SHAURYA AND CEN? A Psychological profile analysis - Page 7

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

Oh totally curious now to hear that.

@bold 100% 👍

Lets keep it for some other day.. when we will do deep psychological and behavioral analysis of shaurya sabharwal and his miss bhalla😆

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

When your parents don’t notice, value, or respond to your emotions, or they question your emotions when you express them, they unintentionally send a message to you that your feelings don’t matter or that there’s something wrong with the way you feel. To cope, you learned to bury your feelings or to transform an “unacceptable” emotion like anger into an “acceptable” one like anxiety. (He is never learnt to let his emotions out in an healthy way so he doesn't know how to deal with them and express it in the easier term he knows. Extreme anger. Anokhi always asks him about why are you so angry or why are you so bitter? It's not her fault. It's probably not his too. He doesn't know any other way to express his emotion. Anger is the easiest one)

• I agree with you cause at a young age no one told him how to cope with his emotions, so he doesnt know how to react or say..even he probably doesnt get what he is feeling..like u said he just shows an angry emotion for everything...we cant really analyze Shaurya's childhood as we only get bits of pieces of it...we dont know what kind of trauma he has gone through after his mother left poor child probably needed love n care n told that she didnt leave him she didnt want...i feel if this part was handled better maybe his thinking wouldnt have gone down so low n show up as anger...

You’re afraid of relying on others, and you reject offers of help, support, or care.

You have a hard time identifying your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and life goals.

You are harder on yourself than you would be even on a stranger, and you lack self-compassion and understanding.

You blame yourself almost exclusively, direct your anger inward, or feel guilt or shame about your needs or feelings.

You feel numb, empty, or cut off from your emotions, or you feel unable to manage or express them.

You are easily overwhelmed and give up quickly.(Explains why he gets overwhelmed by his feelings for Anokhi. He is not equipped to deal with those as of now).

You have low self-esteem.(That's why this constant need for validation and attention and even need for being on a pedestal in Anokhi's eyes)

You are extra sensitive to rejection.( that's why that extreme reaction when he felt Anokhi "rejected" him and his behaving like an angry cheated spouse)

• Exactly there is just so much going on inside of Shaurya and he can only show it in anger...again its about someone teaching him the proper coping with each emotions as he has lacked that since his childhood up to his adulthood...now if someone tries to teach him its not late as he can listen n understand sincr he himself wants someone to give him affection and attention he isnt able to get...i feel with that its all about give n take..he has to give her the same love, affection, attention, and support in return he will get the same...let's see what CVs do with his character...😊

You believe you are deeply flawed, and that there’s something about you that is wrong even though you can’t specifically name what it is.

Perfectionism(That explains his Academic records, perfect relationship and even impeccable perfect dressing in suits blazers and jackets)

• That is built in him from childhood he has been told to be perfect its thanks to Tej his badi papa...cause come on we all see him being perfect for expamle remember him saying this roti isnt round like it should be that got on me like dude its food be greatful u eating...😆in a way we can say Shaurya has OCD as he needs everything or even anyone to be a certain way..n if it isnt they go beyond to make sure it is...like they just cant ignore it cause it will bother them the whole time..😆Honestly i have a little bit of OCD myself haha when it comes to things that arent straight it gets me irked like i need to straight it...🤣Anyway not about me but Shaurya haha so simple answer for his perfectionist behavior he has OCD...

Fear of Being Dependent on Others

Independence is a good quality to have. But having a deep-seated fear about depending on anyone for anything, never asking for help or support, is not healthy.

(That's why he hates how Anokhi is affecting him and his growing dependence on her)

• I agree he definitely fears of showing this affection toward anyone cause he knows they might leave him just like his mother left.. that trauma tortures him since no one told him how to cope with it they just ignored that part...which made it difficult for him to be dependent on anyone cause he knows they wont be with him long..and its quite sad cause this stops him from getting close to anyone in end he just says they all the same n his anger mode is on cause that is just one emotion he knows...i feel he wants to say i need u, u r mine but he cant n its too earlier cause she will react like whats wrong with u sir lol...the reason i say this is cause of their library scene, he definitely acted like an angry jealous lover who lost it and said she is a cheating wife in a indirect way lol...😆Which was so wrong since he hasnt opened up to her so of course she doesnt know why he feeling the way he is...i guess we will see how cvs develop on this part of ShaKhi

You feel alone despite being around people who care for you.

When your emotions are walled off, you may not have access to the energy to generate closeness and connection. This can leave your feelings isolated and far away even if you are sitting in a room with others.

(Thats why inspite of having a large extended family Shaurya feels lonely even if people around you love you)

• He definitely is lonely even in being with such a huge family cause this family each person didnt help him cope properly with his feelings..yet they call themselves happy family(ya ok happy not even)..that is why everything from outside its all beautiful until u look inside and find mistakes...that is how Shaurya is his outer appearance is great until u look inside of him n see his flaws...ofcourse he wont show anyone he is alone cause then that would mean he wants to depend on someone or he might show his vulnerabilty side...so bottles all that up so not healthy again shows up in his anger emotion..hopefully Anokhi can feel this gap for him..👍🏼

Relationships are one-sided.

Because CEN makes it difficult to be aware of your own emotions, it becomes difficult to share your thoughts and feelings with others. By not allowing yourself to take up space or contribute to a relationship, it can become more about the other person and less about you.

(That's why he couldn't really love Shagun.)

• I agree he wants really serious about her like maybe he is getting for Anokhi...cause marriage is a huge thing and just calling it off in a snap shows u werent that genuine to her...or devoted like Shagun might have been(cant say much since we didnt really get enough info on her)..relationships are all about 50-50 nowadays atleast i feel n if u cant bring that 50 dont expect i will too..which shaurya doesnt get cause he has been fed he is the ruler🤣everyone else is his ppl...🤣no no u need a wake up call from that and Anokhi will give it to u i hope...😆

You have fewer and less rewarding relationships.

Due to relationships often being one-sided, they are less likely to be fulfilling. The lack of depth and sharing can cause relationships to be limited or short-lived. You can be a great friend to others, one who is always there, but never truly share what you are going through. Without taking chances to be vulnerable, your relationships may never reach their full potential.

Being social is draining.

By giving too much and not taking enough or sharing parts of yourself, a lot of energy is used up. You may not feel energized or filled-up while socializing because of the one-sided nature of interacting. Without taking time to just be yourself, so much energy is spent trying to be the person you think others want you to be.

(That's why he is a loner with no friends and no social life.)

• Its all about someone telling u need to go n be about urself especially in his childhood he needed that.. yet what he got is his father was busy being devdas while devi was busy feeding hater for his mom in his mind...these scars leave u being just alone this way no one will leave its easy for him to deal with...so wrong teaching in so many ways...only way for him to get out of all of this is someone helping him to get out of it..hopefully maybe Anokhi can help him cope with all of his emotions...👍🏼

Myth: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.

Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.

(This explains Shaurya's need for a homemaker and someone who makes him and his child the centre of attention. He wants to protect his future children to the abuse he faced.)

• I agree most abusers are someone within the family...in his case it is badi maa the reason i say that she emotional abused him by feeding him hater toward his mom telling him wrong things..instead she should have given him love, care, & protection this would have helped him cope with each of his emotions..yet this led him to life where he wants someone who doesnt do what happened to him..i dont blame him i feel that way too cause in a way i can relate to him on that...we dont want to repeat history n its normal to feel that but its like u need to be open n share why u want it what is making u feel to go this far..if he doesnt speak no one can understand him which he probably doesnt want either..but he needs that someone to help him cope n deal with his emotions in a right way...

How to deal with the issue and get better?

Emotionally Aware: By tuning into your feelings, and observing your behaviors, you are better able to understand yourself. This, in turn, will help you in how you respond to people around you.

Develop Emotion Skills: As you learn to identify your feelings, you can work towards accepting them, tolerating a range of emotions, manage them, and communicate them with others.

Learn Communication Skills: Once you are aware of your feelings and have the ability to deal with your emotions, letting others know how you feel comes next. You will be able to tell someone that you are hurt. You will be able to ask someone for what you want and need. You will be able to express when you’re angry.

Find a therapist: A therapist can’t undo your childhood or erase mistakes your parents made, but they can provide you with the emotional toolkit your parents didn’t. A good therapist can help you identify your emotions, ask for what you need, learn to trust others, build self-esteem, handle rejection, build self-love, and more

• That is for real life being this is a drama i doubt we can see it...maybe if the show focused on these things then ya i could see them using this for the lead to help cope with himself...but since the CVs havent indicated in that direction cant say if they will show...but developing emotion skills and learning communication skills probably can happen with maybe Anokhi helping him cope through it...👍🏼

🤗Have fun reading my essay🤣

Very Interesting post.

I agree with one of the posts that anger seems to be dominant emotion in Shaurya's life. The more I think about it, the more it feels like Devi encouraged him to feel angry all the time probably because that anger was what created distance between him and his parents and brought him closer to his uncle and aunt. He is incapable of understanding and expressing his emotions and they spill out in the worst way possible. This is not a justification for his manhandling and behavior but it is the underlying reason.

The way to healing and stabilizing him is not easy. I would guess there are only two ways to get there - something big enough has to happen for him to re-evaluate his entire value system, thought process and people around him. He needs to atleast acknowledge the toxicity of Sabherwals. In storyline he has that opportunity if he is able to uncover the fact that the goons kidnapping Anokhi were sent by his family. It should lead him to question their motives and how low they are willing to go. The cheating incident would add to the fact Tej might not be as principled as he appears. From there on there is probably a domino effect as he tries to understand what actually happened with his parents and finds the capability to forgive them.

The other way is love and care of Anokhi chipping at it slowly but that is a long term process and he will constantly go between both the extremes in his behavior.

It seems the producers intend to take the latter approach so this is going to be a painful journey

On a different note Sabherwals seem to a very odd family that seem emotionally stunted across the board. We have Devi who plots and controls but is afraid of Tej. She literally seems to think of Shaurya as her pet project. Every time she fears losing Shaurya, she laments the effort and hard work she put in which is an unusual emotion for someone with motherly affection. Tej appears to be principled but something seems off with him. He understands what his wife is doing but he rarely interferes. We have Shaan who chose his family over his wife but has been absent from his son's life and drowns himself in self pity. Interestingly he loves his wife but has never bothered to defend her to her son or rest of the family almost as if he agrees with his family's assessment of her. Alok is Devi's yes-man but he does not care much for his wife and has no interest in parenting his two errant daughters. We have two daughters who are bully but they seem to have almost no emotional connection to their parents. They idolize their cousin Shaurya but it is unclear to me if they feel any emotional connection to him. Gayatri and her DIL are unhappy and understand everything but they are okay being treated as maids and seem completely dependent on goodwill of Devi/Tej and thier families. When they were getting sent to their parents like kids, they were scared of their family's reaction which was odd to me. We have Gayatri's Son who is absent but again seems to have no deep connection to anyone in the family. Oddly when his wife was getting punished, he made himself unavailable by not picking phone but he did not express his opinion either way. He did seem to be willing to dance in Shaurya's B'day party though even though he had to know it would not sit well with Devi and Tej.

Shaurya is the most loved member of family but he too seems to be bereft of any true connection and emotions within the family. His love for Devi seems to be more grounded in his gratitude and her micro-managing his life. He seems to have an inkling to the lack of deeper connections but he justifies that by saying that Devi and Tej have been holding family together.

In all it feels like a lot of strangers living in same house. Which brings me to the big question, does Shaurya even know what love or affection or having a connection feels like?

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

(Shaan and Astha are good people. They don't and may never realise the emotional damage they have subjected their son to)

i am hoping that shaan and astha realize the extent of damage they've caused , and help shaurya deal with these issues , instead of always shouting at him (Shaan is always screaming and never bothers to slow down and think why shaurya is behaving this way ,and help shaurya realize why he is wrong )

but its ITV and i know i am hoping for way too much , they will probably focus on the love story

Originally posted by: ..Peppermint..

Hey there

Thank you for this very enlightening post.

In the past years, I've spent a lot of time volunteering with small kids and young adults and if there is anything I've learnt to believe in, it's this quote "the scars you can't see are the hardest to heal". It's difficult, at times, to see the hurt that emotional scars cause - it leaves no mark, but it's so deeply entrenched in the consciousness, so much that even those who have no memory of what happened in their childhood suffer latter in life.

Your analysis on Shaurya's behavior is on point and I feel like I understand him a little better👌

Originally posted by: ..KpopIsLife..

🤗Have fun reading my essay🤣

Originally posted by: dramacrazy12

Very Interesting post.

I agree with one of the posts that anger seems to be dominant emotion in Shaurya's life. The more I think about it, the more it feels like Devi encouraged him to feel angry all the time probably because that anger was what created distance between him and his parents and brought him closer to his uncle and aunt. He is incapable of understanding and expressing his emotions and they spill out in the worst way possible. This is not a justification for his manhandling and behavior but it is the underlying reason.

... In storyline he has that opportunity if he is able to uncover the fact that the goons kidnapping Anokhi were sent by his family. It should lead him to question their motives and how low they are willing to go. The cheating incident would add to the fact Tej might not be as principled as he appears. From there on there is probably a domino effect as he tries to understand what actually happened with his parents and finds the capability to forgive them.

The other way is love and care of Anokhi chipping at it slowly but that is a long term process and he will constantly go between both the extremes in his behavior.

It seems the producers intend to take the latter approach so this is going to be a painful journey

On a different note Sabherwals seem to a very odd family that seem emotionally stunted across the board. We have Devi who plots and controls but is afraid of Tej. She literally seems to think of Shaurya as her pet project. Every time she fears losing Shaurya, she laments the effort and hard work she put in which is an unusual emotion for someone with motherly affection. Tej appears to be principled but something seems off with him. He understands what his wife is doing but he rarely interferes. We have Shaan who chose his family over his wife but has been absent from his son's life and drowns himself in self pity. Interestingly he loves his wife but has never bothered to defend her to her son or rest of the family almost as if he agrees with his family's assessment of her. Alok is Devi's yes-man but he does not care much for his wife and has no interest in parenting his two errant daughters. We have two daughters who are bully but they seem to have almost no emotional connection to their parents. They idolize their cousin Shaurya but it is unclear to me if they feel any emotional connection to him. Gayatri and her DIL are unhappy and understand everything but they are okay being treated as maids and seem completely dependent on goodwill of Devi/Tej and thier families. When they were getting sent to their parents like kids, they were scared of their family's reaction which was odd to me. We have Gayatri's Son who is absent but again seems to have no deep connection to anyone in the family. Oddly when his wife was getting punished, he made himself unavailable by not picking phone but he did not express his opinion either way. He did seem to be willing to dance in Shaurya's B'day party though even though he had to know it would not sit well with Devi and Tej.

Shaurya is the most loved member of family but he too seems to be bereft of any true connection and emotions within the family. His love for Devi seems to be more grounded in his gratitude and her micro-managing his life. He seems to have an inkling to the lack of deeper connections but he justifies that by saying that Devi and Tej have been holding family together.

In all it feels like a lot of strangers living in same house. Which brings me to the big question, does Shaurya even know what love or affection or having a connection feels like?

Originally posted by: acquired_taste

i am hoping that shaan and astha realize the extent of damage they've caused , and help shaurya deal with these issues , instead of always shouting at him (Shaan is always screaming and never bothers to slow down and think why shaurya is behaving this way ,and help shaurya realize why he is wrong )

but its ITV and i know i am hoping for way too much , they will probably focus on the love story

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

No I am an Orthodontist. During our PG we are taught about theories of child psychology and we deal with lots of Pedo and young adults and we are taught about behavior management say if a child is physically handicapped with a syndrome like Downs or may be Cleft patients. Also we are to deal with patient according to their nature like if a patients parent is over bearing and dominant we keep them out of clinical area and the child is nervous around them. Positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement to get them to cooperate during treatment etc etc.

@ Bold

🙌🙌🙌

Belong to the same field but another branch though

I was like have we met ? Do we know each other ?😆
You just put down what was going thru my thoughts 😳

Fantastic write up 👍🏼

So very impressed🤗

Keep up the good work & God bless you dear 🤗

Originally posted by: brat2008

@ Bold

🙌🙌🙌

Belong to the same field but another branch though

I was like have we met ? Do we know each other ?😆
You just put down what was going thru my thoughts 😳

Fantastic write up 👍🏼

So very impressed🤗

Keep up the good work & God bless you dear 🤗