Ego......BAD or Good???

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

"Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss." ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Ego: One human characteristic that comes naturally but is always unwanted. It resides in all ages, race, religion, male or female. But is it always bad? It is Vasu's ego that is stoping her to obtain all the happiness that she is wishing for. She wants the happiness of her sons and bahu's she can be proud of. But she is blinded by her ego to seeing the real qualites in her bahus. Her ego has made her go to the extent of puting her own loved one's in emotional pain by faking her illness. For what? Just to win? But it is not only just ego, its jealousy, judgement and self-fish personality, these also contributes to her un-motherly nature. So is it ego it self that makes a demon like Vasu? On the other hand we have Alekh and Ranveer, who aslo somewhere are egoistic. Yes, Alekh let all his worries and promises on the side to be by his ill mother, but he also left as soon as he found out the truth. He had left when he found out the truth about the 5 lakh. Ranveer also has left after finding out his mother used Alekh's mental illness to take away what he has accomplished. Even though Vasu pleaded that she would never call "her son" mental, he did not believe her for a second and left home. Some where its both brothers ego that have lead them to leave home and accomplish happiness for themselves to prove to their mother what they are able to do, that they "don't need their Rajvansh name".....that is ego...to prove to control one's life. But we have no problem in that ego...why? Ranveer and Alekh both could have stayed home and did everything from home. They could have given back their father their part in the inheritance, they could have just gave Vasu the silent treatment, they could have just come home to be home but lived like individuals. I am in no way taking Vasu's side..I wouldn't even do that in my dream. But what I am trying to ask and explain is that there are two types of Ego's.......whether they are for good or bad does that make a difference. Are you still away from eternal bliss no matter how you use your ego??........The foursome will be happy together, but will it be complete bliss....without the love of their mother??

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Rachna Patel

@hrithikluvr

Navigator

Posted: 16 years ago

Everyone should have a little bit of ego because if used in a positive way this can create self-pride and self-confidence. However, if ego becomes the belief of superiority above others then that is obviously wrong as in vasu's case.

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: hrithikluvr
Everyone should have a little bit of ego because if used in a positive way this can create self-pride and self-confidence. However, if ego becomes the belief of superiority above others then that is obviously wrong as in vasu's case.

Very good point...........just to play devil's advocate.........isn't now Alekh and Ranveers ego superior then the emotional support their mother may need?

AGAIN: I am in no what defending Vasu...just talking about ego.........so don't kill me guys..lol😆

Edited by taral83 - 16 years ago

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agun

@agun

Navigator

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: taral83

Very good point...........just to play devil's advocate.........isn't now Alekh and Ranveers ego superior then the emotional support their mother may need?

AGAIN: I am in no what defending Vasu...just talking about ego.........so don't kill me guys..lol😆

I think it is more of self respect that Alekh and Ranveer showed and self respect is very important for any individual....Ranvir knowing what his mother is up to cannot tolerate to be in the same house as his mother...Alekh knowing how his mother has played with his wife's and his emotions would definitely want to do justice with his wife. I think Vasu needs to get separated from her sons to know their worth...Being in the same house and giving silent treatment would have worked for vasu's lesser crimes....she definitely crossed the limits here.

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: agun

I think it is more of self respect that Alekh and Ranveer showed and self respect is very important for any individual....Ranvir knowing what his mother is up to cannot tolerate to be in the same house as his mother...Alekh knowing how his mother has played with his wife's and his emotions would definitely want to do justice with his wife. I think Vasu needs to get separated from her sons to know their worth...Being in the same house and giving silent treatment would have worked for vasu's lesser crimes....she definitely crossed the limits here.

So egoism is not always bad?... if its good reasons then its called self-respect......for the bad reason its called Egoism...........I am very proud of Alekh and Ranveer, but I also believe that Vasu is still their mother. Their responsibility towards her doesn't end either. So basically now what..they will just wait till their mother realizes their worth and not bow their head. Or was it wiser and more morally correct to fight their mothers odd ways in the same home, but bringing back Sadhna and giving her the respect she deserves in her own home. The separation will only add to Vasu's egoism, not deminish it.......until the a high point in her life........something really big.....untill then she will continue to harm them...unknowing of her own son's happiness..as Alekh said "she is a mother, she can not wish bad, but she doesn't understand my happiness." this is due to the fact of her blinding ego. But Alekh is also failing to realize that his steps are also adding to Vasu's behavior.

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: taral83
"Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss." ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Ego: One human characteristic that comes naturally but is always unwanted. It resides in all ages, race, religion, male or female. But is it always bad? It is Vasu's ego that is stoping her to obtain all the happiness that she is wishing for. She wants the happiness of her sons and bahu's she can be proud of. But she is blinded by her ego to seeing the real qualites in her bahus. Her ego has made her go to the extent of puting her own loved one's in emotional pain by faking her illness. For what? Just to win? But it is not only just ego, its jealousy, judgement and self-fish personality, these also contributes to her un-motherly nature. So is it ego it self that makes a demon like Vasu? On the other hand we have Alekh and Ranveer, who aslo somewhere are egoistic. Yes, Alekh let all his worries and promises on the side to be by his ill mother, but he also left as soon as he found out the truth. He had left when he found out the truth about the 5 lakh. Ranveer also has left after finding out his mother used Alekh's mental illness to take away what he has accomplished. Even though Vasu pleaded that she would never call "her son" mental, he did not believe her for a second and left home. Some where its both brothers ego that have lead them to leave home and accomplish happiness for themselves to prove to their mother what they are able to do, that they "don't need their Rajvansh name".....that is ego...to prove to control one's life. But we have no problem in that ego...why? Ranveer and Alekh both could have stayed home and did everything from home. They could have given back their father their part in the inheritance, they could have just gave Vasu the silent treatment, they could have just come home to be home but lived like individuals. I am in no way taking Vasu's side..I wouldn't even do that in my dream. But what I am trying to ask and explain is that there are two types of Ego's.......whether they are for good or bad does that make a difference. Are you still away from eternal bliss no matter how you use your ego??........The foursome will be happy together, but will it be complete bliss....without the love of their mother??

Well there is a difference in Vasu's behaviour and Alekh-Ranvir's. There is just a small difference between Ego & Self-Respect. There is no problem in maintaining your self respect. And in this case, watever Alekh Ranvir is doing, is to just protect their self respect. All this while they dint have a problem in being associated with Rajvansh, but only when Vasu challenged them that they are nothing without the 'Rajvansh' tag, both of their self respect was hurt and watever they are doing now is just to protect it. Not only that, as far as Alekh is concerned, he is still confused as to who he is and what is he capable of as he has never tried himself independent of Rajvansh name. So like Maamaji said, now he wants to find and establish himself. This is not ego.

Infact in spirituality itself it is said, spirituality is where you try to find answers as to who you are and why you are here on earth. And one of the main criterion in spirituality is self-confidence & self-respect. As a person who cannot respect himself, cannot respect anyone or anything else. Thus finding your actual self and what you are capable of is very important if you want to attain Self-Realisation.

So if someone wants to establish themselves and stand on their own feet to find out what they are capable of, its not Ego, its just self-confidence and self-respect. They had never thought of doing all this, but now the situation itself is such that they have to. And the main reason why Alekh is doing this is because he cannot go to Rajvansh house with Sadhna as Vasu has said before itself she will not allow Sadhna in the house.

In Vasu's case, its definitely ego, nothing else. It is clearly potrayed. And along with ego, the other traits you have mentioned about her like selfishness, pride, judgemental, biased, etc., are also true.

And you are saying Alekh leaving Vasu after he found out that his mother once again played a game with him and this time she played with her sons' emotions, is actually Alekh's ego?! No its not. He is just hurt that this was just her game. Inspite of knowing this was Vasu's game, if Vasu would have asked Alekh to come back, and that she will also accept Sadhna, maybe Alekh would have stayed. But no, Vasu wants Alekh to leave Sadhna inspite of knowing Sadhna is his life. And Alekh did the right thing by staying back when Vasu was in hospital. He even sacrificed his new job. After realising his mom cheated him again, if he doesn't want to stay with her, its not his ego, its just his self-respect.

Same goes for Ranvir. Even after Alekh left the house, Ranvir dint leave. Only after he realised that it was his mom who played with Alekh's feelings and created lot of difficulties for him, he left finally. And how can u blame Ranvir for not trusting his own mom. You think Vasu remains trustworthy after everything she did to her sons? After playing so many games and cheating and lying to her sons left and right, if their sons don't trust her when she said the truth that she dint call her son paagal, how can you blame them? What not lies had she said till today, starting from getting Sadhna married to Alekh, to lying about Sadhna divorcing Alekh, etc. When a person lies and cheats so much, even if he/she says the truth later, no one will believe them. That's very normal.

Regarding mother's love, if a mother behaves the way Vasu did, just imagine how much she hurt her sons. Definitely both of them need their mother's love and inspite of everything you have heard Alekh's dialgoues about how much he loves his mom and that Ranvir should go back for his mom. But if the mother is saying she will not allow the girl whom his son loves more than anything in this world to enter their house, what can he do? Alekh has some duties towards his wife right, so how can he abandon his wife and stay alone at Rajvansh house?

So I hope I have clearly explained the distinction between Ego & Self-Respect. What Vasu is facing is Ego, & as far as Ranvir and Alekh are concerned, its just Self-Respect.

Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 16 years ago

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

@ dewdrop~pearl*

Agree with every word you say.....but what I am trying to point out is why do the two brothers have to stay away from there mother to prove themselves? Why can't Alekh not bring back Sadhna to the Rajvansh home..it is his home also?........Just like they have broken all ties and left home...why couldn't they break all ties but stayed home and proved themselves. I think that would have put Vasu in a bigger dilema. As I said Egoism is still egoism, whether it is bad or good, and it will never give to bliss. The foursome will accomplish everything, but if Vasu doesn't change then all their work will go in vain. What we think is self-fishness in Vasu, Vasu thinks its self-respect for herself. She has to prove herself right, that her son's are nothing with out their last name. Just like Alekh and Ranveer have to prove that they are something with out their name, to show and prove their self-respect, good or bad, its still egoism. And egoism will never create bliss...........

Edited by taral83 - 16 years ago

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: taral83
@ dewdrop~pearl*

Agree with every word you say.....but what I am trying to point out is why do the two brothers have to stay away from there mother to prove themselves? Why can't Alekh not bring back Sadhna to the Rajvansh home..it is his home also?........Just like they have broken all ties and left home...why couldn't they break all ties but stayed home and proved themselves. I think that would have put Vasu in a bigger dilema. As I said Egoism is still egoism, whether it is bad or good, and it will never give to bliss. The foursome will accomplish everything, but if Vasu doesn't change then all their work will go in vain. What we think is self-fishness in Vasu, Vasu thinks its self-respect for herself. She has to prove herself right, that her son's are nothing with out their last name. Just like Alekh and Ranveer have to prove that they are something with out their name, to show and prove their self-respect, good or bad, its still egoism. And egoism will never create bliss...........

I understand what you mean. But Alekh cannot bring back Sadhna na as Vasu has strictly said that she will not allow Sadhna inside her house. So Alekh knows there is no point in bringing Sadhna as even if he brings her, she will not get any respect or 'izzat' in Vasu's house. So being her husband, its Alekh's responsibilty to make sure his wife lives in respect.

And its not that both the sons dint try to sort situations by being with their mom. Its just that Vasu crossed all her limits and took her sons to such an extent that they had no other choice but to leave her. And they also know its only on a temporary basis. They know that eventually their mom will understand her mistake and the moment Vasu will call them back genuinely, and agree to respect her son's wife, that moment they all will come back running. And thats wat Sadhna's & Ragini's effort would also be directed towards.

And selfishness cannot be compared to self-respect. And self-respect is not what an individual thinks, just because Vasu has ego or is selfish and thinks that is self-respect, it doesnt mean it is. Self respect is always reasonable and justified, but selfish acts that cannot be justified cannot be called self-respect. And self-respect has nothing to prove. A person doesnt maintain self-respect to prove it to anyone. Its just to keep himself/herself satisfied and rooted.

Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 16 years ago

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Sai Datta

@sayeed007

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

ur topic is so nice, taral83.😊

i'm sorry bcoz i've no idea to talk to you about moral sciences and wise rules. i will try bcoz i'm deaf. sorry.😊

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: sayeed87

ur topic is so nice, taral83.😊

i'm sorry bcoz i've no idea to talk to you about moral sciences and wise rules. i will try bcoz i'm deaf. sorry.😊

that is ok try your best, all comments are welcomed

and this can be looked at in a different way also, you dont have to really understand moral sciences. Do you think that Alekh and Ranvir did the right thing by leaving their mother? could they have found another way to to balance both their mother and wife and still figure out a way to change Vasu?....Moral values was just a base line for me....to explain the situation that they are in...........Though I feel that Alekh and Ranvir did do the right, sometimes I feel like they didn't.

Edited by taral83 - 16 years ago

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Ego......BAD or Good???

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