The Shit She Deals With
His mouth tasted weird when he woke up. He was lying on a soft white bed covered in a white duvet. He was not in his wedding clothes; in fact he was not in any cloth. Panic rose in his very naked stomach. He took in the room. It looked grand enough with all the regal dcor. White and royal blue curtains draped the windows. A royal blue couch stood by the side of the bed. A grand dresser stood across the bed. A woman sat at the dresser. The bath- Wait WHAT! A woman sat at the dresser. He screamed and she turned around.
"Bihan...yyyou are awake. I thought you never will -" She walked up to him.
"Thapki, Thapki- wait THAPKI??" She sighed at her husband's reaction. He lay on the bed gawking at her, jaws clearly on the floor. Of course she wanted the reaction. It was precisely what she had in mind when she dressed up in that black strapless lingerie which reached her thighs. She got in to the bed carefully avoiding any contact with his duvet. Thapki smiled as Bihan stole a nervous glance at the duvet which covered his lower part.
"Thapki..." He cursed his voice. It was so hoarse. What was this woman trying to do with him? He screamed in his head. Let me give you a clue, his brain answered, it has three words starts with "s" and ends in "x" with an "e" in the middle. Bihan closed his eyes as he understood the meaning. Thapki teasingly ran her fingers down his chest to his stomach uncovering the duvet. Bihan breathed heavily. Thapki caressed his stomach as slowly as possible. God this woman was killing him. He yanked her by the waist and crashed his mouth on hers. Divine. GOD WHY HADNT HE DONE THIS BEFORE ??? WHY?? Her hands roamed his chest and his hands were on every inch of her. They made out like hormone struck teenagers (possibly all of their teenage hormones must be at work for the first time in life) They broke off out of breath.
"BBihan..." Thapki sighed his name.
"Yes babe..." He said in between heavy breaths.
"Should have made yyyou brush before the kiss...You taste like drug ...lllike literally." Bihan looked at her strangely and burst out laughing. Thapki smiled and began kissing his neck.
"Honey- where -are -we?" He breathed out in between the kisses.
"Manali darling! Such a beautiful place." She replied hovering her face over his. Bihan grinned at her and ran his fingers over her back reaching for the zip.
"Why did you kidnap me though? Bauji was planning on sending us to Bali anyway." He breathed out as he unzipped the excuse of a clothing.
"It wouldn't have happened with all the drama that was gggoing to unfold." She answered quietly. He laid her down on the bed and kissed her shoulders. " What drama babe?"
"Dhruv sir is in jail." Bihan looked up his mouth hung open.
"WHAT? How?"
"I got him arrested for trying to kill you and Shradha." Thapki whispered looking at his eyes." He was arrested on our wedding day. He had been blackmailing me for some time now. But don't worry I fixed it. By now Shradha must have explained everything to the family as well." Before Bihan could process the information her lips crashed on to his and everything melted away. She straddled his form. The lingerie hung loosely on her robbing him off the chance to see her. Oh how he wished - Wait! What was he doing? His brother was in jail for attempting to murder him. He broke off the kiss and sat up, her figure still wrapped around him.
"Thapki ...What the hell are you talking about?" Thapki looked up at him wearily.
"Do we have to do this nnnow?" Thapki asked in a miffed voice. Well no, Bihan wanted to say as he saw her lingerie slip but his bro was in jail so he figured he had to ask the reason. He tried to pull up the incredulous expression on his face convincingly.
"Okay fine. But promise me that you are nnot gonna interrupt till I finish tttalking." Bihan nodded. Thapki took a deep breath and began. " So you know how Dddhruv sir and I were supposedly in love?" Bihan opened his mouth but Thapki shushed him. "Babe please llet me finish. It turned out that I never loved hhhim at all. I love you and you know that." Bihan smiled at that. "Bbbut Dhruv sssir...well he was still in for the lack of an exact word "love." Bihan's face changed and Thapki laid her head on his chest. "And he wwwanted me back love, he had been trying tto get me back in his wife. At first I never knew but then..." She narrated everything from the Roka day, how it was Dhruv all along, how he tried to humiliate him and how he blackmailed her. "And ttthen on our wedding, he tried to poison you and Shradha heard everything. But hhe caught her and tried to kill her not before confessing his crimes. Bbbut Shradha had messaged me before she was caught so I rrrecorded everything and called the police. Dhruv sir was caught before he could harm Shradha and I had solid evidence." She finished in a rush feeling Bihan's pulse rising.
They sat still for a few minutes then Bihan quietly detangled from Thapki. "That bas***d! I thought of him as my own brother but that no good bas***d." His voice rose steadily so did Thapki's heart beat. He looked at her, his eyes clouding with anger. "And you! How could you Thapki?? I though nothing can come between us. Why didn't you tell me? Why?" He was hurt. His love was in danger and he didn't know. How stupid was he not to notice the obvious. His anger knew no bounds. " I don't want to do anything with you" He spat. That did it for thapki. She stood up from the bed and zipped her dress in anger. Bihan's expression shifted from one of anger to alarm in a matter of seconds as he took in her face.
"Thapki..." He began.
"Oh shut up! I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything to do with you. I had enough. I knew you were gonna say those soapy dialogues. What is this, a daily soap?? I admit it was dangerous trying to take on Dhruv by myself. But I am not stupid all right! I knew what I was doing. I had been in contact with the police from the day I got to know off your psycho brother's psycho acts. Actually I wanted to tell you everything but not my fault that you screwed up and got yourself taped doing stupid things. But after that I had to make a clear cut working plan to get rid of the perv myself. You know how hard that was?? And what would you have done if I told you anyway? You wouldn't want to tell this to your family yourself and we would have sat down making plans to bring him down. What a joke would that be? Honestly let's just admit that we suck at busting people. 3 year olds can make better plans than us. Besides less no. of people less drama. As much as I love your family, you guys have an uncanny knack at dramatizing stuff. I am sick of it! Sick of the drama. And I was done being Mahaan! That's why I never told anyone of Dhruv's arrest till our wedding. Seriously after all I have been through I deserved a happy wedding and a honeymoon." Thapki took a deep breath and began wailing. Bihan looked at her in absolute stupor.
"I thought you would understand! But you are a horrible husband. You don't understand anything. You don't understand how much I have been waiting for this stupid family drama wedding to end. You don't understand how annoying your stupid brother was when all I wanted was for the wedding to end so that I don't have to stay away from you. You think I send him to jail because he was trying to kill you? Arrey he is such a stupid guy who doesn't even know the abc of an evil plan. He can only make flop plans. He was a mere inconvenience. I sent him to jail so that he would stop annoying me and I can hatch plans to seduce you. You don't understand the frustration of sleeping with you without touching you. You don't understand how much I hoped you would take a hint and at least think of first base. I am your wife goddamnit. And seriously I was beginning to doubt your sexuality. Ha ha look at me I am married and in love but still a virgin. You know how frustrating that is?? The things a girl have to do to get laid! Do you know how cumbersome this kidnapping business was? Aaarh" Thapki broke off and tied her hair in a bun.
"You know what ...the hell with you! You are too much of a soap guy." Thapki turned away from him.
Welcome to the land of "it's your fault" aka married life Bihan Pandey a voice in the back of his head said with a smirk. Bihan sighed and got up from the bed stark naked. With a swift movement he removed the dress off Thapki.
"Guess I should prove my sexuality to you."
Anupamaa
