Her heart stopped. She knows it's not realistically possible considering if it had truly stopped she would have been declared dead. But she knows. Seeing her husband lying on the hospital bed, unconscious; his bloodied and ripped clothes being torn from his body and sealed into a plastic bag; a wall separating her from being by his side but doing nothing to lessen her knowledge of the fact that he was being cut open to have the various pieces of glass and metal be removed from his flesh. She knew her heart had stopped.As she sat in one of the dark blue plastic chairs, Twinkle remained in a numbed state. She could vaguely recall her mother-in-law hysterically, with her husband following close behind. Of course he wasn't hysterical as her, but the deep concern was clearly evident on his face. Kunj's elder brother, Anand had come along with them. He had taken up the duty of taking care of his hysterical mother while his father consulted with the doctors. When Twinkle had arrived, her mother-in-law had attacked her, demanding to know where she had been all this time. Whether or not she was with Kunj. Of course Twinkle had ignored her, pushed her aside and chose to run straight for the ICU where Kunj was located. The nurses had kicked her out stating what the hospital policies were. But none of those words registered themselves into her brain. Rather, it had chosen to fixate itself onto the horrific image of Kunj's body being cut open, his skin creating multiple gashes where metal instruments were being prodded into.
She didn't remember much after that. What she could remember was staring at a blank wall, her mind shutting everything out. Not even her mother's voice could capture her attention for long.
Crimson blood and pink muscles.
"I'm sorry, but your son has slipped into a coma..."
This is all your fault.
Silence.
-------It was two months later when Kunj would finally open his eyes. Considering the last thought on his mind was about his wife, it was no surprise that when he woke up, he called for her first. But to his surprise he didn't see Twinkle. He saw Alisha instead, woken up from her slumber by his voice. She had reached out to him, told him to relax, stay calm and rang for the nurse. Shortly after his mother had come running, hysterical. Tears dripping out of her eyes profusely while she thanked her God for keeping her son alive.
Kunj was of course grateful to see his mother. Any son would. But the tears and the high-pitched voice was grating on his ears now. Thankfully the doctor had arrived and had ushered Usha outside and requested her to wait until they were ready for her. While the doctors were checking his vitals, Kunj asked about Twinkle. He saw the brief hesitant look the doctor had exchanged with the nurse. Kunj became even more worried when rather than answering his question, the doctor attempted to divert his attention.
If Twinkle wasn't here right now, all they had to do was say so. There was no need for them to react the way they did.
Kunj scrunched his eyebrows as he thought about why Alisha was seated inside the room.
Well, it wasn't that strange considering they have been working together quite closely as of late, but why have her be seated inside the room while his mother remained outside? Did his mom just arrive? Did she go for a coffee break? A breath of fresh air?
And where the heck is Twinkle!
"Can you please call for my wife?" Kunj asked, his mouth feeling extremely dry.
The doctor indicated at his nurse and silently ordered her to go and fetch a family member. Thankfully, this time around it was his father who arrived rather than his mother. At least now he would be able to get some coherent answers.
After the pleasantries were over with, Kunj had repeated his question, "Dad, where's Twinkle?"
His dad had taken a sigh before responding.
"Look son, I don't know how to say this the easy way... but she's not here."
Kunj sat up straighter in his hospital bed, his body instinctively getting ready to run after his wife.
"So she must be home right? Why don't you call her so that I can at least hear her voice." Kunj supplied, trying to remain hopeful.
"No Kunj. She's not here." Manohar repeated. "She left." Kunj scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.
"What?" Kunj asked, his voice breaking.
"Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea okay." Manohar said, resting his hand against his son's shoulder. "And it's best if you hear this from me before you talk about this with your mother. Knowing her, she'll undoubtedly paint Twinkle as a witch." Manohar spat the last word. Shaking his head, he tried again. "You had been in the ICU, you were being operated to remove any debris that had gotten into your body. That's when it had first happened. Twinkle's mind sort of..." Manohar gestured towards his head, "broke. She just kept staring at this wall. She wouldn't speak to anyone, wouldn't eat or drink. Frankly speaking, I doubted if she blinked. We got her checked out and the doctors said that she was in shock. They had advised us to keep her under observation for a while, and we did. I had just come back from filling out the formalities, when she was just... gone. She didn't tell anyone where she went or left behind any sort of note. Your mother and I had stayed back here at the hospital until you were stabilized. Then we went home, spoke to your sister-in-law. Told her about everything that happened. She told us that Twinkle had come home, but she wasn't looking right. She was like in a daze, under a spell or something. Her eyes were glazed over, her walk was mechanic. And Nikki said that she kept muttering something under her breath. Something like, 'it's all my fault'. She saw her go into her room but didn't see or hear anything from her after that." Manohar sat up straight and took a deep breath. "Of course when I went to go check up on her, she wasn't there. She was really gone."
Kunj's shoulders slumped, exhaustion invading him; the will to be strong completely removed from his body.
"Your mother freaked out. Said a lot of mean things to Leelaji." Manohar pursed his lips, the past two months of stress creeping up on him again. "I tried to mend things, but it was no use. She's furious. But of course that didn't stop her from seeing her son." Manohar spoke trying to light up the bleak situation.
Kunj smiled, knowing that no matter what occurs, Leela's love for him is unconditional. However, as soon as Twinkle came into mind, the faint smile went away.
"Kunj, right now you need to focus on getting better. Once you're healthy, we can start looking for her." His father advised.
Kunj nodded his head lightly, sleep beginning to overcome his senses. It made no sense for Kunj to jump out of bed at less than half strength and begin looking for his wife when he has absolutely no leads to go on. He knows that his father wouldn't have given up trying to find her. Yes, Manohar had at first approached Twinkle due to the luck that she had provided him. But over time he had begun to accept her as his own daughter, a bubbly and carefree personality that brought about immense happiness wherever she went. He had become increasingly protective of her and had genuinely wanted Kunj and Twinkle's marriage to prosper. When Kunj had first started to go to work, his father had been so proud of him. There is no way that he would revert back to his old self when things were going so well between them all.
Well... things were going great between everyone except Twinkle and Kunj themselves. The distance that had been between has only increased ten folds and Kunj has found himself in a deep dilemma. If Twinkle blames herself for putting Kunj in a life and death situation, then where does he even begin to alleviate her from the guilt? It isn't her fault that the accident had occurred. His mind had been diverted, sleep and stress had plagued his senses. The actions that he took, the distractions that captured his attention, they were all his. But Kunj doubted he could make Twinkle see that.
Manohar wished him goodbye shortly after, saying he will return later on. After the stipulated twenty-four mandated observation, Kunj will be allowed to go home. Till then he should try to get some rest and not focus too much on Twinkle's whereabouts.
Of course his father leaves him behind with an impossible task. It's impossible for Kunj to not think about Twinkle. How can it be possible when his last dying thought was to see her smile.
-------It had been one week since Kunj had arrived from the hospital. The two month sleep from the coma had left Kunj feeling incredibly exhausted. His legs were still getting used to being active all the time while at times his arms would feel sore. But he did his utmost best to not give into the fatigue and focus all his attention into finding Twinkle. His mother did her best in trying to deter his spirit. Constantly bad mouthing Twinkle and saying how she is a coward, a selfish woman, a gold-digger. Kunj had rebuked his mother and forbade her from ever speaking bad about his wife ever again. In the heat of it, he had even threatened to leave the house permanently if her negative attitude stayed the same.
As of now Kunj was sitting in his yellow chair, just ending the call with his cell phone provider. Since he and Twinkle were bound in a joint contract, Kunj thought of going to the provider to get Twinkle's cell phone records. He looked up as the fax machine whirred, signalling the arrival of the papers. Getting up and proceeding towards the machine, Kunj's heart quickened as he hoped to gain a lead that will help him reach Twinkle.
Flipping through the pages, Kunj went to the last one. There were several calls made a few months ago, shortly after his accident had occurred. There was one to a travel agency, and one to their bank manager. Following those days, a few calls were made sporadically during the two month period from a region located elsewhere of Amritsar. Kunj pulled up his phone, opened up the browser and looked up the area code from where the calls were being made to. He found it belonging to Mussoorie, an area completely opposite of what Twinkle has been raised in.
Kunj approached his cupboard from which he began to pull out his clothes and stuffing them haphazardly into a blue handbag. If Twinkle was there, she would undoubtedly be trying to start life anew. Away from the heat, away from her family, relatives, and friends. Kunj paused as he thought about how she must be working now to provide for herself. The bank manager had said that there had been no withdrawals made from their joint bank account apart from two months ago. After that, no activity whatsoever. Shaking his head, Kunj strapped his handbag over his shoulder and left his home.
-------Twinkle wrapped the shawl around her body as the fog began to enclose around her. Her teeth lightly chattered against the chill. She had thought of berating herself for picking a hill station to begin her life anew but she stopped herself. This was her punishment and she must see that it is fulfilled. She cannot let herself go so easily when it is because of her that Kunj was hospitalized. If she had just been rational and given their relationship a chance by talking it out rather than being swept away by her emotions, she might have been with him right now. Or she could be titled as Kunj's ex-wife. But either way, his safe health would have been assured.
Twinkle climbed up the slippery brick steps that led to the hotel she was staying at for the time being. She had created enough money to pay for the month's rent but she had to start looking for accommodations of her own. She had talked to her manager and he had informed her there was a vacant spot at a boarding school nearby. She could continue her managerial work as well as live on campus. Fresh, warm food, safe housing, a community of friendly people - the only thing keeping Twinkle from jumping at the opportunity was her moral conflict of whether or not she deserved this. If she wished to punish herself, she surely can't live in pleasure.
Twinkle smiled at the receptionist and proceeded towards her room. Opening the door, and turning on the lights, Twinkle was stopped in her tracks. The key fell from her hands and landed on the red worn-out carpet.
It was the second time she had felt her heart stop.
-------Kunj stood up from the wooden chair, and gulped.
"Twinkle," Kunj whispered, his words failing to keep up with the beats of his heart.
To his dismay, Twinkle began to take steps back, shaking her head, her face gone pale.
"Twinkle!" Kunj called out when Twinkle ran, her face expressing complete hysteria.
He ran after her, never once losing her out of sight.
"Twinkle, careful!" He cautioned when he saw her slip on the last two rainy steps.
Kunj took his own precautions while coming down the steps as well but made sure to quicken his speed once he got on even ground.
"Twinkle!" He reached out and caught up to her in two grand strides.
Gently touching her elbow, Kunj brought himself before her, panting, unable to quiet believe that his wife was standing before him.
"Twinkle," He breathed out and paused for a few moments before he captured her into a tight hug.
His arms were clasped around her, feeling her heart beat in rhythm with his. The rain which had been falling in a light shower soon turned into a heavy fall, drenching them to the bone fairly quick. But Kunj didn't make notice of that. All he felt was Twinkle in his arms, her breath hitting against his chest and her lips beginning to quiver from the cold.
"It's not your fault." Kunj whispered into the top of her head.
He felt Twinkle's shoulders slump, her body minutely giving in to the harsh circumstances that had been laid before them. He felt Twinkle take in a deep sigh before she broke out into a full sob, her arms wrapping themselves around his body possessively. Her fingers clenched onto the back of his jacket, her nails digging through the multiple layers.
"I-It is," Twinkle stammered through the piercing cold. "All of it, it's all my fault."
"No." Kunj asserted. "None of it is." Briefly separating from her, Kunj looked down at her, wiping her tears with the tips of his thumb. "Let's go inside and talk this out. Hmm?"
Twinkle nodded, but deep in her heart, she was feeling sick.
--------Twenty minutes had passed since Twinkle and Kunj had relocated themselves to Twinkle's temporary residence. They both had changed into something much more comfortable and were being warmed by the clanking heater. However the mechanical device didn't do too much to actually warm them up considering it will stop working every few minutes. But the loud clanking did help to ease out the awkward silence that had resulted from largely from Twinkle's side.
Kunj had attempted to start a conversation once they had changed. It was small talk really. Asking about how she was doing, how long she had been here, whether she was being treated well. Twinkle had merely answered in monosyllables or really short phrases, never divulging too much information or allowing for further discussions to take place. Twinkle had found herself in a very weird predicament.
Of course she was happy that her husband was alive. He had a few cuts here and there and he walked a little funny, but for the most part he was whole and healthy. He was breathing and sitting before her right now in the wooden chair while she was seated on the bed cross-legged. She wanted to hear his voice, to hold him, to kiss him just once more. But every time her mind wandered towards such thoughts she was reprimanded. She had no right to think of him in such a manner when she had wished to leave him. No, when she did leave him. She left him both times when he didn't possess the ability to stop her. To question her, to explain to her. She simply left.
But yet he's still here.
"What are you thinking about?" Kunj asked, noticing her eyes glaze as she drifted into her thoughts.
"You're here." Twinkle answered, still lost.
"Where else would I be?" Kunj asked, slightly amused.
"Home. Where you'll be safe."
"Safe from what?"
"Me."
Kunj tilted his head, "When have you ever harmed me?"
"Two months ago. When you got into that car crash." Twinkle spoke mechanically.
"Were you there with me?" Kunj asked, a slight irritation creeping into his voice.
"No."
"Did you cause the accident to happen?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"By leaving the divorce papers behind." Twinkle spoke softly.
"Papers don't cause car crashes."
"They can if your mind gets distracted. If it gets diverted..." Twinkle broke off.
"If my mind gets distracted, that fault then lies within my body. My inability to retain my cognitive functions. Not yours."
"But if I laid out the events that will make you unable to-"
"Twinkle, stop," Kunj asserted, seating himself upon the bed as well. "None of this is your fault okay." He held her face and forced her to look into his eyes. "None of this is your fault Twinkle. The accident, my coma, none of it."
"But I left you," Twinkle said around the tears that were beginning to spill out of her eyes.
"Why?" Kunj whispered, wiping her tears.
"You wanted to leave me." Twinkle's voice broke.
Kunj scrunched his eyebrows. "Me?" Shaking his head, "Twinkle, I will never leave you. I can't even think of doing such a thing." His eyes searched through hers frantically as if they would magically reveal what sprouted this whole business.
"I found the file," She gulped, "for the divorce papers in one of the drawers. It had our names on it." Her voice cracked.
Kunj became really confused.
"And so I thought..." She sobbed, her body trembling. "I mean, we weren't even close at the time, we lived as strangers more than anything and.." Twinkle broke off again, her head falling to lean against Kunj's chest.
"Twinkle trust me, I have no idea as to how the papers got there. I... I would never," Kunj shook his head, his arms hugging her tight. "Where exactly did you find the file?"
"It was in the bottom drawer, with all our marriage belongings. It was stuffed in there," Twinkle answered. "Kunj, I know things had gotten bad, but I never thought they had reached the point where.."
"Hey," Kunj made her face him once more, "yeah things have gotten rough, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to give you up Twinkle. And neither does it mean that I'm going to give up on you. When I took those vows with you, I did so holding your hand and meaning every single word of it. There is no way I'm going to back out now."
"And Alisha," Twinkle questioned.
"Alisha," Kunj squirmed, "She's nothing but a co-worker. She has a lot of experience in the field I'm in right now and has been giving me a lot of advice on how to do it well. That night she called it was because of a work related emergency. Other than that there is nothing between us Twinkle." Kunj repeated, unsure of how Twinkle had managed to get that silly idea in her head. "Believe me Twinkle, if there is anyone in my life, if there is anyone that I have wanted to do anything for, then it's you." He wiped her tears and from the look in her eyes, saw that she had begun to release her guilt. "You're the only one who has ever made me want to strive. You give me motivation and the incentive to be something, to be accomplished, successful. Not to mention the only one who has ever made me feel love," He swiped his thumb over her bottom lip, "passion, thirst," His eyes drifted slowly down to her slightly parted lips, "hunger,"
He leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and chaste at first, but as their lips molded against each others, the heat and intensity of their craving heightened drastically. Moans, and gasps got sprinkled throughout their kissing, while their hands roamed over each other. Twinkle fumbled with the zipper of his hoodie while he slipped his hands underneath her kameez. Twinkle moaned as his warm hands explored the expanse of her belly and traveled upwards towards her breasts. They both fell back with onto the damp bed with a thud and an oomph eliciting from Kunj's mouth. They had just parted their lips for air, when Kunj took in their surroundings. As much as he wanted to, there is no way that he could consummate his love for Twinkle in this manner. On a bed that has been rented out to multiple people in the past, on bed sheets that has been dirtied with bodily fluids of strangers. No, if they were to consummate then it will be an intimate affair where everything belongs to them and only them. The bed, the sheets, the covers, the very air will sing their name.
Kunj kissed her lightly once more and got off of her. Twinkle blinked a few times, confused.
"We should go home." Kunj informed, getting out of bed and picking up his handbag.
Twinkle silently followed.
-------Two weeks had passed since Twinkle had arrived home. Manohar and Ishaan were absolutely thrilled to see her again. Her mother had scolded her for leaving without informing anyone, but her intense love for her daughter overpowered her anger. Anand was simply glad to see her safe and well, while Nikki on the other hand expressed her love by cribbing on how much weight Twinkle had lost. She had personally taken it on herself to take care of Twinkle's diet and bring her natural glow back to life. Usha on the other hand didn't spare a chance to complain about Twinkle's return. Bringing up her departure, questioning her loyalty had become a sort of hobby of hers. Kunj had advised Twinkle to ignore her but the constant nagging had started to become too much.
It was a quiet night when Nikki had questioned Twinkle as to why she had left in the first place. Reluctantly, Twinkle had told her, not quiet sure as to what stage their relationship had arrived at. Nikki had given her a smile and reassured her that no in this world loves Twinkle as much as Kunj does. She had also told Twinkle to let go of any doubts that she has in regards to Kunj and his loyalty. Twinkle had given her a small smile and had agreed but Nikki could tell from Twinkle's eyes that she hadn't given up the topic just yet. After all there was still the whole question of where the divorce papers had come from in the first place.
That very same night Nikki had approached Kunj and had told her about Twinkle's apprehension. Kunj had admitted that although they had talked things over and had tried to mend their broken relation, it was not going too great. There was always something that was holding Twinkle back. He knew that she was trying, but that seed of a doubt had blossomed strongly within her mind. Kunj's words are hollow since he can't provide a viable explanation of why the divorce papers were found within their belongings. Nikki had advised Kunj to not give up and just keep trying and had left it at that.
It was the next day when Nikki had approached Kunj once again. She had informed him that she had poked around here and there and had managed to find out the origins of the papers. It turned out that Nikki had been given the responsibility of gathering all of Twinkle and Kunj's wedding gifts and clothes and to leave them in their room. There were a lot of gifts that had been distributed that needed to be assorted and rather than leaving it all with them, Nikki had put away the items that could be used later in a storage room. All other belongings, like wedding albums, the bridal dress and the groom's outfit, the jewelry etc. had all been given to them. Then there were some last minute items that had been provided by Usha and Nikki had simply handed them over without sifting through them as last time. When Nikki had approached Usha and confronted her about it, Usha had admitted to slipping the red file in with the belongings. She had expected either Twinkle or Kunj to see it while they put away the belongings but it didn't happen. Instead months had passed by with no progress whatsoever. Usha had tried to worsen the relationship by psychologically damaging Twinkle and it had worked to some extent. No matter how hard she tried, the constant negative energy around her prevented Twinkle from being wholly happy.
When Kunj had asked about why Usha would do something as outrageous as breaking their marriage, Nikki had said, "She didn't know how much you felt for her. We all know what the circumstances were like when you had married Twinkle. No one had expected you to bond or grow as close as you did.." She had trailed off and had rested a hand on Kunj's shoulders when he had slumped down onto the bed.
Nikki had left it entirely up to him on how he had wished to proceed with the information. But it was evident that his relationship with his mother here on out wouldn't be the same. The close bonding that he had with Usha, the one woman who was supposed to give him unconditional love, who was supposed to wish well of him in all his actions, had dissolved any sympathetic and warm feelings that he might have had towards her. Her selfishness and her cold behavior towards his wife was unacceptable to him.
It was last night when Kunj had mustered up the courage to sit Twinkle down and tell her the truth about the divorce papers. She had been shocked and just like Kunj had initially refused to believe that Usha would do such a thing. But then Kunj had informed her about his meeting with their family lawyer. To allow Twinkle to have definitive proof, he had called up the lawyer and had him speak directly with Twinkle. The lawyer had reaffirmed Kunj's statements. Usha had the divorce papers made long before Twinkle and Kunj had even gotten married. She had always been against the marriage and had attempted to stop it from before by trying to malign Twinkle's character using Yuvi. It hadn't worked of course. Yuvi had been removed from Twinkle's life permanently by Kunj and to Usha's dismay, Kunj had vowed to be by Twinkle's side for the rest of his life. Of course his mother had expressed her deep disgust with the marriage by trying to psychologically damage Twinkle with her bizarre traditions and rituals. But every time she tried something, Kunj had intervened and had successfully prevented from having Twinkle carry out any humiliating task.
They had sat in silence for a while, hand in hand, wondering about how to move on forward. Twinkle had wanted to leave right away, but didn't mention her wish to Kunj. Usha was his mother after all and Twinkle couldn't simply expect Kunj to leave her at a moment's notice. Kunj too had landed himself in a predicament of how to handle the situation. He loved his mother dearly, but the way that she had behaved and has been behaving constantly with Twinkle, he couldn't handle it. He had warned her to lay off of Twinkle when she had gone missing, but she still hadn't listened. Kunj had shifted his hand to wrap them around Twinkle as he had made up his mind as to what he had to do.
-------Twinkle hugged Ishaan goodbye while sneaking a chocolate bar into his pocket.
"Don't tell your mom, okay?" She had told him conspiratorially.
Ishaan had shaken his head in agreement with a big grin. Laughing, Twinkle had hugged him tight once more.
"Ishu, are you ready?" Nikki had called out to her son, standing by the doorway.
"Yes, Mama!" Ishaan had answered, running towards his mother.
"Okay, Kunj we'll be leaving now. Have to get the little one to school early morning." Anand said to his younger brother, ruffling the curly hair on the head of his own son.
"Of course bhaiyya, but please don't hesitate to come. You are more than welcome to come here anytime you want." Kunj invited, spreading his left arm out for Twinkle to enter into.
"Now we'll have to, considering the secret stash of chocolate is here." Anand said cheekily, winking at Twinkle.
Twinkle opened her mouth in shock for a moment before launching into a fit of giggles.
"Papa, shhh, it's a secret!" Ishaan had whispered to his father, launching everyone in the room into a spirit of laughter.
After their last goodbyes, Twinkle locked the door. Shortly after, she let out a scream as Kunj twirled her around.
"Kunj! Let go!"
Keeping her in his arms, he cheekily said, "Nope! Come on Mrs. Sarna, I have to show you a proper tour of our new home."
"Oh really?" Twinkle indulged in his flirting. "And here I thought we were going to do something special." She lowered her eyes and picked at his top button.
"Like?"
"Like..." She dragged out the word, "something romantic, something private, something..."
"Passionate?" Kunj supplied, whispering in her ear.
Twinkle grinned and lowered her head while blushing.
"I think there's some room for that." Kunj teased, giving her a light peck on the lips.
"Some room?" Twinkle asked, feigning shock. "I want all your attention on me tonight." With her arms wrapped around his neck, she inched his head to come closer to hers. "I want to feel every minute reaction of your body against mine." She whispered, her eyes darting down towards his.
Kunj gulped, his breathing becoming heavy. He swiftly picked her up in his arms and carried her towards their new bedroom.
He smiled, staring into her eyes, as finally, they can begin to start their relationship anew. Finally they can declare and express their love for each other without any hesitations or any forces holding them back. Finally, they can mend their broken hearts.
Edited by asmaanixx - 9 years ago
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