why expectations ?

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zzoombie

@zzoombie

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

this post is not about blaming/debating who spoiled whose life , after the initially sorrow the point which stings me most is why the society has this mindset that if they marry their rich spoiled son who is drunkard, womaniser unemployed, brutal unemotional, uneducated and so on to some talented ,educated, sanskari and beautiful girl..
she has the responsibility to reform and groom him to an attractive and the most wonderful person just like the exact 180 degree turn from his original character and personality.
why...because they are rich and have given their royal name to their daughter in law as "daan" and now she has to repay them back for their mighty "ehsaan" by being a good wife as well as daughter in law...and a reformer of the house

Coming to the point...Kumud is assigned the task of dogmaster . if she succeeds she will pass the test of being a good beti/bahu otherwise she will be tagged as good for nothing girl who doesnt have the capability of handling her husband and home...
husbands own parents and siblings suddenly get clean chit for all the bad characterstic personality they had instilled in him just coz they have showered the girl with money and goodies.

who gave Buddhi Dhan the rights to marry his useless son to a worthy girl so that she reforms him ? it would be appropriate to say that he completely manipulated the situation VC was in to maintain his family honour .with His money ,Power and status ...he tried buying all the values which he assumed she brought with her. he cheated a loving family of their bonding and trust by not putting forth the truth about his son.
BD has placed Kumud in the same bracket as his wife . he humilates his wife about protecting Pramad but instead of feeling shame for handing Kumud such a garbage bag he tells her to learn more excuses from her mom in law... the family is least concerned about finding out if the girl is being treated well or is their son taking good care of her...she is one decoration piece of the house and expectations are natural...

Pity is that even though the novel was written in 1887...this practice is still present ...there is No Saraswatichandra today to back out of wedding a day before and no Kumud who is saving her family pride but even today so many girls are forced into such relationships...why such high expectations and why wasting someones life ...why sacrificing happiness in the name of Maan maryada ...
and why buying a girls life with goodies which are going to be useless anyways after entering into such hollow marriages.
I want SLB to handle this part so aesthetically so that it becomes an inspiration and guide for the young girls to stand against injustice

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-Ivy-

@-Ivy-

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Really well said, zzoombie 👏

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SUDHA

@sudhabalakumar

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

Amazing post dear...Even i am angry with Buddinathan that he spoiled a talented and educated girl like kumud. Kumud was once a teacher to guide and reform the kids at school. But how will she do this to Pramad, who has no values for kumud.

I pity here for Kumud.

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Divya

@april12

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

This happens a lot in real life. Any problem someone says "oh just get him married and it'll be fine." I get so mad. I hate it when a girls life is ruined especially when she had no clue about it before hand.

But I do believe that love can change a person. That is not the case in serial but the in laws might be aiming for this. The parents should feel ashamed of themselves for not properly bringing him up. I don't like how this playing blame game.

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SHANA

@ShanUlas

Sparkler

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

u r absolutely right ...but then marrying a prodigal son of house in expectation to get him changed is the last hope of parents and sometimes it does work too but never always !!!

but here all i feel is that the girl should know what kind of man she is marrying and should have all rights to say no

but these kind of marriages sometimes to prove blessing to the girls family in case they r very poor ...i feel it kind of economy balance a rich comes to poor with his own drawbacks and poor trade offs as for him its often a chance to change the lives of other family members who would always be in poverty if they say no...

Dont throw chappals on me...but i do have seen one marriage in my village...but the great thing was the girl was told all truth and she did take up the challenge .her four brothers were provided best education and miracle was the man she married proved a boon for her and did change for good...though the girl lived the hellful life in beginning...

...its such examples they encourage parents to think ...miracles can be done by a girl...which is not always the case ...as mostly such marriages end up in marital violence and life long cage for the girl ...which is surely the case of Kumud

here we have expectations coz we know she has a true lover like Saras who can save her and so we all hope at least Kumud could be saved and get a life to live happily with the man she loves

Edited by shana0127 - 12 years ago

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zzoombie

@zzoombie

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: sudhabalakumar
Amazing post dear...Even i am angry with Buddinathan that he spoiled a talented and educated girl like kumud. Kumud was once a teacher to guide and reform the kids at school. But how will she do this to Pramad, who has no values for kumud.

I pity here for Kumud.

Honestly i dont like kumuds character portrayal right now
its diametrically opp from where they started
and i want her to stand against injustice.
want fiery Kumud back 😕 😭

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zzoombie

@zzoombie

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: shana0127
u r absolutely right ...but then marrying a prodigal son of house in expectation to get him changed is the last hope of parents and sometimes it does work too but never always !!!

but here all i feel is that the girl should know what kind of man she is marrying and should have all rights to say no

but these kind of marriages sometimes to prove blessing to the girls family in case they r very poor ...i feel it kind of economy balance a rich comes to poor with his own drawbacks and poor trade offs as for him its often a chance to change the lives of other family members who would always be in poverty if they say no...

Dont throw chappals on me...but i do have seen one marriage in my village...but the great thing was the girl was told all truth and she did take up the challenge .her four brothers were provided best education and miracle was the man she married proved a boon for her and did change for good...though the girl lived the hellful life in beginning...

...its such examples they encourage parents to think ...miracles can be done by a girl...which is not always the case ...as mostly such marriages end up in marital violence and life long cage for the girl ...which is surely the case of Kumud

here we have expectations coz we know she has a true lover like Saras who can save her and so we all hope at least Kumud could be saved and get a life to live happily with the man she loves

Shana i agree with your points 😃
most of the times we see rich, interested in girls from poor families who are beautiful and educated . but they clear things before marriage and is accepted if not rushed and fully accepted by both the families. both parties gain something out of the alliance. some money and future and the other beautiful grandkids generation...an evolution.

but grabbing the first opportunity when the other person is ruled by grief and taking advantage of the situation and offering their sons marriage to a girl who hardly lacks anything...its cruelty as well as cheating...especially when this class think that they can get away with anything . when they ride high on their power to hide or manipulate things...that makes me sad...that makes them selfish also as its like killing someone soul just to try improving their sons life on experimental grounds.

and cases like Pramad... they hardly have any chances to recover...

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Meenu CNair

@Meenu7617

Beginner

Posted: 12 years ago

well said yaar, i also felt the same for buddiyan. i think he should know thr truth abt his son- kumud relation and should do repend . as now he knows naveenchandra is well mannered and has lots of good qualities. he have to make kumud marry saras so to correct his mistake. if now not possible, then after pramad's death

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why expectations ?

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