Originally posted by: Justlikethat1
Xari, the risk of compatibility is there is both love as well as arranged marriages. I guess that is why marriages, irrespective of whether they are love or arranged marriage will fail if it destined to be
Yes. Compatibility is an issue. But in arranged marriages, I have this feeling that one tries a bit more if there is no compatibility.. Maybe because there is this outside chance that you may be wrong and have not understood the person yet😊 Plus in arranged marriages, there is this constant family support you get.
The thing is, today, I think it does not matter. Arranged and love marriages go through the same grind and I will surely not argue with which one is better..
As many examples as I can give for successful arranged marriages, I can give one or two morbid tales too that will make one scared to enter into a relationship.
It was in the 70's and 80's I think. The faze about grooms being international. There was a fad and there are chilling tales about how young, pretty woman were fooled to marry and were abandoned.. All this would not have happened if it had been a love marriage? 🤔 I don't know..
But I do know one thing. the definition of ''love Marriage' today is very different from what one would envision. Today, love pops up on sight and continues for 2 weeks, a proposal and then this hard headed attitude that your parents are against you. Is that love?😕 What would one call a real love marriage? And is today's fast track love even called love? Does it not come under the category of 'attraction'?
@ bold 1. Compatibility is always the main issue in any marriage. In a 'love marriage' you have time to find out more about the person you are about to marry. Their likes, dislikes, mood swings and what makes them tick. It may be fun learning about that post marriage but imagine waking up and thinking that you have made a huge mistake?
@bold 2: don't mistake that family support for concern, speaking in the general terms, as often it can come across as more concern for the family honour. I may be revealing a bit too much here. But imagine being threatened, bullied to continue in the marriage by your 'loved' ones who then turn a blind eye to your predicament later on.
@ bold 3. I wouldn't exactly class that as love. Many people will mistake lust for love and think that it is the one when in actual fact it may be the former and fizzle out after a while.
In all cases to make a marriage work you need two people who are committed to building a life together, people who will think like one and cherish and respect the other. Not one who is a free loader and in it just to have someone run around after them and is me,me,me all the time.
Looking at my first paragraph I cannot say that I am an advocate for either marriage. Love can die, you can look upon marriage as a business contract where love is not involved but a mutual understanding is there.
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