Dear Viji,
I know I am terribly late, (too late to even take refuge under the adage "Better late than never"😭).
I did think that reversal of the premise that it is Sanskaar who loses his memory rather than Swara was interesting and your tale made it gripping. Sanskaar falling into the river and floating before being rescued almost 60 km from where he fell is indeed a testimony to both his iron will and his steadfast love for Swara. Which is indeed why, throughout his battle against the tides and memory loss, it was her that he remembered distinctly, even if it gave him a wrong impression that she was the one who pulled the trigger at him. Her face was the first image he recalled, and kept remembering, his mind bringing other images and names and incidents to fore in bit and pieces though hers was the only constant one. And it did show in his commitment to recovery, he knew that she was waiting for him - she, as you rightly said - was both his anchor and his ballast.
Sanskaar Ram Prasad Maheshwari is indeed a formidable person who recovers his complete set of memories to a date approximately one year ago - when he had stood on the threshold of war. (That last line - where you mention "his jaw set in lines of granite and his eyes aglow with a recollected fury gives me goosebumps even now, even after having read the entire tale and knowing that he would not be doing any great damage to anyone).
I so loved the description of Sanskaar - both the physical one (especially the reactions of the men, women admiring good looking men is a given, but when men acknowledge the same, it lends greater credence, even if such admiration is admitted a little grudgingly.) Steely glint in those chocolate eyes, very very apt and the character analysis in the later chapter, as to why he loved gardening. It is indeed quite true, gardening is a very courageous hobby - as a nurturer and as a caregiver role that one adopts it gives you both the joy of watching things grow and blossom as well the resilience to accept the effects of the changes of both the seasons and time imprint on us. One learns that there is beauty in watching the plants and that winter / autumn is not the end, there is always spring and hope around the corner.
Sanskaar regains his memory till the date he had all set to re-enter the Maheshwaris' life to revenge what he had then thought was a betrayal. And when fate had brought him to the same stage yet again, he is unable to understand why he does not feel the fury anymore. He does recollect that the face so imprinted on his mind is the half-sister of Lakshya's fianc and what he had planned but then even with his mind cold and calculating, burning under the memories now being dredged to the fore, does not feel the same for her image, the one constant image that remained so unwavering that it even overrode the memories of Kavita. His logical mind did try to find a reasonable explanation as to why the woman had tried to shoot him and the absence of any gunshot wounds, and though his mind accepted the same he found it frustrating to accept the fact the he could not recall with accuracy. And then the continuation of the journey to remember, he does recollect who she was and then the realisation that he did not want her to be with his cousin.
It was a brilliantly written - Viji - the battle between what he remembered, what he thought he had felt then and the confusion with what he felt now.
His return only served to confound him further, he recognised who Parineeta and Ragini were, though he did not actually remember them and everything after that must have been blur as his muscle memory took over, the minute Swara threw himself (Muscle memory, indeed - there is a limit to which logic can be applied😉). Ragini was the only one who did recognise him, because she was the only one who had actually seen the darkness in those eyes, all those days ago. She is indeed quite perspective, and her reasoning was quite on the mark as was her decision - every princess needed a fairy godmother. And she also did notice, what Sanskaar failed to acknowledge or refused to contemplate, he still loved Swara - with a soul encompassing, an eternal kind of love, which the mind can forget but the heart remembers.
Swara and Sanskaar are true entwined souls, who not only could not live without each other, but even the thought of doing so does not cross their minds. Which is why Swara held on to the belief that Sanskaar was alive and which is why he did summon the reserves to fight to live, how could he die as long as she waited for him. So when both the families accept the rational thought that Sanskaar must be dead, Swara hold on to the premise that he is alive because she is.
Swara is so blissful and joyous at Sanskaar's return that even though she knows that he does not remember anything about the past fifteen months she does not realise what it means, she feels sad that he does not remember them but forgets what he could remember. But then none of the family realised either, except Ragini, the only one who actually connected the dots, the only one who knew what Sanskaar's memory loss meant and could mean.
It was real good reading about Ragini's epiphany and her regret - of a lost friendship - lost because she refused to heed to the good advice but maligned on account of the sordid unforgivable allegation she had charged him with. I have always liked Ragini (despite the repeated character butchering they have done with her in the serial) and here we have a chance to see her regret, express remorse and actually work towards her redemption. She was the only one who could gauge both his intention and his possible course of action. She was right, both in what he wanted to do and how he planned. First when she caught him reading the merger documents, she did guess that he was doubtful about how the whole merger came through and the masterstroke was the duplicate mobile bill - simple and yet absolutely effective, though luck did not completely side with her, (the call centre operator had to inform him about the request) but then it did set the tableau for the final confrontation.
Somehow though the whole chapter was hinged on the brilliant plans made by Sanskaar to wreck revenge (misplaced now as was then) it was Ragini who stole the show, the lightning and the thunder. His idea of claiming his share of the HUF - for the five years that he had not been paid for, would have indeed drained the resources of the firm and then he could sweep in with his SPV to rake in the remains - solid plan foiled by Ragini. She learnt well and enough to beat him in his own game. So much so that he had to resort to a pure emotional blackmail - of revealing her fake pregnancy. Fortunately that also backfired (a fantastic resolution though the same threatens to pan out very sordidly in the serial) and was actually the point that forced him to actually contemplate what his heart had been trying to say. It was indeed a journey from darkness to light (her path to redemption), from ignorance to truth (for Sanskaar). Her plan to come out with the truth was quite effective, it calmed all misgivings she and Lakshya must have had at the charade they had planned, it convinced all the elders that there was nothing wrong, and it pulled the winds from the sails of Sanskaar's ship of revenge.
Sanskaar battle was too good - both his conflict between his mind and his mind (that cold clinical part which planned his family's downfall down to the last tiny detail versus the logical one that kept reminding him that he was missing something, something very important) and his mind and heart. His mind remembers sleeping on the couch and is quite bewildered at the hurt that memory brings. His heart on the other hand is thrilled to know that he found himself on the right side of the bed by morning (and I will never be able to view a magnolia blossom the same way again) Upset with the disorder of his cupboard yet unable to make sense of his feelings when Swara explains the reason for the disarray. His mind going blank when Swara attempts to tell why she had two mangalsutras or rather decides tell him later and his heart seems to burst with joy when she slips the ring onto his finger rather than place in his hand.
Nakul's backstory was very interesting and quite touching to read, both on account of stating the reason of his adoration and near worship of Sanskaar as well as providing another insight into Sanskaar- of a man whose sense of fairness was so well construed that he took extreme care not to demand too much from the younger person. And is it precisely this combination which makes Sanskaar finally realise what a great folly, nay a crime that he would have committed if he had gone ahead with his plans. For only Nakul could have laid the facts and have Sanskaar believe what had actually happened though he still could not remember.
And this understanding was greatly helped by the fact that he finally decided to give in to his heart and claim Swara, heeding both to her unspoken pleas as well as his heart's desire (it never stopped beating for her, never stopped wanting her, though his mind did object at times) It must have been torturous indeed, he trying to huddle to the extreme left but his heart and his body (when he allowed his mind to stop exercising restraint) would find him on the right side - obviously she would glow and he was finding it even more difficult to fight his emotions. His first kiss (the second time round) did break all the barriers, he realised that he loved her, or rather finally admitted that he loved her.
But what endeared me the most is the love and understanding both have for each other. He feels guilty and even without him saying it, she understands it, every emotion every feeling that he must be having she could fathom and understand. She could indeed read his eyes and the underlying emotions that they displayed. When she learnt that he did not remember them, she did believe that their love would win through and it did, as she rightly said, even if Ragini had not confessed, he would not have taken the drastic step of exposing them. The ruthless Sanskaar of those days could not really bear to have Swara as a collateral damage so how could a Sanskaar who has been drenched in the cleansing waters of her love and adoration, even if his mind does not remember, do any harm. It was this faith that Sanskaar needed to finally redeem himself, once again, in his eyes. And when they surrender to each again, completely, it was an eternal moment for each other, etched forever in their psyche.
An outstanding tale and a very scintillating twist on the memory loss.👏👏👏 But then that is nothing unusual considering it is from you.🤗
Loads of love,
Nyna
PS: I am allowing the individual Res for the chapters to lapse 🤔and will unres for the epilogue soon.
