"What's your name?" I asked Ayush, keeping my eyes on his and concentrating on the ring clutched in my hand. I tried to keep my face the way RAW's deputy director back in Delhi had while he interrogated me about Kartik.
"Ayush." He leaned back his chair and rapped on the glass table.
"What's your full name?" I continued.
"Oh come on, Princess!" He whined. Yes, the highly-trained-future-intelligence-in-making, whined. "That's boring!"
"Ayush!"
"Yes, that's absolutely correct. A pi for the Einstein!" He replied sarcastically, and then he leaned forward and lifted the hand that had ring in it. "See! Not lying!"
"What were you doing in the room that I landed in at five in the morning."
"Four fifty two." He corrected me. "Now that's better!"
"Ayush, answer the question!"
"I was typing, didn't you notice?" He asked, grinning like an idiot. "Did you have fun last night?"
"I am sure that is not Mr. Saxena wants us to practice about for this exercise."
"So you did!" He acknowledged my answer with a nod. "We should do it again sometime."
Now I don't know how you interpret boy tones, but I glanced at the ring in my hand. Ayush wasn't lying. And if I am not mistaken by a heavy-teenage-hormone-head, Ayushman Kashyap just asked me out on a date.
"Where are you from?" I asked, ignoring his unnecessary comments.
"Ashvamedh Academy for Boys." He said, his eyes on the table where his finger made patterns as he said the words in a sing-song manner.
"What do your parents do?" I asked, risking. Ayush's fingers halted and he looked up at me. There was no humor, no playfulness in his eyes, and for a moment, I almost regretted asking him that.
"What do you think they do?" He questioned me back.
"They're RAW?" I guessed.
"They used to be." Ayush said after a moment, and right then the bell rang.
I didn't feel like asking anything else. I knew that the details were classified, and sad. But in that instance, that moment, I felt like maybe, somehow even Ayushman Kashyap was a bit like me.
"See you later Neesh!" Dr. Mehta said as I smiled back and made my way out of his lab. He held me back to fix some smoke detectors. Panchi had caught the monsoon cold, and Dr. Mehta refused to let her get anywhere near the smoke. So after spending two hours testing, fixing and installing 63 smoke detectors (all used in the Royal institute.) I made my way back to my room to take a good shower.
The halls were silent, and I knew all the girls were probably preparing for the next quizzes, practicing new moves or if they are Juhi Mathur, gossiping. I paused on my way when I heard shouts coming from P&E Barn. I stepped out of the school's gate and made my way towards the ground, wondering what is Kiya doing in P&E barn at 6:30 in the evening. The clouds were dark above me, and it was almost dark, but I could still see everything clearly. The lights in the Barn were on, and I opened the door slightly.
Kiya was practicing her moves. I know it was because she wanted to get to our level as soon as possible, so that didn't surprise me, but what surprised me was she was practicing her moves on Keshav Desai. I stared as he encouraged her to hit him, and he kept blocking all her moves. She was outraged, to say the least. Her eyes glared at him as she jumped and gave him a rounded kick that he easily blocked. KD was good.
I watched as she fell on the floor defeated. KD walked closer to her and sat before her, whispering words.
"Come here." He said, and opened his arms a little for her. Kiya pushed his arms away. He held her wrist and held them in place. "kiya!" He said with authority in his voice. Kiya's shoulders slumped and she let her head fall on his chest. The sight was surprising, but I felt like I was interrupting an intimate moment. So, I turned and walked away again, as silent as possible.
The rain started pouring down, and I sighed. The first rain always made me smile. It reminded me of the times I spent with mom and dad, analyzing the surroundings while enjoying a nice tea.
I was just slightly wet when I entered the dome right outside Grand Hall. Mr. Saxena was standing there, staring at the Royal Institute emblem. His eyes were unfocused and his hand crossed across his chest. He was very a black shirt and dark jeans. His eyes didn't move as I softly entered the hall echoing with raindrops above.
In that late evening shadow, he almost looked like dad.
"Hey Neeshu." He said, his eyes still on the emblem.
"Hey Mr. Saxena." I said, unsure. His eyes lifted and for the first time since I had seen him rushing down the Grand Hall at breakfast in his black leather jacket, Mr. Saxena smiled at me. Though a soft, small smile, Mr. Saxena smiled. At me.
"You can call me Uncle Jay." He said. I felt my eyes widen. "You always did."
"I have met you before?" I asked surprised. His smile saddened, but he was still smiling.
"Those were you first words." He whispered, and without my knowledge, my breathing shallowed.
"Mr. Saxena--"
"Come." He tilted his head towards wherever he was taking me. I followed him, because I wanted to. We climbed the stairs and his pace was slow, walking beside me.
I felt rush of emotions and I didn't know how to put them in words. The knowledge of him even knowing me was new. All this time, I thought he did know me through dad maybe, or maybe he had read my filed in the covert unit. But Mr. Saxena was more than my teacher.
He was my father's best friend.
He was Uncle Jay.
I don't remember anything. Your faintest memory starts developing after you turn four. If you try hard enough, you will remember something from those young years. But I couldn't remember anything.
It wasn't until we turned yet another corner that I realized we weren't going anywhere. We were just, walking. He finally stopped at the top of the stairs that led to roof. We sat there, the raindrops so close above our head. He sat on the second highest step, and I moved to sit beside him. I didn't know why he brought me here, but my instinct told me it was important, and it was personal. And Mr. Saxena always said that when you have nothing in hand, follow your instincts.
A moment later he slipped out a packet from the back of his shirt. I frowned looking at the brown envelope. He stared at it for a moment before handing it to me.
"I thought you would like to keep it." He said. I started to say something, but then stopped. I didn't know what to say. The packet was already ripped open on the side. I slid my finger and flipped it over my palm. A stack of pictures slid into my hand. I put the envelope in my lap and scanned through pictures. They were pictures of Mr. Saxena, mom and my dad, from when they were young, and until their last meeting. I looked at Mr. Saxena surprised. "I--"
"Why?" I cut him off.
"I don't think they are safe with me." He replied, looking out into the rain through the window before us. The school was silent and the only sound was raining. Reminding me again and again of how I trusted my favorite teacher more than I have trusted any other teacher. I didn't ask him why, because I knew the details are confidential, like any other words spoken by him.
I reluctantly went on to put the pictures back in the envelope, but something fell on the steps from it and I stared at the little Om pendant in astonishment. I went on and picked it up. My eyes widened again and I turned to look at Mr. Saxena who was staring at the little piece of silver.
"I have my reasons." He said. "You will know in time."
Time. There is time to hide secrets; there is time to reveal them. But most of the time, what we lack is time itself. Mr. Saxena looked at me with calculating eyes and then with one swift moment, he got up and started down the stairs.
The passage behind the kitchen has two benefits. I can sit there for hours and go get some food whenever I want. But I think the most beautiful thing about it is that I can sit on a windowpane, out of everyone's eyes and stare at the twinkling sky behind the tinted glass.
That Saturday evening, I read the journal again, trying to make sense of the codes. I had to crack this code, to know what my dad had really wanted me to know. He left his journal to me right before he went for this mission. He said it was important, and that he will explain it when he is back.
He never came back.
I closed the journal and wore my headphones, listening to any possible noise from the boys' suites. The pendant pressed against my neck skin.
I sat there for what felt like hours. It was almost eleven thirty, so I decided to leave.
"The tour is closed, huh?"
I banged my head in to the low window celing above me. "Ow! What are you doing here?" I cried at Ayush's ghostly figure illuminated by the night moon.
"Let me see." He moved towards me and put his hand behind my head, feeling for a bump. "You'll live!"
"You're being nice." I frowned.
"Shh! Don't tell anybody!" He said with a small smile as I made a face at him. "So, did you bugs here anything?"
11:27pm Operative Rai realized that the Subject purposely left the bugs to mislead them, or they are trying to make the operative admit that there actually are more bugs, or they are trying to make a covert talk.
"What happened, Princess?" He titled his face, peering at me. "No snappy comebacks? Nonexistent cat named Daisy got your tongue?"
My eyes went wide. "How did you know about Daisy?"
But before I could end my sentence, Ayush leaned his shoulder against the window beside me, into his signature pose. I turned to him with a glare. He pointed his thumb at his chest and said with a smug smile. "Spy."
I didn't know whether to bang my head or his. Anger bubbled inside me as I glared him through the pale moonlight. Then all of a sudden, Ayush's hand moved towards my face and his fingers moved few strands of hair out my face. And then as if electrocuted took his hand away and put his hand in his pockets and looked down at the floor.
"Why--" Ayush's question was cut off by loud alarming voices. The window behind me was suddenly covered with a loud bang of iron curtain. Ayush looked at me, confused.
"What is this?" He shouted above the loud sirens.
"CODE BLACK! CODE BLACK!" The sirens boomed. I grabbed his hand and ran towards the exit, climbing up the hidden stairs.
"Code black! Emergency shut down of the school!" I shouted back. Code Black isn't very popular in our school. The last time there was a Code Black was forty five years ago, when a terrorist group had tried to break in to find an old professor.
There were two types of codes at Royal Institute. Code Black, and Code Red. The Code Red sends school under a disguise of an ordinary school, while Code Black--goes under total major shut down. As we ran past the corridors, I saw the trashcans burning; they were automated to burn during emergencies. The bins marked "Burn Bags" emerged into flames. All the shelves and wall decors were covers with heavy metal plates.
The chandeliers above us that are usually scene as decorations lighted up in a faint yellow glow.
"I thought they were for decorations." Ayush said.
"Well, now you know they are not." I replied.
"Does this happen often?" Ayush asked, running with me.
"No." I shook my head, and that is what scared me the most.
"Gen!" I shouted in relief as I spotted my best friend running towards me, Panchi and Kiya on her tail.
"Neesha! What were you doing here alone!" She said concerned. I shook my head.
"Actually Ay--" I turned to look for the boy who did always found me during my lonest times, but he wasn't there. I frowned and looked around through the yellow lights that filled the corridor. Ayushman Kashyap was nowhere in sight.
"What were you doing outside your room Neesha?" My mother asked. I don't think this can get any worse. Mr. Saxena sat on other leather couch across me. His hands were draped on the couch and his head leaning back. He looked tired. It was seven in the morning of Sunday after all.
"I was sitting by the Hall of History window." I lied, but that was because there was no ring telling my mom. I wondered if she would catch my lie. A flicker of amusement passed through her eyes and I knew she caught me.
"Why?" She asked me anyway.
"Because I wasn't sleepy. Its not like we are not allowed to roam the building at odd hours!" I tried to reason. My mom sighed, because I was right.
"Did you see anything?" She asked me, her eyes concerned.
"No." I said. I should have told her about Ayush, but I didn't because I was a spy. And spies lie until they find the truth.
"Are you sure?" Mr. Saxena asked me, and for a moment he looked more like a person looking out for his best friend's daughter then a strict teacher. I nodded, keeping my eyes leveled. He nodded back and put his head back against the couch.
"Okay." My mom said and I didn't wait for a second before turning on my heels and walking out of her room. My thoughts wandered off to Ayush again. Why did he just vanish?
"Hey Neesha." Juhi came besides me during lunch. I looked up at her. This is not good. "I heard you tried to sneak out to meet Kartik for that dance party. Is it true?"
"No!" I exclaimed. "Why the hell would I breach security like that?"
"So you what were you doing then?" She demanded. I glanced at Ayush.
"I was talking to Ayush." I said, but he didn't look up at us.
"Ayush? You were with Ayush?" Juhi exclaimed.
I poked at my salad. "Why don't you go ask him Juhi?" I glared at Ayush who sat across me.
She quickly slid her hands off from the table and straightened to look at Ayush. "Were you?" She asked, her voice chirpy as ever. Ayush looked up from his food and frowned as if he never heard her question.
"Were you with Neesha during Code Black?" Ayush didn't even look me as he answered her question.
"Neesha? Rai? Of course not!" He scoffed. My heart clenched, and all I could do was stare down at my food, my appetite long gone. After Juhi was gone with an 'okay', I got up and excused myself. I wasn't hungry anymore.
For the whole day, he kept avoiding me for some reason. Well, it just makes my to-do easier, doesn't it?
I was running the track through corridors on Friday evening wearing my tank top and shorts. My pace slowed down and I sighed. I ran for about five kilometers. I slowly walked out towards the P&E Barn to sign my hours. It wasn't until I stepped inside the Barn that I saw Ayush punching the punching bag angrily. I silently walked over to the table in the corner and signed my hours.
"You're a conceited, bigheaded jerk." I said, turning around and leaning against the table with my palms on the edge. "You know that right?" Ayush didn't reply. He kept punching the big bag. "You're a sick lier!"
"Spy." He said, like he always does, pausing only for a second before resuming his exercise, as if that made everything better. Beads of sweat rolled off his temple, and on the matt below us. His eyes were focused on the bag and his hands hit the bag, sure and synched. His hair was wet from sweat, and his usually pushed up hairs fell over his forehead in wet slicks. His wife-beater stuck to him like
"Ayush!" I shouted because he acted as if he forgot I was still there. "Why would you say that you weren't with me? You know I wouldn't breach security like that!"
"Oh! I thought it was a false alarm." He said in a manner that didn't think it was a false alarm. I walked around towards him and before he could hit it again, I punched it. He cocked his head and stepped around.
"Good. Now put your--"
"I know how to do it!" I shouted. He cocked his head again and smirked that knowing smirk at me.
"Do you?" He asked. And then I kicked the bag with all my might and for long enough, Ayush stood there, doubled over, clenching his stomach. "Good one, Princess." He breathed out.
"Don't call me that!"
"Look!" He snapped at me. I glared at him in return, because he sure as hell didn't deserve a smile. "You really want people to know were together in the middle of night? I don't see how me being with you was important to Juhi Mathur!"
I thought about it, and well, he was right. I would have hated being linked to him, but after the world goes blank and you're the one blamed for it, your perspectives tend to change a little.
"Besides," He started again, swiping the sweat of from his lips with the back of his hand. Had it not been such a serious situation, I would I bet they look redder. "I thought you like to keep your interludes secret and your boyfriend private."
"That was not an interlude! And you're not my boyfriend."
"Yeah." He said, punching the bag harder. "I noticed."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"You're the Princess--Royal Girl." He said. "You figure it out."
Boys! They are those species I would never understand! I seriously need Panchi to fix that boy-to-simplistic language translator and put it in a necklace or something. But then again, I wonder if those things can ever detect spies.
Let's just say, Boy Spies are the most complicated species I did ever meet.
"Beside," He said. "At our school, they teach us to keep a secret."
"Yeah, I know. I got to a school like yours."
Then Ayush looked at me with an expression I did never seen before. It was as if he was trying to tell me something. Then his voice softened and he asked. "Do you?"