From & To Sathish #5 - Page 114

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Avan, Aval Adhu 389

Brahma Ganesan knew his master as well as the people closest to him. Maybe Amma and a few of his best friends knew him better and then again that was saying a lot for in his opinion, even clams and other shelled creatures living in the deep sea opened themselves more than master had ever done. But in all of the seventeen years spent growing up with him, if there was one thing that he had never seen master do or exhibit, it was excitement and joy, and both in equal parts.

Ganesan smiled and in his head, sent up a prayer of thanks to their God, Lord Muruga, ' Saami, please, let him remain this way always. I beg of you. Here is this man who has sacrificed everything for the sake of his town and its students and only now through your grace, he has finally found happiness. Look at him, God, see for yourself. See our master and feel his excitement and joy. Isn't it beautiful? I know that you are a busy man and that you must be overburdened with so many other prayers seeking your help. But, it is overdue and has been overdue for a long time now. I beg of you, please unite them and protect them and watch over them.'

Smiling to himself, ' In return, I will take on all of my master's pain and sufferings that he might have to endure in this life and in all of his other lives. Promise. So, transfer all of them to me.'

' Ganesa, a penny for your thoughts for it is obvious from your facial expression that you are in some kind of deep thought, and knowing you well that usually means that you are praying.'

Brahma Ganesan smiled and protested loudly, ' No master. I mean yes master. I was praying to God and seeking his help in getting out of this traffic jam. Nothing else.'

Pointing to the vehicles ahead, ' Master, the place we need to be is just a few km away and yet it looks like it is going to take another ten or more minutes.'

Ravi patted his shoulder and said, ' No problem unless you need to be somewhere else, Ganesa.'

' Aiyo master. I have nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. My place is next to you and around you.'

Madhu stood before the mirror and clucking her tongue said loudly, ' He is taking you home for the very first time and you are dressed like a man in a pant and shirt. It won't do.'

She opened her suitcase and picked up the only saree that she had packed for the trip and placing it on her body stared into the mirror and whispered, ' Green and that too, this saree. Of the thousands of sarees in your collection, you go and pick this ten-year-old saree and that too which was a gift from Premji.'

She kissed the saree and closed her eyes and spoke to her dead husband, ' Prem, it is coming your true. Your wishes and prayers are coming true.'

Flashback to when Prem was alive but fighting for every second of life with every breath that he managed to take

Madhu had just come returned from work and she saw Mr. Gupta leaving her husband Prem's room and asked him when he had arrived.

' Guptaji, I thought I saw you at work just a couple of hours ago. But you are here. We could have driven home together. Anything important?'

' Nothing, Madhuji. Prem wanted to see me and just chat with me. That's it. I will get going now. Bye.'

' Okay,' she smiled and wondering what was going on went into their bedroom and her eyes immediately caught sight of the parcel that lay on Prem's chest and stood staring at it.

He tapped the parcel and said, ' Madhu, I don't have the energy to lift it. Please, take it for it is a gift that I had Gupta purchase for you.'

Madhu brushed his lips with hers and sitting next to him said, ' Premji, why do you do all this? Why tire yourself and worry about all these petty things? Your health is my gift and that is more than enough for me.'

Smiling painfully, he replied, ' Darling, your every smile and your every moment of happiness is all that I have left now. I want to see as much as I can see of your happiness in these last moments of mine.'

Tapping the box, he whispered, ' Please accept this gift and open it.'

She opened the gift and taking the green saree out looked at him, ' Green? Why green? I hardly wear green, baby.'

Prem smiled, ' I checked and found that Green is the color of the Goddess of Madurai the place to where you will return someday and when you do so and when you meet him, please wear this gift and start your life anew with love and joy and remember, I will wish you both well and pray for you both where I might be.'

She kissed the saree and with eyes full of tears, ' How did you know? I didn't but you did. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for your love and your wishes.'

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“Nothing ever dies

it only changes

into something else

like old songs

that blow gently

into new ears

to find new meanings - Nalini Priyadarshni

My extra-marital affairs with books began a long time ago. I use the word extra-marital for a specific reason and that reason is that from birth I was married off against my wishes and bound to a destiny chosen by .................. Okay. God. For want of a better word, God it shall be. I had no choice as to who I was going to be born to and who I was going to be born with. So, Marriage here means the pact I had, have with God and its purpose for me from my birth, and breaking that covenant with God and the fate that he has set for me is akin to breaking the sanctity of marriage and hence the use of the word " Extra-marital " in the first sentence.

Each time I pick up a book I feel a quickening in my senses and in the pace of my heart and wonder if that's how little Alice felt as she went tumbling down and down the Rabbit hole. Each and every book becomes a gateway, a door to a different dimension filled with different views, thoughts, and emotions of another mind. I knew from the very beginning back when I was seven or eight years old that books were an amusement park in disguise filled with different rides.

In the beginning, reading books was like dipping my feet into the water and then slowly slipping into the scary dark depths of a swimming pool and finding that the water came up only to my knees. Time passed by and the deep became really deep and soon I was swimming inside the world of books holding my breath like underwater divers do.

But now with age, the doors, the gateways that once transported me to Ayodhya, Kurukshetra, The Shire, and other Wonderlands appear to have changed. The doors that were meant to open and shut and open again are spinning around.

The doors have become Revolving doors and what I am is now slowly tumbling down and back to what I was.

I am finding great joy and peace in removing all the sheaths that books blessed me with and am slowly in the process of ripping away from my brain the Kavachas and Kundalas that Books and knowledge blessed me with.

I am slowly unlearning all that I learned and am slowly realizing that Knowledge somewhere has made me judgemental and critical of everything. Even myself.

I am going to unlearn, unmask and undress all that I learned as an adult and return to my childhood for I ache to see the world with my innocent eyes once again.

I want to see the morning sun and feel as if I am seeing it for the first time in my life and feel that every day for the rest of the days of my life.

Several decades ago, back in seventh or eighth std and in Krishnaswamy school, I was in the library with my head buried between the pages of the classic novel " Jane Eyre " and then something happened.

I was skimming through the book finding scraps of shallow meanings in the story and just as I was about to speed read and turn the page, I stopped and read the lines again and again and again and I was never the same again.

Chapter 35 Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

"What have you heard? What do you see?" asked St. John. I saw nothing, but I heard a voice somewhere cry —

"Jane! Jane! Jane!" — nothing more.

"O God! What is it?" I gasped.

I might have said, "Where is it?" for it did not seem in the room — nor in the house — nor in the garden; it did not come out of the air — nor from under the earth — nor from overhead. I had heard it — where, or whence, forever impossible to know! And it was the voice of a human being — a known, loved, well-remembered voice — that of Edward Fairfax Rochester; and it spoke in pain and woe, wildly, eerily, urgently.

"I am coming!" I cried. "Wait for me! Oh, I will come!" I flew to the door and looked into the passage: it was dark. I ran out into the garden: it was void.

"Where are you?" I exclaimed.

The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly back — "Where are you?" I listened. The wind sighed low in the first: all was moorland loneliness and midnight hush.

"Down superstition!" I commented as that spectre rose up black by the black yew at the gate. "This is not thy deception, nor thy witchcraft: it is the work of nature. She was roused, and did — no miracle — but her best."

I too have heard my name being called and for a long time I searched for the person calling out to me in a voice filled with anxiety and then I found the person.

It was me calling to myself. It was I, satish calling out to myself and I was calling to say, " Learn, but unlearn. Read, but let go. Gather Knowledge but know that all you learn, read, and gather is for nothing. For life is nothing but a narrow piece of ledge and what lies on either side is your choice. '

Knowledge + know that you are on a ledge.

“The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.” ― Voltaire

Avan, Aval Adhu 390

Madhu stood looking at herself after having worn the green saree that her late husband Prem had gifted her a few months before he had passed away. 'Are you sure that you want to do this? ' she asked herself and seeing something shine near her left ear, stepped closer and caught sight of the few white hairs that had managed to wriggle free of her curly black hair.

Touching it, she smiled wistfully and thought, ' Have you escaped the clutches of your black brothers and sisters just to remind me that I am not young anymore? You don't have to for I know that I am not young anymore and that I will never be that Madhu for Ravi again.'

Slowly tucking the strands of white hair into their black brethren, Madhu wondered if she should use a little mascara to hide them and whispered loudly, ' No. No hiding for there is nothing to hide anymore. Not with Ravi.'

Then realizing that she had to inform Spartan about Ravi's arrival any moment, she stepped out of her room and then slowly walked towards the small reception area and saw it was empty. Nearly empty but for a woman who stood with her back to her and with her eyes glued to the road.

Sensing her arrival, she turned and wearing a beautiful smile on her dusky face, stepped towards Madhu and stopped, seeing the hotel owner and Kutty came down the stairs.

Madhu saw a flicker of anxiety cross the woman's face like a sudden flash of lightning seeing the man and the little boy and then she relaxed and moved towards her but was too late for the hotel owner in a loud voice said, ' Mrs. Premnath, this woman coming and that man going away. Your friend man. Big man. Strong man.'

The woman turned and looked at the owner and that was all that was needed for Shivaraman instantly fell silent.

' Good morning, Mrs. Prem. I am Malar.'

Madhu took her hand and shaking it said, ' Nice meeting you ' and looked at Malar, ' It's obvious that you know me but you have me at a loss for I don't know who you are.....'

' It is Mrs. Malar.'

' Oh! Just Malar is it?'

' Yes. Just plain and simple Malar.'

Madhurima looked into Malar's eyes and thought, ' You lie for my heart tells me that there is nothing plain or simple about you, lady ' and, she cast her eyes in search of her friend, and the stranger asked, ' Ma'am, are you searching for Spartan?'

Momentarily nonplussed, Madhu swiftly made the connections and nodded with a smile, ' I guess I am not anymore for you must be Spartan's replacement?'

Malar watched Madhu turn her face away to hide the obvious discomfiture that she was feeling and in an assuring voice told her, ' Ma'am, this is just temporary and he will be back in a few hours.'

Madhu looked at Malar, ' I am sorry I meant no offense by revealing the sudden confusion and uneasiness that I felt which I am sure that you saw for men and women in your line are trained to see everything.'

She struggled for a few brief moments to search and find the right words to say and express her feelings and finding them said, ' Mrs. Malar, Spartan is a very kind gentleman and a good friend. But more than that it is this incredible calmness and strength that his aura exudes that is so comforting and peaceful.'

Smiling, she waved her right hand away and continued, ' I know it will sound silly but Mr.Spartan looks like the real deal and makes me wonder if one of his ancestors was really aGreek from Sparta and was one of those brave few who fought valiantly against the mighty empire of Persia led by Xerxes.'

Malar smiled and thought to herself as her memories traveled back 800 years to the time when Azhagan led the Pandyas into battle against the mighty Chola empire and whispered politely ' I wouldn't know ma'am. I just work with him.'

Hearing the sound of an autorickshaw, all of them turned and looked outside and in the bright light of the late morning sun, Madhu's eyes glimpsed her own private star, sun get out of the vehicle and look past all of them and everything and right into her eyes and right into her soul.

Lexophilia although not in the dictionary, it is reported that "Lexophile" describes a person who loves sentences such as, "You can tune a piano , but you can't tuna fish," and "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. This year's submissions:

◾I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

◾England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

◾Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

◾I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

◾A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

◾I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

◾A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

◾A will is a dead giveaway.

◾Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

◾A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

◾The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

◾He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

◾When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

◾Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

◾I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

◾Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

◾When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

◾When chemists die, they barium.

◾I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

◾I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

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