Very happy and humbled to say, this one was awarded with the title 'OS of the week' by the IPK Newsletter!!!😊
It's an awesome initiative to keep our show alive, do check it out if you haven't already!
ArHilicious Droolers #: 7 + 8 Dil Kyu Ye Mera, Shor Kare. . .
A little something I came up with! All italics are dialogues from our very own lovely show, enjoy :)
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
He didn't know how long the rays of sunshine had been peeking through the gap in the curtains before it found its way to his face; nor did he know how long it took to become aware of it. He was too busy concentrating on the familiar figure who sat on his bed, as he watched curiously from the recliner. She smiled warmly, the kind that had always made him want to smile back. Would it mean anything if he did? After all, she was no longer real.
One month...thirty days since, it had been. And when all was said and done, she was no longer in front of him, before he could latch on to the anchor that held him at bay, before he could convince her that there was no Arnav without his Khushi.
"What are you thinking?" Khushi asked as she propped her chin on her knees, her slender arms wrapping around her long legs as she stared at him. She wore one of those simple kurtas that she had liked to wear before she retired for the night. Her hair was let loose and fussed up slightly, as if she had just woken up from sleeping in his bed, like she did all those days back. As if.
"Why did you leave me?" Arnav asked, though already perceiving the answer.
"I had no say in it. I had to." She shrugged. "What else was I supposed to do?"
"You didn't have to do anything...you've saved me enough." He whispered into the air.
"I'd save you any day." She smiled. The sun beamed down over her, the arrows of sunlight bathed her skin and did wonders to the silky hair that lay at one side of her shoulder.
"You know I love you Khushi." He said hoarsely.
"You know I do too, but I can't stay." She said softly, getting up and walking over to him on the recliner. He closed his eyes, anticipating her touch, however it never came. It never did.
Kyunki jo tum mehsoos karti hoon. Jo mein mehsoos karta hoon...
"So why do you always come back if you're going to leave again?" He clenched his jaw in anger.
"I never did come back." She whispered, her voice just as beckoning as it was the last time he had spoken to her, as it lingered in the space of his room, their room. And when his lids had cracked open, displaying the caramel orbs that hid beneath, she was gone. His heart beat erratically, as her voice consumed him once more.
Hamari dhadhkanein ek ho jaati hai...
***
"Chotey?" His sister knocked on his door, and opened it slightly, only to find her little brother staring into space. "Chotey?" She tried again.
He turned to her, with that same blank look that he seemed to carry around these days. "Yes Di?"
"Breakfast is ready. Come down when you're ready." She smiled when he nodded.
Anjali limped down the stairs, the pain in her brother's eyes only weakening her resolve. The pain of losing a husband intensified. If only she had known...if only she hadn't been so blinded by her love for him, she may have been able to prevent this. If only...
"Anjali Bitiya? How is he?" Nani interrupted her thought process, as she finally entered the kitchen.
"I heard him talking to himself again...well talking to her. Except..."
"Except she's not there." Nani shook her head sadly as tears threatened to spill
***
"Aman, what am I doing in the afternoon?" Arnav asked in his usual clipped tone, as he sat in his plush leather chair behind his desk.
However it was not so usual, not too long ago there was a time when his Arnav Sir spoke in a more polite tone. When he was not so harsh, when Aman could have sworn he saw a flicker of care, of solicitude in his boss's eyes. When matters were not so frightening for Aman, when he did not ingress into Arnav Sir's cabin, sweating, and with his heart beat racing due to the fright and consternation of getting in trouble. There was a time indeed, and it was quite apparent that following the incident regarding his Khushi, quite literally, he had returned to his old days.
"You have a meeting with Mr. Roy and a conference call after that." Aman replied nervously.
"Thank you. You may go Aman." Arnav said, watching him leave, and how Khushi closed the door behind him. She smiled cheerily as she plopped down in the chair across from him, on the other side of his desk.
This was what had made his Khushi so unique, he had thought about it long after things changed, her bouncy personality and desire to share her happiness with the whole world. Not content to be just another drone, she wore those silly vibrant clothes that made her stand out, more than she already did to him.
"It's been so long since I've been here. I remember how terrified I was every time I walked into this cabin." She said as her eyes scanned the room, becoming more and more distant.
"Come back," was all that Arnav muttered, reaching out to touch her hands. Hands that did not hold him back, because they could not. She stared at him with that look again, unadulterated love.
"Yeah right, so you can torture me some more?" She smiled weakly. "Maybe I'll just stay back here...you're better off Arnavji. Think about it, why would you want to be with me anyways? I have no class...no status...I'm no good for you. And you're no good for me either you know." She said pointedly, a smile playing on her lips. "You tend to ruin my peace of mind as well."
"Please? You need to try..." He asked again.
"Remember when you dropped me from this very cabin? And I fell on all that cardboard and got paint splattered all over me?" Khushi shook her head. "And then the guesthouse incident...I'm so glad I resigned!"
Tum theek ho?
Haan, hum theekh hai. Aapke vajah se nahi, aapke bavajood!
"How could I forget?" He sighed at the memory, remembering how much her feisty side had intrigued him. "You made me restless; no one had ever dared to talk to me in such a manner. I thought it might be good that I would never see you again after that, but then fate played its game...and I met you on Teej."
"Oh yes, and that you broke my vrat!" She exclaimed, her eyes widening. "I'm never going to forgive you for that."
"You don't have to. Just come back."
"Why did you drop me that day?" She asked, changing the subject once more.
He sighed at the memory. "Because I was getting too attached within such a small amount of time, I didn't want to hold on any longer...which I know now, is impossible."
"Would you have dropped me had there been no cardboard to save me?" She asked curiously, studying his face mischievously.
He leaned closer to her face, almost smelling her familiar fragrance that engulfed his senses. "No."
"Well that's nice to know!" She grinned and got up; slinging her colorful bag on her hip, with her braid hanging loose on a side.
"Where are you going?" He got up suddenly.
"I have to go Arnavji. I can't stay anymore." She said in a tone that stated the obviousness of the matter.
"Fine, just go! That's all you know how to do anyways." He sent the file in his hands to the floor as it crashed.
Another day, in another time, when things were different, his Khushi would have flinched. She would have frozen in place, started trembling...perhaps backing away.
Jisko jee jaan se chahte hai,
Jab usse nazron ke saamne paate hai,
Tab aankhein bolti hai, zubaan nahi.
Yeh hum jaante hai, yeh aap jaante hai,
Aise mein savaal wohi karte hai,
Jinhe pyaar kya hai, iski hawaa tak nahi
She smiled softly, the hazel in her eyes becoming a deeper shade as they always did whenever she left.
***
"Arnavji?" He snapped out of his reverie at the soothing voice, as Khushi left. Payal was at his office door.
"Payal? Come in." He cleared his throat and swallowed the lump that had previously formed.
"I brought Akaash lunch; I thought I'd bring some for you too." She placed the tiffin softly on his desk. "If Khushi were here, she would have..." Payal bent down to retrieve the file he had thrown in anger subsequently, handing it to him and watching as his fingers enclose around the thin sheets of paper tightly before he pulled it away.
"I heard the family talking again today...they're worried for you."
"Payal, if you're going to tell me I'm crazy for seeing my wife around when she's in a goddamn coma, lying on some hospital bed, then I don't want to hear it. Because I do see her. And I know it's all my fault, had I believed her when she told me about Shyam, this wouldn't have happened! Had I not married her like the monster I am, she would have been okay today. Because the bas***d would have been caught and he wouldn't have kidnapped me. Khushi wouldn't have come to save me, and gotten the blow instead. I know!" He exclaimed. "But she's fighting. She's always been a fighter, and she will come back to us. I know it."
Payal shook her head slowly. "I wasn't going to say you're crazy Arnavji. And yes, you're right it is your fault. But not only yours, we all played our parts well. I was a horrible sister for one." Payal looked at the floor, the heartbreak written all over her face. "I just wanted to say that you're lucky. I wish I could see her too."
***
Arnav came home from work, sitting by the poolside as he watered his plants.
"Do you remember when you got so angry and started cutting your plants frantically after you found out about my engagement?" Her voice should have surprised him, however now he was used to it. "And then you cut yourself and got hurt?"
"Yes. I was so angry...and jealous. But mostly angry." Arnav remembered the feeling of finding out Khushi had been engaged. He had wanted to throw her ring far enough that no one would ever find it.
"Why?"
"Because...the thought of you with someone else bothered me...you're mine Khushi." He turned to look at her. She was wearing the same red sari from diwali, looking even more beautiful that he had remembered.
"I always wondered. Your poor flowers!" She said, remembering. "And I remember how you cut yourself...and Lavanya stitched it up. And how much I wished I was the person doing it for you." She admitted with a small smile.
"Then why didn't you?" He got up, still in a trance due to her beauty.
He studied her sculpted figure which was still twine-thin. Her waist was slightly visible through the sari and he was drawn to her creamy complexion. Her pair of arched eyebrows looked down on sweeping eyelashes. Her delicate ears framed a smooth nose. A set of dazzling, angel-white teeth gleamed as she smiled softly. It was a pleasure to see her flowing, moon shadow-black hair. Her enticing, deep hazel eyes gazed at Arnav over her lips. How could she seem so real?
"Because you pulled away. You have a habit of doing that, you know." She said, walking along his plants and running a finger over his flowers that didn't move when she touched them.
"I know. I have some bad habits." He felt himself smiling at her ethereal form.
"And do you remember the fairy lights?" She asked, smiling at the memory.
Di Khushi ulajh gayi hai...
"And how I unwrapped you...like my own personal gift. How can I forget?"
"Mhmm...We had so many beautiful memories by this poolside Arnavji." She sighed.
"Not had. We have many beautiful memories by this poolside. And there will be more. You just need to come back Khushi, wake up."
"And what if I don't?" She asked, her hazel depths snapping towards his effulgent molten brown ones.
"I don't know...I haven't thought about it because it isn't an option." He said huskily, as he stood up and stalked towards her. His Khushi treaded backwards, his steps only a second away from hers. It awakened the memories of a twinkling night, of Diwali, where he had officially lost his control. A night of lust, of want, of denial, of tears from her hazel eyes as he fulfilled a promise to another, leaving her alone in more ways than one. "I know I don't deserve you...but I'm selfish, and I need you."
He walked her backwards, exhibiting the elation that he underwent upon Khushi seeming so tangible, if only he could have gone back to that one day, tampered with that sole memory and changed it...If only he could touch her now...
Tum hamesha peeche kyun jati ho?
Kyunki aap hamesha a-agey aate hein...
Khushi glanced behind her, acknowledging that she was approaching the wall. However, this time, as he gazed into her eyes, they were no longer blurred with fright. Her lips no longer trembled from the anticipation of his touch. Her face was sad, already knowing what would happen. Because as soon as her back was supposed to touch the wall, she was gone once more. Leaving him staring at the flat surface, running a hand over the white cement where she once was in his mind. Her words haunting him over and over, mirroring his own thoughts.
Baat aapki hai isliye faraq padta hai...Aap aise chale jayenge to hum saans hi nahi le payenge...
***
Arnav stood in front of his French windows, as night fell that very day. He watched the twinkling stars from above, enthralled by the beauty and the memories associated with his Khushi. The ones furthest away, almost outside the span of human comprehension, were like flashing pinpricks in a veil of darkness. The moon started to make its appearance, like a specter-silver halo in the sky. Ribbons of light rebounded off the mirrored surface of the sea like silver tracers of fire. It was soul-enriching and how he wished Khushi were there to watch with him.
Before he knew it, she was beside him, staring at the stars that had started to make an appearance.
"Do you remember when you said it was good that my Amma and Bauji weren't alive to see me? That day...after you told me why you married me on our way back from Buaji's house. Did you mean it?" She asked, and he saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Khushi..." He reached out to her but she back away slightly, only staring at him. "No, never. I never meant that...you know me, I saw these ridiculous things in anger..."
"I know...I should have told you about Shyamji...but I was so scared. I wish you had asked me once about it all...I wish you had found me before Shyam." Khushi said as she crossed her arms across her chest and stared up at the vast expanse of the inky sky.
"I wish that too. I wish so many things..." He said in regret, his eyes closing at the thought. "But Khushi, your parents would have been proud of you today, had they been alive. You're so giving; you married a monster like me for your sister. You do these little things that make us all happy. You know what it means to bring a smile on someone's face, and that's a beautiful thing." He spoke earnestly. "I learned that from you."
"Really?" She asked, her eyes brightening.
"Really. And that's why you have to come back...and keep making your parents proud from up above." He looked at her, hoping to get a proper response out of her.
"Wouldn't it be easier to just join them?" She asked, the innocence in her voice was evident.
"No! Khushi, no...that's not easier. Then...you would be backing down, you would be giving up. And Khushi Kumari Gupta never gives up, does she? Especially against me." He felt his heart constrict.
"I guess you're right...I don't back down. But I'm not just Khushi Kumari Gupta...I'm Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada, you know." She smiled through the tears, and he felt his own lips curve up in adoration.
"Will you come back?" He asked.
"You know I'm trying." She said softly turning away. "But Arnavji...when you said you learned how to bring a smile on someone's face from me, did you mean it?" She turned to him again questioningly.
"Of course. Who do you think put those two silver coins in that detergent pack just to see a smile on your face?"
Her mouth made that adorable O' that he had come to love so much. "You did that? I knew it was fishy...and I thought I was just lucky!"
He smiled. "You know, if you came back...you could yell at me for it. And get mad at me...just come home." He tried.
Her tinkling laugh resounded in his ears, in their home, in the walls of their room, even after she disappeared once more.
***
He drove, something that had once seemed to calm him down. However, today it was different. Every day he drove to her with a sense of longing, anticipation. Perhaps today it would be different...and as much as he tried to hide and avoid these visits, he could not live without them.
Much later, he entered. The hospital room had initially been stark with the boring white walls...very un-Khushi. He had taken out the time to decorate it, her favorite colors adorning the walls. Posters of her Salman Khan ji, her stars that she had once gifted him, hung from above. It was a colorful site, his Khushi would be happy when she would wake...wouldn't she?
He watched the various tubes and wires that surrounded her petite body. She was such a small thing...he wondered how she could take so much.
He remembered it vividly even to this day, one whole month later, the way she had put herself in front of him, as he took a seat on the stool beside her bed. The way he had left for London, how she had begged him to stay...
The next thing he knew was that he was kidnapped by his own jijaji, and Khushi? She had come to his rescue, of course. If she hadn't, then who would? They had run, they attempted to hide, but it had all ended up becoming futile when Shyam had found them once more. The chase...Arnav recalled, the way Shyam had taken his Khushi and drove away. The crash, as Shyam could no longer control the wheel...
Shyam had died on the spot. And Khushi being left with lots of blood loss, the trauma to her head so severe that she had been lying on this bed till date, in a deep slumber, in a coma ever since.
Arnav stared at Khushi's pale face, nothing like the usual glowing Khushi. The one with a slight hint of blush adorning her cheeks when he used to tease her, the red in her nose when she got embarrassed, and the flush in her cheeks when she yelled at him and told him off.
"Khushi? It's me...your Laad Governor." He smiled at her, and started off his conversation like every other day. He was a man of very little words, but when he was here with her, his utterance found his voice effortlessly.
"You visited me so much today Khushi. It started off only when I slept...but nowadays, it's so frequent." He whispered, taking her hand in his and resting his cheek in her softness.
"I miss you. I miss you everyday. And I'm so sorry." His voice cracked. "Not only me, but everyone misses you. Di and Nani cry all the time. And your jiji hardly talks anymore, along with Akaash. Mama misses you terribly, and even Mami misses you. She's no longer the eccentric woman she once was. And Laxmiji? I'll bet she misses her friend. And your jalebis? There haven't been any in the house since you left. How can you let that happen?" He asked softly. "And me? I haven't even gotten a chance to make it up to you; won't you let my try and earn your trust back? And even if I don't succeed, then I promise you're free to leave me. But at least come back to this side Khushi, wake up."
The nurse interrupted their moment, telling him that visiting hours would shortly be over, as she always did. And as perpetually, he was by no means ready to leave. Clasping her hand in both of his once more, he closed his eyes as he willed himself to go.
Jab Jo Bura Kaha, Uska Koi Matlab Nahi..
Jab Jo Bura Kiya, Uska Koi Matlab Nahi..
Iss Pyaar Main Sahi Aur Galath Ka Koi Matlab Nahi..
Bas Ek Cheez Ka Matlab Hain Ki Main Hamesha Hamesha Tumse...
And just as he was about to withdraw her petite hands, he felt a small squeeze from her side. It was for a mere second, but it felt long to him. He assumed that he had imagined it initially, desired it to happen so bad that this was now a figment of his imagination. But then another squeeze followed, and he felt himself smile the first genuine smile in some time. Because she was the only reason he would smile...his Khushi.
***
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdBym7kv2IM[/YOUTUBE]
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*Bites nails* I'm nervous because I don't write OS's too much, and I feel as though this is no good! I'm very eager to know what you all thought, any feedback is welcome :)
Happy Reading!
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