||DOTW|| Love Marriage Ya Arranged? - Page 5

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yhm_craze

@yhm_craze

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#41

oh now that story almost turned me into a mushy romantic Xari! but I think these kind of love stories are rare..and brilliant if it does happen..but in the real world I dont know somehow I dont think it does happen..there will always be some Valentine's day which you will forget because your boss was being a pain in the neck or your servant didnt turn up for work 😆...that is real life minus the heart shaped balloons 😆

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Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: dipsy80
oh now that story almost turned me into a mushy romantic Xari! but I think these kind of love stories are rare..and brilliant if it does happen..but in the real world I dont know somehow I dont think it does happen..there will always be some Valentine's day which you will forget because your boss was being a pain in the neck or your servant didnt turn up for work 😆...that is real life minus the heart shaped balloons 😆

You can keep your heart shaped balloons. As long as there is someone to welcome me with a warm dressing gown a towel to dry myself and a fire at the ready when I have been caught in the rain. What more can I ask 😆

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#43

You know, the best romantic gesture I have seen till date is when my saw my dad give my mom a really hot cup of tea after she had ranted and raved about the way the house looked after a particularly hard day at work😳

I was so indignant that day when my mom was scolding about the way my room looked but then I see my dad just smile and ask her to sit. He came out, gave her a cup of tea and then told her that he will clean everything up (there was nothing to clean, mind you😆)..

Later he told me that it sometimes is nice to give in😳 Aww.. I loved that. That is all one expects. A little understanding and a little patience and a little comfort😳

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swasthi

@swasthi

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#44

Very interesting topic Xarina with equally interesting discussion points.

I will start with a question:

Is there a game of life that we play out?

Love / arranged marriage has been talked a lot.

Let's talk about the 'otherwise marriage', in particular forced / tricked into marriage.

Jigar was tricked into marriage. His values and beliefs came into question and he abided. Had he had the exposure to critically view his situation and had the family that granted him an individual status, he would have seen right through the falsity he was put into.

I think prior to marriage is one's upbringing and life experiences up to that time of considering marriage that has the capacity of having the greatest impact in one's choice and type of marriage.

Having said this, there is the existence of forced marriage that transcends borders for that sake of a better life and other reasons. Where does love or arranged lie?

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Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#45

Swasthi I don't think that MB parivaar have even got the nouse to think laterally on such a subject. Marriage is not a decision to be made lightly yet he took it and was allowed to take it which does make me think that there is a missing element somewhere.

Although he was tricked into it by two scheming women he holds the institution of marriage high. When he had the option to step away he couldn't.

But when you talking of forced marriage I am thinking of the countless girls who are duped into going away and having to marry for the sake of family honour or because it is what the elders say so.

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sukriti

@HelloHunnyBunny

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

#46

I guess both..i know thats the weirdest answer..but i feel its more imp. to find the right person than claiming what i prefer.. and if my parents reach that right person before me..i wouldn't mind..i wouldn't mind doing arrange marriage because even then i would be given months time after engagement to spend time with the person..love marriages also work out fine as long as your parents are open-minded,

One thing I strongly believe since childhood is that if my parents are capable of finding me the bestest school ..the bestest college...bestest name.. bestest small little things..then why not the bestest person.. sometimes i tell mom that she knows me better than i do myself..so its better she finds the right-choice for me.. :)

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Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#47

If I had to do my time over again I would go for a love marriage. Arranged marriage was just bad news and if there are cracks in the relationship those who arranged your marriage would just look and stand back. Their job is done. In a love marriage if things don't run smoothly you have only yourself to blame. This for me would be easier to deal with than the impotence of your parents washing their hands of you as they have carried out their duty.

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ANJ4

@ANJ4

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: Xarina
If I had to do my time over again I would go for a love marriage. Arranged marriage was just bad news and if there are cracks in the relationship those who arranged your marriage would just look and stand back. Their job is done. In a love marriage if things don't run smoothly you have only yourself to blame. This for me would be easier to deal with than the impotence of your parents washing their hands of you as they have carried out their duty.

nothing is for sure ... You can't see inside of a person... You take chace not matter which way you go ... and you have to take a chance or life is not worth living ... I am look right now at my husband and I am so glad that I did ... so it is all about taking chance .

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Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: ANJ4
nothing is for sure ... You can't see inside of a person... You take chace not matter which way you go ... and you have to take a chance or life is not worth living ... I am look right now at my husband and I am so glad that I did ... so it is all about taking chance .

Anj it is being allowed to take that chance. Many arranged marriages back in the day took away that chance for many a girl.

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#50

Xari, I do agree that in arranged marriages, maybe a larger percentage than desirable, the chance of choice from the girl is taken away.

But that is changing these days. Girls are allowed to have their say in who they choose to be their husbands. They are given the right to say No. But I agree that this choice may not be there for a lot of people.😕

However when one gets that choice, one needs to use it properly. In arranged marriages too, I think if not forced, the onus of making it work falls on the couple.

If the marriage was forced on the other hand, then it is a totally different thing. It is sad that concepts like honor and image come before a person's happiness, especially when that person is your own daughter/son😭

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