Sanskaar Chronicles! Updated part 6,7,8,9,10; page 24 to 25 :) - Page 12

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Sparkler8 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Its difficult to pm so many people one by one. I follow the buddy list process for my works so do some other writers as well.😊
LoveSriNal thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
it will be easy for you to pm the people who are in your buddy list. I sent you buddy request when I read your ff. but you forgot to pm me.. next time please follow your buddy list for pm. if u request the people to buddy me for pm . it would be easier for them as well as u .
Banjaaran25 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
thank you for the reply girls..
*hugs*
Gotcha!



Javeria3991 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Pm me when you update
Banjaaran25 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Home!

He took a deep breath.

Looks more imposing, more grand and yet feels just like home. But there is this quite disquiet feeling in him. This is the home he grew up in. He laughed, cried, learned, loved. Every nook and cranny of the house, every wall, every inch of it... His home!

Yet this is not home.

Because the Sanskaar who loved everything about this home and loved everyone of that home is no longer the same Sanskaar.

This one is not coming home in peace. He is back with vengeance! For vengeance!

He is back not for love but with hatred.

And he is not back to be a part of this beautiful house again. He is here to demolish it brick by brick. Figuratively and literally!

He looked around. The faces surrounding him beamed with smiles. Just to see him back in the home.

He felt an immense cloak of guilty smothering him.

He ruthlessly snubbed that feeling. He doesn't need that feeling in his life. Especially at this time when he is entering the second phase of his grand scheme of things.

"Where is bhaisa?" Sujata; his mom; asked Annapurna; his badi maa. He looked at his badi maa and saw a cloud passing through her usually serene eyes.

"He is out." She replied softly "he will be home soon."

At that moment he realized the extent to which she went just to bring him home.

Durga Prasad left the home. Didn't he?. Because he doesn't want Sanskaar back in his house. And you let him go maa! For me! For a traditional Marwari women her life revolves around her husband and his diktats. And you broke that tradition to bring me home. And you are not even letting anyone know how much this love for hers for him; who is not even her own blood; costing her at that moment.

Awww Maa! I am so sorry! So so sorry.

He felt a strong urge to hug his Maa. And had to physically restrain himself for doing so by digging his nails into his palms bunching his fists.

He CANNOT afford to succumb to human emotions right now. He can't. No matter how much it is hurting him he can't let the human side of take over. It is the time for vengeful shell of broken soul to step in. No matter how much it hurts or feels wrong.

I am so sorry maa!

And he really has to step in the momentum. He planned to take it slow but now he is unsure for how long will he be able to keep up this charade. He was better off sitting in that cold soulless office of his; planning and executing his moves with ruthless precision and in cold blood. He was bloody good at it.

He chipped away at Durga Prasad and son's empire bit by bit, chip by chip and used those bits as foundation to raise his own empire.

He dealt death blows to his bade papa's business repeatedly and found immense pleasure when each blow of his met its mark with deadly precision. He felt no remorse; no guilt.

In fact he loved it.

Now he understood why it was so easy for him to do that. Because he was surrounded by hatred. His own bitter soul for company. Those numbers of balance sheets; the business charts; the chess manoeuvres of economic world... were just like him. Soul-less! He was home!

And now he is home again. But this time he is surrounded by love. By people who are so happy to have him back and are freely showering him with the love he is unworthy of.

If only they knew.

He has to get going. And going fast. He cannot stay here for long or he will end up doing something he will regret. Worse he will ending up hurting those whom he want to spare.

Beat it Sanskaar!

And he did just that.

He created an almighty drama of slashing his hands chanting "I want Ragini mantra" which tossed the entire family into tizzy and got his darling young brother into panic.

Sanskaar was counting on him to panic and slip. And slip he did. He knew his lucky so well. Faced with a challenge he always takes the first available way out. Easier the better. He lacks the maturity to ponder upon the best possible course of handling the situation. No sir! He does what he can do easily.

And what is the easiest way to prise away her darling grand-daughter away from that dragon Dadi's clutches? He placed his chips on her too and she paid huge returns for that. God bless that dragon!

Sanskaar smiled.

Right from childhood he is blessed with the uncanny ability to judge people and their movements even before their made their moves. No wonder no one challenged him for a game of chess ever. Not in school; colleges or business houses. The humiliation he would pour over them by playing not only his moves but their's too with spooky precision would terrify them.

And this time he playing with live pawns. And with deadly instincts and cold calculations he ended up putting his pawns in the exact squares where he wanted them to be.

A pawn jumped two places, one moved diagonal; one went straight and everything paused at the exact level of the game he wanted it to be.

Perfection!

He gave a smile of pure satisfaction and leaned on headrest of his bed placing his hands behind his head and winched in pain. The wound curtsey that knife stunt he pulled hurts. Old Sanskaar would have been appalled and embarrassed of the antics and drama of this new one. But then that old Sanskaar is no longer around is he?

He got up from the bed and walked towards the wall where a family picture was hung. He slowly and gently removed it from hanging and cradled it to his heart and sat down on floor.

He stared at the painting for a long moment.

The people inside those painting stared back at him. Loving smiles! Innocent looks!

And Sanskaar of that picture: he looked so .. so innocent, young, happy.

He felt a slow tear sliding from his eye.

Why?

Why couldn't life be little kinder?

Why did he become what he became?

How could he hurt those who loved him and are still loving him?

Though he expected laksh to do what he was done he was surprised and though he hated to admit it was touched by the alacrity and absolute concern with which his brother acted. Just for his big brother. His hug; his happiness; his concern; his love for him. Just like his old lucky.

Why?

His badi maa who chose him over her husband at a great personal cost.

His mom wouldn't stop smiling and crying alternatively looking at him out of sheer happiness just to see him.

His dad checking on his son every next hour to make sure if he actually home and that he is not dreaming.

The beaming smiles of Adarsh bhaiyya and parineeta bhabhi.

The pure happinees on the face of his little sister Uttara.

And then there is Ragini.. his duppatte wali friend and her overwhelming kindness towards him.

And then there is Swara. That innocent; caring; sweet little tune of happiness and purity.

How could he hurt them all?

He slowly turned the picture back and gently removed an old faded picture that he kept hidden in the back of the frame.

Kavita!

He very gently touched the picture.

His first love; the girl he loved her with as much passion as it was possible for a young rebellious twenty something guy to love.

She was so young. So damn young. And so innocent and fragile. He was her first love; her friend; her protector; her everything. She counted on him to watch her back. And what did he do?

He failed her in worst possible ways.

He let her out of sight for a moment and she is gone forever. Because of him. If only he never entered her life at the first place she would have been alive. Living a live that a good kind soul like her deserved to live. Instead she died. And he lived. With a dark broken soul and ruins of past as his companions.

He could have survived losing love if only she left him and chose her happiness with someone else.

How is he to survive when she chose him with love and hope and he watched her die because of that choice?

She is dead because of him.

You did that to her Sanskaar!

He closed his eyes in extreme anguish. That same accusing tone went over and over again in his head. It was going on for past 5 long years. Condemning; cursing and killing his soul. Every waking minute; even in those endless fitful nights.

Right from his childhood he took over the role of protector of his siblings. Adarsh bhaiya though older was lot weaker. Laksh; immature. Uttara; too young. And he stepped in to protect them in every possible way he could. From the back yard bullies; teachers; bade papa; girls; boys; life. He was the shield.

Those protective instincts of him were the core of his entire build.

He loved his parents but he idolized his badi maa and bade papa.

When you idolize someone you imbibe their traits.

He not only mirrored but actually absorbed their strongest traits.

The strength of character; the dominance of spirit; the business acumen and the bullish attitude from his bade papa.

The trait to love freely and going all out for those you love from his badi maa.

Too bad he couldn't inherit their ruthlessness.

Yes! Ruthlessness.

His bade papa casted him; the ridiculously young Sanskaar into his heir role because he saw himself in him. Loved him, trained him and moulded him putting him above his own. May be that's why he took Sanskaar's rebellion as personal failure. His love for a Bengali girl going against his culture and social standing as slur on his upbringing. That's why maybe he reacted the way he did.

If only his Bade papa killed him instead of the kavita. He would have forgiven him.

And Badi maa! She loved him as much as it is was possible for her to love a son who is not born out of her. Sometimes even more. But he is under no illusions that between her own blood and him which one she would chose if the time gives her a choice. It probably will break her heart!

But she will choose.

And that choice won't be Sanskaar.

Yet he loved them. Because they are just like him. Flawed!

And now he will end up hurting them both. One deserves the pain but the other one doesn't.

Yet he would end up hurting her.

And others.

But he has to.

He owes it Kavita. The fire of vengeance consuming him will quench only when those responsible for the death that young beautiful life who deserved so much to live will pay for their sins.

Durga Prasad Maheshwari.

And Laksh Maheshwari!

Maybe then the guilt eating him from inside will set him free.

He could live with anything but not with the sense of failure. He is not built that way. He failed her in life; He does not intend to fail her in death too.

Sanskaar bitterly wiped away the tears welling in his eyes.

He can't afford them now.

He WONT fail again.

If that means innocents getting hurt... SO BE IT!

He placed the picture back on the wall and turned his back on the people in it. Including himself.

Figuratively and literally.

He must not think.

If he thinks; he feels.

If he feels; he hurts.

If he hurts; he will fail again.

And failure is not an option for him. It never was!


He will not think.

He will act now. The grand board of chess is waiting for him. He can't abandon it midway.

He has to play!

And Play he will.


Edited by Banjaaran... - 9 years ago
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Very well done, indeed 😊

The grim resolve Sanskaar has to complete his vendetta...but his concern and human side are peeking through all right! His emotions for his badi maa, his mom, his dad.

And he may pretend to hate Lucky all he likes, but you have shown him reacting to Lakshya's brotherly affection.

What I liked was the chinks in the armor he's assiduously built up---though he wants to use Ragini and of course Swara, as pawns, he is concerned and feels guilt about both of them. Swara has already started fascinating him with her innocence. 😊

What I liked best was this dichotomy you've portrayed so well---Sanskaar's human face peeping through his iron mask. The chess analogy in this chapter too, was very apt. 😊
Sakura24 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
I've been touched by your words again.
In fact I was thinking about something along these lines for the IK of mine too. This update has the gist of Sanskar in it. The bad and also the good. The emotions he's fighting through are so real, they could almost cut him apart.
It seems sane now, why he feels so hatred for them, he had trusted them just too much that the pain has become intolerable. I can see how their affection started to effect him, he's already feeling guilty.
You have done an awesome job of getting under this mystery guy's mask! I enjoyed this chapter more than the rest.
Good luck, keep it up!!
Edited by Sakura24 - 9 years ago
CarpediemRose thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
It was superb piece of writing,loved ur work soo much dr👏👏👏
Please do continue soon,waiting for the next update😳😳
tigress.meenu thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
awesome dear..
sanskar's feelings were etched beautifully...
and the emotional turmoil of him is described superbly😊
Lifez_Beautiful thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
A beautifully evocative piece dearie! I feel I'm inside Sanskar's psyche! 👏 👏

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