SwaSan Valentine Week OS-- 'Toska'

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#131

Originally posted by: Amrtina
Awesome OS

Thanks a ton. 🤗 Glad you liked it.

Cheers

Viji

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krishuuuuuuuuuu

@krishuuuuuuuuuu

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#132

Viji dear...😊

U have amazing writing skills..👏clapping..was moved how u described beautifully swara n sanskaar pain..separation their aches ..longing to be with each other...loved swasan confession completely...was blushing through out the last part...😳☺️

My family has started to think that i have lost my mind...smiling alone..🤪.reading wonderful stories on this forum has some profound effect on me...😆

TOSKA how u manage to find these words...n write an OS on it...terrific...fantastic...⭐️🤗

Love talia❤️

Edited by krishuuuuuuuuuu - 9 years ago

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#133

Originally posted by: krishuuu
Viji dear...😊
U have amazing writing skills..👏clapping..was moved how u described beautifully swara n sanskaar pain..separation their aches ..longing to be with each other...loved swasan confession completely...was blushing through out the last part...😳☺️
My family has started to think that i have lost my mind...smiling alone..🤪.reading wonderful stories on this forum has some profound effect on me...😆

TOSKA how u manage to find these words...n write an OS on it...terrific...fantastic...⭐️🤗

Love talia❤️

Hey Talia sweetie...🤗 🤗

Thanks a ton yaar for those very lovely words.

I wanted to portray that sheer anguish, yearning and heartsickness which Sanskaar and Swara feel when they are away from each other. Toska in its true sense. So glad you loved that portrayal, as well as their reunion and Swara's confession of her love.

Hehe...well i was blushing when I wrote that romantic bit, so was very happy to know it had that effect on you when you read it. 😳☺️

I can indenting with family thinking SwaSan obsession is nuts. 😆 During our Xmas and new year holiday, I was sitting up late at nights to write an OS series on SwaSan. 😆 My Hubby and Bro especially, were most annoyed at my diversion of family holiday time into writing. 😉 But kya kare...SwaSan make me obsessed.

Thanks again dear, will let you know when I write my next OS.

Love

Viji

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#134

Originally posted by: bones123
Hey Vijiii...
Such a wonderful story...total valentine feels...

I love the title...I hadn't heard of this word earlier, great meaning but also accompanied by such a lovely phonetic sound...!!

I like the description of Sanskaar in the beginning (P.S P&P is also one of my favvv books !!). The show and the actor gave us some lovely glimpses into his character, but I think its writers like you that take a monolithic brief and layer it absolutely beautifully. It's everythign and more that I'd imagine Sanskaar to be...

What to say for his anguish...bechara suffered such a lot, but true to his word never demanded, never forced...he just sat there agnoizing and being friend zoned like crazy !!! It was agony in her presence and agony in her absence...love how you've potrayed the anguish he feels in the nights...dreaming of somethign that he had promised he wouldn't want !! Poor fella !!

Swaaaraaa...this has been my full time gripe that she went full ff on her love realisation (At the wrong point mind you...had she reached there when she was a MM wasi, I wouldn't have minded) . But they have that fight and he says shooo...and she's like omgaaad louves. bechara is saying aise sau dard tum roz deti ho, and one day mein she's like yup...i heart yous. Plus until then, she wasn't even shown ever considering him, it was always his side of things. I wish there was a more gradual progression to her feelings and added with some tanhaaaiii.

Anyhooo...that's why we have your ff :) So beautifully put. I'd expect her to feel morose because of their separation. What you call out as her flaw is somethign I've felt for a long time. Willfully misunderstand her self...haahaaha...this is probably why a progression chart would have helped illustrate :P

Can't tell you how much I love the Shomi from your story. Superb exchange there. Swara voicing her insecurities is 👏👏👏...and who better than a mother to say chal pagli :) The way she takes her on that journey of realisation and draws parallels with S's own complicated life is beautiful. Past, pedestals, firsts...none of it matters. It's about what you feel is your soulful connectio now that makes a difference !

So batti jali finally and train pe chali apne saajan ko milne. You gotta say whatcha gotta say !!
The recliner part is just 😆😆😆...uppar ho yaa neeche...as long as the tum and mere are together !

His reaction is adorable...love, hormones, brain telegraphs...all going haywire !!! And his reaction to her confession is preciousss !!!! Truly...how long she made him wait...but hope is a good thing :)

That kiss...hallelujah...too bad we don't get any of those on the actual show (tsk only) ! The act of pouring all those pent up feelings and dreams into that one action is

Thankgod he went to shave tho...Him and beards is just bleh...teeehehehe...but in the interest of academic curiosity for Swara, I guess chalta hai...:)

Anddd it ends with another beautiful sounding word Ekstaz (I'm totally going to bring these up in normal conversation zabardasti :P)

Thank you for such a heartwarming story...made my day :)

P.S : Swara recollecting every detail of Sanskaar is fabulous !! also his tousled hair look is *seeeti worthy* 😳😳

Hey Priya...🤗 🤗

Dozens of jhappis for this most lovely comment, it was such a pleasure reading through your involved and layered feedback. Thanks a ton. 🤗

There was an issue of Readers Digest some years back which had this list of most beautiful foreign words. 20 words, I think it was. Saudade (Portuguese) is my favorite amongst those, so wonderfully poetic in its meaning. I'd already written an OS titled Saudade some months back. 😊 So now I wanted to do one on my next favorite in the list: Toska. Really is a lovely word, na? Packs so much meaning into those brief 5 letters, as you so rightly said. So much of anguish, yearning, nostalgia, heartsickness...

Pride & Prejudice and Persuasion are both among my favorites...I do see some shades of Mr Darcy/ Captain Wentworth in Sanskaar; and Lizzy Bennett/ Anne Elliott in Swara.

Sanskaar seriously does have nerves of steel and a will of iron to withstand all that agony at their parting. Yes, poor guy, he's promised Swara he won't force his love upon her, won't attempt to hold her back in this relationship if she doesn't want it; and he's true to his word. And his dreams are the only time his subconscious breaks through, after all, those barriers and defenses always weaken during those pre dawn hours, na?

I agree with you on how they kind of railroaded Swara's realization in the show. In fact, I would have preferred they delayed Sanskaar's love confession slightly, too (the sindhoor marriage and drunken love confession scenes are all time classics, just superb, but could have been put in a few more weeks into their "pretend marriage".) Swara's realization too, as you put so well, came about literally in like a few hours. If it was so easy, without immense internal conflict and insecurity, she could have well realized it before, na? 😕

So I really did want to make her pine for Sanskaar, yearn for his presence, his warmth and reassurance, his jovial chatter as well as comforting silences. I think that's the beauty of these two---they have seeped so much into each others consciousness, it is ridiculous to imagine them apart. But Swara would have needed time to realize that. Frankly, I would be very surprised if Swara did not have those self esteem issues. She's never had a reliable male figure in her life at all---her childhood was bereft of a father figure, and even when the weak kneed, spineless Shekar acknowledged her as his daughter, we all know how gutless and mistrusting he was. And Lakshya just sort of completed the whole shattering of her faith in love.

Sanskaar's very intense and potent adoration must have warmed her heart, and tremendously reassured her. But I guess somewhere deep within, she still wonders if she can ever fully let go and love him back the same way? And at least in this OS, I wanted to explore a very plausible insecurity she could have---that if living up to the image of Sanskaar's first love in his mind. That insecurity is also fueled by her years of low self esteem, she might fear she's not really worthy of being adored, in the intense way that Sanskaar does.

I did want to show Shomi here was being a wise and perceptive Mom. She's had such a wealth of life experience after all. Some good, some bad, but all experiences which have given her a very sound perspective. Who better than her, to help Swara resolve those deep seated insecurities?

I just loved the way you put that: Nothing matters regarding the past, first love, pedestal, whatever. What is crucial is the present and the future, the genuine emotion which Sanskaar feels for her, and what Swara does feel for him, too.

Yup, and Swara Madam certainly gets the batti jali-ing good and proper, and off she rushes home---Home being where the heart is! 😉 I'm so happy to hear you liked the inverse of that unforgettable recliner scene. 😆 I couldn't resist mirroring the "Tum Mere Upar Ho, Swara"; into a "Tum Mere Neeche Ho, Swara", and Swara's rather naughty riposte. 😳 And again, I loved this line from your comment: upar ho ya neeche, what matters is the tum aur main on the recliner!! 🤣

I was completely in SwaSan dreamland when I wrote that part about their reunion, Swara's confession of her love, Sanskaar's response to that...and the kiss of course. ☺️ . So I was really thrilled to hear how much you loved it.

And oh yes, Sanskaar is better of without a beard. I guess he looks his cutest with a stubble. Clean shave bhi chalega...bearded look is only the 2nd runner up. 😆 His tousled look really is seeti worthy na? 😳 Jaan lewa, as Shruti commented in this thread. 😆

Hahaha, glad to know you loved both the words Toska and Ekstaz so much. Am sure it would be great fun to use those in conversation. I've already used "Saudade" a few times. 😆

Thanks so much again, Priya! Really made my day to hear you loved this so much.

Love,

---Viji

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maaneetfan

@maaneetfan

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#135

Viji dear...how do u manage to come up with such swasanlicious awesomeness ever so often and surrounded by such busy schedules??

Muaah!! U made my Valentine's already firstly with quoting my favorite Austen quotes tht pertained to my all-time favorite couple Darcy and Lizzy!! This time i would say Austen would be pretty much proud of you ...and now tht I think of it...Sanskaar is quite like Darcy in the sense tht once Elizabeth had rejected Darcy he never tried to force himself on her but at the same time he exerted himself and made sure he was affable to her in every way...what he did for the Bennett family would hv them indebted to him for life and he could easily have demanded her hand in marriage for tht huge favor yet instead he made sure it was hidden from her and the family...and I guess this is the Pride tht you mean Sanskaar has too tht will ensure tht Swara tho she knows of Sanskaar's love fr her will never feel tht she has to accept his proposal in return for all the support he has given her.

I'm happy this is a total Swasan oriented OS and apart from their feelings no one else plays any part here except for Shomi and tht too just to clear Swara's head so she sorts out her own feelings and what is depressing her so much after having left the MM.

So glad this one is timed around Valentines ...the perfect day for soulmates to confess their feelings and loved "main tum hare uper hoon" hahaha ...those are one of the epic dialogues we will never forget

Aah Swara in a saree and a bearded Sanskaar...awesomest combination!!! And loved her Academic Interest in different types of kisses with and without beard!! And then one with a stubble the next day!!? Hahaha whatever will u come up next with!!

Wish it was longer...I was sooo lost!

Happy Valentines to u in advance dear!

Love Tas

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#136

Hey Shru, Tas...🤗 🤗

I have been elevated somewhere to 7th heaven by your comments my dears. I've read and re read each about 3 times I think. 🤗

I'm totally bushed now and desperately need to hit the sack. Will pakka revert with detailed individual replies tomorrow.

In the meantime, just wanted to say that you made my Friday evening so very special. 🤗

Loads of love

Viji

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bones123

@bones123

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#137

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

There was an issue of Readers Digest some years back which had this list of most beautiful foreign words. 20 words, I think it was. Saudade (Portuguese) is my favorite amongst those, so wonderfully poetic in its meaning. I'd already written an OS titled Saudade some months back. 😊
---Yes read that as well, once I finish your entire list I'll send you my thoughts on them all...

So now I wanted to do one on my next favorite in the list: Toska. Really is a lovely word, na? Packs so much meaning into those brief 5 letters, as you so rightly said. So much of anguish, yearning, nostalgia, heartsickness...

Pride & Prejudice and Persuasion are both among my favorites...I do see some shades of Mr Darcy/ Captain Wentworth in Sanskaar; and Lizzy Bennett/ Anne Elliott in Swara.

- Touche...

I agree with you on how they kind of railroaded Swara's realization in the show. In fact, I would have preferred they delayed Sanskaar's love confession slightly, too (the sindhoor marriage and drunken love confession scenes are all time classics, just superb, but could have been put in a few more weeks into their "pretend marriage".)

----My fav scenes tooo...but like you said, it would have been so much more impactful had they delayed it and shown some more internalizing of feelings..

Swara's realization too, as you put so well, came about literally in like a few hours. If it was so easy, without immense internal conflict and insecurity, she could have well realized it before, na? 😕
----- I know...she should have issues, and insecurities and more issues...but conveniently skipped all that...with all that S went through, she should have PTSD...but 😆😆

I'm so happy to hear you liked the inverse of that unforgettable recliner scene. 😆 I couldn't resist mirroring the "Tum Mere Upar Ho, Swara"; into a "Tum Mere Neeche Ho, Swara", and Swara's rather naughty riposte. 😳 And again, I loved this line from your comment: upar ho ya neeche, what matters is the tum aur main on the recliner!! 🤣

---Arre sachhi, after reading your story I went back to that scene...super cute execution that was

I was completely in SwaSan dreamland when I wrote that part about their reunion, Swara's confession of her love, Sanskaar's response to that...and the kiss of course. ☺️ . So I was really thrilled to hear how much you loved it.

---hahaha, I think it would do the readers good if you are more in dreamland :P though your real life might come back at me with a danda..

And oh yes, Sanskaar is better of without a beard. I guess he looks his cutest with a stubble. Clean shave bhi chalega...bearded look is only the 2nd runner up. 😆 His tousled look really is seeti worthy na? 😳 Jaan lewa, as Shruti commented in this thread. 😆

---teri har ada...sitam hai jaan lewaaa !!

Thanks so much again, Priya! Really made my day to hear you loved this so much.

--That's the least I can do...

Love,

---Viji

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#138

Originally posted by: Red.orchid
Awesome os👏

Thanks so much Sadhana dear...🤗 🤗

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TRPS

@TRPS

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#139

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Hahaha. 😆 Now that you mention it, those lines are appropriate for SwaSan. Hmmm...Kristoff and Anna as Sanskaar & Swara huh? Lakshya as Hans. 😆 But who is Ragini? She can't be Elsa? 😉

</font>

err! only thought about Swasan! 😛
umm...you choose!!! not many girls there was I guess! but I guess we can make merchant or duke from weasalton of whatever he was, Raagini! irrational grudges and poking nose , illogical evil ! 😛
by the way, the accent of that crooked shopkeeper was so cute naa!? woohoo!
and Olaf's too! :)

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TRPS

@TRPS

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#140

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Hey Toshi sweetheart...🤗 🤗

Thanks ever so much, the fact that you found this OS so very beautiful, made my day very lovely, too. 🤗 So glad I could make you happy with both the intensity and the peace at the end, both of which you so kindly said you loved.

Hahaha...I realized when you said it, that Toska rhymes somewhat with your name. But the meaning is not cheerful, you're right. Full of anguish and yearning and nostalgia.

Done! I will try to find another lovely word which rhymes with your name and is full of bliss and love. 😉 😛 Will let you know as soon as I find it!

I will do my best to frame an OS on one of Rabindranath Ji's poems...am working on an OS again based on a foreign word, at the moment. After that, will take up the poem based one.

Loads n Loads of Love,

---Viji

P.S: You mentioned something about your exams. All the very best for those, hope you sail through with flying colors.

</font>

will be waiting for it! 😊
And Thank you again for the wishes dear! 😊
PS- in this OS, I so loved the interaction of Swasan and of course the kiss so much. :)

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SwaSan Valentine Week OS-- 'Toska' - Page 14

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