||DOTW|| Love Marriage Ya Arranged? - Page 6

CONTEST : IPL 2024 Prediction Game

First Previous

Page

Frequent Posters

Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#51

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1
Xari, I do agree that in arranged marriages, maybe a larger percentage than desirable, the chance of choice from the girl is taken away.
But that is changing these days. Girls are allowed to have their say in who they choose to be their husbands. They are given the right to say No. But I agree that this choice may not be there for a lot of people.😕

However when one gets that choice, one needs to use it properly. In arranged marriages too, I think if not forced, the onus of making it work falls on the couple.

If the marriage was forced on the other hand, then it is a totally different thing. It is sad that concepts like honor and image come before a person's happiness, especially when that person is your own daughter/son😭

Honour is a questionable word in my book. It is honour that drives an otherwise sane parent to put his child's life at the altar of honour. Whether in bowing to society, brethren, rules and customs. This same honour will have this parent arranging an alliance without considering his child's wishes, dreams, comfort or future. Arranged marriages of the past leant heavily on this word and sentenced many a young person to a life of uphill struggles and even sadness.

Actually, I think honour would make a decent topic for a future DOTW.

Quote

Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#52

The word Honor is just used to solve ones purposes Xari.. that is all..

What makes me sadder is the fact that honor seems to be the only thing that sometimes makes people stick to marriages..

In case of Jigar, his offer to marry Rashi on the spot was to protect her 'honor' and his parents name but after that he has been smitten by her. Unfortunately that does not usually happen does it?

Even until recently, in UP, there were cases of grooms being blackmailed at gun point to marry a girl. What happens after that? Once married how will the girl survive with her 'husband'?

How can anyone expect the guy to feel alright after marriage and forget what happened?

Another example is something that happens even now at a lot of places.. Making the girl marry the person who raped her🤢 How cruel is that? She has to marry the person who violated her and let him violate her again and again, now under the pretext of being her husband😡😡 How horrible😭

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#53

But Harini, that is where I fail to see the honour thing as relating to Jigar's parents. They had not done anything wrong. Jigar made the decision to save Rashi's honour because he was manipulated into thinking that way. When Jigar made that decision did his parents not have one iota of a doubt if he was doing the right thing for himself? To be honest I think that they discharged their duty at that time.

Your last three sentences in your post highlight one of the atrocities carried out by man against his daughters, sisters and female relatives. It is a soul destroying thing for the girl to not only go through but to act as if nothing had happened. There is no justice for these poor girls.😭 The men who make these rules are as bad as the violators.😡 One wonders why the elder women don't stand up and say that it is wrong.

Quote

Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#54

Xari, the cruelest thing about that is the fact that it is women who are more into implementing the rule than the men. It is true that women can be women's own enemy.. I think the cruelty just seeps in due to years of being suppressed and having tolerated the same kind of atrocities.😭

As for Chirag and Hetal, I think only Koki really cared even then. Mota Bhai and Bhabhi cared naught.. the childhood friendship was cast away in a single moment😕.

II still remember Koki telling Mota Bhabhi that she will pay for allowing the marriage to happen one day. Unfortunately, Koki has paid for not having been a little more forceful

Quote

Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#55

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1
Xari, the cruelest thing about that is the fact that it is women who are more into implementing the rule than the men. It is true that women can be women's own enemy.. I think the cruelty just seeps in due to years of being suppressed and having tolerated the same kind of atrocities.😭

As for Chirag and Hetal, I think only Koki really cared even then. Mota Bhai and Bhabhi cared naught.. the childhood friendship was cast away in a single moment😕.

II still remember Koki telling Mota Bhabhi that she will pay for allowing the marriage to happen one day. Unfortunately, Koki has paid for not having been a little more forceful

Harini, such is the culture imbibed that even the girls who are educated, career driven and go getting they turn into Stepford Wives and follow in the footsteps of the generation of women before them without so much as a squeak.

In a normal world and situation I would say all good things come to those who wait. I seriously think that Koki should go and take her family with her. Expecially after Urmila having her turn. But this is SNS world where not only is justice blind but it is damn bl***y impotent as well.

Quote

yhm_craze

@yhm_craze

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#56

On the topic of a girl's choice in an arranged marriage, I would like to share a personal fact. I can proudly say that after my engagement (arranged of course), the guy's family thought that we are well and truly trapped (yep that still happens...even in cities amongst well educated families), they demanded dowry...and my parents without a care for honor or society simply broke off the alliance. I am lucky to have parents like that...cannot even tell how I felt thinking that I will be married into such a greedy familly. Inspite of being independent and educated, I almost went through with the marriage thinking about my parents. I pray that every girl who gets into a situation like that has parents like mine 😊.

Hence, I find the prospect of an arranged marriage very scary. Agreed, there is no guarantee of success in a love marriage as well, but I feel like arranged marriage is like stepping into a dark room blindfolded (bad example, but I am a little scared of darkness so this is apt for me 😆)

Quote

Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: dipsy80
On the topic of a girl's choice in an arranged marriage, I would like to share a personal fact. I can proudly say that after my engagement (arranged of course), the guy's family thought that we are well and truly trapped (yep that still happens...even in cities amongst well educated families), they demanded dowry...and my parents without a care for honor or society simply broke off the alliance. I am lucky to have parents like that...cannot even tell how I felt thinking that I will be married into such a greedy familly. Inspite of being independent and educated, I almost went through with the marriage thinking about my parents. I pray that every girl who gets into a situation like that has parents like mine 😊.
Hence, I find the prospect of an arranged marriage very scary. Agreed, there is no guarantee of success in a love marriage as well, but I feel like arranged marriage is like stepping into a dark room blindfolded (bad example, but I am a little scared of darkness so this is apt for me 😆)

Dipsy before this topic is closed I would like to wish you well in your hunt for a perfect match. I wish you the best but with parents like yours you are totally blessed. Good luck to you and them. I love he way that you all put each other first.

Quote

Xarina

@Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#58

Guys thank you for taking part on this journey with me. There were a lot of insights and cool discussions. Thank you again 🤗

Quote

1 2 3 4 5 6