Blast from the Past Thread #21 !!Holi ki Dhadkane!! pg114, epi 218 - Page 75

😆 Faiqu!
Edited by wiwy - 10 years ago

Originally posted by: sohara

yeah right. Marriage is so boring. That's why I don't want to get married.I wanna fly like a bird in the sky. there is too much commitment, too much responsibilities in a marriage. 

But I wish your married life is full of fun and love.

Happy anniversary again.

Edited by indi52 - 10 years ago

guru ji?


























Edited by indi52 - 10 years ago

WIWY WIWY WIWY!!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!! 

Indi,

Thanks for sharing your precious moments with us. That was so sweet. It must have happened to you before that when you had those little doubts, the answers would soon be there in front of you. This is such a moment. Even if you had a teeny weeny thing about the lack of rituals, you can let go of it now. Because the rabbi has himself declared and thus proclaimed acceptance of your marital status .

You may have not taken vows but you've lived and fulfilled then. You've been through ups and downs, good and bad yet supported each other all through. You may not have taken the pheras but you have together endeared the tests of life and came out victorious. Who says you haven't done the rituals? You have been doing them over and over again all these years.

And do give maafi to Khushi. She did stop the SR, but she did add the SR back to her name within no time. If Dadi, trp and sp hadn't intruded, they would have had their SR the very next day.

durga, 😃

never did bother me the non religious nature of our wedding. i just wanted to be with him, bas. actually i am hugely in favour of a secular marriage which is considered legally binding. not a great one for accepted modes of practically anything... that's me. born weird. but i know somewhere though jacob never ever brought it up... because he doesn't need it, but he would be delighted if there were open acceptance by his community. and yes, ma in law.

so i was happy.

my own aunts are forever telling me now i am jewish without realising how silly and erroneous that is. i am hindu. bas. that is all there is to it. in fact, being married to a jewish person made me examine my own sense of self, who i am, etc.,... and open minded as i am, individualistic as i am in the matter of my spirituality, i realised i was essentially hindu.

i used to be rather childish about most things, i still am about many things... but this decision to be with the one i felt something for has sure taught me some stuff... and it has always been interesting. essentially because my old man is kind of weird too. 😆

achcha about khushi ji, i am only mad at her because she really upset my poor asr that night, what a thing to say. and he, mad and angry, actually said what made sense. the kkg's of our duniya need to grow up a bit maybe. if you love a guy and live with him, and call yourself his patni, and pull janmashtami jhoola with him (which is imp to your heart), and if you are legally married to him as he claimed... then surely you can't say oh but we are not married properly. this insistence on rituals both asr and i are ahem nahiiin with. if rituals are that important, say so up front, do not flutter eyelash and  act coy and say who speaks to one's patni like that.

but since i like asr lau kkg, i will phorgiviya, that trp and sp and ph... now thats' another matter. 😡😆

Originally posted by: indi52

guru ji?

nahiiin.

nahiin nahin nahin.

me lunatic verbose old lady. bas.

haan haan haan.

samjhe, aap sab?

faiqa...you ze guru foreva (hyuk, how desperately i am trying to learn the new spellings).

wiwy,

thank you thank you. your bhalo dada and not so bhalo didi managed to not fight through the anni. actually had quite a decent time.

now that i've started, a very very personal and pribhaaate moment i am putting on a bhery bhery open thread.

yes, wiwy... it was a special day. not because we drank champagne... which at a friend's party we almost did. nor because he bought me an expensive gift... aww my old buddha ji actually did that too. got me these classic studs from, where is my sweet cynthia... van cleef... alhambra.

yay. i am a earring monster.

but the personal story.

on 14 december 1985, jacob and i got married under the special marriage act of india. as we belong to different religions this is the only marriage considered legally valid in india. and since my not being a jew meant there was no religious ceremonies from his side and his being one meant no pooja paath hindu wedding rites, we never had any religious ceremonies when we tied the dhaga. only customs... and a legal certificate. two simple signatures on apiece of paper... and i have lost the original. 

this means in strictly technical terms the jewish faith does not recognise our marriage. nor i am sure does the hindu practice (so yes, khushi ji, i am not his patni because there were no pheras... so angry with you when you said that to asr. that your marriage is incomplete? marriages are made in the mind deeply, not by pheras... samjhi?).

anyway, jacob is deeply jewish and quite quite observant... yet, he has never ever asked himself if what he did with me was wrong. in fact i now realise that the very fact he married me and insisted we keep our faiths as is was a major thing.

you see, i am not much into organised religion, so it never mattered to me as such.

so on saturday, when i was sitting in the synagogue attending the shabbath lunch for my daughter's dearest friend's bat mitzvah, yeah i did tell a couple of my friends that today is our anniversary, but didn't make an issue of it. it was also mu kid's other good friend's bday, and a boys's bar mitzvah.

very packed day for celebrations. many speeches, much cake cutting and singing and dancing and drinking, the bat mitzvah girl being of georgian origin, her family had flown in with wonderful home made wine, gallons of vodka and georgian sweets, a mad merry atmosphere all around.

and in the middle of that, rabbi gets up and says, well when it rains it pours, we have one more huge celebration today... indi and jacob's wedding anniversary. 28 years, etc.

i felt a huge amount of happiness, gratitude to the eternal, to everyone in my life, and i missed my ma in law. she was always a bit worried about that validity angle. she even suggested i try judaism. i wished she were here to hear the rabbi. a chabad rabbi, most orhodox, wishing us in front of the whole community. 

ties are undeniable. mere customs and rituals do not make them.

okay maybe rabbi was so high on the wine, he said dil ki baat, and in doing that he gained loads of respect in my eyes. 

sorry to have gone on.

i wanted to tell you all. tried before. then thought of  a million things and didn't.

but wiwy's wishes with that man's visage just said, go for it... dil ki baat had to be said.

hope you and your asr, had a hot anni too. bless ya, wiwy ji.

Originally posted by: cinthiann1758

😭oh my dear sweet indi, yes i am crying here!  

what a beautiful life you have lead with your jacob, so much love and respect.  

I know, i lived among the orthodox community and was the only christian to work in the yeshiva, i was accepted whole heartedly, even me being a christian.  The children would sometimes ask me why i wasn't jewish and then tell me too bad!  i laughed and blessed them as i worked daily in this wonderful school. i learned so much about the adoration of YHWH.  living a life dedicated soley to the Lord of all.  it is a beautiful religion, i must say so.

BAS, enough of that though.

as for you and jacob.  hats off to that man, he truly loves you!!!!  the orthodox people stay among themselves and marry other jews that is just how it is.  so for jacob , a truly orthodox man, obviously you are at a chabad, marry outside his religion and then the acceptance of you keeping your own faith, WOW!!!! hats off to this man! 

and you!  such love you must have to say yes and to go and live your life possibly fighting a battle with family.  romeo and juliet, the montages and capulets...not with family hate but you get my just, difference of opinions and religions.

who needs pheras, when you have vowed to each other your love.  you are blessed by the Divine just for living and breathing; add loving into the mix uff! that is G-d, that is religion.  I have so much respect and awe for you two and what you represent, freedom of religion, freedom to be your own person, freedom to love who you want to love, freedom to just be who you both are individually and as a couple...mazel tov on this monumental anniversary.  everyday in your lives is just that.  bravo, Jacob for the loving your wife so deeply.  

Arnav and Khushi moreover!  

Just brilliant!  A story must be written here!

and our jacob bought you those earrings from Van Cleef and Arpel, Alhambra...did he read my story?  AWWW!  love him just for that

happy anniversary my dear friend!

thanks so much, my dear cynthia.

okay, maybe a little wrong impression here. the orthodox community you speak of, is possibly far more observant than jacob. jacob grew up in calcutta at a time that the jewish population, mainly baghdadi jews like him, was dwindling. he barely observed anything when we met... but he felt jewish and practiced a couplre of things without fail. as he grew older he started observing more, he felt a need within and in singapore where there's a thriving community, would you believe it, he has grown more observant and happy about that.

he is an orthodox jew but still quite easy going comparatively. he will still eat at a normal restaurant but avoid meat, etc.

and no, my dear one, no objection from either mother when we said we wanted to get married. sorry for this boring bit. my mother told jacob that he better know what he was taking on as it was fairly clear i was not quite sane. his mother tried her best to reconcile to a non jewish daughter in law without making too much of a fuss. they both wanted us to be happy. both the ladies were tough, impossible to browbeat, and said, ok, go marry. they were the best.

i have been crazy about alhambra ever since the first long chains appeared about 7 years ago. a classic length and design, and such a pure motif. so when i read in your story about it, i was delighted. yes he got me the plain black studs... the magic chain was a surprise a couple of years ago. this man never liked jewellery, i conned him.😆

i agree with you, judaism is beautiful. whatever little i know of it. i find hindusim beautiful too. and the leeetle bit i know of christianity, islam, buddhism, sikhism as well. the community here has been as welcoming of me as they were of you at the yeshiva. i am the only one in a saree at all formal occasions and constantly being asked if it's okay to serve me meet... so sweet, me carnivore.

the rabbi here is chabad, but not the community... they are mainly baghdadi jews with more eastern traditions, but right now singapore has jews from almost everywhere and an ashkanaz service has also started in the sephardic shul... ze plot thickens 😆.

Originally posted by: indi52

 

 

Oh, that collar of yours can safely be always up Indi as there many droolers of your writings at a given time including me. But yes, when the words directly seep from the heart .. farq padtha hai.. pleasure is all the reader's! and this one is certainly one of those!

 

I actually loved his "Beau...tiful".. fit him so well... may be that.. uske baal.. uske ankhe... not as much... this uptight boring me can't really accept this man to even get drunk and go ga ga for his girl!!:)

 

Khushi's sanka.. kya bole.. I knew he was floored by her looks.. her dance as he looks at her adoringly all those times you mentioned... I thought her fieriness was another very imp one .. she being the only one to have get back at him ..was doing things to him.. .. Not sure if I can say.. but kind of a foreplay.. where she touches a part of him no one did/ could...when ever he said "Khushi, don't talk to me like that" almost felt a suppressed pleading not to play with his senses!!!😲

 

But her sanka.. aahh.. I got a clue to that ONLY here.. or even when during that dabba service where she walks on the bed talking on the phone "ab aa gaya na truck pul ke neeche" and he.. all smitten .. no escape... loony Khushi was that girl a guy in my family is head over heels in love with and I have to put up with her some how for his sake...:)

 

I haven't even talked about that Akbar Urdu.. that silhouette you loved.. as I promised myself not to be too verbose...but loved all that.

 

Look forward to many more of these "Straight from the Heart"s Indi!!