Live in relationship vs Marriage - Page 4

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

its a very sacred bonding which is greater than blood relations.partners r soul mates they share all the happiness and sorrows, they commit for a life time,they raise children together and children have the security that their parents r always there for them, Marriage is forever.

If statistics backed any truth in this, I would have felt the same way. 
Did you know that divorce rate is lower yet cheating and extramarital affairs are extremely high in asian countries?? 
So much for the traditional bond for a life time and beyond !   I work for NARIKA, a bay area association for women whose husbands are abusive.  Yes, they all work on the BOND and get what?  tears??  Check out the alarming statistics on web , check out our work at narika, SF bay area and I will in the mean while, try to add a few links to back up my arguments.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

If statistics backed any truth in this, I would have felt the same way. 
Did you know that divorce rate is lower yet cheating and extramarital affairs are extremely high in asian countries?? 
So much for the traditional bond for a life time and beyond !   I work for NARIKA, a bay area association for women whose husbands are abusive.  Yes, they all work on the BOND and get what?  tears??  Check out the alarming statistics on web , check out our work at narika, SF bay area and I will in the mean while, try to add a few links to back up my arguments.

i knw even i dnt trust men with my life but i would just like to believe this.and live in relation gives them the perfect right to dump u at any time have relation with anyone else behind ur back.but in marriage they atleast have to take the pain to keep their affairs a secret😆 this itself gives me satisfaction😆 i am a sadist here.😆 i will also join u in narika after my marrage.

my parents and others relatives have had a peaceful married life i would just wish for that much.

my condition is either every thing or nothing. that is full commitment or nothing. live in r very condusive to men atleast in india and very harmful for women if nothing comes out of it.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

QT

Edited by souro - 17 years ago

souro this is wht i wanted to say. y hesitate from a little paper work when the rules r the same?

ya there may be one reason that after marriage if u seperate then u have to pay alimony which is not the case with live in u can just say bye just like that.

this is y i say live in may be more condusive to men than women.

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

ya there may be one reason that after marriage if u seperate then u have to pay alimony which is not the case with live in u can just say bye just like that.

this is y i say live in may be more condusive to men than women.

so do women marry for the little paper that provides them ALIMONY?? is that the security of marriage?   😆
We are not talking about dependent housemakers here!  Yes, live in would be a complete no no for them.  We are talking about independent women who can take care of themselves, yet want to be with somebody, not because a paper matters, but because the feelings matter.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

(in relationship with trees, my thoughts are otherwise 😉 , live in could be hard, so just get married 😆)

🤣🤣🤣. I am waiting to see when tree divorces Ms. Rai. What will she get in alimony?

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

i knw even i dnt trust men with my life but i would just like to believe this.  my parents and others relatives have had a peaceful married life i would just wish for that much.

my condition is either every thing or nothing. that is full commitment or nothing. live in r very condusive to men atleast in india and very harmful for women if nothing comes out of it.

sandhya, i completely respect your opinion and marriage isn't bad for most of the time 😃.  i am not in a live in either.  eloped, but did get married.. so..  😆😆  I wish you a very happy married life just like the others in your family.  After meeting with several couples who are living-in, I formed a new opinion, different from my earlier and juts shared the views.  That's all..

Originally posted by: Maya_M

🤣🤣🤣. I am waiting to see when tree divorces Ms. Rai. What will she get in alimony?

thnx my friend!! i was dying for someone to notice that one line there.. 😳😆😆.  She will get plenty of chrorophyll and Oxygen 😛 as alimony you bet!

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Oh dear!  Hurting people because of a live in relationship?  How??  As long as it is a committed relationship, why not?  yeah.. it does leave the sans-bahu saga out of the book.  Now f it hurts the saans, then good for the bahu anyway 😉.  If I strongly showed disbelief in marriage , yet loved a man to spend the rest of my life with, I expect my loved ones to SUPPORT me.  If they cannot, then it is THEIR choice to be hurt.   That should not burden me to a certain thing against my wish.  Emotional blackmailing is not healthy.  Moreover, you could be divorced anyway!  So what security are we talking about for the average people?  By divorce I mean an emotional divorce which an alarming percentage of married people have within forst 10 years of marriage.  they may live together till they die, but that doesn;t make their marriage healthy either.

Ok, here my my take.. Live-in relationships always fall outside the well accepted value system.... So either you believe in marriage (which falls inside the value system) or dont.. If you dont you are free to live whichever way yo want but if you do, i dont think you ought to expect any right to tweak the concept as per your convenience.. so lets say u believe and decide to be in a live-in relationship - at worst you are sleeping with a different man every day at best you have a 30 year-old boy born out of wedlock and who prides in his unmarried parents.. In either case people within the value system typically wont accept them and feel hurt. So all i am saying once u enjoy live-in dont come back saying to wanna marry someone... vandalizing a perfect value system with experimentation or logic is literally destroying it....😊