together.
If
she gets half an inkling about the nature of his thoughts he fears his life
would be a living hell - she had pirouetted so cheerfully in that green dress
and he had had to remind himself so very much - she may be his wife but she is
off limits. He can look but he can never touch.
He
has been looking after all even
before that. Only now she knows it - and knows it well, he had to open his damn
mouth about the 360 degree comment.
He
is sure she enjoyed the moment when he kept looking at her as a fool with his
jaw dropped, so much so she had to snap her fingers to bring him back to
reality. Hell what is a man supposed to do when his wife walks in looking like that.
She
is temptation personified and he wants to give in. Damn it he wants to sin. Is
it sinning though if it is your own wife you desire?
She
is laughing now with her sisters - saying something and he wishes he could butt
in, grab her hand and drag her somewhere - somewhere private where no one dares
disturb them.
Yeah,
he should but he cannot.
His
mouth feels dry, his legs seem like jelly and he has trouble walking. He hopes
no one notices the change in his gait or a prominence in his pants. He would
die of mortification before he would of the sheer pain he is in right now.
He
needs a shower or maybe just a few minutes to relieve himself - he is about to
make his way towards the men' washroom when Tandon grabs him to introduce to a
few friends. Crap!
His
mind is hazy and he lets no sign of his discomfort known but it is getting so
much more difficult now.
He
kept thinking things - so many things to keep him in control - reminded his
mind the command down boy so many times, he feels embarrassed. It is as
if he is a teenager all over again who just discovered he has testosterone. She
makes him feel like one so very much.
To
anyone looking his way he seemed like a man enjoying a conversation, to him he
was a man on a mission - he had to stop thinking about her. About the way she
looks right now and of all the things he has running on his mind he imagines
them doing.
He
thought of things, nonsensical things - stuff bound to make him affect his
fragile state and make it more agreeable. He recalled the worst teachers he had, the
first time he got a C in his exams, the bullies from his school and college and
when none of it worked - he recalled the night he had spent with his
father-in-law who would not stop coming onto him, thinking it's his wife beside
him.
That
had worked too... yeah he had lost all his drive there, only the next moment
things changed.
Finally,
he excused himself, only for things to take a worse turn.
He
was about to reach Mihir when she suddenly came out of nowhere and collided
with him. His quick reflexes came into action and she was in his arms the next
moment. Her eyes were closed for a few brief seconds, but then she opened them
- realizing she has not fallen down rather she is being held on by a strong
pair of arms. His arms.
Their
faces were a few inches apart at best and she smelled divine.
God
damn it! He had not picked up on that
earlier and he just got himself under control. Shit!
He
backed out immediately from the almost-embrace and noted she was looking at him
peculiarly.
"Raman,
are you ok? "She asked gently.
Her
tone made him defensive without meaning too.
"Of
course why won't I be alright and what is wrong with you why do you have to
always keep running like the blind?" he said gruffly.
"It's
just... you... "She stopped mid-sentence and suddenly her hand was on his forehead
When
she touched his neck with the back of her hand, his pulse skyrocketed. Her
touch was so soft, so gentle - her skin satin like. This was making things
perilous for them and he had to rein himself in.
He
brushed her hand aside brusquely and took a step back, stupid woman - he would
not be responsible for his actions if she did not stop - can't she see that.
"What's
wrong with you and why are you touching me, hands off."
She
was affronted naturally at the accusation,
"I
was just checking your temperature you are sweating in an AC room, trust me I
have no intentions in touching you whatsoever."
"Oh
yeah? Seems to me you cannot stay away from me, in a room full of at least a
hundred other people - you had to collide with me and only me. Doesn't take a
genius to figure out what's going on here?"
"Were
you dropped on your head as a child or something? Because that is the lamest
thing, I have ever heard. I ran into you by accident- Ruhi was playing with my
mobile when I tried to get her to stop so she could eat something, she ran away
with it I was worried she may fall down and was chasing her when we bumped into
each other. I never even saw you coming."
"Wow
what a convenient excuse!"
"Excuse?
Seriously, I am not interested in touching you not today - not in this
lifetime, I have a far better taste and I don't tend to indulge in junk food
when I can have gourmet."
"What
did you just say?"
"What
you heard, I am not interested in you. I would never be, so get that into your
mind. God what does this man think of himself? I could have had so much better
options, still can. "
She
is about to leave shaking her head, when he grabs her hand and before she can
create a scene takes her outside in the parking lot which was for the moment
vacant.
"Leave
my hand, what's your problem Raman?" She yells at him but it's of no use.
They
are in a dark remote corner of the lot far away from the entrance when he
finally manages to corner her and leaves her hand. The moment she tries to
leave, his hands trap her - and she is standing against a dark sedan with her
back to it and with him in front.
"What
do you want Raman? Let me go."
"Not
before I have finished."
"I
don't wanna hear anything."
"You
have too. I am NOT ASKING YOU, I am telling you... I won't hear you speak to me
like that ever again. Get it!"
"Else
what? You think I am scared of you. Raman Kumar Bhalla get off that high horse
if that's where you are, you don't scare me. And I can say whatever I want, and
will do so."
"Shut
up, just shut up alright. I have had enough with your nonsense. You mocked me
before by comparing me with actors and I was fine, I understood that and it was
okay. You praise that jiju of yours to the skies in front of me I even
tolerated that, but if you ever and I mean ever think of another man Ishita, I
swear to god you haven't seen the worst of me yet."
She
pushed him hard for that,
"What
the hell? I was talking about other men to marry you idiot. I was cursing my
fate that it had you in it - the most egoistic jackass ever born and you think
I would... Raman you are an idiot, a moron. God why did I have to end up with
this man?"
She
is about to walk off when he holds her hand,
"I
am sorry Ishita...god I lost it there, please forgive me. I lose my temper
sometimes you know that."
"Losing
your temper is no excuse for those words. What kind of a woman do you take me
for Raman Bhalla? You drive me absolutely crazy and sometimes I pray just so
that I have enough patience to not strangle you, you idiot but you still are my
husband and I wouldn't cheat on you."
"I
know that, I do Ishita. I am sorry, please forgive me." he admits meekly.
"Yeah
that's so obvious isn't it?"
"I
said I am sorry didn't I?
"Sorry
doesn't make everything right." She wouldn't look at him and that hurt him
more.
Gently
he touched her face with his free hand and made her look at him,
"Ishita
I promise I will never say anything like that again. I know my temper is no
excuse here, imagine yourself in my shoes for a moment. I just misunderstood
your words - that option thing somehow I... I stopped thinking clearly for a
moment. I trust you, you know that - I have always didn't I prove your
innocence. Would I have done that if I didn't trust you? Please it was a
slip of the tongue Ishita, it happens I am human, I make mistakes."
"Okay."
The
one word was a source of relief to him.
"Let's
go inside now people may be looking for us already." he said.
"Wait,
what if someone asks us where we were all this while?" she asked him confused.
He
had a naughty twinkle in his eye when he replied,
"Oh
don't worry about that if anyone asks us I will just say my wife dragged me
outside... she was getting ... frustrated."
Her
jaw dropped at his audacity, but somehow she had begun learning the ropes of
this game he played, Raman Bhalla you would not win easy this time she thought,
He
figured he would hear some banal protest from her end but never saw what he had
coming, for she moved closer to him and as she did he could swear he heard his
heartbeat ringing in his ears, his palms felt sweaty and his eyes widened a
bit.
"Right
hubby dearest... I think that is what you should say... after all a wife has to pay
attention to her husband and if he keeps on walking funny and stares at you
every ten seconds, especially your backside you have to help the poor
man out somehow. It's what a good wife does right? After all, it would be so
embarrassing to both of you... if his lack
of control got out especially when the party has just begun. Things
ending prematurely are so not a good sign. "
She
walked off with the last word and the last laugh back to the party while he
stood there mortified,
"Did
she just say that? Does it imply what I think it does? ... she said... that I ... prematurely...
OH MY GOD!"
Raman
Bhalla stood horrified with his jaw dropped and eyes huge for entirely
different reasons than the ones that had him committing the same act barely an
hour ago.
His
wife had finally stepped up her game and for once, his mind was too zapped to
think of a comeback. Given her implication
communication was of no use, damn he would have to prove to her with his
actions - he hopes the day arrives soon else he would go bat shit crazy for
sure if the woman keeps this up.
Edited by EkPaheli - 9 years ago
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