||DOTW|| Love Marriage Ya Arranged? - Page 2

I cannot agree more Xari.😊 Here is a hug 🤗  Wanted to give you one.

I do realize the 'support' from the family can be nothing more than a coercion tactic to stay in the marriage but it can also be otherwise. That is when it gets worse because you get no one to turn too..

I was rather talking about real support. This was years ago.. Happened in my neighborhood. Arranged marriage happened and the sweet relationship turned sour with an affair. Husband was gone in  a matter of months. The girl was left, pregnant

But more than her family, it was the MIL who supported her DIL and raised the child. I remember the elders even talking in a hush about how she had asked the girl to remarry. Of course it is another thing that the girl declined to marry again. She decided to pursue her studies further and did really well I think😊
That was the kind of support I meant. Something that makes you want to believe in love and family😛


I do believe that a love marriage is fine as long as one understands what love is.. Like you said, lust and simple attraction are considered to be divine love today. It is all chemistry you see😉 
And that attraction becomes too much that the ones who are barely out of their teens think that they are the next best thing after Romeo and Juliet.😕

In any marriage, love or arranged, it takes two people to make it work. There could be a little imbalance once in a while but if that goes on and on, then the marriage stops working..

Think about SNS.. Can you imagine what would have happened if Rashi married Ahem.. I am sure he would have divorced her on day 2 and she would have set fire to his hair.. One or the other would have happened for sure. The most frightening part is, Kokila was looking at a bride and Rashi may have been that person😲

Iam not Married but i only prefer for arrange marriage coz this were the stranger fall in love at some point of time we did not know when we love other but at some point we ill be surely love our parter for their care or something more over in arrange marriage there ill be a part adjustment will be there every partner ill be adjust the others that cannot be seen in love 

Well marriage ...ours is a love marriage and I could have not pick a better partner than my husband ...  we have the great relationship .. we were friends ...and now we are married ...  we love spending time together ... but there are things he like to do and I do not ... so I tell him go and do this with your friends...   and when I tell him i am going to have a girls night out ... he is ok...   I think communication is the biggest thing ... and we have that ...

Originally posted by: delsi

Iam not Married but i only prefer for arrange marriage coz this were the stranger fall in love at some point of time we did not know when we love other but at some point we ill be surely love our parter for their care or something more over in arrange marriage there ill be a part adjustment will be there every partner ill be adjust the others that cannot be seen in love 

But in love all will be fall in love by seeing the girls or boy is beautiful or handsome but they wont realize the heart of the other and fall for that may be coz of that most of the love marriage fails only some love the people at some maturity will realize the true love and that won't be failed thats is a true love 

🤗

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1

I cannot agree more Xari.😊 Here is a hug 🤗  Wanted to give you one.

I do realize the 'support' from the family can be nothing more than a coercion tactic to stay in the marriage but it can also be otherwise. That is when it gets worse because you get no one to turn too..

I was rather talking about real support. This was years ago.. Happened in my neighborhood. Arranged marriage happened and the sweet relationship turned sour with an affair. Husband was gone in  a matter of months. The girl was left, pregnant

But more than her family, it was the MIL who supported her DIL and raised the child. I remember the elders even talking in a hush about how she had asked the girl to remarry. Of course it is another thing that the girl declined to marry again. She decided to pursue her studies further and did really well I think😊
That was the kind of support I meant. Something that makes you want to believe in love and family😛


I do believe that a love marriage is fine as long as one understands what love is.. Like you said, lust and simple attraction are considered to be divine love today. It is all chemistry you see😉 
And that attraction becomes too much that the ones who are barely out of their teens think that they are the next best thing after Romeo and Juliet.😕

In any marriage, love or arranged, it takes two people to make it work. There could be a little imbalance once in a while but if that goes on and on, then the marriage stops working..

Think about SNS.. Can you imagine what would have happened if Rashi married Ahem.. I am sure he would have divorced her on day 2 and she would have set fire to his hair.. One or the other would have happened for sure. The most frightening part is, Kokila was looking at a bride and Rashi may have been that person😲

Originally posted by: ANJ4

Well marriage ...ours is a love marriage and I could have not pick a better partner than my husband ...  we have the great relationship .. we were friends ...and now we are married ...  we love spending time together ... but there are things he like to do and I do not ... so I tell him go and do this with your friends...   and when I tell him i am going to have a girls night out ... he is ok...   I think communication is the biggest thing ... and we have that ...

I have gone of for a couple of days with my friend ...and the best thing is coming home and see my hubby...   he helps with the baby...   we both work...   and the baby is ours... not just mine or his.    So I think you have to have  a balance... 

Weather you marriage is arranged or love...you have to give it time...Even in love marriage you have to learn the other person habits...  you have to learn how to share...

I gohem  marriage gopi learned everything about ahem ... his likes and dislike... but ahem did not know anything about gopi's.   Until the school track... he did not know she wanted to learn how to read and write...  and after that he started to know more about her  and then the accident ... where he might loose her ... is when he thought ... what am I going to do with out gopi...  he was scared of  loosing her...

I think I have rambled on too long ...    but for me it is LOVE marriage...  

Originally posted by: Xarina

Ah but Delsi in a love marriage you ave the opportunity to know more about the other before you make that final decision.  Seeing the girl/boy is one thing but then you go on and learn more about the other. Marriage  after that is an extension of that love and a commitment.  

But your first paragraph has me asking the question.  Wouldn't that happen in an arranged marriage?  You will see the boy but not really know much about him until after the wedding.  All well if you are compatible but what if you are not?

Edited by delsi - 11 years ago

nice topic Xarina

nice postEdited by farheen.raji - 11 years ago

Delsi, The example that you have given is surely the most popular ways of 'love' today.
I still remember being flabbergasted as a classmate of mine in school, not more than 14 I think, told us that she was in 'love'😲 I mean really? 14 years.. Does someone even understand love and marriage at that age?😕


But I do agree with Xarina.. One gets to know the person better if it was a proper love story, something that was actually love.

I think the young generation these days are more influenced by the kind of love that they see advertised. What exactly do movies show today? I have seen one movie in which teenage love is glorified as something wonderful. The grieving and bereaved parents are projected as tyrants who are anti-love and the acts of defiance and 'sacrifice' for the attraction of two silly teenagers are called as 'pure'

That is what I do not agree with. I do not stand against love marriages. It is beautiful when two people fall in love before or after marriage and it is more beautiful when the love sustains. But I think the concept of 'being in love' is so much publicized that the true meaning is lost