Snow Covered Plains- A Swarya Fanfic CHAP 4 Up pg 6 - Page 4

No worries, please take care of yourself. You have our best wishes for your good health and and an safe and easy passage through the coming months for you and princess (fingers crossed)

... not least because we're selfish p*gs who really really want to read your coming chapters! 😉

SWARA'S BEDROOM

Laksh enters Swara's bedroom and sees her standing holding the windowsill, facing out the window. He watches her back for a while, comepletely still, her beautiful black hair put up in a messy bun, exposing her beautiful thin neck. Laksh closed his eyes and etched it in his mind, just in case this was the last time he'd see her like this, but the thought itself caused all the air to leave his lungs. He thought about all the times he'd imagined this exact vision awaiting him as he came home from work, and without hesitating a nano second more, he strode towards Swara and wrapped his arms around her waist; he hid his face in the crook of her neck and breathed her in. He loved feeling her muscles relax and come alive at the same time; it was unlike anything they'd shared with Swara before. He knew Swara wasn't in her right frame of mind, but the fact that every feeling in mind, in her heart and in her body was only for him enthralled him, he couldn't keep himself away from her. Even when he knew he should, something in his head would say- f**k it and he would take their affections a little too far. He kissed her neck and her shoulders and then turned her around to face him only to notice tears rolling down her face.

L: Shona! Kya hua? Tum ro kyun rahi ho?

She points towards the window

S: Tum aaye the waha se. Uss din, shaadi se pehle. Tumhe meri mehendi dekhni thi par maine nahi dikhayi...aur phir...aur phir...mujhe kuch yaad nahi Lucky. Par mujhe bohut daard ho raha hain yaha (points at her heart). Aisa kyun hain Lucky? Mujhe itna dard kyun ho raha hain?

Laksh watches her cry about a nightmare she doesn't even remember, but he does, he remembers every moment of the night their dreams were crushed by her petulant sister's immature desires. Suddenly he feels his legs cave and he sit down on his knees, tightly puts his arms around swara's waist and rests his face against her stomach and just cries.

S: Laksh? Lucky kya hua?

L: yeh khushi k aansu hain. (he looks up at her) I love you Shona. (he kisses her stomach) Tum dono meri zindagi ho. Aur hum teeno ko koi alag nahi kar sakhta.

S: Lucky?!? Tum aisi baatein kyun kar rahe h...

Lucky immediately gets on his feet and puts a finger on her lips and lifts her in his arms bridal style. Slowly they walk over to Swara's bed and he lays her down and gets on top of her, without a moment of hesitation he kisses her. Swara is shocked at his outburst of affection but doesn't fight it, she responds in kind. Something in her tells her that he needs this. He needs to feel close to her, but whilst her body responds, her mind cant seem to understand what this' was. But Laksh reads the confusion she's unable to voice and immediately regrets his decision. He stops kissing her and gets off of her.

L: Mujhe maaf kar dena Shona, mujhe samajhna chahiye tha.

He starts getting up when she holds him back.

S: Yeh...mujhe kuch samaj nahi aarahi hain Lucky.

L: Shona samajna tumhe nahi, mujhe chahiye tha...

S: Par mujhe samajna hain Lucky.

Laksh looks at her in shock. She takes his hand and puts it on her face.

S: Jab tum mujhe yaha chute hon toh mere dil ki har daar chala jata hain. (he moves his hand to her lips) Par jab tum mujhe yaha chute hon toh mera dil bohut zoro se dhadak ne lagta hain. (she then moves his hand from her lips down her neck to her heart) Aur jab yaha chute hon toh aisa lagta hain k bohut saare butterflies meri peth mein urr rahe hain, meri sansein tez ho jaati hain aur meri baki saare senses jaise baandh ho jaate hain. (she takes his hand and puts it on her stomach) Aur jab tum yaha haath rakh kar humare bacche ko mehsus karne ki koshish karte ho toh aisa lagta hain k main tumse juda hi nahi hoon, jaise k tum mere andar hi hon...

Laksh sits back down on the bed and kisses her once more, all his doubts and guilt taking a backseat. At the back of his mind something tells him that this was not what Sharmishta and Shekhar had in mind when they allowed him to stay with Swara but what they didn't know wouldn't harm them. He also knew that Swara is not in her senses and if she was she'd never allow him to touch her whilst his "relationship" with Ragini still persisted, but today he wanted to be selfish and take the comfort her arms offer, take her love and feel close to her and their child. He promised himself that this wouldn't be the last time he would be with Swara and he wouldn't let anything happen to their child. He would safeguard his family at any cost. With the last thought he threw caution to the wind and just went with it.

And we're all so greedy, 😳we get a morsel of Lucky and his Shona and we immediately want more!

See,I know there is a moral dilemma here, but frankly its not really pinching yet - although I know it will as we go on. To me, so far its damn straight. Lucky needs to get rid of Rags at all costs and I would rather he does that before indulging his love. The longer he drags the "marriage" the worse it will be.

But fundamentally, emotionally and morally any so-called relationship with Ragini does not exist. But maybe thats just the way am I thinking - I tend to get irritated by an elevation of a ceremony above individuals.

Slight tangent: I dont' kow if you guys have heard stories and examples of the type of thing where even if you are duped into a marriage ceremony with a mentally subnormal person it is considered highly moral to honour that marriage... but to me such a marriage is an insult of a sacred bond, not a sacred bond itself.

I think Ragya fans have that kind of thing in mind - marry then gradually be won over etc the old old story family elders love to promulgate.

But how much worse would it be when the person you have married is the cause of destroying the one person you had vosed to love and protect. Then to honour that relationship would be a blasphemy and a sin and it seems Lakh is feeling that.