16th January
Okay, so I may have done a slightly stupid thing...erm, again.
In the evening, Karan came over demanding for an explanation as to why I haven't seen him or avoided him and things like that. I didn't have any reply to that, and I'm an abysmally bad liar, so I did what I thought would be a good idea. I went up to him and kissed him. And his groping began. It made me really wish I hadn't thought of this idea. Really, WHAT has happened to my logical brain nowadays? Where has it gone? Because, frankly speaking, I miss it.
I mean, if I did have that logical brain still there, I'd have known better than to kiss Karan right after I'd had the most wonderful kiss of my life. With KD. But that's just a technicality. No wait, it isn't. It's THE most freaking important detail of the whole scenario. I kissed KD; for a LONG time; despite having a boyfriend. And what a kiss it was. Damn.
Okay I'm digressing. Anyway, I almost pushed him back as soon as he really got 'into' the whole kissing thing. I find his hands repulsive. I mean, while it is true that he hasn't pressured me into doing anything that I don't feel comfortable with over the past year, he hasn't been subtle about WANTING to do it either.
I mean, I felt absolutely horrible when I kissed Karan this evening. It was...blah. That's the word I can use to describe that kiss. I mean, it was awkward, it was harried and it felt like his hands were groping more than usual. I had to push him twice and remind him that my mother may come in any minute. Although, he didn't buy that either because he knew my mom would rather stay at her parties rather than come and check up on what I'm doing.
That's beside the point. I mean, had someone else with a smirk and tall, lean muscular chest and a face that I've come to hate been doing the same thing that Karan was doing, I'd have let him. Because he has ways of making me feel special. He makes the whole thing sensual, even if it's just a simple kiss and he looks at me like I'm some sort of a magnet that he can't pull his eyes away from.
Great. Here I go again comparing my boyfriend to my arch nemesis. Although, I may have to reconsider the last part. I mean, I can't tag him as my nemesis now. I've kissed him...twice. More gladly the second time and I can't remember any other kiss that I've gotten except for the one that he planted on me and now I don't know what to do! Actually, I think I do know what I want to do. But it's gonna push up my title as a 'two timing witch with a B' to a whole new level.
Because, what I've forgotten to mention it is, that after the heavenly kiss that I had, I made my way to Chemistry class. One in which a certain Keshav Desai is my lab partner. I know right? The timing is just fantastic! Yes, that was sarcastic.
So, when he sauntered in oh-so-casually, his eyes landed RIGHT on our table; at me, specifically. And his smirk turned into a slow smile. That is the strangest thing I've ever seen. I have seen KD smirk, grin sarcastically, laugh, chuckle, and every other form there is for expressing happiness; but never once have I seen him smiling the way he was at that particular moment. Now, the deal with Chemistry class is that we have the desk farthest in the classroom, which is more of a cubicle, so that only our upper halves are seen and the loser half of the table is covered. You can see where I'm going with this, can't you?
Okay, so as soon as the teacher started droning about some concept, that I currently havee a hard time remembering about, not that you'd care anyway, KD slid his foot right next to mine. And I realized with a jolt that he wasn't wearing his shoes. I whipped my head to the side to look at him but he looked as nonchalant as ever. I mean, he did have that smirk back in its place again, but that's not the point. The point was that he was gradually sliding his foot over my legs. Because hello, I was wearing shoes. So he had to find a place that wasn't covered with socks, and he knew his limits. I had a shiver pass through me, and I quickly pushed his foot aside with mine.
He is a persistent guy, and his foot was back to where it was seconds ago. Basically, at that moment, I decided not to give any reactions to his actions, thinking that he'd stop. But oh, no. He kept brushing his elbows with mine, his foot against my legs; and the point where I was about to lose it was when he leaned over my notes in the pretense of copying something. I was such a bundle of nerves by the time the bell rang that I almost collided with Panchi and then Juhi and then the door. I heard a booming laughter from behind me and obviously, I didn't have to look to know whose it was.
And I came home, and then Karan came and the whole debacle happened and I kicked him out and now I'm writing this. Please forgive me for not remembering this footsie escapade right away because I was extremely caught up with a million thoughts at once. And I wrote what had happened in the most recent past first; which was the Karan episode.
Okay, so the next question in my head is: WHY in the name of God is KD doing all this? Does he have some sort of a sadistic desire? Or does he love it when I lose control and get all flustered? Is he doing this to get back at me for some prank that I may or may not have pulled at him a few years ago? WHAT HUH? I mean, it may be none of the above judging by the look that he gave me in that classroom. NO. I'm not going into that chain of thoughts again. Because it's just not possible. And besides, I have a boyfriend; someone who can't kiss properly to save his life, but that's okay. No, it's not okay. Keshav Desai, when I see you tomorrow, I'm going to have to hit you with my bag, over your head, because you've made me feel more like basket case now.
-Kiya Gujral, the absolute nutter with mixed feelings.
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...to be continued
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
