Suhana:Secrets between partners

Suhana's Corner: Secrets between partners breeds mistrust

Hi everyone, this week I was in a very bad mood as Ishaan and I ended up fighting over two issues. While one reason was the fact that I didn't tell him about Bade Papa, the other was his attempt to divert my questions on someone's presence in the house when I was not around.

Fighting with Ishaan makes me restless and anxious as I love him a lot and would never want to hurt him. But he has been unavailable emotionally and on the phone making it highly impossible for me to explain why I didn't tell him about Bade Papa. I returned to Mumbai to surprise him but was shocked instead when on my return, my maid informed that Ishaan didn't allow her to enter the house while I was away. Yet I put the thought aside as I wanted to manaoIshaan. I decorated the apartment as a peace offering. Before his return, I noticed two tea cups and the smell of women's perfume on Ishaan's towel. And my mind raced.

When I questioned him if someone had come in my absence, Ishaan got angry with me instead about the Bade Papa issue. Arguments between us got heated and his taunts, that I should stay in Delhi as the Kashyaps are my family, hurt me. I apologized for hiding the fact from him but I also explained that it was Badi Maa's secret. She asked me not to tell him, so I couldn't. Ishaan was beyond rational thought and lashed out at me. His last barb that it was a matter of his family - really hurt as if I am not part of this family. I realise that hiding things from your partner can breed mistrust despite your best intentions. But in this case I don't think I am at fault.

Whereas when I asked him again about the towel, he kept harping on the Bade Papa issue and fighting with me, I had to get defensive too. I know he is hiding something. I don't want to behave like a typical house wife and nag my husband but these are rational questions. I was very hurt with Ishaan's rude attitude but the next morning after talking to Badi ma suddenly when he hugged me all our tiffs were solved.

Would you hid things from your spouse if needed? Do write to me at suhana@starplus.in. You can also join me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. Don't forget to catch Sasural Genda Phool every Mon-Fri at 7:30 PM.