I have tried everything possible to enable him to recall our marriage but the plans have backfired. Last week, all my strength gave away and I broke down when Ishaan thought I was shameless for eyeing him as Shashikala is married. I thought dressing up in the traditional bhartiya naari style, which is how Ishaan thinks of his dream girl, would help but it didn't.
I felt like pulling my hair off in frustration and crying my heart out. I did some of both but realised there is nothing gained by self pity. Sure, when emotions come to a boil, you vent them out but once you are spent, there is nothing much to do but look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Amidst such gloomy thoughts, I decided to cheer myself up and like always -I thought of my family. I have been reminiscing about the happy times spent with my family and would like to share them with you.
I guess when I look back I realise that it was my relationship with Badi Ma that gave me a head start in the Kashyap family. You could say, I was a lost soul but she grounded me with her love, care and support. She became the mother I always wanted and perhaps needed too. When I was all set to leave Ishaan, it was Badi Ma's ill health that egged me to stay back. I volunteered and took care of Badi ma during the night, though everyone at home was skeptical about me as they didn't trust me to do the job well. Spending time with Badi ma strengthened our bond and we formed the relationship of a mother and daughter. I got very emotional about my mother and I truly felt she was my mother, in a different avtaar. Badi Ma and I share an unbreakable relationship since then. She has been a positive influence in my life. I think my life would be incomplete without her.
Dadaji and Dadima might be the eldest in the family but it is their child like quality that keeps them young. They are the cutest couple and complete darlings! They sure know how to live life with their love, their tiffs and their patch ups. I truly enjoy their names for each other -Shahjehan and Mumtaz. I had planned a romantic getaway for them to spend quality time sight-seeing in Delhi. I had decorated the scooter and gave them a grand send off. They were so thrilled with the surprise. Later, I remember when I was diagnosed with the tumour, and had a fashion show in my room, I dressed up all the Kashyap parivaar ladies Rajni didi, Disha didi, Ishika and our lovely Meena Kumari but when Dadiji came and did a smashing ramp walk, they all shed their inhibitions and joined in the fun too. Dadaji and Dadima have always been the first ones to give inventive ideas and tips to woo Ishaan.
When you think of mother-in-law, mostly the typical ones shown in serials or films come to mind but my saasuma is a darling. She is so giving and loving that I feel lucky to be her daughter-in-law. I remember she decided to get an AC for Ishaan and my room as I was used to it. This was just after we were married- how thoughtful. Sure back then, I didn't appreciate it much but later when I realised the facts of life, I did. I also tear up when I think of her selling her bangles for my tumour operation. Who does something like that in today's times? That was a total self less thing to do. Earlier, I wasn't into family discussions or sharing much about my life, but today when I know and love my family, I want to talk about all that is happening in my life.
I love spending time with Inder and Elesh bhaiya, as well as Rajni and Disha bhabhi, who are like my brothers and sisters. All of them were very accommodating and adjusting to my mood swings, my behaviour when I came to the Kashyap house. I came closer to Rajni and Disha didi after Rajni didi taught me how to bargain during one of our shopping trips, which was super fun. Later, when I dressed up Mithi for her fancy dress competition and she won, Rajni didi was very happy with my efforts. It was a super cool moment for me too. I had a great time bonding with my bhabhis at home, cooking, talking and gossiping. They have become my close friends as we talk, laugh, gossip, fight and do all sorts of things women do. They know me so well.
I remember when I cooked for the first time in the house- I made a continental dish and everyone was surprised that it turned out so well. Perhaps they expected me to fail or not make it so well but these moments are ones that I will cherish forever.
When I look back I realise how much my life has changed. Now I am married and very happy indeed. My super strong family has been with me through thick and thin, through my declaration of love for Ishaan, to my tantrums as a newlywed. They have been with me through every step of the way. I consider myself lucky to have such a loving and supporting family. The belief that they are with me gives me strength to go on in bleak moments when I get desolate about Ishaan's condition and begin to doubt if he will ever remember his Suhana. I guess, you don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
Talking and thinking about these precious moments has surely made me feel much better. I hope you enjoyed reading it too. Likewise, share your favourite moment from the show at suhana@starplus.in and let me know how it touched your heart. Looking forward to hearing from you all, in the meanwhile keep watching Sasural Genda Phool every Monday to Friday at 7.30 pm only on STAR Plus.
Fan comments
Ardhra Maneesha - Hi Suhana, I'm Maneesha an +1 student from Kerala. You are superb! I like & my friends love your acting. SGP really rocks! We like the story so much. I like the innocence of you and Ishaan. Its really a stress remover. Your smile is really beautiful. So please Keep smiling!!! I hope Ishaan will get back his memory soon. We like your jodi very much. We have a request, please so the retelecast of SGP at 5'o clock instead of 4.30 please. It's a group request. Nowadays we can't see it that's why. Hope you will accept our request.
Suhana ' Hi Maneesha. Thanks for loving and enjoying Sasuraal Genda Phool so much. I hope Ishaan gets his memory back soon too. In fact I am waiting for that day! And as for the telecast timings, I will pass on your message to the STAR team and hope they do the needful. Keep watching and writing in.
Krishna maaleyam- hai suhana, I am amrutha from kerala, hope u know about our state. I am a regular viewer of ur show sasuraal genda phool. i love watching it. in middle of the serious stories telecasting ur show is really different. it's really interesting. I dream of being part of kasyap family. it's really so cool living in such an atmosphere. also i like ur way of dressing including ur sarees and churidhars. it's simply superb- cool. also ur smile is so beautiful. i have one suggestion, please straighten ur hair. u look much more good. hope u will read this mail.
Suhana - Of course, I know about Kerala. It is a beautiful place and I feel you are so lucky to stay in God's own country. Thanks for all the generous praise of my look and sari. We try to experiment as much as we can hence the curly look. it is so sweet of you to think of the Kashyap family as your own. We are grateful and honoured to have fans like you.
Priyanka Masand - hi suhana ! i used 2 write 2 u almost daily bt nw me writng 2 u aftr arnd 2 mnths. cud nt wite coz i ws buy wid my exams bt i didn stopd watchng SGP instead of my exams. dat ws my only source of entertainment during exam times. i really luv ur work. ur watch collction in SGP is 2 gud. nd i m really luving dis memory loss track. dis track is awsum "shashikala ji". nd really njoyng d way u flirting wid ishaan nd d way ishaan luks at u, he luks so cute. nd i m sure he wl soon remembr u coz aapko koi jyada din tk kaise bhul sakta hai. al d best.
Suhana ' I too missed your mails and I am glad you wrote after your exams. Hope your exams went well and all the best for the results. I am glad you are enjoying Shashikala and the memory loss track. Do keep writing and watching Sasuraal Genda Phool.
Ashish Pandey - hello suhana i m from Guwahati. how r u. u just looked too beautiful in retro look. the sarees which u wear in the show suits u very much u & ishaan look so good together. from the ongoing episodes it is clear that ishaan is attracted towards u he cares for u so much that he can't c u crying. i wil also say that don't be sad nd keep smiling always. love u suhana
Suhana ' Thank you so much for all the lovely compliments. It is due to support from fans like you that I keep smiling in the tough times too.
Rahat Fahad -hi suhana kysi hy app? i just love you n your show i m rahat from Pakistan plz meri mail ka ansr zror dejiye ga me n my husband love ur show. actually me and my husband fahad is like u n ishaan. ragni plz meri mail ka ansr dejiye ga may ny facebook py b apko hi ki thi but you remove it. plza ansr me i just love you. may apka wait kru gi
Suhana ' OMG, your husband is like my Ishaan? How cute. Thanks for all the love and support. Do keep writing and watching Sasuraal Genda Phool.
Ruchi Agarwal - Hi, I love the sarees Suhana wears in the serial Sasural Genda Phool. The green and black pallu saree with multi-colored dots worn are awesome. I want tehm!!! I have googled but am unable to trace any details. Information about this would be highly appreciated. Thanks so much and all the best!
Suhana ' Thank you for loving my style and saris. I love them too. In fact I choose them myself but my designer works hard to provide the best. I heard that Suhana saris are now available in the markets. Do check shops in your area, hopefully you will get lucky.
nivedita samuel - Hi Suhana, This is Nivedita U r so cute. Whatever be my worries, whenever i see SGP i start laughing out loud. Ur my most favorite, as ur my mirrior image. Pampered elder daughter with a towering temper and very little patience. Honestly, when i watch u on screen i feel so light and happy. Ur smile is awesome. Its so sweet and all the more when u cry u look so innocent and adorable. Recent episodes the tricks u play to win back ur love is simply superb!!!! Keep going on. When all the other serials make u all weepy, Its a pleasure watching SGP. Regards, Nivedita
Suhana ' Thanks for loving and enjoying Sasuraal Genda Phool. Do keep watching and writing.
Kriti Reddy -Suhana. consult your family members and tell Ishaan that you are Suhana and not Shashikala. Then show him your wedding photos and I think he'll accept you as his wife and come close to you. :)Kriti Reddy
Suhana ' Yes this seems like a nice idea. I will surely think about it. Thank you for your suggestion. Do keep watching and writing in.
movie buff- Hi suhana or shud i call u Shashikala! havent written for long, i dont know whether u have time to read all the letters, but i like writing to you! initially when track of Ishaan forgetting Suhana began, i was shocked but later felt the track was introduced to show as suhana neglected ishaan for long and didnot his affection, she is neglected by ishaan. unlike other serials where one central character in the serial is at the receiving end through out here every one is treated equall!! SGP is known for that, hain na? Any ways all the best on your endeavors to win Ishaan back! Somehow have a gut feeling, Ishaan has already remembered everything and is generally getting back at Inder, Ilesh and Suhana who wrongly introduced his wife as someone elses! Regards Asha
Suhana ' I try to read and reply to as many mails as possible. Thanks for writing in though. And as per your suggestion, if Ishaan has indeed regained his memory and is getting back at us, I don't think he can be so heartless to make me cry and suffer for so long. I think he really doesn't remember.
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