*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDG9nPTXiYE

Ithuvum kadanthu pogum tamil version


http://intelligenttree.blogspot.in/2007/10/poem-by-theodre-tilton-this-too-shall.html



This Too Shall Pass Away

Once in Persia reigned a King,
Who upon his signet ring
Graved a maxim true and wise,
Which, if held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance,
Fit for every change and chance.
Solemn words, and these are they;
"Even this shall pass away."

Trains of camels through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarcand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to match with these;
But he counted not his gain,
Treasures of mine or main;
"What is wealth?" the king would say;
"Even this shall pass away."

Mid the revels of his court,
At the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests,
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine;
Cried, 'O loving friends of mine;
Pleasures come, but not to stay;
"Even this shall pass away"

Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed,
Softly to his soul he said:
Though no bridegroom ever passed;
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay-
"Even this shall pass away"

Fighting on a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield;
Soldiers, with a loud lament,
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning from his tortured side,
"Pain is hard to bear," he cried;
"But with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.

Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his statue carved in stone.
Then the king, disguised, unknown,
Stood before his sculptured name,
Musing meekly: "What is fame?"
Fame is but a slow decay;

Even this shall pass away.

Struck with palsy, sore and old,
Waiting at the Gates of Gold,
Said he with his dying breath,
"Life is done, but what is death?"
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sun beam on his ring,
"Even this shall pass away."

Jannal oram 175


Thankfully the ride to the Govt general hospital was short and took only twenty minutes.Jeeva after a few minutes if silence looked at Raman ' what do you think happened ram? For the suja i know is not and would never,ever go to this extreme step?'

Raman weighed his every word carefully and spoke ' Suja here and Mohan in an accident.It obviously looks like they both must have had a terrible fight.But the question remains what they fought over?'

Hugging her tightly ' Honestly jeeva,i am as lost as you and i doubt if we will ever know.Maybe once mohan gets better,then we might have some answers.'

There was one constable and also a male nurse and he spoke ' Sir,madam.I am sorry for speaking out of turn but i have seen many youngsters go away like this.'

He looked to be about late 40's and what he said shocked both raman and jeeva ' sir,madam,About 800,000 people commit suicide worldwide every year,of these 135,000 are residents of India,nation with 17.5% of world population. Between 1987 and 2007, the suicide rate increased from 7.9 to 10.3 per 100,000,with higher suicide rates in southern and eastern states of India.In 2012, Tamil Nadu (12.5% of all suicides), Maharashtra (11.9%) and West Bengal (11.0%) had the highest proportion of suicides.'

Jeeva looked open mouthed with shock at the man and the police constable slowly snuck in into the conversation by asking raman ' sir,Kavita madam unga family frienda?' and Raman nodded,too tired to ask him why he wanted to know.

' Sir,what kavita madam did was correct sir? I support her views totally and that SI Malini deserved that slap and also the warnings.There have been too many complaints about her but nothing is done sir.'

The police constable tiredly,red eyed,looked kindly at jeeva ' madam,do you know that the suicide rate among police officers is nearly the highest in Tamil Nadu.One of our station constables committed suicide last year and nothing was done about it and it did not even appear in the papers or anywhere.'

Jeeva not knowing how to react,with a feeble voice ' But,why? you are police officers.'

The constable ' many reasons madam.I am not apologising for SI Malini but honestly i have known her for about five years now and she was okay in the beginning but only from the past few years her attitude to life and to the public has changed and changed drastically.She has not been promoted.Her husband divorced her and so many other family problems and her son being a drug addict is one of the biggest reasons for her anger and bad manners.'

The van pulled into the rear of the Govt Hospital and AC Damodaran was already waiting there for them and all of them stood watching suja's body taken away for the post mortem.

Then raman turned in the direction from where his name was called and all of them saw the tall figure of former DGP Devarajan walking towards them and AC Damodaran without even realising saluted him and both shook hands.

He looked at Raman ' how do you know dgp sir?' and raman smiling sadly ' he is my Judo sensei.'

Devarajan looked at jeeva and jeeva looked at him and he tenderly hugged her ' I am sorry jeeva.I am very sorry for you loss.'

Raman 's mobile rang and it was muthu from the court and he hurriedly spoke ' Muthu,i cannot talk now for i am very busy right now.'

Muthu loudly ' Raman sir,sorry sir,but you having meeting with Judge Sunil thakur and he finishing last case soon.I come with coffee but you not there in chamber.'

Raman cursed silently ' okay muthu.Thanks.'

He looked at Jeeva ' i have to leave you for an hour or so and return to the high court regarding a case that i am handling.'

Looking at devarajan ' jeeva,sir will be here with you until i come back.Please forgive me for leaving so suddenly.'

Turning to Devarajan 'sir,it is this new judge sunil thakur and all i can say is' Badass' and that is actually very mildly put.'

' No problem Raman,finish up and come back and i will be here with Jeeva' and then he gave him his car keys to his Honda city car and raman left in a hurry,heading towards the high court,which was just about three kms away from the hospital.'

Jannal oram 176

Just as raman was driving away to the High court in Devarajan's car,Suja's body was being wheeled into the room that adjoined the Pathology Dept and awaited her visitors.

Dr.Surendar,head of the Pathology dept had been summoned by the dean who had requested that the postmortem be done as quickly as possible and the body handed over to the family.

The dean,in a very serious tone ' This matter involves pretty important people and when i mean important i also mean very powerful and connected people.'

Dr.surendar ' sir,what do you want me to do then,do the postmortem or not?'

The Dean ' don't be a stickler for rules and regulations.Do your job but be delicate and please none of your grand performances in this case please.Treat as a personal favor that you are doing for me.Okay surendar.'

Dr.Surendar,head of the pathology dept said ok and left the dean's office and then in the corridor leading up to his dept saw two men standing there and one was the familiar but still scary figure of former DGP Devarajan and another police officer,who looked familiar but he could not place.

Surendar shook hands with devarajan ' sir,what brings you here to my realm which i share with the dead?'

Devarajan ' a dead person doctor and who is very dear to me.By the way this is AC Damodaran,crime division and he too is here for the same reason.'

Dr.Surendar ' wait,don't tell me the person is named sujatha.'

Seeing both men nod,Dr.Surendar astonished ' who is this lady? my god leave alone the dean,now you have the cream of the police dept here at her beck and call.'

Looking at devarajan and AC Damodaran ' Gentlemen,if you can kindly wait in my office then i will see to the lady and finish up with her as quickly as possible.'

Seeing all three of them talking,Jeeva who had wandered around slowly came up and joined the group and Devarajan in a sad voice ' Doctor,this is suja's elder sister jeeva.'

Jeeva didn't have to be told who the doctor in front of her was for the whole corridor belonged to the realm of the dead and the Pathology dept.

Surendar looked at jeeva ' ma'am,please accept my condolences.I am so sorry for you loss.'

Jeeva wiping away her tears that had now begun to bloom and flow,looked beseechingly at Dr.Surendar ' sir,she is like a child to me and the daughter that i will never have.Please don't hurt her too much for she is a very delicate person,very kind and caring.Please take good care of her.'

Dr.surendar ' ma'am,i promise you that i will take good care of her.Now,if you follow me,i will show you to my cabin where you can wait while i tend to your sister.'

Leaving them in his cabin,Dr.surendar slowly made his way into the room where he would examine suja's dead body.


Raman knew it was too late to run to his chambers to get his coat and files regarding his client and throwing caution to the wind,ran quickly towards Judge sunil thakur's courtroom and to his surprise saw muthu standing there with his coat and files and thanking him hurriedly entered the courtroom.

The judge and prosecutor and everyone looked at him in surprise and Raman would have been surprised himself for he was quite the sight.

Buttons had come loose,hair out of place,eyes red and still wet and the same wetness reflected as dark patches where jeeva,mani and kamakshis tears had mingled with that of his and had dried sadly on his milk white shirt.

Judge sunil thakur looked at raman ' please come closer Mr.raman' and raman went close,as close as the wooden barrier would allow him and he quickly apologised for being a few minutes late.

Judge sunil thakur ' accepted ' and then in a soft decibel that only raman could hear ' what happened raman? why are your eyes reddish and you look like a person who has come through a storm.'

Raman stood with his head bent and was lost for words and then slowly looked up ' i am sorry for my appearance sir for i have not had the opportunity to wash my face or look into the mirror for those were the last things on my mind.'

Judge sunil thakur waited and raman ' i just lost someone very dear to me and she was very young.'

The judge ' i am so sorry mr.raman.Was she not doing well?'

Raman ' not doing well.i guess that is pretty apt for one who has taken her own life.'

Judge sunil thakur leaned back in shock for he was a father to two daughters and both were in college.

' okay,let us get on with this matter before us and that is contempt of court charges leveled against Mr.Anand.'

Looking angrily at the pathetic and shell shocked client of raman's ' sir,i am going to let you go with a warning .But,your rude behavior will go on record and the time spent in this court jail too will go on record.
I hope to see you on your best behavior the next time you are here before me.'

Looking at his clerk,he commanded ' see that the papers are signed and that he is released.'

He stood and humbly folded his hands to the few people who were in the courtroom and then turning to the large picture of Mahatma gandhi,bent his head in respect and left quietly.

It took a further twenty minutes for Raman to see of his client Anand who mutely nodded and left a much changed man.

Raman went to his chambers and locking it began to quickly walk towards the parking lot and then halted seeing muthu there in the corridor.

' Muthu,i don't have time to explain things but something terrible has happened.'

Muthu all worried ' sir,jeevamma okay ya.Your parents okay no.'

Raman ' No muthu,none of us are okay an i doubt if we will be okay for a long time to come.'

Muthu anxiously ' sir,what problem sir? I help sir.Please tell me sir.'

Raman ' Thank you muthu.I guess your spirit and kindness could have probably helped in any other situation.But not in this one.Jeeva's sister passed away in the afternoon.'

Leaving muthu shocked and sad,Raman drove back to the Govt general hospital.

In the postmortem room,five of his interns waited for him and he greeted them all ' welcome students but this is not going to be a regular postmortem,i can promise you that.'

Taking the file given by the staff member ' the body belongs to a lady called sujatha,aged 24 and who died earlier today by hanging herself.'

Three of the interns reacted and one intern,a young lady urgently removed the sheet that covered suja and recoiled in shock 'Omg,not suja.'

Dr.Surendar looked at his intern Lakshmi ' Lakshmi,do you know this lady here ?'

lakshmi ' yes sir.In fact,i last saw her today morning on the train in which we all came back from Villupuram from out medical camp that was organised by the Govt.'

Stepping closer to suja,she looked up at her chief ' sir.she too is from our fraternity and is doing her internship in Stanley medical college.'

Dr.surendar sadly ' crap,one of our own and one so young.'

Jannal oram 177

Dr.surendar looked at his interns and asked dr.lakshmi ' Okay students.Tell me what do we do now with sujatha here?'

All of them looked at each other and only Dr.lakshmi summoned courage to speak her mind' sir,god only know why suja committed suicide.But,it is my humble opinion that she has suffered enough and should not suffer more by having to be cut up and all through a post mortem.'

Dr.Surendar looked at Lakshmi ' should i remind you all that you are doctors and that when it comes to our work we should put aside our emotions and feelings.And it does not matter who the patient is?'

They all stood around suja who actually looked like she was fast asleep instead of being dead.

Dr.surendar looked at all of them ' okay,this will be one of those exceptions i guess.But first,let me go have a word with her sister and then we will do what needs to be done.'

He quickly marched out and walked into his cabin and looked at jeeva ' Ma'am,i know this question will be a bit uncouth and harsh but i mean well when i ask it.How do you send off your dead? by burial or cremation?'

Jeeva ' we cremate doctor.'

AC Damodaran looked at dr.surendar ' Doctor,why do you ask this? ' and surendar ' well it is obvious that suja died by hanging herself and i guess there is no need for any in depth postmortem procedure.Since,she is going to be cremated,i have no fears about any future unforseen inquest where she might be dug up and then it will be known that i did not do the postmortem and land myself in deep and very boiling water.'

Jeeva got up and grabbing surendars arm,thanked him ' i am so grateful doctor.I thank you on behalf of my whole family.'


One will never know why dr.surendar forgot to mention dr.lakshmi and the other interns who had been to the same medical camp as suja and mohan.that for later.

Dr.surendar looked at jeeva ' it is okay ma'am.Death is suffering enough for the dead and also for us the living.I will just get her ready and will hand over her in an hours time.'

After he had left.AC Damodaran looked at all three of them ' i guess it is time i left too for i have to go and meet mohans parents and inform them about their sons accident and see if i can find anything that might help me to find the reason for suja's suicide.'

Shaking his head,he looked sadly at all of them ' from what the traffic inspector told me,there is not much chance for mohan and i will only find out more when i go to the hospital.'

Jeeva began to cry ' sir,from the little i have seen of mohan,he came across as a very soft spoken and kind soul.Honestly,if they did have a fight,then i am sure my little sister must have started it off for she can unleash hell when provoked even slightly.Please be gentle with mohan's parents sir for i know now what it means to lose a loved one and i cannot begin to imagine what or how they will react to this news about their son's accident.'

AC Damodaran ' miss jeeva,you really are a kind person for be it someone else they would have been raging and ranting and blaming someone.But,even with in these moments of immense loss,you are showing what a great person you are.'

He shook hands with Devarajan and raman and left to Anna nagar to meet mohan's parents.

Getting into his police vehicle,he called traffic inspector gokul ' Gokul,this is AC Damodaran.Message me mohan's address and meet me there right now.I am just leaving the hospital and should be there in 20 minutes.'

He called the constables and asked them to be there when the body was being handed over and asked them to report back to him in the station.

Dr.surendar looked at lakshmi and the other interns ' okay,she is going to be cremated.So just do the basic body checks,just to be on the safer side.take some blood samples and make the body appear as if a post mortem has been done.Finish it fast for then the family might have a chance to finish the cremation today itself.'

Looking at all of them ' i have a few things to take care of and call me after you are done.'

Dr.lakshmi slowly removed the sheet that covered the dead suja who was covered by a beautiful orange saree and sadly whispered ' Rest in peace suja.I hope and pray that you find more peace and happiness where ever you are and to the place where god has taken you to.'

Jannal oram 178


Lakshmi was a good intern and would go on to become a great doctor for her eyes did not miss anything.She along with the others scanned the body for any visible bruises but only the red bruising screamed loudly from the neck region of suja's dead body.

Since pathology involves forensic sciences,all of them knew damn well what to do. Two of them checked suja's finger nails and only found traces of fabric of the saree with which she had hung herself to death.

Lakshmi knew that it was a clear case of suicide and looked at the two other interns who were males and said something that although was against protocol was understood by them both.

She looked at them both ' guys,this is a person who i knew pretty well over the past one month and we kind of bonded very well.I know this sounds weird but yet i request you both to leave while i undress her and prepare her for being handed over and that means wrapping her in bandages and making it look like we have conducted a post mortem on her body.'

Both interns,Kannan and preetham were very fond of their colleague lakshmi and agreed but kannan looked at her ' lakshmi,how are you going to manage on your own?'

Lakshmi smiled ' not on my own kannan for you will go and send dharini here.She must be in the canteen drowning in pepsi and her romance novels.Better still,i will call her.'

Using her mobile,she called her fellow intern dharini who agreed and rushed to the pathology dept and entered the room while kannan and preetham left.

She said hi to lakshmi and then took a look at who was on the table ' Oh no,lux,isn't this your friend suja who was with you in the medical camp all this while and whose photos you kept sending everyday.'

Lakshmi ' Yes,dharini.The one and the same and here she is on our table,dead and gone and i saw her just today morning and hugged her and wished her well.'

Dharini looked round ' where is the chief and what are we both doing her alone with this body?'

Lakshmi quickly explained the situation to dharini ' babe,this is the least i can do for this really sweet thing.so,please stop talking and help me get the body ready.'

Slowly,methodically they undressed suja and began to wrap her up in bandages when lakshmi spotted something strange near sujas neck region.

She called dharini and both took turns examining the region and found a bit of bruising that looked about a day or two old and definitely not done by the hanging.

Dharini whistled ' lakshmi,i am not saying anything and i will do as you order.'

' Dharini,stop being so dramatic.It is too late now for she is already gone.If we report this to the chief,we both know what he will do and that means total examination and the body being cut open.No,forget it.It is on me and i will take the blame if it comes to that.'

Taking her phone out,she took many close up pics of suja's neck region and then both quickly warapped her up and using some chemicals,discolored the bandage wrappings here and there to make it look as if a postmortem was really done.

Lakshmi looked at dharini ' babe,go call the guys in while i go get the chief and inform him that the body has been prepared for being handed over to the family.'

Then she gripped her fellow interns hands firmly ' babe,i repeat myself.Not one word of this to anybody.Promise.'

Dharini blew a kiss ' cool lux.Mum is the word.Now go do your thing while i chase the guys in.'

Lakshmi knew who would be waiting for suja's body and she was not wrong when she came out of the postmortem room and walked to the end of the corridor and towards their chief's cabin for there outside it stood suja's elder sister jeeva being held and comforted by a tall,lean man.

In the one month,they all had been in the medical camp,lakshmi knew everything about suja and mohan and about suja's family,particularly jeeva,her elder sister who she thought of as a goddess who had been sent to care for her and protect her from life.

Lakshmi felt a pang of sadness and with tears in her eyes she walked towards jeeva,sujas elder sister and when she neared her and the man who was obviously very close to her,she called her name ' Jeeva,Jeeva.'

Both Jeeva and Raman turned and lakshmi took in both of them and took in raman's face and instantly recognised him for she and her elder brother had seen him in the video a thousand times.

In the video,Raman had moved like lightning and had launched a deadly and fearless attack on the thugs who had held her brother and the other staff members in landmark book store,citi center as hostages.

And here was the very hero in front of her,in flesh and blood crying,broken and her heart broke too for a hero is not meant to cry but to save the others from pain and suffering.

Her brother had been the manager of Landmark book store in citi center mall and not a day went by when he did not thank this man who stood before her and they did not not know who he was or what his name was.

Now the man wiped his tears and smiled sadly ' hi,i am Raman and this is jeeva.How can we help you ma'am?'


The circle will close and join and the puzzle of suja's sudden death will reveal itself.

The story will now launch itself truly into an all out war and this is now Yuddha kandam when in the original Ramayana,Lord rama crossed the sea in search of sita and raised his mighty bow to wage war and to defeat evil.

Jannal oram 179


To achieve any degree of success in the field that one has chosen,it goes without saying that hard work,concentration,discipline,motivation and basic intelligence is of vital importance.But,to rise to the top requires more than just all that has been listed but a collection of all that more,much more.

DR.Lakshmi was a very smart woman was equipped with above average intelligence.But the man who stood before her was not only equal with her in intelligence but was much more than that.The many long years of practicing Judo had given Raman a certain advantages that come with only rigorous training and meditation.That is why he excelled as a lawyer and also had a excellent track record when it come to the cases he took on.

This simple but vital difference between what dr.lakshmi was and what Raman was came to the fore.

In the briefest moment,that Raman looked into the face of Dr.lakshmi,he registered,recorded and at the same time processed vital information of her microexpressions.

( A microexpressionis the innate result of a voluntary and involuntary emotional response that conflicts with one another. This occurs when the emotion center of the brain responds appropriately to the stimuli that the individual experiences and the individual wishes to conceal this specific emotion. This results in the individual very briefly displaying their true emotions followed by a false emotional reaction.Human emotions are an unconscious bio-psycho-social reaction that derives from the emotion center of the brain and they typically last .5 - 4 seconds,although a microexpression will typically last less than 1/2 of a second.)

Dr.Lakshmi in a gentle voice called ' Jeeva,Jeeva' and when both Jeeva and Raman turned,she reacted very briefly but which was enough for raman who was a grandmaster at reading and sensing another person's expression and body language.

In a split second,Lakshmi's eyes opened wide in recognition and happiness when they met Raman's eyes and took in his face but instantly the good doctor and an highly intelligent one at that changed and composed her expression and turned to jeeva and spoke ' Ma'am,i am very sorry for your loss and i came just to inform you that we are done with your sister's body.'

Before lakshmi could say anything and before jeeva could thank her,Chief of Pathology and forensics Dr.Surendar came up them swiftly and dived right into the conversation ' Lakshmi,are you done?' and Dr.Lakshmi quickly turned to her chief ' Yes sir and i was just informing madam here that we are done.'

Devarajan who had remained inside the cabin out of respect for jeeva and also wanting them both to have their privacy while grieving now came out of the cabin and thanked Dr.surendar ' thank you doctor.It really means a lot to all of us and we truly appreciate your kindness in the matter.'

Dr.surendar waved their thanks off ' I feel honored to have been of service to a fellow doctor and also to a former super cop.Now come along and i will see you through to the end.'

' Lakshmi,bring the body around to the rear of the hospital and please do it quickly.'

Jeeva mutely and like a zombie walked along with dr.surendar and did not notice raman and Devarajan making eye contact.

Hundreds of hours on the mat testing each others skills of technique and strength had given them both a channel of communication and with just a look into devarajan's eyes,raman told him that he was on to something.

Devarajan looked at him and raman turned to the vanishing figure of Dr.lakshmi and whispered ' sir,you trust my instincts,right sir.'

Devarajan slowly walking along following surendar and jeeva mumbled ' of course,more than even my own instincts.But why ask that now?'

Raman shaking his head ' i am not sure as of this moment but my instincts tell me that the doctor might know something about this whole situation.'

Devarajan ' no problem.I am on it.'

Then quietly both of them joined jeeva and surendar and stood while suja's body was being brought out.

Raman took jeeva's arm and led her to a corner ' please forgive me for being so cruel and harsh but it sadly the matter has to be discussed.'

Jeeva looked at him with confusion ' ram,what matter are you talking about?'

Raman's hesitated and then softly ' i mean the cremation and rituals.'

Jeeva felt like her head was spinning and it was spinning and she slowly toppled into raman's arms and fainted away.

Jannal oram 180

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. Christopher Morley


That,suja had been away for nearly three weeks on her medical camp tour and away from them and that now she was no more was too much for kamakshi and manigandan to bear.

Still in the room and unaware of the world outside and only aware of one fact that their precious child had been taken away by death,a painful truth which had been confirmed by her body being taken away,Kamakshi and mani looked at each other pathetically and kamakshi crying lifted mani's face ' Mani,i am the mother and i am the one from whose body she came out.But,both of us know that it is you who is more in tune with their moods and feelings and their mental state.'

Manigandan ' aiyo kamakshi,if i had suspected something i wouldn't have waited so long.I hardly saw her for she went into the room and never came out and i only caught a glimpse of her crying in jeeva's lap.When she left that evening for the camp,she was in such high spirits and we were both happy for her for we knew Mohan was going to be there to look after her and care for her.Whatever fight or whatever problem between them which drove her to this must have happened while she was away from us and home.'

Shaktivel entered the room with a bottle of water and a flask of coffee and both the parents looked at him.

' Raman and jeeva are coming back from the hospital with suja.'

Before kamakshi could begin crying again ' it is okay kamakshi,for suja was not hurt and also no postmortem was done on her although she has been made to look like it had been done.I don't know what raman or jeeva did but it is over now and they will be here in about twenty minutes.'

Manigandan folded his hands and thanked shaktivel ' shakti,we have to prepare for her arrival and we have to arrange for the cremation.'

Valliammai gently touched mani's hands ' don't worry,Mr.govindan nair and Kavitha have taken care of all that and the whole street has been readied with flowers for suja's return home.'

Shaktivel sat down in front of mani and kamakshi ' listen,we cannot keep suja here in the house for too long for the cremation time has been fixed and we have been given special permission to cremate at 8.00 pm and all this is because of kavita and vijay.'

Kamakshi wiping her tears,gently took the bottle of water and drank from it and then giving it to mani also threw her arm around me ' Dei mani,chellam.Suja is coming back and let us go greet her and also send her off with a smile.We can cry later for we have many,many years to do that.But for now,we have to be brave and strong for both our daughters.'

Hearing these words,shaktivel could not take it anymore and broke down and for the first time began to really cry and he cried hard and it broke all their hearts and his wife valli wished she was dead for the sight of her brave and bold husband crying in so much pain was unbearable to watch.

Kamakshi gently lifted her husband up to his feet and then opening the door stepped out and slowly came to the entrance of the house and stood shell shocked for the front portion of their house looked like a flower exhibition and was packed with young faces of boys and girls.

Some she recognised from many years ago as suja's high school friends and some she recognised from suja's college days and holding the trembling and feeble mani she looked at shaktivel who whispered one word ' Kavita.'

Kamakshi leaned against the compound of the wall and began to weep and valli threw her arms around her and stroked her cheeks and did her best to console the desperate mother.

Kamakshi looked at all the children and realising that she was about to say something,a sudden silence fell and even the birds on all the trees fell silent and kamakshi looked at the future generation,the future of their world and spoke ' From the time,suja began to go on her own to the school nearby,i have stood at this very gate,waiting anxiously for her safe return,my heart beating wildly and peace would come only when i saw her and jeeva walking back holding hands and in their white and blue uniforms.'

Some of suja's friends began to cry and kamskhi looked at them ' Even when suja began to go to high school and then to medical college,i used to wait like a thief near the gate waiting to hear her tvs scooty's noise and run off into the house before she found out that i had been waiting for her.For,if she caught me she would angrily yell that she was not a child anymore to be watched and spied on.'

Trembling with anger and pain,she looked at the crowd ' Now,once again she has gone and is coming back,but in a mortuary van.What am i supposed to do and how am i supposed to greet her? All you youngsters grow up and begin to act as adults but always forget that however old you are and how much ever aged we mothers and fathers are,we worry about you,always.Even in our sleep and every moment when we are awake.

Many of you might have fought with your parents for more freedom and more space and that is okay but when it is not granted,when privileges are not bestowed,you should fight for them honorably and gain them through proper means.

Please,i beg of you.Please don't do the same mistake that my child has done.You will never what pain and suffering we go through and it never ends,not until our last breath is done.Maybe,many of you will realise the truth and understand what i just said when you become parents yourselves.'

All these flowers that have been arranged so beautifully should have been done for her wedding that we were planning over the next few months.Her elder sister has sacrificed her adult life for suja to be happy and to have a great education and career and now she is coming back with her dead sister.What am i going to do and with what words will i be able to console her.This house has not just one dead body but four dead bodies.This will not be house anymore but a burial ground.'


A few police constables could be heard yelling in the distance,asking people to give way for the mortuary van and like a sea parting,the people gave way and the van slowly reversed into the narrow street and raman shook jeeva and asked her to look out from the window and jeeva saw the whole street decked with flowers and just ahead of them,the front of her house looked like a flower show.

Smiling,crying she whispered sadly ' Achaa has done this for only he knows apart from us that suja like yellow and orange flowers while my favourite has always been red roses.'

Raman gently held her close to his chest and kissed her head,while part of his mind was sifting and analysing the moments with Dr.lakshmi and how she had reacted on seeing him.

Raman thought hard ' why,why did she react like that? what was she hiding for his instincts screamed that the doctor was hiding something? But what? And was it related to suja and her untimely death.'

Soon,he thought.soon after all this is over,i will get to the bottom of it and we will see what has to be seen and what has been hidden.


There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving

This too and that too


At any given time between 5 to 7.00 am in Besant Nagar beach,there will always be a few hundred people in and around the beach.After 7 or at the most 7.30 am,it gets too hot to sit and chat or make small talk and the very same place that people flocked,thronged to will be abandoned and then it is time for those couples who were i think born inside fire for only they can sit in the raging light of the sun and still smooch under the cover of the female's stole or dupatta while their butts get slowly cooked by the hot sands.

Love is blind and also impervious to fire and water.I sometimes see real funny sights of couples tasting and testing the flavors of paste and mouthwash under the shelter of the thin cloth and one or two dogs will be sitting behind them in the shade of the lovers shadows.

One line always comes to my mind when i see such sights and that is ' indru pol endrum vazhga.I hope this love and passion lasts now and forever.'

Many a time when i am in a group of friends,i will suddenly step away and whip out my mobile phone and click away and one or more in the group will ask ' why satish? why do you keep taking so many pics? it is the same sun everyday?'

I used to reply,answer which i don't much anymore ' the clouds formation look so lovely and that single beam of light peeping through is so beautiful.'

Most of them will look and most of the times the moment would have passed and with them little realising that in that single moment,a song,a quote,a poem,a beautiful thought has already bloomed and flowered in my soul and i whisper the lyrics and my day is made beautiful.

When i was very young,i began to sleep hugging myself curled up in a ball and off to one corner and i still do.
Maybe it is because there was no on to hug or hold me when i was a kid,the practice has persisted and has continued and although my wife found it strange and weird in the beginning,it does not matter much for i use her snoring to do the same again.

Sometimes she will ask me ' dei,can't you write something when you are happy? ' and i did try and failed miserably for i think happiness is a state and it pretty much has nothing to go on once the story has a happy ending.

Imagine these lines ' he and she lived happily after.The king and queen lived happily for a long,long time.The whole family as one now existed only in happiness.'

Okie dokie,now what can you add into a story after it has ended with happiness.

That is why,suja and mohan both came to me and gave me a new angle and a new path to walk in Jannal oram.

Happiness is done with raman and jeeva getting married,finally making love and making babies.Appuram enna.Appuram avallavu thaan.Ellaam veetukku ponga.'

But Suja and mohan told me to expand and add more thrills to the love story of raman and jeeva and sacrifice theirs for a longer life of Jannal oram.

I think a story as long as it is being told is our present state of existence called living and is better than heaven or hell.for both can get boring and stifling after some time and only a mix of both of these states makes for life and our daily struggles.

Did you have a great day? Don't worry for that shall pass.

Did you have a lousy day? Don't worry for that too shall pass.

Did someone hurt you? Don't worry for that shall pass and
the same person will kiss you and both of you will make up ? Don't worry for that too shall pass.

I wish you all a quiet and peaceful Sunday.

Stop it idiot.okay say it and be damned.

Don't worry for that shall pass and wait it will return again.

Jannal oram 181

Everything in this universe started with fire,heat,friction and explosion.Fire is the first born and from fire comes everything.In the field of Astronomy,The Big bang theory explains or at least is as of now the only reasonable hypothesis and idea as to where this infinite universe started from.

A mighty explosion and from its space and time were created and began to expand.Fire,so it is indeed fire and heat from where it all starts from.Even a normal life begins when two cells come together,when two bodies come together in heat and passion and again it is the fire in their bodies and in their souls that creates new life.

Ancient sayings sing and praise in worship of all the five elements and fire comes first for the sun itself is a great ball of fire.

Fire burns,fire kills,fire heals and it is fire now that cremates.

Agnaye swaaha,
Agnaye idam na mama
Prajapataye swaaha,
Prajapataye idam na mama

Unto the fire I am offering all.
This offering is not mine it is
Thine.

Fire consumes all and fire is death and an executioner and partakes everything cast into it.From the sacred ghee poured into homa gundam and to the lifeless body of a young girl.



No one could say exactly when or who started it but the sadness and pain had become so unbearable that some of the older women in their 50's and 60's began to lament and cry out, a practice we call "oppari".

The late veeramma's daughter-in-law started calling suja's name over and over and soon all the women caught on and suja's short life of 20 odd years were made into songs,starting from the time she used to cry and bring the roof down and that too in the middle of the night.

Many a time,when mani was away at work and jeeva was away in play school,Kamakshi used to request the neighbouring women folk to look after suja while she went for a bath,a simple thing that is made impossible when you have a new born and many a time kamakshi used to curse loudly ' god,i smell of baby shit and baby vomit' and hearing these curses,many of the women used to rush to her aid and it did not stop with that and like they had done when kamakshi had been pregnant with jeeva,they used to cook for her and help her with washing the clothes and sweeping the house.

Suja had not just been kamakshis and jeevas child but had belonged to everyone and most of the women ahd bathed her,fed her and cared for her and she had practically grown up in their homes and in their souls and that is why now the women beat their bosoms where they most felt the pain.

It is only from recent times,maybe twenty years or so that women and children have begun to accompany their dead all the way to the burial ground and stay behind until everything is over and done and only ashes remain.

Most of the people,went back to their homes and most of sujas's friends retreated and traced their ways home to ponder on life and its time ( only for a brief while).

But,many of sujas hospital colleagues and mohan's friends went behind sujas last procession and the last trip she would take with her physical body,even though lifeless and stiff now with rigor setting in.

And all of them kept asking the same question ' where is mohan? what had happened between them?'

Raman and jeeva travelled with suja in the mortuary van.Mani and kamakshi travelled in K.K.Agarwals vehicle and shaktivel and valliammai travelled with kavita and govindan nair ' Achaa.'

Respecting kavita's request which were more like orders and fearing her wrath,no party men tagged along and so it was a quiet and quick procession in the dark of the night as everyone felt the very same darkness in their souls too.

The burial ground was quiet and dimly lit with tubelights and a few employees stood casting their shadows in creepy fashion as they waited and watched the procession of vehicles enter their domain and also the domain of the dead and ghosts.

Raman jumped out and helped jeeva out of the van and then with a few others slowly lifted suja's body out from inside and made their way into the hallowed ground of hollow souls.

The two priests were singing from Thirumoolars Thirumanthiram and so it began and when the time came for the body to be placed in the tray,Kamakshi laid herself on her childs body and began to kiss her dead daughters cheeks and screaming ' No,no.She is scared of fire and heat.I cannot let her suffer this pain all alone.Please burn me with her,so at least she will have me company while the fire consumes us both.'

Jeeva gathering her last bit of strength ' amma,what about me and mani? what do we do then? Better,all three wil join her and we will go together and be together in death as in life.'

Raman could not take it anymore for he had never experienced this amount of pain and sorrow and along with his dad and mum,he consoled jeeva and her parents and sujas body was placed in the large tray and slowly it was pushed into the fire and out of their sight and the shutter was closed.

Death now separated life with the bringing down of the shutter and what once was,was now no more.

The fact that they would never see the face of suja,hear the voice of suja was now like the final dagger into all their hearts and kamakshi swooned to the ground with sorrow and pain and mani sank to the ground along with her.

Raman looked at kavita and Achan and understanding his mute request,they helped kamakshi and mani to their feet and took them away.

Raman and his parents gently brought jeeva and made her sit in a chair and then he turned and went still for in the corner crying sadly was Dr.Lakshmi but then his curiosity turned into shock and wonder for next to her stood a man whose face was very familiar and then remembered him as the manager of Landmark bookstore,in chennai citi center.


Raman whispered softly to his dad ' Appa,There is someone i need to talk to.Could you just watch over jeeva until i come back.'

Shaktivel nodded and raman placed a soft kiss on jeevas cheek and getting up walked towards lakshmi and the manager who he had saved among others a few weeks ago in the citi center mall.

He looked at Dr.Lakshmi 'Thank you for being here' and turning to the manager who spoke even before he was questioned ' Sir,i am her brother and i am here for two important reasons.One is that a death in your family is like a death in my family.'

Raman waited and along with him silence waited and together both stared at brother and sister and deep inside his soul,something flickered,an omen,that had started with the dying of the raven earlier in the morning in the court premises.

A spark of anger flickered and yet burying its presence,raman patiently looked on as both brother and sister looked at each other and lakshmi finally blurted ' Raman sir,I don't know if it is relevant or will be of any help now that the body has been cremated.'

Raman' Lakshmi please,what is not relevant anymore and why are you equating that point with suja?'

Lakshmi took out her mobile ' sir,i was the one who managed to save suja from the postmortem and it was i along with another female doctor who prepared her.But,while i was wrapping her up,i saw some injuries on her neck.'

The flame that had flickered now began to build into a fire and the omens started to make sense.

' Injuries,where,i mean which part of her body?'

Lakshmi hurriedly ' no,nothing like that.Only traces of blood clot behind her neck that was covered by the more recent injuries by her hanging.'

Raman looked away ' what do you think caused those injuries doctor.Please be honest and i know you are aware of what the reasons for those kind of injuries are for i also know that an intern in pathology dept also has a vast knowledge in forensics.So please,tell me what the cause of the injuries could have been in your opinion?'

Dr.lakshmi looked at her elder brother ' i think somebody held her by her neck and with pretty brute force.Obviously a man,a very strong man.'

If the good doctor had thought that was it,that was the end of her testimony,she was wrong because she had only been speaking to raman but now advocate raman burst forth with one simple but significant question.

' Dr.lakshmi,i want you to take your time,think hard and then answer this question that i am going to ask you.'

Lakshmi nodded and Raman ' do you think it was mohan who inflicted those injuries on her neck?'

Lakshmi immdiately shook her head ' no sir,never.Not because they were so much in love but because mohan came across as a very gentle soul and he though the world of suja and would have probably died before laying a finger on the lady he loved.'

Breathing heavily and also a bit frightened ' from what little i saw,the grip that left behind the injuries on sujas neck was from a person who was larger than mohan and who had bigger hands.'

The flicker of fire that had burst into a a raging flame now exploded like a volcano and Raman turned his face away and swore again and again.

After a few moments,he turned back sad,angry but calm ' lakshmi,please whatapp those images and do it right now.Please take down my number.'


"Yada yada hi dharmasya glanirbhavati bharata

Abhythanamadharmasya tadatmanam srijamyaham"

Paritranaya sadhunang vinashay cha dushkritam

Dharmasangsthapanart- hay sambhabami yuge yuge

which means:-

"Whenever, O descendant of Bharata, there is decline of Dharma, and rise of Adharma, then I body Myself forth. For the protection of the good, for the destruction of the wicked, and for the establishment of Dharma I come into being in every age."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klevgDRccxA

Pattinathar Birth and Death Song

This body is just a vessel.A vessel of flesh and blood that has been recycled again and again from many other bodies over Billions of years,maybe even Trillions of years.

The Iron,Calcium,Oxygen,Carbon and so many other elements have been there from the beginning.

What was then,is now and will be forever.Death of this vessel is just the death of the Ego that came from it.Ego and vessel will die and one will be elemental again.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

Nothing is ever destroyed but only recycled.

I am adding this video of a scene from the fourth part of the famous CBI movie series that has my favorite actor and 3 time national award for best actor winner Mammootty and another brilliant actor,the late Thilagan and the film is called ' Nerariyan CBI '


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N19ZiL096sI
Tamil version



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS4Ygvq4ntk
the full film but in malayalam.

watch all four parts and i guarantee you will thank me.


In this scene thilagan questions the intelligence of Sethurama iyer CBI,the role played by Mammootty and the question is about pancha bhoothangal,five elements and which one is the most purest.

Once you have seen the scene you will understand why this chapter is about fire and its virtues.

Jannal oram 182


"Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve. Jessica Brody, The Karma Club


Raman stood with his back to everyone present there and stared at the world of lights and shadows that played outside,caught in an eternal power struggle.

Inside the cremation chamber,sujas body was being subjected to temperatures that reached between 1500 to 1900 degrees.The fire god is the first born of the unknown creator and the first to exist in this known universe and he embraced the offering of the dead body of suja with the same love as he would embrace a living,breathing one and went to work.

But in raman's soul,the fire that raged in anger was a terrible one and it reflected in every pore of his skin and in his eyes.

Even in her heart broken state and even from nearly twenty feet away,Jeeva felt his wrath,the fire in his soul and she looked at shaktivel and valli who looked in the direction of their only son and then both helped jeeva who slowly made her way to her lovers side.

Raman felt the presence of jeeva and also his parents who stood a bit farther away from her and he spoke ' Jeeva,can you think of any reason why suja did what she did?'

The question was asked in a tone that none had heard him use before and it sent shiver down their spine and shaktivel with concern gently placed a hand on his son's shoulder ' Iyaa,what kind of question is that? '

Raman again in a voice that sounded more like a deep growl ' appa,let jeeva answer the question please?'

Valliammai nudged shaktivel who looked at her and she shook her head quietly indicating to him to be quiet and then moved her eyes to the exit of the place and walked towards it and shaktivel followed her trembling with fear and concern for his child for he had never,ever heard raman speak in that tone or display that kind of emotion.

Jeeva stood next to raman and looked at him while he kept his gaze fixed on the darkness outside.

' Ram,you have seen me,heard me and have been with me and my family for many months now.Suja was more like my own child than my younger sister.I have tended to her,bathed her,clothed her and it was in my lap that she would fall asleep even as a baby.She did not grow up in my lap,did not sleep next to me in one bed but she lay and lived in my soul and was my soul.'

Jeeva clasped raman left arm with both her arms and looked up at him ' baby,why do you ask this strange question when you know that i would have willingly sacrificed my life for hers,then and now,even with you in it.I said no to our marriage plans for suja's sake.I lived a single and lonely life and sacrificed love and riches for suja's sake.'

Raman did not answer and jeeva with trembling hands placed them in his cheeks and pulled his face down so that she could see his eyes and try to understand the reason for the question and when her eyes met his,she stepped back for he did not look like the man she knew.

Raman looked at her like an angry king cobra and hissed ' jeeva,i will ask you just once and you will answer it in plain and simple terms?'

Jeeva still in shock on seeing raman like this felt a strange fear gripping her body ' what is it? what answers do you seek?'

Raman stared at her and then his lips moved ' what do you want me to do if you find out that someone was behind suja leaving you and all of us?'

Jeeva's eyes flickered many times and she looked here and there as if searching for an answer and then the enormity and significance of the question began to seep into her tired mind and now slowly the same emotion and anger that filled and shone out of raman's eyes began to reflect in her eyes as she comprehended what was and what might have been the reasons for suja's suicide.

Raman continued to stare at her,unblinking,unfeeling,cold as death and his eyes flickered as jeeva opened her beautiful lips and spat ' kill,kill.Kill them all.If someone was the reason behind my sister's death,then don't stop until all traces of them have been wiped out.'

Raman breathed and a great sigh passed from his lungs and soul and from the farthest corner,the shutters opened with a hiss and a man came carrying a small brass bowl which held suja's ashes,the only remains of what had once been a happy and beautiful life full of promise.

The song of Raman

I had always thought that i could be content
with very little things,simple things
that bring joy,beauty and happiness

I had never known that i could be discontented
disconnected,desolate and depressed
until your lips touched my lips

I had always thought that life was simple and easy
and then you came along and made it complicated and tough
You have made me a poet,a singer and make me feel
like i am the greatest lover in the world

But now,i see you in tears,broken and lost
and i feel even more broken and lost than you

There is only one way the fire and pain
that rage and blaze in your soul can be doused

I know what it is and i willingly will go and
come back with water from the river of blood.

Now behold the age of Kalki yuga in which there is no place for Lord Rama but for a new avatar that is part Rama and part Raavan and a huge part of Kali,death incarnate.There is no time for peace and penance.There is only time for revenge and death.