GibberishNonsense| KiSha FF | Epilogue, Page29 - Page 7

15^th January

Oh dear. I haven't written in here for 3 days. Missed me? I know you did. I mean, where else would you find such a dramatic incidents and even more dramatic reactions to those incidents? Nowhere other than here, I guarantee you.

So, you'd really like to know what happened, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be pleased to know that I'm officially a two-timing witch with a capital B. Yes, I'm berating myself but what else can I do huh? I really wish that when I kissed KD again my system was full of alcohol. That way, I wouldn't have remembered how much I liked it.

That's right. I enjoyed kissing KD. Oh shit, this sounds SO bad on my part. I should be saying 'Ohmygod, it was a horrible experience and it was just like swallowing something disgusting and I would rather not do it again'. However, the things that I'm thinking are quite the contrary. I mean, DAMN can that guy kiss or WHAT!? I'm a 17 year old, and therefore, whatever conclusions you may be jumping to about my recent declarations aren't valid, thanks very much.

I mean, it would be perfectly acceptable if I'd have liked his kissing, but not more than my boyfriend's. However, KD can kiss wayyy better than Karan. I mean, WOAH.

And yes, I have to get rid of this journal this very minute because if by chance my mother or sister catch hold of this, then it'll be hell I'll be having a rendezvous with. I mean, there isn't a chance that my mother will even come into my room, let alone find this diary, but I really can't afford to take any chances. I mean, my life is already over, I don't even know what more they'd do that'll be worse.

And since I'm going to get rid of this thing, I better write down each and everything that I'm feeling right at this very minute. Even though it's been some time since I kissed him, I'm still on a high. No, not the high that you get when you're drunk; a different kind. When I felt his lips on mine, I felt my knees giving way. I'd have melted into a puddle of goo had he not been holding me so tightly by the waist. His arms were emanating a different sort of warmth, something that I've never felt with Karan; it was a place where I felt 'safe'. I don't know, it sounds so cheesy and everything that no one would believe me. But it's the absolute truth.

After a few seconds, it registered in my head as to what I was doing and realized that it was wrong. But, I can't explain it; it felt SO right. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I couldn't. It's like I'd forgotten everything and couldn't feel a thing except for his lips on mine and his hands around me.

I don't know why I felt like that, I shouldn't have! I mean, I have a boyfriend for God's Sake! Okay fine, maybe it's because KD's so experienced with women and everything. Or maybe...? NO. I'm not even going to think it.

I don't know for how long we were in the same position in that abandoned classroom. All I know is that during that time, I didn't feel like I was a two 'timing witch with a B. I felt cherished. And that's something that I'd never thought would happen.

I haven't felt that way in a long time. Actually, to be completely honest, I've never felt like that before. When Karan and I are kissing, it feels awkward. But when KD kissed me? It felt natural.

When Karan kisses me, I feel all gross afterwards. The way he gropes me and rushes into things is really not something that I like. I mean, even though we've been in a relationship for a year, I haven't felt anything like I did when I kissed KD. I mean, it's not like I have a lot of complaints with my relationship with Karan. It's just the physical part. However, it's not like that's the most important part of any relationship. Now, I don't even think I'd be able to kiss Karan without having KD's face flash in front of my eyes.

We finally stopped kissing when the bell rang; which means we kissed for over 20 minutes. I don't even know what'd happened to my brain. It became all mushy and I was extremely breathless by the time we finished. It felt like my first kiss.

I couldn't stand KD looking at me the way he was at that very moment. It was almost as if he was looking at me with'love. No. I'm not analyzing this. Otherwise, I don't know what I'd end up feeling. I have a boyfriend, and I did this for our relationship and that's it. Although, I don't even know what's there to salvage. I did NOT just think that. Dammit.

I quickly murmured something about having stood by my end of the deal, and now he had to as well; and then I fled. And I rushed into the girls' toilet once more. And I'm writing this right now.

Damn you Keshav Desai! Why must you make me even more confused about my feelings than I already was!? Why must you make me analyse everything when I don't want to!?

-Kiya Gujral, the girl who feels cherished and confused.

---------------------------------

...to be continued.

HOW IS IT!?😳

-Raina