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Hey guys!
So my day started with a lovely dose of SwaSan KC segments, which was just perfect. However, I know there are still a lot of rumours and spoilers out about all sorts of misleading potential tracks that we may get. The most irksome of these for me tend to be the Bhabhi-Devar supposed romance ones, so below is a One Shot, being my take on what we may get, mixed in with a healthy dose of my imagination as to how I would like it to play out! I hope you enjoy it and if you do (or even if you don't!) please let me know like always.
Thank you all!
PS: It's gone midnight and I am working tomorrow, so I still have to do a proper proof read; please excuse those types of errors!
ENTRUSTED
Swara sat on the bed in what was now her bedroom again, with her hands over her face, her tears seeping through her fingers. How had it come to this again? Was it ever going to end? After the months of traumatic events that had culminated in the shocking night when the macabre tableau with Ragini had played out, it had all felt somewhat anti climatic, but strangely final. Or was the assumed finality merely the desperate cry from her tortured subconscious, a need to seek comfort that the endless drama dragging on between them had at last ended? Never in her wildest imaginings would she have thought that after all that they had all been through, she would be back here in this room, but facing yet more ordeals. She and Sanskaar had joked so very recently that they were back where they had started, but it had been said in a light-hearted moment of companionable camaraderie, which seemed eons away already.
Sanskaar- thinking of him made her till now soft crying ratchet up to sobs, reminding her of the events that had just passed. She had felt the burgeoning tendrils of an odd sort of peace earlier, in the simple yet meaningful, celebration of Karva Chauth they had all participated in. Oh she had fasted for Karva Chauth for Sanskaar as a friend, having started off with no intention to fast, but feeling like it was the only option to keep Ragini from getting suspicious. Sanskaar had tried to give her various "get-out" clauses, as ever trying to ensure she didn't have to cave into pressure but when she had insisted she had to put on a show for Ragini's sake, he had again made it all easy by assuring her that her fast would not mean anything more significant than that of a friend's as a well wisher. She had gone along with this, taking the proffered branch of compromise he always seemed to have ready to extend to her, ignoring that slight niggling voice that seemed to be telling her that she was really not as reluctant to fast as she felt she should be in the circumstances. After all, she justified to herself, this was a little thing to do for Sanskaar who had proven his friendship in a way that she could not afford to think too deeply about, as in that direction lay a very slippery slope.
So she had played along, pulled along as ever by a chain of events destiny seemed to be weaving for her yet again. The day had only proceeded to get worse. As it is, it was difficult enough fighting off Lakshya's growing madness in forcing unwanted discussions and declarations of love on her, which were now entirely abhorrent to her. No matter what she told him, Lakshya misread her countless refusals as some sort of coy or misguided denial tactic, which in itself was infuriating. She still cringed when she recalled his intrusion in the bedroom the other night, and the scene Ragini had created after that. Thank God for Sanskaar, who had with his usual matter of fact practicality, simply overridden her nonsensical hysterics and had managed to control the situation before it escalated. Sanskaar always... Swara sharply steered her thoughts away from that direction.
Then there were the events in the park. Ragini going missing, her grueling confrontation with Lakshya, his preposterous suggestions about her going back to him should he prove Ragini was plotting and pretending again, which had firmly rebuffed with more than righteous anger and then those goons. Thinking about that made her shudder in memory and the made the grief sharpen. She had been so frightened. Their cold eyes and grasping hands and leering faces- it was as if she had been caught in a living nightmare ever since they had unceremoniously grabbed her and flung her in their van, driving her to some isolated go-down. She recalled how she had felt transposed almost as if in a time wrap, to that time that seemed so long ago, where Lakshya had played that heinous trick on her. She recalled with a twinge that despite the state she had been in, for a mad, entirely unbidden moment, she had thought that somehow Sanskaar would realise she was missing and working some miracle, find her, as he had when she had lain shattered and broken in that hospital after Ragini had pushed her in the river. The thought however fleeting had in any case been in vain.
Of course Sanskaar had no idea where she was, she had rushed out heedless to any sense, at the call from her sister earlier, and so rather than him, it had been Lakshya who had turned up as her savior. She had been petrified by that time, the sort of mindless fear a cornered animal must feel before a predator brings it down. The relief she had felt seeing Laksya had thus been overwhelming. She had been incoherent with panic and utter terror by then. When he rushed in and frightened those pieces of scum off, she almost felt dizzy with relief and gratitude. She had no thought other than of needing someone for comfort. She had crumpled to the floor in shock, and when he had put his arms around her, she had been grateful for his support. She sensed he was genuinely distressed too, and in that moment, all their history and the current divergence of their feelings for each other, were entirely irrelevant. He was her old friend Lakshya, and she was thankful for him. He had held her and she had sobbed. When the panic had slightly subsided, she had even shed some tears for where they now were- they had reached a full circle in their relationship, which had started with friendship and now seemed destined to end with it. She knew this would hurt him, having heard his recent protestations of rekindled love, and she was sorry, but it could be no other way. Lakshya was a chapter closed for her. She only wished that he would join her in turning over that last page, rather than fighting to keep the book open in a way that was bound to eventually rip the whole volume apart.
As if that was not enough, she was forced to compose herself and then come home to a house full of festivities and cheer, all of which she had to participate in as if nothing had happened, having agreed with Lakshya that they should save the revelation of what had almost happened to her, for a more appropriate time. Ragini too had been found and there was then the inevitable charade to continue with her, no matter how intolerable it was becoming. Sanskaar had sensed something was wrong with her. He had been rather withdrawn himself, and seemed very preoccupied with something and he kept disappearing for periods of time, which now all made sense, but did not then. Yet, as ever attuned to the slightest nuances of her mood, he had asked her a few times what the matter was but she had managed to evade his questions by saying that she would talk to him later when they were in private. There had hardly been any time in any case, with the ladies constantly demanding her participation in numerous rituals. Truth be told, it had all oddly been a welcome distraction and she was even able as the evening wore on, to return Sanskaar's often felt concerned glances at her with small, but not insincere, smiles. His very presence seemed like a balm to her previously frayed nerves; he had always had the ability to somehow ground her and provide her with stillness amidst whatever turbulent waters they battled against.
Then of course had come the revelation about him having fasted for her. Swara's sobs seemed to have automatically somewhat stilled as she had begun recalling the little moments of the day, her thoughts about Sanskaar, and then the incredible discovery she had made about how he had stayed hungry and thirsty all day for her. How could anyone do that, let alone someone in his situation? Men fasting for their women was a thing of Bollywood movies, in the society she had been exposed to, and certainly the one that was Sanskaar's world, it was unheard of, and entirely alien. The fact that he had done it silently, clearly intending for no one to find out, for a woman who had rebuffed him with more than required vehemence on so many occasions, was incomprehensible to her. It left her reeling with amazement. As it is, over the past few days, his care and concern had touched her so deeply, she had started feeling again like she had in the early stages of their friendship- safe, comfortable and if not happy, oddly content in the solidarity of his support. The fact that this time there was a sizzle of awareness she had never experienced before, she simply tried not to dwell on; it was too confusing to decipher amidst the rest of the tempest surrounding them. Yet, it was there. Her eyes would seek his for confirmation at moments of confusion, his touch felt gentle and strangely fitting, she liked seeing him smile and wanted to smile back at him. And then to find that he would do this for her, without any hope of recompense of any kind, even without any desire for the slightest acknowledgment, awed her. She had told her mother that he had the qualities of an ideal husband, but in that moment, she truly felt a twinge of wistfulness at how she had chosen not to be that fortunate woman. Oh, she had suppressed this before the thought could fully take root, as fear gripped at her the thought of where such thinking could lead, but felt it she had. It had suddenly negated the ill effects of the horrendous day she had had. She would never forget the fear she had felt whilst she had been kidnapped, but whilst busying herself ensuring he ate and gently scolding him without trying to attract more attention to them, she had managed to genuinely relegate those moments to the back of her fraught mind.
She was not to be granted respite for long though, recalled Swara bitterly, shattering the brief moments of calm she had managed to achieve by thinking of Sanskaar. "What must he think of me now?" she thought with despair, crying again. The memories of those vile photographs arriving via courier and being handed to Badi Maa, who had in stunned disbelief, consulted with Bade Papa, and then being discovered by Ragini herself, who had snatched them and gone into hysterics, rejecting all of Bade Papa's attempts to hush her, crashed in on her, causing pain to knife through her. Someone had taken photos of her disheveled and distraught, with her clothes and hair awry after the attack, clutching Lakshya for comfort. The way the pictures had been taken was disgusting; the sole intention being to portray something cheap and tawdry, where it had been anything but. As devastating as that was, seeing the reaction of their families at the manipulated vulgarity, was what shattered Swara. Shock and disbelief had been predominant but there had been an undercurrent of wounding suspicion that had crept in, fuelled by Ragini's words and her histrionics.
Swara had looked at Sanskaar almost by instinct, and what she had seen had hurt as much as seeing the spilled prints on the floor. The look of naked agony in his eyes when he first saw the pictures, had lanced white-hot shame and pain through her. She had no right to expect anything other than his anger and disgust, she could see the entire family trying not to jump to conclusions, but the evidence was compelling and had she not herself lived through those moments, she would have doubted herself. Added to this were Ragini's eloquent wailings about how she knew Lakshya still loved Swara, and no matter how innocent everyone believed Swara, how could she do this? Swara and Lakshya had tried to explain about the kidnapping, Swara frantically looking into Sanskaar's eyes for long intervals during her tearful confession, wordlessly imploring him to understand and know that she would never do this. Except for a slight muscle twitching in his jaw and his eyes blazing with a strange fervor, he had simply listened. Yet, there was no answer convincing enough for Ragini, who made the point compellingly that regardless of what Swara and Lakshya said, surely the actions being depicted in the photos had taken place, and how could they be considered legitimate?. Swara still winced at the horrible accusations Ragini had leveled, all designed to inflict damage.
Then Sanskaar had spoken. His voice steady and and his gaze firm, he had firstly asked Ragini to shut up.
"Bass Ragini, bahut hogaya. Tumhari ghinoni batein bandh karo. Tumne sunna nahi ke Swara aur Lakshya ne kya kaha? Tum apni behen par toh bharosa nahi karsakti, yeh toh hum bahut atchi tara se jaante hain, lekin tum apne pati, jisse tum sachi mohobbat ke itne bade bade davve karti ho, uspar bhi aisa ilzaam lagao gi?"
Ragini would not be stopped, "Sanskaar, aap kuch bhi kehle, inn photos mein jo saaf saaf dikh raha hai, uska kya? Kya aap Swara ke pyaar mein itne andhe hai, ke ankho dekhi sachayi ko bhi undekha kardenge?"
"Haan, mein isse undekha karsakta hoon. Tumhe pata hai kyon? Kyun ke sirf pyaar ki baat nahi hai Ragini. Pyaar ke hi jitna aur pyaar se bhi shayad ek ageka darja rakhne waala ehsaas hai - vishwaas! Aur mujhe Swara pe poore poora vishwaas hai. Swara kabhi bhi aisi harkat nahi karsakti, koi mujhe jitne bhi photographs dikhade, yaa phir kyun na koi nahi video bhi mere saamne rakhde," the last was delivered with a chilling smirk that made Ragini pale in anger and shock.
Now Sanskaar's eyes raked the rest of the family, "Bahut ho chukka yeh natak. Saaf saaf dikh raha hai ke kisiki ghatiya aur behooda chaal hai ye. Hum sabh yeh toh jaan hi chuke hai ke kabhi kabhi ankho dekha bhi kitna jhooth ho sakta hai. Mujhe zyaada kuch nahi kehna," now again pinning Ragini with his rapier like eyes, "lekin atcha hoga joh hum pehle ki hui galtiyan na dorayen. Photographs ka kya bharosa, log unhe kuch bhi tara se change karsakte hain, kisiko drugs khila kar tasveerein le sakte hain, yah phir tasveerein jiss tara se khinchi gayi ho, wohi galat ho, jin logon ki ho, woh bilkul bekasoor ho." He had masterfully reminded their family about the history of doctored "proof" Ragini had concocted not long ago, but in a way that did not explore the story of her revelation. "Joh bhi ho, jisse joh manna hai woh unki marzi, mujhe pata hai ke Swara aur Lucky dono hi sach bol rahe hain."
That had been it. Bade Papa had interjected, fully pledging his support to Swara and Lakshya and actually saying he would ensure they made enquiries as to Swara's kidnapping and the mystery behind the photos. The tide had fully turned, multiple suspicious glances were leveled at Ragini, who was bested and she knew it. She had retreated as only Ragini could, but even Swara whose willful negligence with her sister had led to this juncture again, had noticed the look she shot Sanskaar. It dripped venom so poisonous, it almost threatened to choke Swara just watching. Sanskaar had been unfazed however; he had matched her glare with a steely regard that promised retribution and recompense.
Swara had run to their room after that, overcome with shame and anguish. Sanskaar's words had shaken to her very core. Had she not fully expected at least some suspicious questioning from him? "How can he trust me so much, even when he saw what those photos show, and after all the recent things that have been happening with Lakshya? I mean, even Lakshya had no choice when Ragini made that video of me, how can you not suspect when you see something like that?" As if she had conjured him with the intensity of her thoughts, Sanskaar with a gentle knock entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He looked at her, pain and understanding etched on his stark features. Seeing him, the weeping intensified and more sobs wracked her slim frame. He quickly walked over to her, and siting next to her on the bed, turned her firmly to him. She couldn't meet his eyes, the shame was too great, but he carefully raised her chin, forcing her to look at him. He had a wry smile on his face, despite the lines etched around his eyes, and he was softly shaking his head. His ever available pristine white linen handkerchief was already extended, and he proceeded to still her protests, wiping her tears with the utmost care, an expression of such tenderness on his face, that it made her breath catch.
"Swara, abh nahi. Aaj ke liye itna kaafi hai. Nahin please, sunno", he interrupted her before she could speak, "Aaj humme iske bare mein koi aur baat nahi karni chahiye. Main jaanta hoon kya hua tha, tumne neeche sabh samja diya hai. Mujhe Ragini ke barein mein kuch baat karni hai, lekin woh bhi aaj nahi. Tumhe aaram ki sakht zaroorat hai, isiliye abh tum aaraam karogi, aur phir kall hum dekhlenge. Waise bhi, sabh ko tumpar bharosa hai, toh yeh sabh kyun?"
"Tumhe kaise bharosa hai Sanskaar? Tumne ek minute ke liye toh socha hoga na, jabh woh tasveere dekhi? Maine tumhara chehra pehle dekha tha, tumhe bhi laga than naa...?"
"Nahin Swara! Haan, mujhe woh photos dekh kar dard hua, lekin main tumhe jaanta hoon Swara, tum kabhi galat kaam nahi karogi. Aur kaise bharosa hai ka kya matlab? Tumhe mujpar kaise bharosa tha jabh Ragini ne mujpar ilzaam lagaya tha?"
Swara stared at him in wonder, her tears halted. She had forgotten that awful night. She had trusted him implicitly then, but the situation was different. He had been accused of molestation by her plotting sister, she was accused of being in a compromising position with her ex fiance everyone mistakenly believed she still loved, and there was prima facie evidence of it. He was still talking.
"Humara rishta itna toh mazboot hai na Swara, ke hum ek doosre par yakeen kar sakein? Kyun, kaise, woh sabh mayne nahi rakhta. Mujhe yakeen hai, bass. Aur abh hum iss barein mein baat nahi karenge, ok?"
The invisible fist that seemed to have gripped her heart, painfully squeezing it, seemed to relent its hold finally. Her eyes still wide at the wonder of him, she slowly nodded. He was smiling at her approvingly, undercurrents of concern still shining through.
"Atcha, toh phir challo, main bhi guest room mein jaata hoon, aur tum sojao." He got up and made as if to move away, to suddently find his hand held. He froze and looked at her.
"Sanskaar, please- aaj yahin rukk jao," she almost whispered, her eyes still brimming with tears, but pleading with him to understand.
His eyes widened in response and he was very still, sudden tension reverberating through him, felt by Swara holding his hand, almost like a frisson of current. Of course he had never been able to resist any entreaty of hers, so he then almost abrubltly nodded.
"Emm, haan toh theek hai, challo tum sojao, mein couch par so jaata hoon."
Swara stood too, feeling like she was suddently on shifting sands; she felt unsteady and unsure, and she looked behind his shouler at the too small couch, where he had suffered clearly uncomfoable nights for so long for her sake. She then looked at his now familiar face and felt something give way in her heart.
"Tumhe couch par sone ki zaroorat nahi hai," seeing he was about to argue that she could not sleep on the couch, she rushed in before she lost her nerve, "Yeh bed itna bada toh hai. Tum uss taraf sojao, mein iss taraf," gesturing almost wildly in the opposite directions of the bed. "Beech mein cushions ki deevar banadenge."
She had managed to stun him into silence. She knew she was flushing deep red, and he also seemed to have hectic spots of colour on his face and amazement in his eyes.
"Lekin Swara..."
"Sanskaar, kya jaise tum mujpar bharosa karsakte ho, uss tara main tum par nahi karsakti? I trust you Sanskaar."
They both looked at each other, lost in a moment of beautiful stillness that proclaimed the momentous start of a new and beautiful beginning, full of discoveries and uncharted experiences. His trust in her had made her entrust herself to him in a way nothing else could.
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved- George MacDonald
