Avan, Aval Adhu 301
“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.” Dean Koontz, The Darkest Evening of the Year
Rasaathi Ammal raised her head and sat up and Ravi, seeing the mournful look on her face, ' I am okay, mother. Everything is going to be okay hereafter. So, stop looking so sad. It breaks my heart to see you like this.'
' I am sorry, Ravi. It's just that you are conscious and have come back to us from the coma..... But'.
' But what mother?'
' An old man. I mean a really old man appeared out of nowhere like he was an angel sent by god to protect you. He was the one who saw your clenched fingers and told us that you had used some ancient varmakalai mudra to lock yourself and to stop the poison from spreading further from where you were stabbed.'
' Where is this gentleman right now? Please, amma, take me to him. I have to meet him and thank him personally for saving my life.'
Rasaathi Ammal smiled, ' It was not the old man who saved you from certain death. But, Kandhan, Pottu's father who saved you from certain death.'
Ravi's face grew grim with anger and his eyes cloaked themselves in confusion and pain. He looked at his mother, ' Murugan tries to kill me and Kandhan saves me. Paliyan vs Paliyan and the God who all of us worship becomes both my Yama and Shiva.'
Gently holding his mother's shoulder, Ravi requested her to go bring the old man and also bring Kandhan so that he could thank them both for saving his life.
' Why the old man, Ravi? I am sorry but nothing turned out the way he said it would. He spoke about your fingers and Sanjeevani mudra and spun a tall tale that included the girl from your past making a sudden appearance to save you. But, where is she? Nowhere.'
Taking both his hands, she stared at his fingers and mumbled, ' I feel so stupid and silly for believing that man and honestly, I don't think he is 104 years old like he claims to be and I am sure that he was a story writer when he was younger and probably a bad one at that.'
Ravi tried to muster a smile but was unable to fake one. Instead, he looked tiredly at his mother. Rasaathi Ammal knew what that look meant and getting up she looked at him and complained loudly but with tact and poise.
' You should be resting rather than talking and straining yourself ' and then suddenly remembering something, ' I wonder where that doctor ran off to, leaving you all alone and unattended. I requested her to stay by your side until I returned. But she was nowhere to be seen when I came back into the ICU.'
' pff! Well, I guess being a doctor she had some other work more important than my son to attend to.'
' Amma ', hearing her son calling her, Rasaathi ammal looked at her son.
' Please, ask Gayatri to come and meet me right away. I need to talk to her. Also, please ask Partha and Daksha to come and meet me, but after a few minutes. They must have been traumatized seeing me hurt and unconscious.'
' They were, Ravi and I am sure once they get the news they will rush back to Madurai immediately.'
Ravi absorbed the news and smiled, ' They have gone back to Kodai, I guess. To pack some clothes and other stuff that they will need when they are here with me and also to delegate someone to watch over Whispering Rocks.'
Rasaathi Ammal nodded ' That too but only after Guna is finished with them.'
' Guna ' Ravi said pleasantly surprised and his eyes full of pride, ' My boy will do a great job ' then his eyes lost their luster as he said, ' Then again that will lead to a lot of complications, and heartaches for all of us.'
' We are aware of that, Ravi. But sometimes we need to let the law do its duty.'
Mother and son stared at each other sadly. For both knew the ramifications if the law ran its course.
Ravi Kumar shook his head, ' Enough damage has been done. Blood has been spilled and people have lost their lives.'
His face suddenly appeared as if it had turned into stone and with eyes glittering like diamonds, ' I will take care of it, Amma. But, please, I need to speak to Gayatri. Find her for me. Poor thing, knowing her, she must be more traumatized than all of us.'
' Yes, son. She was, and the poor soul fainted at one point in time.'
' Why did you use the word " was " and why are you talking about her in the past tense? What is going on, Amma? Is Gayatri hurt?'
' No, Ravi. She is not physically hurt. But her hurt and her pain were so great that she went away unable to see you in the condition you were in.'
Ravi's eyes filled with sorrow and regret and he mumbled angrily, ' Stupid girl. Stupid woman. She keeps blaming herself for everything that happens around her.'
The anger in his eyes vanished suddenly and then as if remembering something he hurriedly looked at his mother, ' Maybe it is for the good and maybe it will all turn out okay in the end.'
Rasaathi Ammal sighed, ' This feels like the end, Ravi. Gayatri has flown away and here you are, awake and fully conscious. But the one who is in your heart and who was supposedly supposed to bring you back never showed up. So, here you are. Back to square one and with a broken heart.'
Ravi stared at the door and the empty space that his mother had left behind.
He touched his lips and ran his tongue on them and felt his heart flutter in fear and pain.
' Madhu, you are here. I know it because I know the taste and scent of you. My heart feels better and stronger than before for it senses your presence.'
Placing his right hand on his chest, ' But Madhu, 25 years have flown by. You are a married woman now, Jaanu. You belong to someone else. I, meanwhile have given away my heart to a woman who needs it along with my promise to love her and protect her as long as there is life in me.'
He banged the bed with his clenched fists and swore, ' This is not square one but square hell multiplied by a billion times.'
Closing his eyes, he filled his mind with the image of Lord Muruga and prayed, ' God, I am not worried about my heart or my life. But, I am worried about Madhu and Gayatri and yes about Meenakshi too. Help me, Lord. I am lost. More lost than ever.'
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