My dearest Forum friends and readers 🤗
Wishing you all and yours a very Happy Deepavali! Here is to a year ahead of bright and happy times and love and success and happiness. May you find light to guide you and the strength to dispel any darkness within.
I am aware Chapter 9 posted below is delayed. I am currently working to a punishing work schedule and also have some other personal commitments which mean life is an endless juggling exercise. The Chapter below was to be even longer. There was much else I wanted to cover but 10 pages and over 4500 words later, I thought I needed to continue the rest in Chapter 10:). Also, the point at which I end seemed to be a natural close to this chapter. I hope you will all enjoy this- I am taking the story where it needs to go so hope it comes across that way. I will work on 10 possibly even tomorrow and Monday but won't promise exactly when I will post, save to say will try to be prompt.
I am currently massively behind on reading other stories on the Forum. To those dear friends who have PM'ed me and I haven't even opened your messages- sincere apologies. I am on such a short supply of time, that I have to stay brutally strict and hence have simply tried to snatch any spare moment to work on EI. I have a holiday coming up in some weeks (thought it's abroad!) but I will catch up as soon as time allows.
In the meantime, I do hope those who read will take their precious time to feedback. As ever, I value that beyond words.
Happy Diwali again and lots of love as always xoxo
CHAPTER 9
Her throat was parched, her body hot, and muscles sore, but as soon as Swara's eyes fell on the figure slumped on the comfortable lounge chair placed by her bed, all thoughts of bodily discomfort dispersed like puffs of air on a blustery morning. Her eyes took in his thrown back head, tiredly tilted towards her, resting on the cushioned headrest. His jaw was lined with shadowed growth from the day and night past, his rumpled shirt un-tucked, with the top two buttons forming revealing the strong column of his neck and hinting at the contours of his chest. His thick hair slightly fell over his forehead but even in sleep, he seemed coiled as if to spring into action. "He is so handsome". Just as the thought stole over Swara, she felt hot again, but she knew this was less to do with the fever that had her in its grip last night, and more with the responses Sanskaar Maheshwari seemed to inspire in her all too easily. Ever since she had regained consciousness a few days ago, and despite all the confusion her world was mired in at present owing to the loss of her memories, Swara was fascinated by her rescuer. It was more than his looks, although those were certainly notable enough. There was the sheer aura surrounding the man- he exuded both raw power and a sibylline mystery, combined with something else that was indecipherable, but struck her with its potency. She knew she was attracted to him, and as much as the thought of that embarrassed her, particularly given her current state when any such thoughts were surely the last thing that should be occupying her mind, she couldn't stop her heart beating faster when he was around and her senses tingling in his presence. Yet, he was so distant with her. She knew he was not uncaring, far from it. His every action so far proclaimed how her wellbeing was important to him, and no matter how much she told herself that perhaps it was only his humanitarian instincts, the way she had seen him look at her a few times when he had been caught unawares, told her with some hidden feminine instinct that he felt more than what he liked to admit to.
"Or perhaps you are so brain addled that you are imagining all this, because you want it to be that way. You are building up a fascination with him that suits a giddy teenager and maybe he is simply a nice man to whom you are an unwanted bother."
The part of her brain that housed her memories was stymied, but that which dealt logical reasoning was very much intact, thought Swara as these fears spoke to her again. However, the same analytical process made her realise that he had clearly fallen asleep by her at some point in the long night that she had struggled through, and that in itself must imply more than a discharge of his duty, especially when he had already arranged a full-time nurse for her care. At this, Swara wondered where Akanksha was.
She remembered waking presumably some time after having arrived at Sanskaar's beautiful home, in this tastefully decorated room. Akanksha had been fussing around and the same elderly man she had seen greet Sanskaar, had been present too. He was quite spry and his eyes seemed wise but twinkled with intelligence and an intrinsic humour, although he studied her with grave attention. He introduced himself as the caretaker and gave his name as Kishanlal but said that most addressed him as Kaka Saa or Chacha. Swara had looked around, taking in the viridian shades mixed with other subtle accents in pleasing pastels in the room, the perfect foil for the creamy-gold draperies and soft fabrics on the bed and other furniture in the room. There was a lovely dressing unit to one side, with an ornate mirror crowning it, but what especially drew Swara's eye was the glass doors that seemed to lead to a flagged corridor and the large window the other side, which promised some pleasing views outside. Sanskaar had been noticeably absent. She had tried to enquire his whereabouts from his employee in what she felt was a very roundabout manner but both Akanksha and the old man seemed to see straight through it. Kishanlal's eyes laughed even whilst he held his mouth firm but he was forced to concede that the master of the house had left strict instructions that he was working and should not be disturbed. Swara tried to ask more questions as it was clear that the man could prove a mine of information on her mysterious rescuer, but it seemed that the same instructions Mr Maheshwari had left for others so far, applied to the Kaka Saa too and he evaded them deftly, before making up excuses about various tasks but promising them that he would ensure relevant comfort for them.
He had left them then and soon another very silent servant had brought them refreshments, but had avoided all attempts at conversation. Akanksha was to stay in a room very nearby but there was also a chaise type sofa in the large room allocated to Swara, as well as the deep arm chair placed near her own prettily feminine bed, that would allow her comfort whilst she had to stay with her patient. Swara had been deemed just about well enough not to need someone constantly with her in any event, and was able to also undertake some movement, which was meant to significantly improve over the next few days, especially once her physio sessions were intensified. However, it seemed that the trip made here had taken it somewhat out of Swara. She was making remarkable progress; one of the reasons Shalini Kapoor had found it difficult to withstand Sanskaar's persuasive arguments and eventual stubborn insistence in allowing Swara to be sent to his hideout. However, on reaching the mansion, she seemed to be exhausted and soon her temperature began to spike. Akanksha was attentive as ever and had noticed; beginning to dispense some pills straight away and forcing Swara back in bed, from her tentative exploration of the room she had been making. Swara made some token complaints but was secretly glad to rest too. She was still restless though and her eyes kept going to the door every so often, as if searching for company that never came. Akanksha noticed this too and after fetching some needed supplies from the kitchen at one point, she lightly chatted away to Swara.
"This house is something else- as soon as you are feeling a little brighter, which I fully expect to be really soon, you will have great fun exploring. It's huge but still inviting. All on one level in the bungalow style and I have only seen some of it but I can see various corridors leading to unknown rooms and spots that we can hopefully soon see. There is an open fire in the central living area, you know, and Kishan Chacha tells me the grounds would take hours too explore too. But please, Swara, no point looking at me like that. You have to kick this slight fever off and feel stronger before I can allow you to walk about really. Why don't you drink this mixture I prepared please- what is that face again for? It will do you good."
As she strictly managed her unwilling patient, and saw her once more glance towards the empty doorway, she couldn't resist saying a little slyly,
"I believe Mr Maheshwari is very busy. Chacha says he is shut away in his massive study, something of a man cave from what I can tell. He has left strict instructions not to be disturbed and I don't suppose many would dare disobey him. I wouldn't expect to see him anytime soon, but once you feel better, and we have the run of the place, I am sure we are bound to see a lot more of him."
"I am not bothered, Di. I had totally forgotten about him anyway. I am sure he has more important things to do than entertain us and I am happy enough with your company, although I would love to see more of this place. It does look wonderful and the outdoors must be so special too- I wonder if we can explore the area once I get better?"
Swara's response was far too quick and her shifting eyes and brighter cheeks gave lie to her claims of not wanting to see more of Sanskaar but Akanksha let it slide with a slight smile, keeping up a friendly dialogue until she saw Swara's fever worsen. Soon, Swara was in no state to talk and as evening approached, Akanksha knew they were in for a long night. Kishanlal had been busy overseeing all preparations now that the mansion had gone from almost empty to being graced not just with its master, but his surprising guests too. There was usually a skeleton staff needed to manage the daily tasks at Jannat whilst Sanskaar was not in residence, but when he was, the old faithful liked to ensure his comfort as paramount, and now that he had brought an injured young woman and her nurse there, Kishanlal felt the weight of even more responsibility. When he came to ask the women if they wanted to sit for dinner in the smaller dining parlour, he was unpleasantly greeted with the sight of a rather ill Swara. He helped Akanksha as much as he could and she remained calm as befitted her training, explaining that this seemed a temporary set back and medicine and rest should soon see the battered young girl set right again.
Thus the hours passed and once evening fell over the mansion and its surrounds, Swara was burning with fever and soon a little delirious. Akanksha worked tirelessly but began to flag somewhat, her experience with nursing coming to the fore to help her keep going. At one point, Kishanlal disappeared for a short while. Akanksha had now taken to placing cool compresses on her patient's forehead whilst she tried to keep her hydrated and ease her discomfort. Swara dozed in and out of a disturbed sleep, too wearied and aguey to find real respite, as she muttered in her pyretic daze. Akanksha carried on patiently, knowing she would have to bring the temperature that racked Swara's already weakened body down, but not liking the way she couldn't really get her ward to settle. Just as she wiped a tired hand over her eyes, she heard a very brief knock on the door, which then opened to admit a somber faced Sanskaar, whose eyes immediately fixed upon the small figure amidst the tangled bedclothes.
Sanskaar had spent the day deliberately closeted in his study, working yes, but also wanting and needing to stay away from the young woman who exerted such an influence over his thoughts and emotions. He was tired already, of fighting his inbred protective instincts towards her and his frustrating yearnings for her, which he hated himself for, on account of her treachery and her clear involvement with his own sibling. The whole thing was preposterous, thought Sanskaar to himself viciously.
"She is a schemer, just as her father is. Stop trying to find stupid excuses like perhaps her father's love made her do it all- whatever her reasons, she is why your family suffers and she deliberately lied and manipulated. Why is there any confusion in you regarding her? You need to hate her! It is essential- she is a pawn and all you need to do is direct your energies to making her recall her past so she can help you. As abhorrent as you find her, you need to stick close to her so you can monitor her and be there in case she remembers. Yet you avoid her as her big eyes and innocent ways are once more scrambling your brain to mush!"
As he continued his tirade against himself, his phone rang again and seeing it was Tony, he immediately swiped at it.
"Tell me there is some progress, Tony! Any leads on my brother? What? What do you mean, you thought you had a lead? That sounds promising." Sanskaar had risen from the high-backed leather desk chair he had occupied, in excitement as Tony spoke but soon, his face turned grim again. "It was a dead end? Are we sure? Hmmm, not sure then, but it seems like it is as good a confirmation as we will get. Tony- this is bloody ridiculous. Can your guys not speed this up? I hear what you say and I know you are all trying. I just need you to try harder. I know you are exploring everything. If the Gadodia girl could talk, this would all be so much easier, damn it. But we have to keep going, you and me both. We will get there. Laksh has to be found at all costs. What news from the Gadodia household? Is that their story? That their beloved daughter is very ill, and that she is convalescing somewhere and hence not in town? Pathetic. Yes, I bet the house resembles a morgue and is guarded like Fort Knox, although now that she isn't there what is the bloody point? Keep a close watch anyway, you never know what else we might find- long shot but still. Keep me posted, Tony."
"I will find you, Laksh. They won't harm you and I will get to you soon."
He waited for the anger against Swara to follow this promise to his missing cousin, but all he could think of was how much pain she had been in earlier and yet how she refused to utter any complaint. He had wanted to sweep her up in his arms himself and snatch her away from the clumsy louts carrying her who had jostled her stretcher and had accidentally hurt her. He knew he had overreacted; he had seen Kaka Saa stare at him strangely a few times as had that nurse but he hadn't cared then- he had been on edge until she was safely deposited and comfortable in the bed that would be hers whilst they stayed here. He had then hid in here, trying to pretend he had no more time to spare in thought of her. Even now, he wanted to check in on her, wanting to see how she fared and if she was sitting up, taking in the best guest bedroom in the house he had ordered for her. It also happened to be conveniently close to his own palatial suite of rooms, but he choose to ignore that for now; it was silly after all to think that the proximity to him had anything to do with wanting her to be accommodated in the quarters she was in. His irritation at himself was growing by the minute and he welcomed Kishanlal's knock a few minutes later, although when he heard why he had been interrupted, he faced renewed worry. He made for Swara's bedroom at once, his long legs leaving a flustered Kishanlal a little behind. He took in Swara's state with a sense of flaring panic and went to stand beside her prone figure in a trice.
"Why was I not called before?" He glared at poor Akanksha, who flushed at his censure, before she rejoined with unexpected spirit.
"Mr Maheshwari, I was told you were not to be disturbed. You had disappeared and I believed you were working. After the journey and recent upheaval, it's not unusual for Swara to not feel too great. She has a temperature, but it is slowly but steadily coming down. As is my job, I have been working on that without stopping and therefore you were not called by me- I didn't know I could call you or that you would want to be summoned."
He looked at her then and despite knowing she was right, Akanksha couldn't sustain his commanding stare for far too long. However, he had listened to what she said and also took in her tired face and slightly drooping shoulders, even as he felt Swara's slightly damp forehead, from which Akanksha had just removed the soaked strips she had been applying recently.
"Are you sure there is no danger? Do I need to drive to the nearest settlement where there is a hospital and fetch a doctor or get anything?" His voice was firm as ever but the anger was gone, replaced with a worry Akanksha could not miss and he could not conceal.
She replied at once, "Sir, she will be fine. As you know, we came equipped with a mini-dispensary and like I said, the temperature is and will come down. We have to let the medicine take its course and if she manages to sleep a little, I am sure she will be better tomorrow."
"Ok," he conceded finally, but still not moving from where he stood. "We will wait and watch over her." He seemed not to realise but he was still stroking her forehead, his fingers straying to the silken hair at her temples, his expression hard to decipher. He looked at Akanksha again, and at Kishanlal who also hovered nearby, having entered soon after him. "You get some food if you haven't eaten already, Nurse, it has been a long day for you?"
Akanksha was entirely surprised at this. "What a strange man," she thought. "He is expressing concern over me too now? Why does he behave so arrogantly though?" Whilst she was starving, she tried to make a token protest but Sanskaar overruled her easily enough and when she came back after eating a hurried but tasty meal, with Kishanlal chatting away to her easily during it, Sanskaar had already taken residence in the chair next to Swara, and even whilst he tapped away on his phone from time to time, it was clear he was watching her very carefully. Akanksha couldn't get him to shift after that. What was once more glaringly obvious was how his mere presence seemed to have a benevolent influence over Swara, even whilst she was not in her senses. When she squirmed, he would very gently lay his arm on hers or even just murmur soothingly and she would seem to hear and register. She partly woke a few times and looked at him in wonder, having little awareness of Akanksha or Kishanlal, but seeming to draw strength from Sanskaar's presence markedly. Both Akanksha and Kishanlal noticed of course, and many times, exchanged quick glances at the other, but without saying anything, and certainly not daring to provoke Sanskaar, who carried on tending to Swara as if there was nothing unusual about it all. Eventually, it was rather late and Akanksha gently suggested that she would stay with Swara just in case and that their hosts could rest, but Sanskaar instead stated that she looked like she was most in need of sleep. He stalled her protests swiftly with,
"Look, I know you will be used to long shifts but I believe you have been almost constantly on call over the past many days for Swara? In addition to that, I am sure you had practically no rest since far too many hours- I can see you are tired. I suggest you sleep a few hours and I will sit here. I have work to do anyway and these hours are normal for me. We need you rested and fit and able tomorrow I am sure so it will do no good to push yourself any further for now."
His logic and Akanksha's bone deep weariness won out in the end and thus when Swara woke in the early light of day, only Sanskaar remained in the room with her. She continued to study him as he dozed, but as tried to move very subtly, she must have made some slight noise or he may have simply sensed her keen regard and those tan brown eyes with their golden depths snapped open, welding to her. His gaze raked her even as he sprang up. He laid his cool fingers on her forehead, noting her colour with a slight frown.
"How do you feel? Your fever seems to have gone down but you are still quite flushed. I will get the nurse."
"Please, wait. I...You stayed with me all night?"
She had unthinkingly clutched his hand to stop him leaving and he froze for a moment, looking at her soft face, before almost snatching his fingers away as if she was contagious.
"It was.. The nurse was exhausted and you were burning up. When the fever finally came down a little, I insisted she go to rest but we felt you still needed to be watched just in case. I didn't want...the nurse to be ill, as that will only cause more headaches during your stay. I won't have time to play full time nursemaid to you."
He inwardly protested at the hurt look on her face at his abruptness, but she stayed firm.
"Whatever it was, I am thankful- it was very nice of you to do this."
"I am not nice. It was simply a necessity, that's all."
She looked a little annoyed now, but the hurt also lingered. "Fine then, thank you for taking care of...the necessity. It still meant I was looked after so I am grateful and I am sorry you are landed with this unwanted necessity, Mr Maheshwari."
Telling himself that his behaviour was exactly what it should be, didn't make it any easier, or him any happier. He also had the insane urge to ask her to not address him as Mr Maheshwari but call him Sanskaar, wanting to hear his name in her sweet voice again, like he had when he had introduced himself to her. His thoughts were totally undesirable, but before Sanskaar could frame a further sharp retort, Swara, had slightly sat up already and was attempting to move to rise from the bed, felt a slight tickling cough in her throat. In a moment, it had become a spluttering reflex and the attendant effort she made to swallow through it, forced air down the wrong way and soon she felt choked with the onslaught this brought on. The movements aggravated her tender ribs and made her chest hurt. Then, Sanskaar was at her side again. He had a glass of water in his hand, which he was holding out with alacrity but seeing her doubled over and in no state to immediately halt the seizure, he gave a quick exclamation and telling her to drink, he sat beside her, even as his arm went round her to firmly but gently roll in semi circular motions on her back. He brought the glass to her mouth, and with his hand still soothingly guiding her straighter, half leaning against him, he directed the flow of the cool fluid to bring her relief. Swara struggled to contain the coughing and gasping as she tried to grab for the glass too to force the water down. However, he was cautioning her to be careful and made sure she sipped slower than she would otherwise have managed, until the water trickled down her throat, finally helping to stem the uncomfortable fit.
She then partly rested against him, tiredly drawing breath in with effort, waiting for the weakness and pain to subside. He had moved himself further so she could use him as her prop and he placed the glass away by the bedside table, fighting the impulse to cradle her even closer. Instead he tilted her very slightly backwards so he could look at her carefully, ensuring she was fine. The water she had sipped hurriedly and in frantic need, had spilt a little down the thin top she had slept in, a rather ill-fitted cotton "kurti", and had also left a trail from the corner of her mouth to drip down her graceful neck, before disappearing into the opening of her blouse. His fingers dabbed at the corner of her mouth, touching the wet drops clinging to her skin but what started as a simple gesture one might employ towards a helpless child, was transformed the instant he felt the softness of her lips into a very adult impulse. She was totally still in his arms. His gaze was drawn to her lips first and then further down, and his mouth ran dry as he felt the stirrings of a response he told himself was totally unacceptable and base, especially given her weakened and vulnerable state. He knew he had to get away from her but she leant against his shoulder so trustingly and her eyes were latched to his as if she was just as magnetized by him as he was by her. Her breathing was still laboured but now there was an entirely different awareness burgeoning in her eyes. Without thinking, she seemed to press even closer to him, her eyes wide and expectant, if a little apprehensive. His brain was dimly shouting instructions at him, but they seemed to be coming from very far away. He knew he should move his hand away from her mouth, as the need to replace his fingers with his own lips over hers was growing indisputable and as if from a distance, he could see himself bending in minute degrees towards her; her flared pupils telling him she would not resist. He had wanted this from the start, he acknowledged. He recalled seeing her outside that club and his instantaneous attraction to her, only solidified by his later meetings at her father's offices and after that when those men had chased her. The worm had ingratiated itself into his subconscious. The thought train that led to even a remote recollection of her father, did what his usually famed rationality could not. It jolted him out of this captivation in the moment. With it came a searing anger at himself for still wanting this closeness to her given what she had done and then at her too, knowing she was unaware of any of that at this time, but was nevertheless capable of pulling him to her so powerfully. He moved his hand and with an abrupt and sudden movement, stood far too quickly, making her fall back with a start in his efforts to escape her temptation. He refused to look at the shocked hurt on her face and her lying almost sprawled backwards against the pillows behind her, knowing he would only see how lovely she looked and how much he wanted her in his arms, no matter what. He turned and the next instant, Swara was left staring at the empty door he almost wrenched out of its hinges as he exited. She dragged breath in again, her chest and head hurting once more and tears pooling in her eyes, unable to understand either her reactions, or his.
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