Posted:
So I had written this piece only about a week after the first confession aired but I didn't know when to post it. Current track on-air seems appropriate for me to finally share this piece. Not proof-read.
One Shot: Why Me?
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Also this is dedicated to Teddyyy who was not pleased to know that I had One-Shots stored on my laptop and not posted. Teddyyy bear, this one is for you!
Kunj entered into his house silently, his head lost in thoughts of their own as he slowly took steps towards their room. The pictures that were earlier in his hand were crumpled into a ball inside his fist. He felt the clicking of her heels behind her as she rushed behind him.
"Kunj. Kunj!"
"Kunj please ruko na!"
"Kunj!!" she called behind him as they entered into the corridor that led to their room. His steps picked up the pace as he entered inside and walked toward the door that led towards the balcony.
She entered behind him to see his back turned towards her and his shoulders tensed. The photos were thrown carelessly on the floor by his feet. She closed the doors shut behind her before walking up him.
"Kunj." she called out again. Her head reached to touch his back but before it could land on his shoulder he curtly told her to not touch him.
"Chona nahi mujhe."
He turned around to face her, his eyes were bloodshot red and reflected certain kind of weariness that Twinkle had never witnessed ever before.
"Kyun? Jab tu AAJ BHI uss ke leye mehsoos karti hai, tou KYUN mujhe apne taraf barhne diya?" he gritted. His hands gripped her shoulder in anger at her silence.
"BOL TWINKLE! BOL!"
"Chup kyun hai tu? BOL Ke mujhe galat fehmi hai. Bol ke main galat soch raha hoon!" he screamed, his face inching closer to her with every word.
She looked at him flabbergasted and shocked. She had realized that he was hurt. Maybe keeping old photographs of him with her in the box of her reassured memories wasn't a good idea but she had genuinely forgotten that she still had pictures of Yuvraj with her.
"Kunj." she let out a whisper of his name unable to digest his anger.
"Aage Bol Twinkle!" he backed away from her, his whole body trembled as he pulled his hand up to cover his face.
"AAGE BOL TWINKLE!!"
"Kunj. Mein TUM se pyaar karti hoon."
"Tou phir yeh kiya hai?" he asked looking at her. Her face appeared pale as she looked at the crumpled photos scattered around.
"Tere pas har uss waqat jawab kyun nahi hota Twinkle jab hona chaiye?" He looked at her, his eyes not being able to hold onto hers for any longer with the weariness drowning them.
"Mein guest room mein jaa raha hoon." he spoke walking out of the room, leaving her stranded in middle.
She turned around to see his walking out, and let herself fall to the ground. The pictures of her and Yuvraj from their adolescence to the last days of them together were covering half of the floor. She wiped off her tears and picked all the pictures one by one and dropped them into the trash can before walking out into the balcony and sitting on the hammock, letting her head drop to the side of it as the wind rocked it back and forth.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to think at all and let the air fill her insides. Her heavy lids heavy from the crying, fell into a dreamless slumber.
It was nearing sunrise when Kunj entered back into their room to find the bed empty. He looked around however couldn't spot her in the room. Her dupatta flew in from the balcony, landing at his feet which prompted him to walk into the balcony to find her wrapped inside the hammock seat.
Her face was tainted with streaks of tears and her kohl lined eyes appeared messy and puffy. He felt cold water thrown over him after looking at her state. Conflicting feelings of trust and doubts filed his mind however brushing them aside once again instead of dealing with them, he moved forward to pick her out of the seat and placed her on the bed.
She had subconsciously tried to cuddle herself into the crook of his arm however the drowsiness broke away as she felt his arms leave her side. Her eyes felt heavy to lift and call him out to stop but her hands were quick to hold on to his wrist just as he had turned.
He looked at her, weary, tired and confused. She took a deep breath before using his arms to pull herself up and pull him towards her onto the bed.
"Tumhe pata hai ke mein tumse pyar kab karne lagi thi?"
He looked away from her before meeting her eyes and nodding a no.
"Shaadi ke pehle hafte ke baad, jab tum ne meri karva chauth ki sari rasamein ki thi. Mujhe pata tou nahi chala tha ke mein tumhari sari cheezon se itna affect kyun hoti hoon, par uss din se mujhe itna pata tha, ke maa ko prove karne ke saath saath, mere liye bhi yeh shaadi bohot important hai."
"Hamare honeymoon ke baad jab tum wapas Goa gaye the, Yuvi ke doctor se baat karne, tab tum se zaida mein ne kisi ko miss nahi kiya tha. Mujhe bar bar apne app ko yaad delana parta tha ke mein tumein pasand nahi kar sakti. Ke main tumhare liye itna protective nahi feel kar sakti. Tum mere dost the aur pher hamare beech mein sab kuch aik dum se bikhar gaya tha aur unn sab cheezon ke bawajood, pata nahi mujhe sab se pehle hamesha tumhara ehsaas hota tha. Aur hota HAI Kunj!"
"Mein ne apne kadam tumhare taraf iss leye nahi barhne deye the ke aik dam se pechein hat jaoin. Iss leye barhne deye the kyun ke mujhe iss baat par pura bhorasa tha ke aagr tum mujhe se pyaar nahi karo ge, tab bhi tum mera saath nahi choro ge!"
"Tum ne kaise soch leya ke mein aaj bhi uss Yuvi ke khiyalat ko apne dimag se nahi nikaal pai? Kunj mere leye woh insaan matter he nahi karta. Uss ne jo kiya so kiya, kyu kiya, kaise kiya, mujhe nahi farak padta. Mujhe tum se farak padta hai."
He looked at her, the sincerity in her eyes reflecting and the weariness of constantly proving herself covering her face.
"Sorry." he whispered
"Tumhe hamare pyaar par itna sa bhi bharosa nahi hai Kunj? Itna kamzor hair tumhara pyaar mere liye ke tumhe kuch tasveroon ne itna doubtful kar diya?"
"Twinkle.. mein." he felt her breathing hitch and her voice breaking in middle as she continued to search for answers in his eyes.
"Twinkle. Mein nah bardasht kar pata. I know mujhe sab pehle se pata tha par Twinkle, tum us se toot kar pyar karti thi aur mein tere pyaar ka witness tha. Aaj bhi mujhe dar lagta hai ke agar woh thora sa bhi badal jai tou tum usse choose kar lo gi."
She let aout a weak chuckle hearing his words. "Pagal! Agar mujhe tumhe chorna hota na, tou mein tumhe bohot pehle hi chor de ti. Jitna pyaar mein Yuvi se kiya tha na, uss ke double se bhi zaida pyaar mein tum se karti hoon. Agar tum yeh yaad rakh sakte ho ke mein ne uss se kaise ankhe band kar ke pyaar kiya, tou yeh bhi tou maat bhulo ke ankein khool kar tum se waise he pyaar kar leya."
"Agar tum aaj inte se baat pe shak kar rahe ho Kunj, tou ham zindi bhar kiya aise he chezoon ki vazahatein karte rahein ge aik dosere ke leye?"
He didn't have answers for her and the look on his face was still disappointing for her. She heaved in a breath and got up to pull her clothes put and walked towards the bathroom.
He followed her move silently across the room before throwing his face into his palms. His eyes fell onto the trash can placed by the mirror and the crumpled photos thrown into it. How was it that a person she loved without caring about anyone didn't matter to her anymore. How was it that she believed so much in their love that she didn't need any prove.
Tired from the erupting questions in his mind, he brushed away and the thoughts and walked out the room again. Twinkle stepped out of the bathroom, her hair dripping from water, when she witnessed him stand up tensely and walk away.
"Yeh aakhir baat kyun nahi kar sakta!" she grumbled irritated at the events that had taken place. Happiness never lasted long between them.
Harry Potter
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Shiv Shakti
