Racism and its Ugly Shade, Hidden vs. Apparent

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: Omshanti1111
<font color="#000066">Suchitra,👍🏼 very nice topic👏

actually, but unfortunately till many people believe in India that "Pehle darshandhari Pichhe gunbichari"...although , dark skinned girls are making their ways in different spheres of life, but about arranged marriage, the society still stays there, the "fair " girl always gets preference. As regards to marriage, our society needs to progress. A liing example was in Perfect bride show, I dont know who it was...I think Gaurav's mother taunted Vrinda or Suchitra being dark skinned. This is a reality and it needs to change.

I myself have a cousin, who is very dark, but her features are good, she is educated...but we are not able to find a suitable guy for her through an arranged marriage...
</font>

Its just sad, I know so many girls who are very beautiful but they cannot find suitable grooms Arranged or meeting themselves because guys want pretty girls and more so their parents. So even if they girls are able to meet someone who share their interests etc. their parents start making issue.

And start rejecting the girls, and if she lets say is pretty then they bring in status.

I think its very important that children take permission from their parents but parents need to understand that if they keep on putting hindrances the the children will revolt. Thus a smart parent is the one raises their children in such a way that, they make their children well -established, independent and finally they trust their children's decisions. So if the children's chosen partners are good in Ikhlaaq then they should not raise any other issue.

Sometimes finances can be an issue, and it can be reasonable in the case of a guy cause the guy needs to be able to support the family. So I think the parents should look at the guys job meaning that he can earn and take care of his family rather than his bank balance.

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Kezia

@MagixX

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

Sad but true..There is no 'Ranvir' in the real world-He is fictional and will always remain as one!
There maybe one or two who say that Beauty doesn't matter and really mean it but that's just a minority as in minoooorrrrrriiiiiittttttttttyyyyyyyy!!(In India!!)

Edited by Ashrozia - 15 years ago

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

And when she is dark, tell her to use fair and lovely, tell her that her complexion is "dirty" (DIRTY?!), tell her to use this & that.

Yes shona I was going to bring the fair and lovely point but its been a while since I left India so I wasn't sure if they used Fair and Lovely there anymore. But when I was in school there it was the in thing.

I remember praying to God to make my skin more fair and I was 12 years old then. Now when I think about it, How an innocent child can pray for such a thing?

and honestly, the racism is sooo engrained within us , and the inferior complex within us that,

By GOD i wanted to write here when I said above that I wanted to be more fair... I wanted to write ,
btw I am not that dark ...

My subconscious mind is wanting me to write that so that people do not think that I am 'that' dark. I am amazed right now how my mind has thought that.

We have to seriously remove this Poisson from our minds that has been engrained with in our very blood streams

and I honestly do not know how?

I am questioning to myself...when my son will be at the age of marriage how will I be?
will I stand for what I believe?
Sigh!?

I remember reading a verse in Qur'an, beautiful are in sight of GOD those who are the most pious.

Also , You bring up another EXCELLENT POINT SHonaa.. look at the terminologies that these people use?

they call fair skinned girls: 'uska saaf rang hai' saaf (clean)
and uska thoda maila rang hai : 'maila = dirty'

I have seen people using savla...or Gandumi as a description but thats ok cause that actually talks about a shade of brown but still it means in the derogatory sense.

Edited by suchitra_1 - 15 years ago

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Sai Datta

@sayeed007

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

suchitra, u mean u talk about girls more than boys? boys and girls are equal. what about SC and ST? there has a huge problem about caste in the educational institutions so many times. they are talking about quota. some ministers may do something against highly caste.

if any poor and black person join nice school, some rich and fair classmates don't like him/her or don't help him/her. i feel very sad to see this bad scene. that means dark skins of people will be happened nothing. that's GOD'S GIFT!😊

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

What is SC and ST?

Sorry... I am assumings its to do with Caste?
I remember Forward caste and BC. But I am unaware of these terms

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.shona.

@.shona.

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

Another issue is offcourse preference of boy child & genocide. This is a true incident that happened. Ok so i don't have a brother and when i was like 7 or 8 i think, i used to hear ppl suggest my mom to have another child & it would definitely be a boy. And i used to hear all the chant about boys & how sons are important and all that. I remember that time these things affected my mind so much that i started thinking like them too. An 8 year old girl started fearing what would happen to her happens cuz they dnt have a son. I went to my mom & said i want to have a brother (not because i really wanted to, but cuz ppl wanted to). Then my mom said, why...wont u 2 sisters take care of me when u grow up? I dnt need anybody else...at that moment i came out of the society's stupid influence & realized what i was actually saying & thinking lol. Sometimes people around you just affects/influences your mind the way their minds work, its scary. Some people even say anything infront of anybody before thinking how will it affect them. Wonder if they dnt have a heart or do they think other ppl dnt have a heart?

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Kezia

@MagixX

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: sayeed87
[P]suchitra, u mean u talk about girls more than boys?

Precisely so!
I mean feminists are feminists only because of the society!
It's the way females were treated in the past,be it India or anywhere else which has given place to feminists!
Boys have had their golden days,now it's the girl's time!😆
That being said,I am really not a feminist but I don't blame feminists for being one because it's the society which has given place for them!

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Kezia

@MagixX

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: suchitra_1
What is SC and ST?

Sorry... I am assumings its to do with Caste?
I remember Forward caste and BC. But I am unaware of these terms

SC=Scheduled caste,
ST=Scheduled tribe.

Here's a detailed explanation:-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheduled_castes_and_scheduled_tribes

Edited by Ashrozia - 15 years ago

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.shona.

@.shona.

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: suchitra_1
And when she is dark, tell her to use fair and lovely, tell her that her complexion is "dirty" (DIRTY?!), tell her to use this & that.

Yes shona I was going to bring the fair and lovely point but its been a while since I left India so I wasn't sure if they used Fair and Lovely there anymore. But when I was in school there it was the in thing.

I remember praying to God to make my skin more fair and I was 12 years old then. Now when I think about it, How an innocent child can pray for such a thing?

and honestly, the racism is sooo engrained within us , and the inferior complex within us that,

By GOD i wanted to write here when I said above that I wanted to be more fair... I wanted to write ,
btw I am not that dark ...

My subconscious mind is wanting me to write that so that people do not think that I am 'that' dark. I am amazed right now how my mind has thought that.

We have to seriously remove this Poisson from our minds that has been engrained with in our very blood streams

and I honestly do not know how?

I am questioning to myself...when my son will be at the age of marriage how will I be?
will I stand for what I believe?
Sigh!?

I remember reading a verse in Qur'an, beautiful are in sight of GOD those who are the most pious.

It's ok suchitra...i m sure we all thought the same thing when we writing too...thinking that will ppl think that we r dark or not. Read my previous post, just read wat i was thnking in teh influence of our society when i was just 8! You society does influence us but at the end of the day its our own wish if we want to get out of that influence or not. And all the posts here definitelly assure that we are not among those who fall into the trap of influence. It's just a matter of realization as to what are you doing and thinking, then youu can make clear judgements.

Every creation of Allah is beautiful. He would've never made any dark ppl if "dark" was considered "ugly". Loved that verse suchitra😊

In foreign countries south asians are known as BROWN ppl. Yes we are brown, & we are broud. That's our identity. Why want to be white?😉

Edited by _-sHoNaa-_ - 15 years ago

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#20

Thanks Ashrozia...
I have many Paki friends, and this is something I see in Paki lands as well

One of my friends told me about these kids

8-9 years old the 8 year old kid does more akad cause she is 'fairer' 'cuter' and their parents actually encourage her behavior by taking her nakhra cause she is youngest one and fairest. The relatives also address those kids as savli vs. gori (saaf rang hai uska)

I mean 8-9 year olds poor kids look at what they are being taught.

=====

@ ShoNaa , I completely agree... When I had my son GOSH the environment was TOTALLY different. Every one was soo happy. Thank God my husband is very very very normal and nice. He dosen't differentiate but the society , dosen't matter where you are still effects.

I remember when i had my first child, a girl , I got calls from older women, they were actually saying to me 'its ok, they are a gift from GOD don't worry, don't feel bad'

After some exhausting labor I was not thinking straight totally hazed up I was confused at what she was saying and It took me quite a while to figure it out. I was totally shocked and told my husband he was equally shocked and said , she is old and this is what she knows and thus she has reacted in such a way.

So you are right, the women think and say such things because this is what they have seen !

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