"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. I hate love"
Neil Gaiman
Sanskar was still reeling from the aftermath of her sister's eventual engagement. He was glad his sister had refused to get married. Marriage brought unnecessary complications into your life. His life right now was a mess since he had tried to base their life on their love but she left. She left so easily without thinking about the consequences. She took everything with her his happiness, comfort and contentment. For the past 6 months he wanted to loathe her but whenever she was in close vicinity his traitorous heart would race up. The foolish organ didn't let him move on. How do you move on when the person whom you loved with all your heart and soul abandons you when you need them the most?
Sanskar always used to wonder what was it that made relationships work? It wasn't money or beauty as these things had superficial value. He used to think it was love but than he found out that even all the love in the world could stop things from breaking apart. He had loved someone unconditionally.
"Pyar kar kay bhi kia milta hain main nay bhi pyar kia thi kisi say beinthea mohabbat ki thi aur uss ka nateja dekho"
He was so undisposed and helpless. He couldn't even have a say in his sister's marriage as his marriage didn't work out. She was standing in front of him pleading him to say something but the truth was she had stripped him of words. Just like always she told him he was wrong that just because one relationship didn't work out he shouldn't ignore his other relationships. That was the point their relationship wasn't just any other relationship his entire life revolved around it. It had brought him out of darkness. Their love was his salvation and his only chance for redemption. It was the card that was holding his life together and the removal of it would topple his life like a house of cards. Their love was the cement. She was his home but when will Swara understand that?
At the other side of the town Swara and Ragini were changing clothes trying to divert their mind away from all that had happened at Uttara's engagement. It was a stressful day and Swara just wanted to have a hot steaming cup of chai to sooth her agitated nerves. She had been jittery ever since her encounter with Sanskar. Even today when they were bitterly opposed to each other he still stood up for her. No matter how distant they were he still said she was his wife not thinking about the ruckus his one statement would cause in his sister's life. Out of all of them he chose her and for a moment Swara felt that she would have chosen him too. She was immersed in these thoughts when Ragini walked in. Ragini looked different her eyes conveyed great pain and her fake smile barely concealed her anguish.
"Swara?"
"Yeah Ragini?"
"Do you love him?"
"Who Ragini?"
"You know who I am talking about do you really love him?"
"I have never stopped loving him but I guess things have changed between us"
"Things change Swara, People change , situations same but the love you have for someone still remains intact. I want you to listen to me carefully without any interruptions. Life is really short we are never sure what happens next. What if Sanskar would die in an accident what would you do? Imagine you are their performing his funeral rites and he is right in front of you. So close yet so far. It looks like he is sleeping but he actually isn't and you are pleading with God for just one moment to give you some more time to spend with him what will you do? Think about it."
"Ragini I don't know what to say. I..."
"Try Swara you always find a solution what would you say to him?"
"Ragini please let's not do this I am already too tired. Let's sleep"
"I need an answer Swara and I need it now. What will you say?" Ragini urged her to reply
"Ok fine I will tell him that I love him and that I will always love him and that he is it for me" Swara said
"Then why are you waiting for a precise moment tell him today how much you love him. Kia pata kal ho na ho"
"Ragini are you okay what happened at the hospital today"
"Nothing Swara I just learned that nothing last for ever no matter how much you try to hold on somethings will be lost forever"
"I don't understand what you are saying"
"That's life Swara it's not meant to be understood it's just meant to be lived. Go back to him tell him how much you love him before it's too late."
"What if he refuses to accept be back in his life and things between us are broken forever" She voiced her fear
"Well at least you would have tried but don't let that fear stop you from telling him how much he means to you"
"I don't know what to do"
"It's simple Swara just love him. You just need to love him the way he wants to be loved and this time if things fall apart stay with him to show that you will always be there no matter what"
"Ragini why are you so keen about Sansakr and I getting back together?"
"You left him for me and I don't want to live with this regret anymore that I am depriving you of love while waiting for mine to come back. I already had a lot of regret so please absolve me from guilt. I realized today how short life is and how we complicate it because of the minutest of things. I want to simplify my life and for that you need to fix your life. Stop wasting time dear sister. Time is such a cruel thing. Once some things are gone they are lost forever" Ragini said and left to brush her teeth.
Swara pondered over what she had said.
"Once some things are gone they are lost forever" she said. Swara realized that she could never let go of him and even if forever was a limited timespan she wanted him to be hers forever. So she grabbed her phone and dialed a number she knew by heart.
He picked up after the 5th ring.
"What do you want Swara it's 1?" He asked
"I want you" She said
"I don't have time for idle chit-chat so get to the point" He said
"Fine we need to talk" She said
"Why there is nothing between us"
"If there is nothing between us why did you call me your wife today? Why does it bother you if I spend time with Nikhil?"
"Swara please I don't have time for your interrogation sessions"
"That's the point Sansakr we don't have time are you meeting me or should I come?" She said
"No I will come it's raining outside and I don't" He stopped in the middle
"And you don't want me to drive in this weather because it's dangerous." She said
"I am coming meet me at the back door of Badi in 20 minutes" He ignored her answer
She looked outside it was indeed raining. The sky was dark and she couldn't see the moon but she didn't mind.
"The sun would rise early today" She thought as she heard the familiar sound of his car horn. She rushed to meet him as she didn't want to waste anymore time
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
